Love You Some Day
by MegamiTenchi
Summary: We make each other. A young, single Blair happens upon the already rakish and infamous Chuck Bass doing what he does best. Blair will never be the same- then again, neither will Chuck. MA for language, drinking, and endless gratuitous smut. AU, Chair, NJBC.
1. The Garden

The Garden

A single, beautiful girl with a grand...fortune, must be in want of a man.

Or at least his attention.

That's all Blair could think when she caught site of her long-legged, blonde bombshell best friend across the terrace. Tipping the class of orange juice, secretly mixed with a healthy dose of vodka, all the way back, Blair enjoyed the burn of acid and alcohol. Disposing of her glass, she wished she could surrender a great many other things she no longer needed so easily. It wasn't her, to drink like this, but she was ready for summer to be over.

That included Lily van der Woodsen's annual garden party. Blair saw the hostess in a similar situation as her young daughter: center stage in the middle of an adoring audience of men. Some role model, Blair thought. Like mother, like daughter after all.

But it was typical for this crowd. Parents not noticing that their children were blooming into early adulthood, with all the mischievousness that followed. Serena and Blair might be the bestest of friends, but Serena also had all the boys while Blair had all of the books.

Descending the stone steps of the terrace, Blair watched her feet crease a path into the lush green grass of the massive garden that surrounded the van der Woodsen's Hamptons estate. Blair had passed many of her childhood summers here and knew her way through the rose garden, past the eloquent fountain that was larger than most Brooklyn lofts, towards her beloved ruins. Mimicking great old English gardens, a faux ruin of Greco-Roman nature was meticulous tossed on the edge of the estate, nestled among a cluster of pine trees.

As a girl, she had loved its secluded space. She used to curl up against a tall, crooked column with the quiet sounds of the country and a good book, the summer sun watching over her. Today she would settle for some sun and quiet, away from a party full of adults with a strange sprinkle of their teenage children. Sitting down would be nice too. Bookish didn't mean she looked like Audrey Hepburn at the beginning of Funny Face! But these shoes really weren't helping her mood today.

The sunlight burst bright white off of the ruined fragments of marble. To Blair's alarm, it wasn't just bright white. She instantly froze, finding someone in her ruins. A pop of pink, a ruffled shock of brown hair—no, it was…blonde? A few curious steps to the right cleared up the confusion.

It wasn't just _one_ person leaning against her favorite crooked column. It was two. A pretty blonde girl, her entire body, arms, legs, and wispy floral dress, was wrapped around a fine looking specimen of man making up that pop of pink and shock of brown hair.

Her sacred space was officially corrupted because some couple couldn't keep in their pants or at the very least find a vacant bedroom! Disgust mingled with an odd fascination with the rhythm of their movements. Their hands struggling between grasping fabric, touching skin, and grabbing hair, Blair couldn't quite find her manners and turn away. His hand touched her knee—no, oh dear. It disappeared underneath her dress.

The girl paused her kisses long enough to throw her head back and let out a happy cry. Blair certainly had a good idea where that hand had gone.

A bolt of horror struck. By tossing back her head, the female had finally revealed her partner. Blair knew the tawny eyes that were presently locked onto her.

Oh, God. She mentally screamed at her feet to move, her eyes to look away, but she _couldn't_. Was she having sunstroke? How much vodka had she dumped in her orange juice? She felt her cheeks flaring red as his mouth curled in an arrogant, challenging smile. On God's green planet, how had she thought _he_ was a man?

Chuck Bass was only 15. Just like her!

But entirely unlike Chuck, she hadn't dated much at all, and she'd certainly never made out with anyone. Yet she couldn't look away. Her earlier fascination had caused an aching pulse between her legs. Chuck's eyes, that dangerous smile, were making her heart race. Against her better judgment, Blair found herself imaging she was the girl pressed underneath him.

* * *

Chuck was delighted to discover their prissy, petite voyeur. Those big brown eyes, the horror and innocence on her face at finding him in pursuit of pleasure, it all just made him harder and hornier. This would be _fun_. His blonde treat was panting and had proved she was more than sufficiently moist. Without need of guidance, she had pulled his pants open after fishing the condom from his pocket. He'd chosen well this afternoon. She gave him several firm strokes before getting to her task, though he hardly needed the extra help thanks to the princess of perfection, Ms. Blair Waldorf.

Ready at last, he hoisted the girl's leg up and leaned in. She wrapped her other leg around his waist and he drove home, unable to take his eyes from Blair and her sweetly naïve face. He saw it in her eyes though. That haze of desire, that despite herself, she kept standing there because she liked what she was seeing.

He thrust into the blonde even harder with that thought. What a delicious find. Pristine, hoity Blair Waldorf was a little dirty inside. He watched those full, pert lips part slightly as she watched him. He imagined what those luscious red lips would look like—feel like, wrapped around his cock. The idea of having such an icon of perfection down on her knees before him caused his balls to tighten with pleasure and that final rush of blood before he climaxed. He growled in his partner's ear, "Say my name."

"Oh, Chuck!"

From beneath hooded lashes, Chuck managed to continue watching Blair. Her increasingly mortified innocence made him think she might faint on the spot. But, she finally found the strength to bolt from the scene.

He wanted to run after her, to tease and torment her for watching him fuck one of the bitches from Chapin, but his climax prevented him. A little of his frustration and anger with the world surged from his body as he came. When every drop was drained, he allowed the harlot to slide to the ground, her blissful face or feelings meaning nothing to him as he fixed his pants and rushed back towards the party.

He found Blair, a fresh flute of orange juice in one hand, and one of the secret fun flasks tucked in several of the potted plants in the other. He chuckled to himself as he watched the vodka drop into her drink as he walked up behind her. He leaned in close, his mouth nearly pressed to her ear. His voice was even lower than usual due to his recent climax "In need of fortification?"

He had her pinned in a shaded corner of the large patio and he watched her back go ramrod straight at his words. When she whirled around to meet his gaze, he found he was enjoying his first close encounter with the class virgin. A cool exterior, but in those eyes, he saw the fire below.

"I'm just freshening up before finding Serena."

She had dropped the flask back into the plant before turning to him, but he glanced how tightly she held the glass in her hand, and her voice was defensively clipped.

"Are you sure there isn't something…" He took his time raking his gaze slowly over her body, "you'd like me help you with?"

Her tone and speech became even more proper than before. "I have not the faintest clue what you are talking about."

Chuck leaned back in to whisper in her ear, the back of his hand lightly caressing down her arm, causing goose bumps on her soft skin. "I'm _sure_ if I thrust my hand between your legs right now, I'd find you know exactly what I'm talking about."

He heard her breathing become slightly more labored. The scent of her perfume was sweet, but heady, and Chuck felt himself grow instantly hard again. What was this nothing-virgin doing to elicit such an intense response from him? He wanted to truly touch her, to kiss her, and discover if this pull, this attraction, was just his imagination.

Her voice faltered, "Oh. There's Serena."

She was gone, leaving him nothing but a light cloud of her perfume and a terribly uncomfortable erection.

* * *

Blair rushed to her best friend. Serena was leaning happily against the balustrade of the patio, basking like a golden goddess in the sun.

Serena squealed, catching sight of her approaching friend. "B! Enjoying yourself?"

Blair gave her best friend a sour cringe. "I was, until Chuck Bass started talking to me!"

Serena gave her a conciliatory pat on the shoulder, "I'm sorry."

"I wish he wasn't so rich. He doesn't belong in this circle." With an added huff, Blair thought back on what she had seen just minutes ago. Such a vulgar display at a party—in broad daylight! And then how he had spoken to her. How dare he. There was no doubt his reputation preceded him. The parties, the drinking, the scandalizing behavior, that's all Chuck Bass was and represented. How he managed to attend their school was beyond Blair's powers of imagination. Nothing about him suggested any sort of academic.

Serena was glancing over Blair's shoulder and Blair turned to follow her gaze. Serena was eyeing the topic of their conversation. Today, the Bass had arrived at the van der Woodsen's in white linen trousers, a perfect pink dress shirt, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and a paisley pink cravat tucked into the neckline of the shirt. And that was to say nothing of how he _looked_ in the clothes.

Serena was smiling and shook her head a little, "I suppose you're right, but black sheep or no, he is stunning to look at."

"Ew!" Blair then smacked Serena in the arm, "No. He's lazy, and wasteful, and so…so… Abhorrent!"

Serena's smile burst into laughter, "My, aren't we being polite."

Blair frowned, but it was a petulant one she only shared with her best friend.

Recollecting herself, Serena said, "We need people like him in these stuffy circles. He keeps things interesting."

"Interesting?" Blair put her hands on her hips, "That is your defense? I like my interesting in book, and art, _not_ in a roller coaster of emotions in my personal life."

"Oh?" Serena put her on hips on her hands, mimicking her friend, and tilted her head in challenge, "This from the girl who has read Pride & Prejudice _how_ many times? You'd fall for a Darcy, not a Bingley, no matter what you like to think. You are way too smart to fall for sweet and boring. You'll fall for a man who is devastatingly handsome, smart, witty, and can make your blood boil with passion because," Serena now pointed a long elegant finger, "He _gets_ you."

"You've been reading your mother's romance novels aga-"

Serena interjected. "He will see right." She poked Blair in the shoulder. "Through." Another poke. "You." Poke.

Blair flipped her hair over her shoulder. "I reject your character analysis on the basis of experience. It is all pure conjecture." Blair returned Serena's poking, "As if we're fully formed at the age of fifteen!"

"Well," Serena hooked her arm with her friends as they turned to rejoin the crowd on the terrace. She leaned in to continue as the spotted Serena's mother holding court, "As long as we don't turn into our mothers, I think we'll be quite happy."

The pair walked past Chuck and Blair refused to glance at him, raising her head a little higher and laughing with her friend, to make a point that she was ignoring his existence.

* * *

The remaining days of summer passed and Blair was pulled back to the Upper East Side with the rest of her classmates. The priority upon returning to the city after a summer in the Hamptons was catching up on the extensive shopping they had missed. Serena had allowed Blair the enjoyment of shopping for accessories first: coats, shoes, handbags, sunglasses, and all the other little pieces that added that extra touch.

In exchange however, today, Serena was dragging Blair through the luxurious room full lingerie at Bergdorf's. Serena flitted from one beautiful piece to another, chasing after all the pretty things that struck her fancy. Blair on the other hand, meticulously combed through one section before beginning the next with great consideration. Her progress was slow, while in no time at all Serena's arms were full of silk and lace.

Serena called over her shoulder as she dashed toward the other end of the room, "See you in the changing rooms?"

Blair sighed, though she had a tiny smile at her bubbly friend's energy, looking back down at the item she had been considering. Lifting it up to the light, it was a sumptuous, deep blue balconette bra, with a matching thong and garter belt. Lingerie made Blair nervous. It was sex, and sex—being sexy, that wasn't who Blair was. _This_ gorgeous set wasn't who she was. But it was seductive and she couldn't help but wonder if she had the curves to pull such a piece off?

"Very well done, Waldorf. Try it on for me?"

Blair stiffened in an instant. That voice, even the way his breath caressed her ear. She hissed through her teeth, "Bass."

His fingers pulled her hair back over her shoulder, she could feel the heat of his hand, but he did not touch her. "I did ask nicely."

Blair's mind was blank. She forced herself to focus on her breathing, because her chest felt tight. What did his touch feel like? The force of his presence behind her once more was so alluring, she wondered if he were to touch her, would it burn her skin? Would it leave a mark?

"B!"

Serena stood in the doorway to the dressing room, hands on her hips, wearing a silky pale pink chemise. And nothing else.

The reality of a furious, lingerie-clad, Serena snapped Blair back. Blair was standing in the middle of Bergdorf's lingerie department with Chuck Bass standing much too close to her; a modern day portrait of Lucifer out to steal another soul. Blair dropped the pretty lingerie and rushed back to her friend, chasing her back into the dressing rooms before some random pervert or paparazzi (same thing?) caught sight of Serena.

They didn't see Chuck laugh and pick up the discarded lingerie. Honestly speaking, like a public dressing room could keep Chuck Bass away.

* * *

Blair arrived home that evening, a satisfied sense of exhaustion from another day of shopping. Stepping into her room, all she wanted to do was faint straight away onto her bed. But that was not to be.

There was a box on her bed.

From Bergdorf's, perfectly tied with a bow, pale ecru card tucked underneath.

Warily, Blair eyed the package, but slipped the card out to see who had sent it.

_Please?_

No name. Nothing else. Just _please_?

Annoyed, Blair pulled the bow free and opened the box. There, nestled in tissue paper, was the sexy blue lingerie she had flirted with trying on earlier. Only one person had seen her look at it.

Her skin flushed hot. _No one_ had ever bought her such an item before. So intimate, so unquestionably sexy.

An overwhelming rush of emotions flooded her. She couldn't process how it made her feel.

Flattered? Please, she knew better.

Insulted? No, but why didn't she?

Excited?

Oh. That was bad.

The thought of wearing it for him ran away with her. She fingered the silky smooth fabric and wondered what his fingertips would feel like on her naked skin. If merely standing behind her were so disruptive, being so close to a man like Chuck would have to be simply intoxicating.

It wouldn't be awkward with him. Losing her… Her first time. He knew how to touch a woman. She'd heard stories, from Serena, and her peers, about how terrible and disappointing first times could be. But she'd also heard how else sex could be. With Chuck, even her first time would be immensely gratifying, and the feel of him would be…

Bad.

This was bad.

Blair dropped the lingerie back into its box, her mind rebelling against the wash of hormones. Fantasizing? About _Chuck Bass_?Never again!

Thoroughly disgusted, she closed the box and shoved it deep underneath her bed.

Out of sight, out of mind. Right?

* * *

AN: Endless love and gratitude to my beta Noirreigne, you're the best!  
Chapter titles, for a spot of fun, are being borrowed from the titles other Fanfics. Missy06's The Garden, for this chapter. No longer available on this site, the majority of the story has been recovered and archived on GossipFic -dot- net.  
Story title taken from the song L'Amour Toujours , or I'll Fly With You, by the Italian DJ Gigi D'Agostino.  
As I own nothing, check out the music, the stories, and the books/show Gossip Girl.


	2. Falling Towards Grace

Falling Towards Grace

It was a beautiful autumn day. Sadly for Chuck, it was dampened by being the first day back to school. There was one consolation, however, and it was waiting for him at the far end of the girls' lockers. Being Chuck Bass, all of the girls turned as he gave them the rare treat of walking down their hallway. Every girl had one of two reactions: blushing and looking away, or giving him a _very_ friendly smile. He managed a few nods in recognition, but there was only one plaid skirt in this hallway he wanted to get under today.

That curtain of dark brown hair, tucked under a red headband, and the heels she was wearing only increased his desire to pin her to the wall and grab her ass. If the lingerie had done its job, that could be them later today. Blair was focused on organizing everything in her locker, so he leaned against the locker next to hers. "How did you like my gift?"

Annoyingly, she didn't miss a beat. "Your gift?" She turned to him and gave him a saccharine smile, "I wish you could have seen it. I've never seen something go up in flames quite like that before."

Chuck dropped his confident smirk, "I don't spend so much just for fun you know."

Unsympathetic, Blair kept smiling, "Oh, I'm sure you've paid _much_ more than that before."

"You're right. Virgins are so expensive." That finally wiped the smile off of her face. She might even been blushing under her makeup. "The uptight ones usually cost a little bit less though."

She gave him an icy glare as she forcefully shut her locker and walked off to her first class. He was pretty sure she was swaying her hips a little bit extra, just for him.

* * *

Classes were boring and even Nate's chatter couldn't distract Chuck from thinking about what Blair had said. Irritated with himself, Chuck needed to know if she'd really destroyed his gift. Yet he was already putting more effort into seducing Blair Waldorf than he had ever done before. He tried to push his curiosity aside throughout the day, even daring to focus on what the teachers were saying.

It was no good.

Who sets expensive lingerie on fire? He had to find out and there was only one way to do it.

Skipping last period, Chuck walked the few blocks to Blair's building. He gave the doorman a very healthy 'tip' and learned the maid had just left and the penthouse was empty. While Chuck had been here on the odd occasion for parties, he enjoyed having it all to himself. He walked through the living room and pondered what surfaces were best to have sex on. In the dining room, he wondered which of the seats Blair sat at, and having a rare moment, he imagined what it would be like to sit here with her and eat breakfast.

But enough dawdling. Time to find her bedroom. At the top of the stairs, her bedroom door was wide open, the sunlight spilling into the hallway. The walls were blue, but something about the space made it feel light and airy. He touched the things on her vanity and smelled her perfume. That scent; it brought him back to that afternoon in the Hamptons. He admired the collection of finery in her walk-in closet before searching for her lingerie drawer.

His discovery was a bit dismaying; all her lingerie was quite plain, as if to match her virginal innocence. The blue lingerie would have stuck out like a sore thumb in this sea of white and pale pastels. She really had burned it, hadn't she?

Sighing to himself, he went back into her bedroom. Where else might it be? His hand drifted over the soft silky duvet on her bed as he looked around. _The bed_. How silly would that be?

Kneeling down, Chuck reached under her bed. His hand bumped against a box and he pulled it out.

Bergdorf's.

Eager to discover the truth, he threw the lid off.

Just tissue paper.

So where was the lingerie?

Frustrated, he closed the boxed and shoved it back under her bed. He thought he heard something as he did so.

No, wait, he did hear something—someone. On the stairs. Shit. His only hope for hiding was inside of Blair's walk-in closet, though it had no door. May the shadows help him for once.

He heard Blair enter her room and drop her bag. Dropping to his knees, he risked peeking out to see where she was. Blair had stretched out on her bed, her fingers working the row of buttons on her blouse. Chuck couldn't believe his good fortune; he was going to get to see her take her shirt off and all he had to do was stay quiet.

When her blouse had fallen away, the smile that curled on his mouth was worth three times what he paid for that lingerie. Because he had found it.

Currently cupping her delectable breasts, her skin somehow still lightly sun-kissed from the summer though they had left the Hamptons weeks ago. Chuck licked his lips, anticipating what it would feel like to lick and suck and taste her.

Blair had placed her hands over her eyes and he wondered what was going through her overly sharp mind. She shook her head, seemingly in a sign of surrender because her hands began to travel downwards. One of her hands slid inside the cup of her bra, teasing him with a glimpse of her pretty pink nipple, while her other hand. Oh, her glorious other hand moved past her stomach, over her prissy plaid skirt and then…underneath.

There was a God in heaven and he clearly loved Chuck Bass.

Or not.

He heard her mutter something unintelligible before removing her hands from their ministrations and abruptly left her bed.

The universe was clearly toying with him, for standing at the end of her bed, she took off her skirt, letting it drop to the floor before shrugging out of her blouse. There had been nothing of the lingerie stowed away in her lingerie drawer or the box under her bed because she was wearing _all_ of it: the bra, the thong, and the garter belt, clipped into her white thigh-highs.

Chuck couldn't remember the last time he'd had a hard-on that ached this badly. Her ass was perfectly round, the blue color was deep against the warmth of her skin tone, and she filled out those little half-cups so perfectly he hated the fabric from keeping her breasts from spilling out and consequently hiding those perfect globes from view.

Even worse than his roaming thoughts was Blair playing in front of her full-length mirror. It was like her own private modeling shoot as she pulled her hair up, then shook it out, made cute faces, and serious ones, and struck a few pin-up worthy poses. It was while holding one of these tempting poses that Chuck nearly had a heart attack.

"So, what do you think, Chuck? After all, you did ask nicely."

_What?_

There was no way she could know-

Blair beamed a killer smile at her mirror and winked. Then she dropped the whole act and glowered at her reflection. "This is… This is silly! He's _just_ a boy."

She'd crossed her arms over her chest, her hands rubbing in a soothing motion over her skin. He could see on her face she was deep in thought, what was she deciding? Was she thinking of him?

She released a sigh and fell back onto her bed. Much to Chuck's chagrin and torment, she continued what she had barely begun before. One hand kneading her breast while the other slipped between her parted thighs. He could see the rocking motion of her hand as her fingers rose up and down, in and out.

Despite his frequent emissions, Chuck swore he had blue balls as he watched her.

She made the most wonderful little sounds as she pursued her pleasure; he wanted to hear those in his dreams tonight—the wondrous sweetness of a demur girl performing a sinful act.

Then her voice caught and her back arched slightly, her hips jolting.

"Oh.

Chuck!"

How he did not spontaneously come in his pants, he would never know. But the whole scene only grew more entertaining when her eyes flew open in response and she covered her mouth. Clearly, that was not the reaction she had been expecting from her orgasm.

"Ugh, now I definitely need a shower." Blair kicked her feet over the bed and walked to her bathroom, closing the door.

A few minutes later, Chuck slipped out of her bedroom, undetected, and with an aptly satisfied smirk on his face.

Blair enjoyed the remainder of her week free of any encounters of the Bassian kind. Clearly her little lie about the lingerie had crushed his Casanova-esque intentions towards her. Lying in her bed Saturday in said lingerie, she decided she was more than okay with his retreat.

This foray into flirtation and potential recklessness was enough. She'd enjoy his memento of the moment she had stepped outside of Serena's golden light and held the attention of a playboy, if only for a few days.

After a relaxing morning of Audrey, croissants, and coffee with her best friend, Blair returned home ready to prepare for the week ahead of her. Except, Chuck Bass decided to add himself to her agenda quite suddenly. Another illicit Bergdorf's box sat, waiting for her on her bed. A mix of nervousness and exhasperation, she hastily pulled the accompanying card from the box.

_You know you want to._

She figured it was like ripping off a Band-Aid, so she threw the lid open. It was love at first sight. She couldn't help herself. Blair reached out and picked up the sweetest looking bra, soft white, with colorful small flowers embroidered on it. Instead of a thong complimenting it, she found an equally sweet looking pair of briefs done with the same tiny flowers.

Shedding her outfit, Blair put on her newest treat and discovered its secret. Basstard indeed. She didn't want to think the ensemble was meant to suggest anything about her own character, but the lingerie had looked so sweet in the box and was so…devious, when worn. The bra pushed up her breasts to an indelicate extreme and the cute briefs looked fine at the front, but when she saw herself in profile, the back was a little short. As in it allowed the roundness of her backside to peek out in a very provocative manner. Pulling her hair up, she tried once more to strike a sexy pose. The image in the mirror still fell flat in her eyes. It felt silly and stupid and uncomfortable. At the same time, she did like what she saw, even if it scared her and she couldn't take the idea of being sexy seriously.

* * *

Blair was grateful when Monday passed without incident and Tuesday followed suit. By Wednesday she was feeling safe again. Until another Bergdorf's box waited for her on her bed after school. This time she sat at her desk at stared at the box, waiting to see if it'd just disappear or…anything. But it sat there, like Pandora's freaking box. With a growl of frustration she finally stood and pulled the card off of the box.

_I promise I'll be very, very good._

Oh, she was sure he would be. That didn't mean she had to let him. The thought crossed her mind that she could just toss the box away and rid herself of the temptation to uncover what he had purchased her this time. But she couldn't. He had amazing taste and she liked wearing the pieces he sent her. It made her feel special, even though she knew better.

With a defeated sigh, Blair finally opened the box. Her breath failed to return for a moment. This wasn't pretty. It certainly wasn't cute. It was temptation woven into a fabric form, all red, black, and silver, stretched over boning. She had never seen a corset like this and he'd even sent a pair of sheer black stocking to match. It was dangerous but mesmerizing and Blair was powerless to its pull.

Her pristine school uniform fell to the floor and she slid on only what he sent: corset and stockings. The only touches she added were a coat of siren red lipstick and a pair of black "come fuck me heels" Serena had dared her to buy.

Returning to her mirror, Blair felt her mouth go dry. Who was that in the mirror? It was not the same girl she had seen all the times before. A woman stood in the mirror. The kind of woman who could flirt and men would want to take home and ravish. She stared at her reflection for a while in shock before it scared her.

Slumping onto her vanity's stool, Blair kicked off the shoes and smeared the lipstick from her mouth. These things Chuck was making her think and feel were overwhelming and she didn't want them. Not for all the lingerie in the world. Was this what he did to the women he pursued? Wore them down with pretty things until they were helpless to his charms?

Frustration rose and Blair stripped herself of his temptation, shoving it to the very back of her lingerie drawer. She had important things to deal with. She would finish this _thing_ with Chuck later.

* * *

After thoughtfully weighing her safest options in approaching Chuck, Blair decided the janitor's closet next to his locker, right before lunch was best. She wouldn't be seen with him and she wouldn't be late to any classes. It was perfect.

Peeking around the closet door, she waited for him to put his books away and close his locker. Then she made her move. She jerked the door open and grabbed his arm, pulling him inside before shoving the door shut. With her back up against one of the shelving units in the closet she realized her mistake.

It was much too small in here for two people. There was almost no room between them. She could smell his cologne, heady, with a touch of spice, and feel the heat emanating from him. Blair refused to look at anything except his tie.

_This was dangerous. _

She spit her demands out. "Stop sending me stuff."

Chuck placed his hands on her hips, "Stuff? What stuff?"

With a huff, Blair found the strength to look up into his eyes, "You know what stuff!"

His face appeared all innocent as he slightly shook his head in confusion. God, he was going to make her say it. She swallowed her anxiety. "All of the lingerie."

Lifting one hand from where its heat was burning through her skirt, Chuck reached up and easily parted the one button that kept Blair's open blouse from being _too_ open.

And from exposing the pretty white push-up bra underneath with it's tiny colored flowers.

"You mean like this one?"

Blair's hands few up to grasp her blouse closed and she glared at him. She was angry but also horribly embarrassed too. He knew her secret and she didn't like how…_exposed_ he had just made her. She wanted to wear the beautiful things he had sent her and now he knew that. She could only imagine how cruelly he would tease h-

His mouth was on hers, his hands snaking around her waist as he pressed her fully back into the shelving unit.

Her breath was gone, taking her mind with it. The heat of his whole body enveloped her and she could taste the bite of her raspberry lip-gloss on his mouth. Pressing her mouth back against his, Blair refused to be passive and merely receive.

Chuck approved, his hands drifting down over her ass, pressing her hips to his. A moan of shocking pleasure escaped from Blair as she registered the hardness of his arousal. His hands dropped further down, underneath her skirt. His fingertips stroked the bit of her ass that peeked out from the briefs, his touch all fire and electricity. Wetness flooded between her thighs and Blair took a shocked, shaky breath from beneath his kiss.

Too much.

What was she doing!?

"No!" Blair shoved against him, grabbing the door handle and bolting as Chuck stumbled back away from her.

She went straight to the nearest restroom and threw cold water on her very hot, pink, cheeks. Blair couldn't believe how mussed she appeared in the mirror. Her hands trembling, she managed to reclose her blouse. That had been so…horrifying.

And exciting.

Oh God.

* * *

When Blair returned home from school that afternoon, she stood frozen in her doorway. A very tiny box lay in the center of her bed. It had no note and she couldn't imagine what he could send her in such a very tiny box.

Preemptively sitting on her bed, Blair surrendered her curiosity and opened the long, skinny box.

A tube of raspberry lip-gloss.

Blair fell back onto her bed and touched her mouth, recalling his heat and touch, unsure what she felt.

Even worse, she didn't know what might come next.

AN: Love and affection to Camii, uncorazonquebrado, for beta reading this chapter!  
This chapter title is taken from the fabulous Noirreigne's fanfic of the same name.  
Chapters 1 and 2 "refreshed" June 2014.


	3. Heaven in Your Embrace

Heaven in Your Embrace

The weekend at last, the elevator lifted Blair to the van der Woodsen's penthouse. Coffee, croissants, and Funny Face in hand, she was beyond happy and excited to be relaxing with her best friend. Entering the penthouse, she slipped off her heels, noticing that no one seemed to be about. Serena must already be in her room. Blair passed the guest bedroom, pausing when she noticed the door was ajar. Curious, she peeked around the door, when suddenly her face flushed and her stomach dropped.

Blair could not even begin to guess what Chuck Bass was doing at the van der Woodsen's, but she did not need anyone to tell her what he was _doing_ lying naked in the guest bedroom. He was already stroking himself quickly and Blair swallowed hard at the dimensions of him. She dragged her eyes up to his face. His eyes were closed, brow furrowed as he worked himself. His naked form was gorgeous, and Blair felt hot remembering how he had held her, touched her, kissed her, but a few days ago. Chuck panted, gritting his teeth, and his entire body shuddered as he came. Blair knew not how she kept the coffees from dropping to the floor when he groaned and cried out _her_ name.

Quietly panicking, she tiptoed back to the elevator and pressed the button. _What if he finds me here!_ _And where is Serena? He was thinking of…me?_

Chuck sighed as he removed himself from the bed to take a quick shower. He had woken up with an astounding case of morning wood. He knew it was _her_ lips he had dreamt about, those fiery brown eyes, and the sweet yet sexy bra pushing her supple white breasts out of her blouse. Reaching the shower, he turned the water on cold.

Waiting for the elevator seemed to stretch on forever. _What was Chuck doing here? He was fantasizing- about me?_ Blair could not process the implications. Chuck wanted _her_, out of all the women he has had, could have, he was fantasizing about her? That he bothered thinking of her at all was still beyond her imagination despite his attentions. But Blair was curious- she wanted to know more. When the ding of the elevator finally sounded, she had decided to play it cool instead of retreating.

Removing her shoes a second time, setting everything on the kitchen counter, she called out, "Serena! I'm here!"

She covered half the distance of the living room before Chuck emerged from the guest room. In a towel. His hair was wet and he was smirking, like always. He sauntered towards her.

"Good morning, Blair."

"It was until now." She nipped in reply. "What are you doing here?" Chuck toyed with the top edge of the towel, watching Blair's eyes follow the movement. "Bart and Lily had lunch yesterday. With Bart away on business this weekend, Lily was rather insistent I not stay at the hotel alone. So here I am, experiencing a 'real' home environment." He took a step towards her. She took a step back. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"Serena."

He was taking another step towards her, and she had already bumped into the sofa. She could see a few water droplets on his skin, and watched the rise and fall of his toned chest as he moved closer, so close.

"She left half an hour ago. Some fashion crisis with Lily.""

Chuck stood over her, reaching out to finger a strand of her hair.

"I'm sure I could find a way to keep us… occupied, until she returns."

Blair looked up and gazed into his eyes, instantly realizing her mistake. Gold and hazel twinkled in their depths, pulling her in. His smirk was much more of a proper smile now.

"Chuck, you can't…"

He seized upon her lips, stopping her mouth. Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her close, pressing her softness into his hardness. Blair sighed as he tangled his fingers in her hair, tilting her head, kissing her harder. He licked her pert lips, coaxing them open. Her fingers pressed into his chest and she rose up on her tiptoes, opening her mouth to him. Neither of them heard the elevator doors open.

"Oh my god, Blair!" Serena shrieked.

Chuck released Blair all at once, leaving her breathless and weak. Her legs gave out instantly and she sat atop the back of the sofa, bewildered. She was in shock from the kiss— its power and pleasure, and wishing it had not ended quite so soon.

"Hey Serena." Chuck acted the innocent, though he was wearing nothing except a towel.

"Don't 'hey Serena' me!" Serena pushed him into the guest room like an unwanted object before she turned to Blair, who was still dazed on the sofa. Grabbing the coffees and bag of goodies out of the kitchen, Serena proceeded to prod her from the sofa to her bedroom. Closing the door, because heaven forbid Chuck try to eavesdrop, she turned to her best friend, who had taken her coffee and was now sipping it with mental abandon.

"Well?"

Blair looked up with big brown eyes at her friend. "I don't know."

Serena dropped down on the bed next to her. "You… don't know? Honestly? How do you not _know_? I just walked in on Chuck Bass, in nothing but a towel, with his hands all over you and his tongue down your throat. So, what am I missing here?" Blair turned pink as Serena described what she had witnessed. "I… He…" she exhaled slowly, "He's kind of been after me since that day at Bergdorf's. He…he kissed me the other day." Blair's voice dropped below a whisper, "My first kiss…"

Serena was even more stunned. "Your first kiss. With Chuck Bass? I… Well," she shifted, absorbing the information. "Did you like it? Was it good? He wasn't being awful to you, was he? Because I'll go over there right now…"

Blair smiled, "No, no, he wasn't awful— it wasn't awful. It's…complicated, honestly. I don't understand."

She leaned against Serena, who promptly put her arm around Blair. "Why is Chuck here exactly?"

"Mom decided the poor heir to the Bass Empire needed to spend time with a real family," Serena laughed at that, "and since Bart's away with work this weekend, I have Chuck Bass down the hall. I have to say, it's kind of nice having someone else around. Even if it's Chuck!"

Serena looked at Blair with sisterly concern, "And you know… I'm pretty good at understanding complicated." she offered.

"There's this attraction, but… but we've never really talked." Blair looked exasperated as she spoke, "He toys with me, yet…" She paused and thought of what she had just seen, and felt.

"I think there might be more going on in his head, too. It's all so confusing. Can we watch the movie now?" She gave Serena the 'pretty please' look.

Serena sighed, a playful rolling of her eyes, before she pushed play.

* * *

During the movie, Serena slipped out to get something to drink from the kitchen. Chuck, thankfully clothed, leaned against the counter drinking a glass of scotch.

"Isn't it a bit early?"

"It's been a long morning." He replied before taking a drink and eying the blonde. "No, it hasn't." She retorted, pouring a glass of juice.

"Depends on your definition of long." Chuck drawled.

Setting the juice aside, Serena turned to Chuck. "Now you listen to me. She deserves far better than you, Chuck Bass or no. So I just hope you know what you are doing, because I won't stand aside and watch you mess with my best friend. Understood?" Chuck was a bit surprised by Serena's candor and simply nodded his head in reply.

Seemingly satisfied, she returned to her room.

Several minutes later, Chuck peeked around the door, watching the girls giggle and sing along with Fred Astaire as he sang "He Loves and She Loves." He could see the stars in Blair's eyes and thinking on Serena's words, he walked back to the guest room, seriously pondering what it was he was doing. Blair was fresh. He had overlooked her thus far because she was quieter, bookish, and easily out-shined by Serena.

That day at the garden party she had looked so perfectly sweet and innocent, yet there must be something deliciously dark inside her to stand there, watching him like that. Besides, he was bored, and after that little scene he saw in her bedroom, he certainly had a good chance of getting under her skirt. Mentally replaying the image of her in her bed, he was instantly aroused again. God, he wanted her.

* * *

Serena and Blair were stretched out on the bed as the film came to a close. Observing her friend as she swooned over the happy ending, Serena pondered what Blair was getting tangled in.

"B…"

"Hmm?" Blair's feet waved in the air as she lay on her stomach, smiling and fantasizing that she was Audrey at the end of the film.

Serena got straight to the issue, "Are you going to sleep with him?" The smile dropped off Blair's face and her feet fell to the bed.

"This is _Chuck Bass_- he's Don Juan, not Captain Wentworth. He doesn't do girlfriends. You know that Blair, so the only question is, are you going to sleep with him?"

"I…" Blair knew better than try and deny what Serena was saying, but she had not wanted to think about it either. She bit her lower before replying, "I like how he makes me feel, S. I'm not stupid, yet… I'm drawn to him. I'm _me_ and he's Chuck Bass, but together? I don't know what that really means."

Serena rolled onto her back and made a small steeple with her hands, thinking deeply for a time, before she at last offered. "My _expert_ opinion? Go for it."

Blair looked at her friend, wide eyed. "What!"

"Well, think about it. He's already after you, so that's a lot of energy you don't have to put into the whole game of chasing a boy. Plus, you hardly looked like you weren't enjoying yourself earlier." Serena looked at her friend at this point, who properly flushed pink at the mention. "And you're Blair Waldorf. A force to be reckoned when you choose to be."

Blair scoffed at this, "As if! All it means is polite. Good grades. There is nothing more." "No," Serena sat up and proceeded to pull Blair off the bed, towards her full-length mirror. "It means you're an intelligent woman, single-minded in her goals, with fantastic taste in clothing, and friends," Serena flashed a smile when she complimented herself, "and beautiful! Look at you, B, you're a real woman."

Blair followed her friend's gaze and looked at herself. From her bare feet to her fun little weekend dress' puffed skirt with its modest top, to the length of her chocolate curls falling over her shoulders. She pondered Serena's advice, as she stared at her own reflection. _A force to be reckoned with. A real woman._ She half imagined, half remembered the sight of herself in the red and black corset, staring back at her from the mirror. The _woman_ smirked like Chuck does, with her crimson lips, and she winked at Blair with her thick eyelashes and glimmering brown eyes, challenging her.

Blair strengthened, with Serena's confidence, but also in defiance of her own girlish weakness. "You may have a point. But I need to get back home, see you in the morning?"

The blonde nodded and smiled. "Don't forget to say goodbye to Chuck." Blair rolled her eyes. Then again, she would not want to be rude. Glancing towards the guest room, she saw that his door was fully opened. As she walked towards the room, she told herself _think seductive, alluring_.

"Hi Chuck." She looked at him with wide eyes, trying to look innocent yet playful. "I'm heading home now, but I'll see you at school tomorrow?"

She broke his reverie, which was admissible only because he had been thinking of her. Chuck had been stretched out on the bed, but now he was on his feet. He met her in the doorway. "Leaving so soon?"

"Places to go, things to do." Blair smiled, shrugged her shoulders and started towards the elevator.

Chuck pursued her, responding as she slipped her tall Louboutin's back on, his eyes traveling from her feet upwards, visually caressing her curves along the way. "I can think of places we could go. And so many things we could do…"

Blair smirked at him and his breath caught for a moment. She appeared as a shining reflection of him, beautiful with brown eyes and hair, her perfect lips _smirking_ at him. It was a promise of something more nestled deep within her beacon of light. The elevator arrived and Blair slipped inside.

Startled from his thoughts, Chuck stopped the doors from closing- from taking her away from him.

Blair had leaned back against the cool metal wall of the elevator. Chuck was upon her suddenly, possessively pinning her to the spot. Placing his hands above her shoulders, he bent down and whispered in her ear, "What's the rush? I would make it worth you time." One hand dropped down to caress the length of her neck, across her collarbone.

Blair's heart fluttered and she ached for more of his touch. She looked into his eyes, a wicked smile on her lips as she spoke, "I'm much too busy today. I guess you'll just have to make time to get to know me better later."

A challenge, a tease, a promise.

Blair tilted her head up, capturing his lips with hers. Heat flooded her entire body, and she wondered if it would always be so when they kissed?

The elevator came to a stop with a gentle swoosh. Blair slipped out from under him and through the doors before he registered the coolness of her absence. She turned back to look at his stunned face, smiling sweetly, waving as the elevator doors closed on him.

* * *

AN: Continued endless love and gratitude to Camii, uncorazonquebrado, for beta-ing once more, even through illness!  
Chapter is from Catheryne's fanfic of the same name.


	4. Let The Games Begin

Let The Games Begin

"Good morning, Miss Blair." Dorota brought her breakfast, setting it on the nightstand.

"These come for you this morning."

Blair sighed. It was Monday. She pulled the eye mask away and turned to see what Dorota was talking about. Her cheeks flushed and she fought the smile trying to break across her face. An arrangement of perfect white peonies sat on her breakfast tray, the tips of the petals were a soft pink.

"Miss Blair have a boyfriend?" Dorota pried, watching the young girl's face. Blair popped a strawberry into her mouth and glowered at the maid. Seeing that an envelope accompanied the flowers, she pulled it from the tray. "Hardly, Dorota. If that's all, I will be eating my breakfast now."

Dorota gave Blair a good look before she turned and left the room. Snuggling down in bed, Blair pulled the envelope open. Seeing the initials CB engraved at the top of the card, she squealed for half a second before stopping herself. As if she could not have guessed the flowers were from him. Blair told herself to get control, and pulled out the note. Chuck's handwriting was surprisingly neat and she grew warm knowing his hands had held this piece of paper. Oh, those hands.

_Whatever will you wear under your uniform today?  
__Much like these peonies, I know how to make you flush pink.  
__See you at school.  
__xx_

Oh my. Blair put the note down and stared at it, her cheeks hot and pink. Yet when she did go to dress, she could not help herself. Pulling the blue lingerie out, she glanced at the corset he had bought her. She made a small laugh and shook her head, not believing she could really _ever_ wear it. Dressing, she fastened her stockings and peered at herself in the mirror as she wrapped the plaid skirt around her waist. Not yet sixteen, she was pleased, and still a little scared, of the reflection she saw. She felt as though she was seeing herself through Chuck's eyes and could not help thinking she was a little pretty, and more than a bit attractive. Chuck wanted her, and she wanted him to want her. Buttoning her blouse over the silk camisole hiding the brilliant blue balconette, she felt very afraid. These thoughts and feelings were so alien and she did not know what she was doing. Could she trust him? Did she care if she ended up just another check on his list of conquests?

Chuck was leaning against his long black limo as she stepped out of her building.

"Care for a ride?"

"Isn't it a little early?" Blair lifted an eyebrow at him and inwardly wondered why her mind was _always_ in the gutter around him.

"Not if _you_ are offering." He looked her over as he spoke.

"I am not getting in that limo! I've heard stories." Blair turned away from him and began the short trek to school as though Chuck was not there.

"Hey!" He started after her and seized her arm. "I was just taking you up on your offer." Blair whirled as he held on to her arm, "What offer?"

"To make the time to know you better."

She felt the heat of his hand even through her blazer. His words hummed in her ears and she was lost for a response. Blair did not think he had been listening, nevertheless that he might take her suggestion seriously.

"If you won't take the limo, at least let me walk you to school." Chuck retrieved his things from the limo and sent it away. He offered his arm to her, and still rather dazed, she wrapped her arm in his.

Blair struggled with the fact that Chuck Bass was being…nice to her. Chuck saw nothing but bewilderment on her beautiful face. This was unacceptable and he wondered how to make her relax. He thought perhaps talking about school would pull her from her thoughts.

"So, we're reading Shakespeare in English class."

Blair's manners saved her from her shock. Years of her mother's pestering paying off. "Oh, what play?"

"Much Ado About Nothing." Chuck scoffed.

"You're not enjoy it?" Blair imagined out of all of Shakespeare, Chuck would enjoy Much Ado.

"It's Shakespeare."

"But all the flirting, wittiness, sex, and scheming do nothing for you?" Blair looked at him earnestly.

"Are we talking about the same play?"

"Are you even _reading_ the play? Can you not even be bothered to watch the movie?" Blair shook her head, and playfully smacked his arm with her free hand. She teased him, proclaiming, "For shame, Chuck Bass, for shame!"

"Maybe…" He looked down on her with those deep golden-flecked eyes. "I could get through the movie if _you_ watched it with me?"

They were approaching the school and Chuck realized he was loath to part from her. It was comfortable, being like this, playing and talking as they were. Blair truly was pretty when he looked on her without thinking about how he wanted to get under her skirt. _Oops, there goes that_.

"I suppose…it is hard to pass up a Ken Branagh film. I have a copy. The cast is beyond stunning, and the music! Let's say 7 o'clock? And I expect you to bribe me with something pretty."

Blair was feeling like herself again. They had reached the school and self conscious of her arm in his, she pulled away from him. Before she had fully extracted herself, he snatched her hand in his.

What Chuck truly wanted to do was kiss her senseless, damn the administrators and their classmates. But he settled on pressing his lips against her delicate white fingers as he looked up, deep into her eyes. He watched Blair turn pink as she stared back. When he finally released her hand, she fled to the safety of the school and her friends.

Chuck smiled— a real smile. It was a wonderful morning, even if it was tame for Chuck Bass. Today was going to be an enjoyable day.

* * *

Serena bounced up the steps in front of the Met, lunch in hand, towards her dark haired friend. She plopped down next to Blair and leaned over, hugging the other girl.

"People are talking! I'm so proud of you."

Pulling back, she noticed that Blair was a little pale and looked uncomfortable.

"What's wrong?"

"Why are they talking? There is nothing to talk about!" Blair snapped, a dour expression on her face.

Serena rolled her eyes, "People talk, it's what they do. You and Chuck? Yeah, people are going to comment on that. But he likes you! Everyone says the way he kissed your hand this morning was hot."

Serena began gushing again, hugging her friend a second time. "I think we should go out to celebrate! A little shopping, dinner, a few drinks?"

Blair tried to not look too sheepish, "Sorry, S. I can't."

Not one to be put off so easily, Serena berated her friend. "Oh come on, whatever paper or assignment it is you have to work on can wait. You've ensnared Chuck Bass!"

Blair scoffed her shoe against the step, staring at her feet, unable to look at her golden friend. "I sort of made other plans… with someone else."

This was sad, if she could not be straightforward with her best friend, what kind of a start was this? All this attention was making her even more incredibly shy.

Serena had an incredulous yet happy smile on her face. "Nu uh. You're seeing Chuck tonight! Oh my God, I didn't think he was that good. He must have it bad."

Blair was turning pink. "We're just going to watch a movie…for school. He doesn't like English class at the moment."

"Aw, you're going to tutor him, how cute. Are you going to smack him around with a ruler?" Serena was practically laughing at the image she was painting. "And if that isn't one of the oldest excuses in the book."

Blair wrinkled her nose at her friend and poked at her. "So supportive, aren't you? Well now you're helping me pick out an outfit after school, so I can focus on my school work until he comes over!"

* * *

A few minutes before seven, Blair fidgeted with the deep green dress Serena picked out for her. She stood near the top of the stairs, wondering what you do when waiting for a boy? Should she wait in the foyer? Or sit in the living room? It was all too vexing!

The sound of the elevator arriving rang forth. She descended the stairs and Chuck met her at the bottom of the staircase in a few long strides. He looked up at her and taking her hand, he kissed it like he had not twelve hours ago. Wordlessly, he followed her back up the stairs to her room.

Once inside, he proffered a brown and white stripped box. "Your bribe, as promised." She smiled at him. "Is it safe to open in your presence?"

"I was rather counting on it." He countered, giving her a long look.

"Hm, I suppose it can be no worse than the other things you have given me?" She queried.

"Worse? And here I thought you were quite enjoying them."

Blair shook her head at his response and opened the box. A fine sheer white garment lie within and she reached out to touch it, to pull it from the box. Yet there was something more inside the fabric. Unfolding it, she found a copy of Much Ado About Nothing on DVD. Confused, she looked closer, and saw the names of the cast scribbled across the cover. Her jaw promptly dropped.

Chuck reached over now and pulled the garment— a long robe, from the box. "And here you neglect your new pretty thing. I thought it might go well with the… other gifts? This however," he pulled the DVD from her hands, "was to prove I can listen." He started the movie and went to lie on her bed, stretching out his long body. Propping up on his elbows and looking up at a still mildly stunned Blair. "So… this is your bed?"

She shot him a hard look. "We're doing nothing but watching the movie, do you understand?"

He merely shook his head as she lay down, mirroring him on the other side of the bed. Chuck enjoyed watching the film with her; she clearly was delighted by it. Blair would prod him anytime he would look over at her, forcing his attention back to the film. During Benedick's soliloquy, he caught her mouthing the words. Chuck smiled watching her. She was happy, here with him in this moment, and it made something deep inside him stir.

Soon the drama of the story unfolded and all the pieces began to fall into place. Blair seemed to perk up. "Oh here, this part is fantastic!"

Feeling playful, Blair sat up from the bed, and started reciting along with her favorite line:

Benedick: Tell me, for which of my bad parts didst thou first fall in love?

Beatrice: For them all together, which maintain such a politic a state of evil that they will not admit any good to intermingle with them.

Chuck sat up now, and watching her rather than the movie. Blair continued on, smiling at him, acting along and asking:

Beatrice: But for which of my good parts did you first suffer love for me?

Chuck stole the next line from her:

Benedick: Suffer love! A good epithet! I do suffer love indeed, for I love thee against my will.

Blair took Beatrice's response, playing along: In spite of your heart, I think; alas poor heart! If you spite it for my sake, I will spite it for yours; for I could never love that which my friend hates.

Chuck took Blair's hand in his and replied: Thou and I are too wise to woo peaceably. His touch shocked her; his _lines_ shocked her, and his look… It felt as though the room had dropped away and she existed only in the light of his eyes.

"You know the play."

Chuck shrugged, "A little."

"Then why?" Blair whispered.

"To be near you. To feel you oh, so close to me." Her hand was still in his and he used it to pull her into his arms as they knelt upon the bed.

Chuck's mouth was hot upon hers and Blair lost herself in his embrace. He moved to hold her face in his hands as he kissed her, the intensity of it made all thought flee her mind. She tugged on his shirt, her hands finding their way to touch the lean muscled body underneath. His hands had moved from her face down, down, until they were under her dress, grabbing her ass, pressing her body against his. His long fingers flexed, only just briefly, barely, touching her _there_, where it was so hot, so wet.

Blair's mind reeled as a result and she closed up instantly. With a hard pant, she pushed Chuck away and scrambled to her feet. Her eyes were hot with determination. "No! I will not be another on your list of names- a little asterisk marking me as another virgin you deflowered."

He stood and met her gaze, momentarily touching her chin. "You _want_ me." "You want _me_."

Chuck leaned in close, his face, his mouth, but a whisper away from her, "You are going to beg, Blair Waldorf, for me to not just take your virginity, but to fuck you senseless and give you the greatest pleasure you will ever experience."

Her eyes stared back deep into those pools of black, hazel, and gold. Her mind spun, looking for a way to shake him. Setting her jaw, she flared her nostrils. "And you, Chuck Bass, will love me…some day."

Their fears stretched before them. Chuck was startled by her threat. As though Chuck Bass could love, or knew what love was. But, he was certainly intrigued as he stared into Blair's fiery brown eyes.

They were at an impasse. However, the game had been set. But before Blair could move away from him, she was in his warm embrace once more and his lips softly touched hers. The entire length of his body pressed against her, his touch, his being, was a flame, and she caught fire. Desire thrummed deep inside and she ached to be one with him.

He held her tight in his arms— at first to torment her with his body, but then he realized how perfectly she fit him. His lips brushed against hers so gently— he did this to tease her with his mouth, but he felt it again, something beginning to flutter inside. Chuck pulled away as abruptly he had begun. Startled by his thoughts, his feelings, he turned, and left. Blair opened her eyes slowly, catching the briefest glimpse of him as he left her standing there, feeling stunned, confused, and quite hot and bothered.

* * *

AN: Love and affection to Camii (uncorazonquebrado) for beta reading this chapter!

Special love and shout outs to Sabrina (WhiteRabbit at GossipGirlsss) and Georgia (CheeryFan) for helping me get this chapter in shape, and adjust my attitude.

Chapter title taken from the story of the same name by SN-Mayhem.


	5. Into The Darkness

Chapter Five:

Into The Darkness

After that night, Blair buried herself in work; it was the best and only distraction she knew. She felt so _silly_ after that night with Chuck; she did not want to think about it. Where had such an idea even come from? Chuck Bass loving Blair Waldorf?

She approached her locker at the end of the day; she had made it through Thursday. Pulling it open, a black envelope fell forward, fluttering to the ground. She was surprised, and for the flash of a moment she wanted to stomp on it- there was only one person who left her notes. But Chuck's pull was undeniable and she was learning that, at least with the little things, it was useless to torment her curiosity.

Sighing, she lifted the envelope and pulled it open. A black linen card, no 'CB' at the top, just silver metallic letters gleaming off the page:

_To Thine Own Self Be True_

_Friday 11PM_

Blair tucked the note into her bag; it was one of Chuck's parties, she just knew it. She wondered what would come to pass from this first skirmish, how she should prepare? She had managed to dodge the topic of Chuck all week with Serena, but perhaps it was time for a consultation.

* * *

They were sprawled out on Blair's bed examining fashion magazines. Serena knew something was up. She had all week. "Out with it."

"Out with what?" Blair tried to feign ignorance; it did not work.

"What's going on- we're practically sisters, Blair. You can't hide from me."

She knew Serena was right, and she sighed a little, "I think we're at war."

"You and Chuck? Um, that isn't how that was suppose to work out, B." Serena quipped.

"I know, but… I freaked, and he called me out on it. So, when he said I would cave to my desire to give myself to him, I…" Blair swallowed hard at the memory of what she said to him that night.

Serena found the story enticing, and waited with baited breath to hear what Blair could have possibly threatened Chuck Bass with. "You what?"

"I told him… he would love me, some day." Blair hid her head in the pillows at how silly she sounded. What kind of stupid threat was that?

"And then what?" Serena wondered.

"Then…" Blair sat up and furrowed her brow, "Then he held me tight and kissed me so gently. It was intense… but I don't know what it meant. He left without a word after that. And now, nothing."

"Sounds rather Rolf and Liesl from the Sound of Music to me." Serena pictured Blair in Liesl's pink dress with Chuck playing Rolf the messenger boy and had to stop herself from bursting out with laugher, "You scared him! You scared Chuck Bass!"

"By saying he would fall in love with me? I just wanted to throw him off…"

"He prides himself on being a heartless playboy. You threatened him with having a heart. But you're telling me all of this for a reason aren't you? I mean it's now Thursday."

Blair got up and pulled the notecard from her bag, "I think this is for one of his parties. What do I do?"

"What do you do?" Serena looked incredulously at her best friend, "Have we met? You get sexed up and go, sweetie."

"But, things happen at his parties, S. It's dangerous on so many levels! What if I…"

"You're Blair Waldorf. You're not going to start doing heroin and have crack babies from going to a party to see Chuck Bass. You're not stupid. If this is war, this," She waved the black card in her hand, "is a battle. So let's see what we can pull together?"

* * *

Friday night. Nate and Chuck were lounging in the corner of the massive warehouse space where the party would soon be starting. A/V equipment was being set up in the center of the space as the two passed a joint between them. Nate was the first to speak, "I've been hearing things about you and Blair Waldorf. What's that about man?"

Chuck took a long drag, "I had… an interesting encounter with her over the summer. I think there is some overlooked potential there."

Nate was feeling a bit crass from his buzz, "So then you've already done her?"

"Not yet, Archibald. _Potential_, I want to have some fun with this one."

"I'm not so sure she isn't messing with _you_. Since when does Chuck Bass actually chase tail? I thought women just opened their legs to you?"

"Oh, they still do. But that gets boring after a time, my friend. I want a good game to entertain me for awhile is all."

"I just can't believe you haven't already done her."

The lights shut off. A projector flickered to life as people began to slowly stream through the door.

* * *

At 11PM, Blair exited her penthouse not knowing what to expect next. A limo awaited her, and slipping inside, it was empty. She watched as the city glided by, taking her away from the Upper East Side into a part of town she never would have had reason to visit. Coming to a stop, Blair stepped out and looked down the vacant street and at the unmarked building before her. A gentleman stood next to a door and she approached him. He eyed her and asked, "Password?"

Not missing a beat, Blair coolly responded, "To thine own self be true."

She entered, the door slammed shut, and darkness enveloped her. Her eyes adjusted to the darkness; the only light was from a projector shining from the floor up to the ceiling. The rest of the large space was in near darkness; nearby people and furniture were vague outlines. Someone behind her asked, "Name?"

"Blair Waldorf."

"Good, follow me." A hand took her arm and began to pull her through the darkness. She gazed up at the ceiling, and her ears registered the sound matching the image of Ken Branagh's Hamlet. _To thine own self be true._

The sound of Nate's voice became incomprehensible as Chuck watched Blair emerge from the darkness. She wore a tight white dress that only hit mid-thigh, while at the top it reached her collarbone, wrapping down into long sleeves. He watched as she turned to the man to order a gin martini and he licked his lips as he saw the dress had no back, the fabric only reaching around from the front once more to cling to the curves of her hips and the roundness of her ass. He cleared his throat, "Archibald."

Nate grumbled next to him, "I know what that means. Later, Chuck."

For one last jab at his friend, Nate paused in front of Blair, and grasping her hand he kissed it, "Good evening, Blair." He could feel Chuck's eyes boring into him and he chuckled before sauntering off to another dark corner.

"You came."

Her eyes fell on him; Chuck was laid out on an expansive mattress on the floor in a secluded corner of the room. He was wearing a white button down, unbuttoned, that fanned out under him, melting into the white sheet of the bed. His black trousers stood out from all the whiteness.

Blair's martini arrived and she gulped it quickly as Chuck asked if she would not join him? She lowered herself onto the bed, placing a good distance between them as she sank into the softness. The smoke from so many pot smokers made her mind fuzzy as it mixed with the martini she had downed. "So, Hamlet?"

They stared up at the ceiling, "Someone recently turned me on… to Shakespeare."

"Bullshit… at least to the Shakespeare part."

Chuck reached across the great expanse between them, brushing the tips of his fingers against hers. They looked up; watching the film for a time in silence, Chuck drinking his scotch, Blair her martinis. The drugs and alcohol unraveled him as they watched Hamlet go mad, attacking his uncle, his mother, slamming Ophelia into the walls. "That could be me someday, " He felt Blair's fingertips stroke his, "I have everything, yet nothing, and it will destroy me."

Her voice was soft and clear, "No. That is what you've convinced yourself of, but I've already seen more in you. You will have whatever you want, Chuck. Your raw power is commanding, and you can use it however you chose. People cannot ignore Chuck Bass."

He heard the sting in her voice as she spoke the word _ignore_, and she tried to draw her hand away, but he grabbed it, and held her hand in his. "But they can ignore Blair Waldorf?"

A hoarse laugh escaped her throat, "Like you had even noticed me before the garden party? My own mother doesn't see me; my father left me, left us, for France and another man. My best friend outshines me at every turn. I'm never enough, why can't I be more perfect, why can't I be more like Serena? I feel like the moon to her sun, always striving to shine as brightly…"

Chuck pulled himself up and leaned down to look at her, one hand stroking the hair away from her face, "Why would you want to be her? Because she shines? Don't you see how empty she is inside? But you… I may have missed you before, but I'm watching you now."

Her body was growing warmer with his touch- his words. Wrapped in darkness, clocked in the nearness of him, she felt safe and secure. The sounds around them dropped away and all she could see was the sliver of light reflecting in his dark eyes. Then, he spoke.

"I see you."

His words reached all the way to her core, and she reached up to touch his face, to feel him under her fingertips. That is when he came to her, through the chaos, the darkness, his lips found hers and she came to life once more. Her common sense was dulled and all she sought were his taste and his touch. Her kisses were needy, and one hand was in his hair as the other travelled the planes of his chest, the ripple of his abdomen, the ribbons of muscles in his back. Blair was drowning in him, yet she wanted more, and more. _He sees me._

Her mouth was fantastic, and her tiny hands were all over him, exploring every inch of his torso. _I want her. I have to have her. What was she thinking coming here- in this dress? _He clasped a hand on her breast- no bra; Chuck groaned. _Enough_. She was playing with fire, and he was going to burn her. Grasping the top of her dress, he pulled it down. She protested as the sleeves pinned her arms down, and she struggled but a moment, wrenching free from the dress, her fingers flying back to him, pushing his shirt from his shoulders.

As they kissed, his hand pressed against the naked skin of her breast making Blair moan into his mouth in response. Her back arched when he rolled her nipple between his fingers and she cried when his mouth parted from hers. Kissing down her neck, her collarbone, in the darkness his mouth found the other nipple. He licked and teased her, his teeth nipped at her and she cried with pleasure. She felt how slick her legs were with her arousal as she writhed beneath him.

He paused, and leaned over her, stroking the length of her exposed stomach, "Tell me what you want, Blair." It was not a question- it was a command.

"Kiss me, Chuck." She breathed.

His lips brushed against hers so softly and Blair pouted. His hand drifted to where her dress abruptly ended and dragged along the skin of her bare thigh. "Tell me what you really want, Blair. Tell me what you need." _Tell me you need me._

"Chuck…" She panted, her legs parted at the anticipation of his touch, but his fingers did not seek her heat. They idly caressed her inner thigh and she wanted to scream.

"Blair…" He dipped his head to kiss her neck, nipping at the delicate skin; he breathed his hot breath into her ear, "Tell me."

Blair trembled and acquiesced, "Touch me… I want…"

"What do you want?" He whispered as his hand pressed against the mere inch of fabric between his fingers and her.

"I want your fingers…" Her mind was hazy, but she was still coherent enough to be humiliated by her request.

Chuck pulled his hand away to touch her soft cheeks, "These fingers?"

Blair gave out a desperate cry of frustration.

"Where should I put my fingers, Blair?"

Having taken enough of his torment, she grabbed his hand and placed it squarely between her legs. His hard fingers pressed against the wet heat seeping through her thong.

"My, my, and here, all you had to do…" He pushed the slim fabric aside, and slid a finger into her, "was ask."

Blair let out a cry of pleasure.

She was supremely tight as her muscles fought to hold onto him and she bucked her hips against his hand. He extracted his finger and listened to her cry in protest before he replaced one finger with two. His fingers worked her with long, luxurious strokes. His mouth found her breasts once more, giving her simultaneous pleasure. Her hips rocked with his hand and her fingers were tangled in his hair as she moaned. His cock ached against his trousers, longing to take the place of his fingers.

Chuck moved to kiss her mouth, his fingers moving a little faster to match the insistent rocking of her hips, "Should I let you come, Blair?"

"Please… Chuck…" She begged, her muscles clamping around his fingers in pleading.

His fingers stilled, her body shook, and she mewed in protest.

"You need to learn to ask nicely for things Blair- properly, or else I may just stop asking." He flexed his fingers inside of her and she trembled, "Is that what you want Blair, for me to have _my_ way with you?"

Blair cried, "Fuck me with your fingers. Make me come, please Chuck…" She writhed under him, "make me come…"

His fingers slid back into motion. Deeper, harder, he pushed into her and she pushed back. She was panting and squirming, and Chuck's thumb circled her clit. She cried out, begging for more. Faster now, he slid his thumb against her clit again, and again.

Blair shuddered- harder than she ever had at her own hand, she cried- shouted, in pleasure, Chuck's name piercing the darkness for all to hear. Dazed, she trembled and slowed, gasping when Chuck's fingers left her empty.

He lifted his fingers to his mouth, tasting her. He would taste her properly some day… soon. He purred in her ear, "You taste like honey."

She tugged her dress back up, and then turning into him, she curled up, exhausted and satisfied. Blair nuzzled her head against his chest and wrapped her arm around his bare torso, and she murmured, "You feel like heaven."

Chuck held her, surprised at her closeness after he had defiled her. He chuckled at the potential double entendre. She was either being dirty- that his fingers had felt like heaven, or sweet, and that his body, his embrace, felt like heaven, and he wondered, "You cannot mean that both ways."

But Blair had no answer; she had dozed off in his arms. He rolled his eyes in disbelief. Extracting himself, he slipped his shirt back over his shoulders, and scooped her up in his arms, taking her to a waiting limo. He had hoped perhaps the crisp autumn air would wake her, but she did not stir. He was tempted to send her home and let her doorman deal with her. _You feel like heaven._ He looked at her peaceful face and sighed.

He carried her up from the limo, to her room, and laid her in her bed, wrapping her in the satin duvet. _You will love me… some day. _"Not so likely, Waldorf." He snickered; he could not believe she fell asleep. What was she, ten?

As he left her, he pulled out his phone. He still had a raging hard on, and he was going to require some intense professional help after being with Blair.

**AN: Chapter title taken from Cayle's story of the same name. **


	6. I Can Make You Feel

Chapter Six:

I Can Make You Feel

Blair shifted under her satin covers, rousing slightly. Groaning, she rolled over; she realized she was wearing the dress from last night. Her mind, fuzzy from one too many martinis, tried to recall the night before. Chuck. She sat up instantly, panicked, and then clutched her aching head as it dawned on her: she could not remember. _Oh God! What did I do?_ Crossing her arms, she hugged herself, making sure she was all there, her mind spinning for details of memories that were hazy at best. Darkness, a bed, Chuck… Hamlet, fear; he kissed her, had touched her. But how much did he touch her? A frightening thought, she slid a hand beneath the downy softness of her duvet. Her underwear was gone, and Blair blanched.

Flooded with a mix of anxiety and horror, she tore the sheets aside and unsteadily ran to her bathroom as her head pounded. Peeling the dress off, she stumbled into the shower, blasting her body with hot water. Blair cleaned herself, afraid- yet searching to find any sign that she was different. She crumpled up on the tile floor, steam curling around her as she leaned against the glassed-in shower. Through her fear, she reached down and felt herself; the dull realization set in. She could not tell if she were altered. There were no marks, nothing out of place- she had to trust Chuck Bass. A bitter taste in her mouth, Blair thought she might be ill all over the floor. The nausea slowly passed and she collected herself, shutting off the water, stepping out of the shower, wrapping herself in a thick white towel. She was going to have to ask the dark prince if she was still an innocent; she shivered.

Mentally, she cursed herself for going to the party as she opened the bathroom door. Blair clutched the top of the towel tighter as her eyes fell upon her bed. There he sat, the devil himself, with gift in hand. Chuck looked up at her, and she watched his signature smirk spread across his face.

In his mind, Chuck imagined them in a world without their inhibitions. That cruel towel would be on the floor without a thought, and he would have Blair on the bed, in all her splendid, naked glory. He would worship her and she would beg for him.

"Chuck…" Blair trembled for a moment- from the cold, or the look in his eyes? "Tell me."

He sat the gift on her bed and walked to her, his hands stroked her arms as though to warm her against the cold, "Tell you what? How no one can wear a towel quite like you?"

Blair felt the warmth of his hands on her and her breathing quickened at his nearness. His intimate gesture, the touch of his skin on hers, weakened her resolve and tempted Blair to melt into his arms. She gathered her strength and looked up into his eyes, "What happened last night?"

Chuck instantly saw the fear in her and it stung. He felt bitter, and angry, that she would think the worst of him- it was evident from the fearfulness etched across her beautiful face, "You don't remember any of it?" He bit out.

"I remember talking, and…" She paused, her voice softened, "your kiss." Blair felt her lips tingle at the memory, at the knowledge that he was right here, and could lean down to taste her once more. _He sees me_.

He felt that odd stirring sensation as he watched her, the way she said 'your kiss.' For a moment he forgot his outrage in the way she looked so lost. He wanted to caress her check, pull her close, and kiss her dark thoughts away. He shoved the feeling away, his disgust bubbling up once more, "So, what exactly are you accusing me of happening?"

"I don't know! You're Chuck Bass… and I don't remember how I got home last night!" Blair sounded half hysterical and she stepped back away from him.

Chuck's eyes turned black with her admission, "You think I took you."

The look on his face- in his eyes, suddenly made her feel oddly guilty and a little ashamed, and her cheeks flushed pink. He had stepped towards her, and her back was now against the wall. She stared past his shoulder, unable to look in his eyes again.

"Blair," He tilted her chin up, her eyes forced to meet his, "I am not going to take you. Do you understand? You will come to me, burning, with lust and desire, begging to couple with me."

He watched as Blair licked her lips, her lower lip catching between her teeth as she swallowed hard. His free hand dropped down as his head tipped to the side, whispering his hot breath in her ear, "I gave you pleasure last night Blair, can you truly not remember?"

His fingers dug into the naked flesh of her thigh, spiraling up and inward. Blair's eyes flew shut, she panted, and the memory rapidly rose from the hazy depths of her mind. How he teased her, made her beg, the feel of his fingers in her. She feared the thought was going to make the wetness run down from between her legs.

Chuck kissed her neck just below her ear.

Blair remembered coming, shouting his name into the darkness. She trembled.

A stray finger slid under the towel, between her parted thighs, sweeping across the moist, heated skin stealing her nectar.

Blair gasped at his touch and her eyes fluttered open.

Lifting the illicit finger to his lips, he watched her eyes follow it. His tongue curled around his finger, and Chuck moaned softly as he drank in her flavor. The finger trailed along his lower lip as a smirk slowly appeared.

"You still taste like honey." He quickly pressed his lips against hers.

She melted against him; his tongue found hers, and she startled, tasting herself on him. He held her, tight, expecting a fight, but instead she grasped his shirt and kissed him harder.

Satisfied with triggering her need once more, Chuck let go and instantly pulled away. He was nearly out her bedroom door when, realizing he was going, Blair called to him.

"You owe me!"

Chuck half turned to look at the slightly mussed brunette clad in her little white towel, making demands on Chuck Bass. "And what exactly is it that _I_ owe _you_?"

"Wednesday, after school. _No_ limo." Blair turned back to the bathroom and closed the door. She exhaled, relieved to at last have a moment to herself. Chuck's presence was powerful and alluring, and he had ambushed her; it was a small miracle, in her mind, that she was still standing at all.

After a long moment, once her breathing returned to normal and she no longer felt wobbly on her own feet, Blair peeked back out into her bedroom. Chuck was gone. She found his gift lying on her bed- she had forgotten he was holding something earlier. Though he had delivered this one personally, she found there was still a note attached:

_For next time_

_And consider your panties a token of appreciation._

_xx_

Blair groaned- she forgot that he had stolen her thong. A box from Saks, she opened it, rather expecting more lingerie. Not quite. Black patterned stockings and a slim lace garter belt- no underwear. A small smile, she pondered how she might use the gift against him in the future.

* * *

Chuck waited outside of the school that Wednesday, leaning against the wall watching the girls flood out of Constance. Many of them smiled at him, gave him one of _those_ looks. He nodded his head in acknowledgement, but watch and waited for the girl with the chocolate curls, to see if she might smirk at him the way he smirks at her. And there she was… but not clad in the stockings, today. A little sad, yet he was still curious nonetheless.

She smiled at him, lightly swinging her Ralph Lauren tote. She took his arm, and pulled him from the wall- out of the shadows, and into the sun.

Blair sighed and leaned her head against him as they began to walk, "Ah, isn't it nice out today?"

Chuck was generally stunned at her open manner with him, in public. He wondered what her plan might be. "I guess… what exactly is it we are doing? Because my ideas all had us wearing fewer clothes."

She looked up at him, and gave him that little smirk. Chuck felt warm as her eyes looked into his. There was a lightness being around her like this, as though he were just a normal boy. Yet her eyes, that smirk, felt like a more perfect reflection of his own, and there was nothing ordinary implied by them.

"That really is all you think about isn't it?" She chuckled a little.

"It's not like I can _really_ help it around such a tease as you, Waldorf." He freed his arm from hers and pinched her ass in retaliation for her hotness.

"Chuck!" Blair half jumped, and swatted his arm. Satisfied with her revenge, she wrapped her arm in his once more, "We're going for a walk. And I want to see the penguins."

Chuck furrowed his brow and half grumbled, "I don't think I pinched your ass hard enough."

"Oh come on. Don't you ever have conversations with people?" Blair glanced sideways up at him.

"In so many words? No." His voice, his face, was blank.

In her mind, Blair faltered a little at this information, but remained determined, "Well, you are today."

"Make it worth my while, or maybe I won't?" Chuck challenged.

"Terms?"

"The afternoon for five minutes."

"All afternoon? You'll behave? Talk to me?"

Chuck nodded.

"Five minutes of what?"

He leaned his head down and purred in her ear, "Five minutes of whatever I want." He watched Blair squirm as she considered his offer.

Blair swallowed hard, "Not… _that_, of course."

Chuck rolled his eyes, "We've had that discussion, Blair. And I would need so much more than five minutes with _you_," He watched Blair's cheeks flush at this, "So, no. Not _that_."

"Deal." Blair spoke, pausing their procession, and on tiptoes, gave him a sweet little kiss on the cheek. "But remember, you have to behave!"

So, they walked through Central Park on a crisp autumn day. Though this sort of event was odd for Chuck, the strangest thing was perhaps how he felt with her. Without the aid of drugs or alcohol, Chuck was relaxed. He promised to talk, and did a little, but he was happy to listen to the sound of her voice and to simply watch her.

"… So that's when Hazel threatened to drop yogurt on Penelope's Chanel flats. I promptly told them, as the head of the Snowflake Ball committee, I would have no more of this petty behavior and that we needed to stay on task."

He smiled, imaging how Blair looked asserting herself amongst the girls in the Constance hierarchy. He had seen that spark, the fire in her eyes, and he remembered telling Nate _I think there is some overlooked potential there._ Potential… yes, Blair had potential. Chuck found himself picturing the success of the ball she was planning at school, being at her side, enjoying it with her, holding her close and telling her how lovely she looked as they danced together. _Yes… so much potential…_

She pulled her arm from his to button up her coat more. When Blair did not immediately move to take his arm again, Chuck felt a compulsion, a shot of desire, a need to take a risk. His hand tingled and grew warm with the thought… _potential_.

In the space of a heartbeat, Chuck held Blair's hand; his fingers threading through hers.

Blair looked at their hands intertwined for a moment, then looked up at Chuck's face, her eyes wide, her full lips slightly parted.

His playboy persona intact, Chuck discounted her questioning look, walking on as though he had held hands with every girl with whom he had ever been. But his persistent smirk softened a bit, looking almost like a contented smile, and he looked out at the multicolored trees, breathing in the cool air, as their hands exchanged warmth.

They were approaching the penguins at last, and Chuck asked, "So, why the penguins?"

"They are always in their best outfits, ready to have a good time. Plus, look how pretty they are when they swim." Blair pressed her free hand to the glass and smiled watching them.

Chuck smiled watching her. Her beauty, innocence, and light pulled him in, and he felt he might lose the idea of himself just from holding her hand. What was it about her? He felt anything could be possible being here like this, with Blair.

Blair turned to look at him, "Is there anything you want to see?"

"Hmmm…" Chuck thought, pursing his lips, teasing her as she stared at him intently with her large brown eyes, "Snow leopards?"

And like that, she was pulling him away from the penguins towards the snow leopards. When they arrived, one leopard was napping, another prowling around in its habitat.

"What do you like about the snow leopards?" Blair asked.

"They are graceful, yet vicious, prepared to climb mountains and survive in awful cold, alone." He turned towards her as he spoke, and now trailed a finger along Blair's cheek, his voice almost a whisper, "They couple white and black… the light, and the darkness."

Blair looked at him as he spoke, his dark eyes pulling her in. His touch beckoned to her, and she breathed in, his draw was undeniable and she yielded to him.

They came together then- at those words: the light and the darkness. His lips met hers, so softly, Blair felt lightheaded. Chuck's hands cupped her face and he continued to brush his lips against hers, a gentle insistence, a silent message.

Blair thought, when he at last drew away from her, that their kiss must have lasted several minutes. Her eyes shined as she looked up at him, her heart fluttered from the intensity of their intimacy. Her fingers were threaded together with his again, and she whispered, "Chuck?"

He was Chuck Bass again however, and moving forward, he asked, "Walk you home now?"

Blair studied him a moment, and putting the last few minutes aside to think about later, she replied, "One more thing, first. I always get a treat when I leave!"

She ordered a bag of Skittles, and looked up at a Chuck with great expectation. The stand had a wide selection of candy, but there was only one thing that could entice him- black licorice. When Blair was not looking, he purchased another candy, which he slipped in his pocket.

They walked to Blair's building, munching on their treats and making small conversation. Entering the foyer, Chuck pushed the button to call the elevator. "Blair."

A bit distracted, she had begun to think about those five minutes she promised. "Hmm?"

"While our challenges still stand, you need to trust that when I say you will come to me, that is exactly what I mean." Chuck pulled a ring-pop from his pocket and slipped it on her finger, with a smirk covering his face, his brown eyes twinkling gold and hazel.

Blair gasped, initially surprised, but then giggled at his gesture. She kissed him, a long, sweet kiss until the elevator arrived. Pulling away she stepped into the elevator, lifting her hand to stick the ring pop in her mouth, smiling.

Chuck grinned, "Keep practicing. Five minutes, Friday, the library."

The doors closed, but he still caught sight of Blair's eyes going wide.

* * *

Later that night, Blair pulled that first Bergdorf's box out from under her bed. She had collected all of his notes, and tucked them inside with the plastic piece of the ring-pop. She had to stop herself from fantasizing about a future with him. He was Chuck Bass! Yet… Chuck had been so… different, today. It caught her off guard, to see a softness to him. That kiss; she closed her eyes and felt warm all over at the memory of it. With a sigh of determination, Blair closed the box, tucking it away once more. The war was becoming interesting already. She turned her thoughts to Friday; it was a test- a challenge that she needed to win.

Chuck sat on his bed, swirling a glass of scotch between his fingers; his thoughts drifted over his afternoon with Blair. He had relaxed around her and it was a strange feeling to him. The cool crystal glass in his hand made his fingers twitch, remembering the warmth of her small hand in his. And that kiss… Chuck downed the scotch, feeling it burn his throat, the heat rippling through him. Kissing her had been more satisfying and delicious than the scotch had proven to be. He raked a hand through his hair and lay back on his bed. Part of him felt guilty and disgusted for kissing her… like that, it was as if he were trying to drink in her light. But the darkness could never be the light. Yet… he wondered what it might be like to exist in those hundreds of shades of gray in between them?

He dreamed that night of his five minutes on Friday. The stockings, her lips, his fingers in her silky curls, the image of her was intense and toxic. He awoke in the darkness of night, his cock so hard it throbbed and ached. Blair Waldorf was going to be the death of Chuck Bass; it thrummed through his brain as he fell back asleep following his sticky, unsatisfying release.

* * *

**AN: Chapter title taken from the title of a Kensley-Jackson's story. Super hot CB one-shot. Seriously. **

**Ring pop bit is a nod to the girls at Gossip-fic, just for you!**


	7. Spider To The Fly

Chapter Seven:

Spider to the Fly

At first, Blair was a little nervous as she walked to school that Friday. But with each click of her heels as she walked up Fifth Avenue, she grew a little more brazen. Her hips swayed and she flipped her hair over her shoulder. No one would know, to look at her… and she found a delicious power in her secret. In class, she even answered more questions than that brat Nelly Yuki. It was a blessed half-day of classes, and though her schedule was still tight- extra music lessons and more committee meetings, her heels were a steady click as she walked to the back of the school library. The last aisle thankfully had a clock, though the light overhead had a damaged ballast- the light shuddered, flickered, sometimes going dark. Blair was ready for the next battle.

Chuck walked with long strides; his need was hot in his blood. When he found Blair, he barely took in the sight of her before his hands were on her, his mouth burning against hers. Momentarily sated, Chuck knew he needed to use his five minutes well. He cupped her hand in his and whispered in her ear, "Show me, Blair," Their hands were under her demure little plaid skirt, "Show me what you do when you think of me, alone, in your bed."

When he placed her hand between her legs, he too, felt her naked skin. He slanted his eyes at her in question. Stepping back, he hitched her skirt up. Years of practiced self-control kept him from groaning, or from taking her on the spot. The black stockings travelled up those slim white legs, strapped up, held in place by the garter belt. And that was all. No thong, no little briefs, just Blair's magnificent sex, cleanly shaven, with a few little wisp's of curls pronouncing her to be a woman and not some little girl.

For a few long moments, Chuck furiously memorized the image before looking back at her face. Blair was smirking at him, the nail of her index finger caught between her teeth like a bad little girl who had gotten caught. He watched as the other hand slipped between her legs, the slight arch of her back as her fingers disappeared into her delicious body, thrusting her breast forward, the tight fabric of her blouse stretching tighter. He watched as what must be every man's wet dream stroked herself with one hand, and licked, sucked, the finger of the other, her pink little tongue and perfectly formed mouth making his already uncomfortable trousers positively unbearable. Sixty seconds. Chuck lasted sixty seconds. Grabbing her hand, he dragged it away from her sex, listening to her mew in protest.

She stared up into his eyes as her fingers were sucked clean by the careful attentions of his mouth and tongue. She heard the metallic rasp of his zipper coming undone as the sound shivered down her spine. The memory flashed behind her eyelids as she blinked slowly; the image of him naked, the dimensions of what she was at last going to feel and taste.

Blair shoved his hand aside. She was smirking again and she herself freed him, taking him in hand. Not wearing underwear made her such a bitch.

Chuck breathed a deep, shuddering breath as the soft skin of her hand clasped around his hardness.

She leaned up towards his ear, whispering as she pulled one long stroke, "You don't want me, Chuck."

His eyes opened, coal black irises burned into her, in defiance of her bold declaration.

Another stroke, "You need me." Her hand held him a little tighter, her fingertips flicked against the warm skin of his balls and he groaned.

"You need me unlike any other, Chuck, don't you?"

Two minutes. Without provocation, Blair dropped to her knees. Chuck's breath caught in his throat, oh, how he had been dreaming of this moment- had jerked off to the thought of her full mouth wrapped around cock. Her tongue moved from base to tip, swirling around him. His head lolled back against the bookcase, his eyes gazed up at the flickering light, unseeing through a veil of pleasure. The light flickered and went black. His fingers wrapped in her silky curls and her head dropped down, her mouth opening. Hot, wet, tight, his fingers pressed her head a little further down. Stars burst behind his closed eyes as the head of his cock rubbed against the soft tightness of the back of her throat. Her head moved slowly back… and forth… the plane of her tongue pressing strongly against him.

Ninety seconds left. Chuck pressed her down, and she took him in even deeper than before. She held there for a delicious moment; his cock flexed, and he cried out a thick moan of pleasure at the feel of her mouth all around him. Blair pulled all the way off of him, her fingers ringing tightly around his base; her tongue reached down to caress his balls. His legs trembled with the effort of standing, and he flexed once more in her hand.

Thirty seconds. He was in her mouth once again; she laid into him for the last few moments of his precious five minutes.

3… she sucked hard 2… her tongue pressed down on his head 1… a rough flick of her tongue lapped against him. _God, I need her_. The light above flickered back on. Chuck's knuckles were white as he gripped the bookcase for support, and suddenly, Blair was standing once more, smoothing her skirt. Perfectly poised now, only she and Chuck would have ever known what had passed but a moment before. Releasing his support, Chuck repaired his appearance, trying to keep his eyes from rolling back in his head from the strain of his raging hard on. Five minutes of heaven for… how long of hell? Blair reached down to pick up her schoolbag.

"Leaving so… very soon?" Chuck's voice was husky.

"Extra voice lessons. Sorry!" With a flourish, Blair turned to leave him.

She didn't appear half as sorry as Chuck did. He captured her waist with his hands and purred in her ear, "I can make you sing."

In less than a second, as his cock pressed hard into the small of her back, Chuck's hand dropped between her legs and twinned fingers sank into her seeping wet core.

"Oh God… Chuck…" Blair moaned, her legs trembled, and dropping her bag she held tight to the bookcase as she swayed.

"Needs and wants are dangerous things, Waldorf." Chuck's fingers dropped from her.

This time, he offered his fingers to her mouth. She grabbed his hand and he watched as his fingers disappeared more and more, sliding along her tongue and curving down the treacherous precipice of her throat. He groaned, and pulled his fingers free- what was he thinking? He may be Chuck Bass, but even he only had so much self-control, and this _virgin_ was seducing him. His unadulterated hand smacked her ass in retaliation.

"Don't be late." He turned and left before he was further tempted.

Blair took a deep breath before she steadied herself, picking up her bag, and leaving the library. How much longer did she think she could do this?

It was a quiet weekend of study and contemplation for Blair. No hiccups, or distractions, Eleanor was in Paris; Serena was busy with family, and Chuck… she sighed when she thought of Chuck. Her heart fluttered, her skin grew hot, and her mouth became dry. She wondered what he might be doing? But the thought of going to him, without a game or a legitimate excuse, was out of the question. She wanted so much, to walk with him again, dance with him, to touch him, to kiss him until she could not think anymore, she wanted… Blair swallowed hard at the admission, even though it was unspoken. She wanted him in her bed.

Chuck's weekend was a great deal less idyllic and introspective. He paid the prostitutes he hired Friday night extra so he could call them Blair without shame. He spent Saturday buzzed, strung out next to Nate saying nothing of consequence. Sunday… Sunday was bad; Chuck did not want to think about Sunday. Bart returned home on Sunday morning. He began drinking in anticipation of the words that would come from his father's mouth, his disapproving stare. The encounter left him numb, and he passed out in the darkness after brutally fucking more prostitutes 'named' Blair.

Blair focused with rapt attention during class on Monday, but was thoroughly distracted during the in between times. _I can talk to him at lunch, or… maybe after classes? Or maybe if I just see him, it would be enough?_ At lunch, she ate barely a bite, always scanning for a sign of Chuck as Serena watched with slight amusement.

"Looking for something?" Serena popped a spoonful of yogurt into her mouth.

Blair instantly looked sheepish at getting caught, "No, I was just thinking… how many seasons ago are her Prada's?"

Serena looked at the girl in question, "B, you know how many seasons ago those are. You were looking for _someone_."

Blair, with wide innocent eyes, just shook her head in denial.

"Fine, well, watch my yogurt." Serena went and chatted up one of the St. Jude's boys for a few minutes, all smiles and sunshine.

Sliding back into her seat, she shot Blair a brilliant smile. "_Someone_ isn't at school today. I hope he doesn't fall behind in his course work."

Blair gave Serena a little smile and finally started to eat her lunch properly.

Later that afternoon, Blair was seen leaving school with a little extra course work in hand, and not walking in the direction of her penthouse.

"I'm disappointed, Charles." Bart's voice was its usual cool monotone as he stood center stage in the living room.

"That's not really a surprise, is it?" Chuck commented, staring at the glass of scotch in hand before swallowing a large gulp. This conversation happened at least once per home visit with Bart. _Say something different, just once!_ He wanted to shout. Bart never changed his lecture, and Chuck never had the courage to speak up, only to speak out.

"I expect you to grow up, to apply yourself seriously," Bart lectured on, bored with repeating himself. When would the boy just get it? "Missing class today was not acceptable, Charles."

Chuck still refused to look at his father; simply feeling his overbearing stare was painful enough. He heard the same tone as usual and having to see the same face of disappointment … Chuck was not sure what he would do. He wasn't brave enough to do anything but drink away tears that were never allowed to come.

"Fine. Is there anything else I can do for you, Father?" he mimicked the boredom in his voice.

"Find something more useful to do other than prostitutes. I may come home late, but when I do, I'd rather not be hearing my son crying out 'Blair!' all through the night. Were they really all named Blair?" Bart's blue eyes were steel.

Chuck held his tongue. The last thing he would ever do would be to talk about girls with his father. His father would tell him to get a grip and move on; no one was worth the energy. _Way to be a shining example on how to treat a woman, Dad._

"Lay off the scotch. And the women. Do something with yourself, Charles."

It was always the same mantra. Don't do this. Don't do that. But do something.

_Tell me what you want from me!_ He wanted to shout. But, as usual, Chuck remained silent, seething underneath his cool exterior.

"You have so much more than I ever did, take advantage of that opportunity," Bart continued, not a sign of understanding his son's always-hidden thoughts.

_Yeah, well, I am taking advantage of it. What more do you want me to do? I'm 15! Am I supposed to already have made my first million in a third of the time it took you? What do you want from me?_

Silence. Chuck just stared through the amber liquid to the floor. He was a failure in his father's eyes. Must the man always need to remind him every second of his waking hours?

There was a soft knock on the door of the suite. Before Bart turned to answer it, he shot back a final command mixed with his usual off-handed good-bye, "I expect to hear you went to school tomorrow. I'm leaving for the Middle East in an hour, I'll return next week."

And that's why Chuck finally lost it. He'd been listening to his father for all of five minutes today; listening to Bart reprimand him and then, in the end, Bart gives him a simple: "Later! Be back in a week! At which point I will continue to chew you out! Again!"

Chuck stood up and stalked off to his room, but not before catching his gaunt reflection in the mirror. Fury. His inability to ever stand up to his father. So instead, he did the only thing that would let out the shout of anger.

The glass tumbler shattered, liquid amber and cut glass scarring the wall where the tumbler had met its fate.

"Charles!" It was a command, a scold, and an irritated expression at an excessive show of emotion. He rolled his eyes at the childish behavior. When would the boy just grow up?

With that, Bart pulled the door open. A petite brunette with wide eyes looked up at him.

"Mr. Bass." Blair had seen photos of him in the papers, and suddenly being before him, she understood from where Chuck had inherited his powerful draw.

"May I help you young lady?"

"I'm sorry, I'm Blair Waldorf. I attend school with Chuck. Is he not here?" Blair fought to speak in an even tone, to hold her own under the intimidating gaze of Bart Bass.

"Blair Waldorf?" Bart replied, articulating the syllables of her name, his eyes focusing on the little girl in front of him. Blair.

"Yes, sir. My mother is the designer, Eleanor Waldorf?"

"Of course. Please, come in. I'm afraid I am just leaving, but Charles is in his room."

Blair entered the suite as Bart exited, closing the door behind him.

She saw the glimmer of scotch and bits of shattered glass on the wall as she sat her bag and the papers down. Approaching the door next to the mess, she felt concerned, but her heart beat in her ears, anxious- excited, to see him. She rapped lightly on the door before pushing it open, "Chuck?"

He sat on the edge of his bed; the room shrouded in dark barring the odd scattering of light that escaped from the blinds. He was hunched over, his face hidden in his hands. But she could see it- feel it; the rage was palpable in the air. When he looked up at her, she saw his face was pale, dark circles under eyes of jet-black; his always-perfect hair was jagged and chaotic. He looked positively broken and wild.

Chuck gazed up to see who had intruded on the verge of his explosion and his eyes devoured the sight of Blair in his doorway. Backlight from the living room gave her divine body a sacred glow. Chuck swallowed hard; his eyes were hot as they traced the line of her pristine white stockings, rounded hips, the rise and fall of her pert breasts under the mandatory white blouse. Her chocolate curls were blackened in the dim light, and her eyes. Oh, those wide, innocent eyes. They were worried… they cared. He snapped in his mind… he wanted that. That light, that goodness of being, he wanted to consume it all and try to shine with it.

She watched him stand and walk towards her, his eyes watching her, unblinking. He had backed her up against the door, and she swallowed, nervous from the look in his eyes. Her heart was racing as his hand grasped her neck, travelling down to rest on her collarbone. His head titled down to hers, and her eyes rolled back as she breathed him in. The power of Chuck's presence intoxicated her- seduced her senses, and she ached for him.

"Blair." Barely a hush of a whisper, his hungry mouth found hers. He was already painfully hard and he pinned her soft, pliant body against the door. Her hands were in his hair, his hand slipped under her skirt. Pushing the fine line of her thong aside, he absorbed the feel of her shuddering against him as he shoved two fingers deep inside her dripping cunt. _It's always the teases that are the biggest whores_.

After a few moments of watching her writhe against him, Chuck grabbed her waist and spun them around, leaning her down onto his bed without breaking their kiss. With expert skill, he loosened his belt and opened his pants to free his aching erection. He felt her shift, to try and move to please him there with her mouth. He pushed down, settling his hips between her legs, pressing against her.

Blair gasped, and pushed against him, pulling her mouth away, panicking. "Chuck!"

He growled at her, "I need _you_."

"No!" It was part wail, scream, and sob. Though Blair was lying down, she laid a powerful smack across his face. Pushing herself free in his shock, she fled, barely recalling to grab her bag as she fought tears, her mind reeling. Blair managed to make it home, her body numb with shock, before the tears broke free and sobs racked her chest as she curled up on her bed.

Chuck lay abandoned in the darkness, a single tear, perfectly round suspended in one eye. It was the everything that left him with nothing: no. She had cried it because she had trusted him, but no. No longer. Blair would smirk at him no more, or play bad with him in the dark. Her warm hand in his, gentle kisses, furious kisses, the feel of her glorious hair between his fingers. No, the light was gone, and it took his hundreds of shades of gray with it.

* * *

**AN: Chapter title taken from the name of Noirreigne's fic, which I will unabashedly proclaim as my favorite bit of smut.  
**

**Special thanks on this chapter go to Jackie, Blood Red Kiss of Death, for helping me with my first pass at writing Bart. You are amazing chica!**


	8. Yesterday's Roses

Chapter Eight:

Yesterday's Roses

The next morning, Dorota, ever the mother hen clucked and prodded Blair until she rose from the downy comfort of her bed. She wanted to blink out of existence after that night. She had come to care for Chuck Bass, and trust him, even though she _knew_ better. In the end, the past few weeks were a lie and the thought made her want to cry again. Blair felt angry… angry, and forlorn, and positively crushed.

As she dressed, she pushed all the lingerie he had given her to the back of the drawer with disgust. Thinking of school, of all the events that lay before her, she felt resigned and numb. That she still existed would have to be enough for now- Blair could not feel excited about anything.

* * *

The first time Chuck saw her after that night he realized the level of destruction he had wrought- not just to her, but also to himself. His arms ached to hold her and comfort her. She looked empty to him, and it pained him for he knew it was his fault. So he reconciled himself to the role of observer. He would hide in the shadows to watch her before school, at lunch. He could not say he was sorry; Chuck Bass did not know those words. As if 'I'm sorry' would make anything better if he could. So he said it without words.

Opening her locker, a tightly bound bouquet of white and pink peonies. Blair's eyes grew wide and she exhaled a deep shuddering sigh. Holding them in her hands, her head bent down, inhaling their sent and feeling their softness. It was as if Chuck could elicit every emotion at once from her. Warm happiness at the gesture, a furious desire to throw them to the ground and stomp on them until they were pulp under her feet. So she resigned. Nuzzling her check against their softness a last time, she placed them back in her locker, pushing the door shut.

Chuck watched her reaction from a distance. No fire, no light- Blair had closed up completely. He swallowed hard against the lump in his throat, determination surging forth in spite of his own weakness. He would fight, to carefully pull back every layer until she shone once more before him. He had to fix an accident, a moment of flawed weakness, that he never meant to happen.

Blair loathed the thought of lunch today. She knew, even with her best acting on display, Serena would see something was wrong. She got by for a little while; Serena's own happiness distracted her from Blair's lack of emotion for part of the lunch period.

All bubbles and obviousness, "So! Tell me about you and Chuck!"

"There's nothing to tell… I can't see him anymore." Blair just let it go. She said it out loud and let if float away from her as though it were never meant to be hers to keep.

Serena floundered for a moment, "Wait… what? What happened? It was going so well. I saw you leaving school yesterday! You were fine- happy, even."

"I…" Blair stared down into her can of diet soda, the dark image of him in his room in her mind's eye, "Please don't ask me to tell you. He broke our trust, it is that simple."

Serena's light wrapped around her friend in a tangle of long arms and golden hair, hugging her best friend close, "You'll be stronger for it someday… soon. Just give it time. I'm sorry, B."

Walking home that afternoon, Blair toyed with the little bundle of peonies he had left in her locker. Her emotions were too erratic, shifting every second, that she could never stay angry long enough to destroy them all at once. Instead, those secret hopes she told herself she would not allow, fell away with each petal she pulled from the delicate flowers, dropping down onto the cold hard sidewalk. There was no 'he loves me, he loves me not.'

* * *

That night, Serena would not leave Blair to wallow alone, making her dress up and drown her sorrows in gin martinis at the Oak Bar. In spite of all of Serena's sunshine, Blair was despondent in the best moments. Mostly, she stared into her glass and prodded the olives around a toothpick.

Chuck had a similar thought as the girls that night. Before he entered the bar, he saw Blair through the large window and it twisted his emotions. He stood there for several long moments, his hand pressing against the cool glass as his black eyes were half terrified, half begging for Blair to see him, sinking without her. But it was a pair of blue eyes that found him first.

"Hey B! Nature calls, I'll be right back!" Serena spoke with perfect peppy inflection. Nature was calling, but it was in the form of a blonde maelstrom heading for one Charles Bass.

He saw her coming and half tried to retreat to his limo, but part of him wanted someone to tell him off. To hear anger, to see it reflected in a pair of eyes, he needed someone to hate him for what he done. Anger, disappointment, he was use to that- but what he saw on Blair's face… he could not handle what that was.

"Chuck."

It was cold and steady, solid and completely unyielding. He turned to face her, hanging his head in acknowledgement of his sin. He had no words to give her.

"I told you. She trusted you!"

"It was an accident!" Hot and hurried, an earnest plea. "She… she wasn't supposed to be there, she shouldn't have gotten in the middle of… _that_."

"In the middle of… what?" Serena's gaze was unforgiving.

"She didn't… tell you? What happened?" Chuck was at once relieved and even more guilt ridden.

"Just that she trusted you, and you broke that trust. What did you promise her, Chuck?"

Serena shines so brightly; he forgets she knows the darkness, too. If Blair could not make it real with words, he would not either. "If she cannot tell you, then I will not. Just… know that it is killing me too."

Chuck slipped into the dark shelter of his limo, as Serena watched him leave. And here, she always thought _she_ had a flare for the dramatic. Turning to look back at Blair, her friend was looking up from her drink, staring at her, unmoving.

Serena went back inside. Blair's only movement was the perfect rotation of her head as she watched her sit down again.

"That was Chuck." She whispered; a statement and a question tied delicately together.

"Yes. He's gone now." Serena placed her arm around Blair.

"What has he done to me? Why do I feel this way, S?" She pleaded for an answer.

"I'm sorry, but I don't have all the answers, B. I can tell you he's hurting too." Serena offered, perhaps a salve for her friends wound.

"That is a little comforting." Blair nuzzled her head against Serena's shoulder, "May I go home now?"

Serena felt she had no choice and forfeited the remainder of the night.

* * *

Blair awoke to the sweet smell of peonies. Pulling away her eye mask, she found her nightstands covered with every shade of pink, purple, and white. Her eyes watered, rebelling against her attempt to be unaffected. She carefully reached for his note, wary, as though it might sting her.

_Let them bask in your light, as I cannot,_

_I envy their nearness to you,_

_Yet I can be, knowing they are by your side,_

_As I suffer in exile of your radiance._

She gripped the thick card tightly in her hands, fighting the sob that tore at her throat from escaping. _I hate him!_She screamed in her mind, and wondered why she should hurt so much from something he did.

That is how they danced for the next several days. Chuck watched from the shadows, as he left her little gifts. She always had fresh peonies by her bed, a small bag of Skittles, l'maison du chocolate truffles, or macrons fresh from Pierre Herme's in Paris, tucked in her locker.

The gestures were sweet enough, but the best part was that it finally got her to laugh again. Serena pointed out he must either want her to feel better, or gain weight.

* * *

After a particularly long day the next week, Blair was glad to be free as she began the short walk home. Student council and committee meetings had left her drained, and her bag was heavy with assignments awaiting her attention once she returned home. As she approached her building, she clattered to a stop in her tall heels. Chuck stood there, straightening his bow tie, peonies in hand. There was no way for her to avoid him. And then he turned, and saw her.

He had not been this close to her for days- ten days, to be precise. She stepped towards him, and he proffered the flowers, watching her delicate fingers barely brush against his as she took them. His heart thudded painfully in his chest at the small touch.

"Blair, I didn't mean… for… that night…" Chuck sputtered.

Staring down, she trailed a finger along the soft blossoms. She whispered, "Keep going."

"You shouldn't have been there." He clasped his hands around hers, "You… _You_weren't suppose to see me, like that."

At last, she looked up into his eyes, "I trusted you."

Something ached deep inside, and it told Chuck she was the only one who could make it stop, "Please, don't give up on me."

"I… I don't know Chuck." She broke their gaze, "I don't know how this story ends."

Blair stepped past him, "But, thank you. Thank you for trying when no one else had."

Touching his arm, she placed the sweetest kiss on his cheek. He followed her as she began to step away. Wrapping his arms around her, he tilted his head and pressed his mouth against hers. His want of her flamed to life at the touch and taste of that which he had been deprived. He heard a soft moan escape her lips, and he knew these feelings were not solely his own. Relinquishing her from his arms, he looked at her flushed cheeks and stunning eyes.

"No. This isn't finished." He reached out, his fingertips caressing her soft cheek. Chuck watched her, waiting for her to deny him. Her mouth opened, and then closed again.

Blair did not have a response, no words, to his bold declaration.

Taking her hand in his, he kissed it, his lips pressing into valley of pale skin between her knuckles. It was an oath of redemption and with that, he left her.

* * *

**AN: Chapter title taken from Catheryne's historical fic of the same name, a rather astounding read set during the War of the Roses. **

**Happy birthday shout out to kseniya at GossipGirlsss- I'm so lucky to have great readers like you ^_^**

**For the image of the Oak Bar see 2x25. A little shorter than usual, I know, but was it not enough heartache? **


	9. Blast

Chapter Nine:

Blast

That weekend, Blair contemplated all that had come to be over the past few weeks. Serena advised her to wait, and see what would happen next, after Blair had confessed over coffee and croissants about her run in with Chuck. But as the weekend came to a close, nothing seemed to have changed immediately. Still just peonies and small gifts, keeping him in her thoughts, slowly, subconsciously softening her emotions.

Arriving home Monday, Blair found Eleanor and her staff flying around the living room, racks of clothes in every corner and portfolios laid out on the coffee table.

"I'm home from school, Mother. How was Paris?"

"Fine darling, fine." Eleanor did not even look up from the portfolio her and an assistant were discussing.

Blair turned to head upstairs; there was clearly nothing for her here.

Laurel, Eleanor's pushy assistant, was suddenly whispering in Eleanor's ear. Eleanor half barked at the woman, before she called to Blair. "Not so fast, dear."

Blair paused on the staircase and turned to look back at her mother.

"The buyer from Bendel's will be here in," She glanced at the clock and grew a little paler, "twenty minutes. I need to you model the dresses, Blair. Apparently the model was incorrectly booked, and after all, you were my first dress form."

Eleanor waved at the hair and make-up girls who carted Blair the rest of the way upstairs, not even waiting for an answer.

Primped, polished, pushed and pulled, Blair stood in front of the mirror, adjusting the dress. Eleanor came to approve of her daughter, minutes before the buyer arrived.

"Oh, my darling daughter… you look so pretty!"

Blair met her mother's eyes in the mirror and smiled at her, full of hope- a chance to truly win her mother's approval.

Eleanor was going over the first dress Blair modeled when Serena arrived. Keeping quiet, Blair made a small wave with her hand. Eleanor perked up when the tall blonde came into her line of vision; she made a motion to Laurel, who promptly went to Serena.

Without even the opportunity to say no, Serena soon found herself in an Eleanor Waldorf design, trading places with Blair. The two girls smiled at each other as they passed.

When Blair returned to her room to change, Laurel was selecting the next dress and talking to an assistant. Blair began pulling the dress off. Laurel stopped her.

"Blair, sweetie. Since Serena has come by, we're going to have her show the rest of the dresses. You understand, yes?"

Blair's eyes began to water; again, it was happening again. Serena wins over Blair. It was one thing the way her mother fawned over Serena, but this time… this time, it was too much. She tried to hold it together in front of Laurel, "If you don't mind, I'd like to have my bedroom back."

Laurel sputtered, "But, we can't, everything is set-up here…"

"Fine." Blair spat out, grabbing her handbag as she fled the scene. A tear escaped in the elevator. Stepping out on to Fifth Avenue, the wind whipped around her- she had forgotten it was getting cold. All she could think was to get out, to get away from… that. The doorman hailed her a cab. Sliding inside, she could only think of one other place to go. The Palace. Blair shivered for a moment, remembering his warm hands and brown eyes. _Why would you want to be her? Because she shines? Don't you see how empty she is inside?_

Standing in front of the door, the brass numbers 1812 staring back at her, she shifted on her feet uncomfortably. _Please don't give up on me._ She raised her small hand and knocked. She heard shuffling inside then, suddenly, the door swung open. Chuck was still in his school uniform, all yellow and khaki.

"Blair." He breathed. She looked stunning before him- her dress was beautiful, and she had on full make-up, emphasizing her large round eyes and thick lashes, and her chocolate curls were large and full. She looked as though she could have been going out on a date… but he pushed the thought aside. All her beauty was juxtaposed with the distressed look on her flawless porcelain face and he had to stop himself from grabbing her and holding her tight. He did not know how much more pain he could handle seeing her in. _She should always be smiling._

She just wanted to feel warm. Blair flew into his arms, nuzzling her head against his chest, tightly wrapping her arms around him. She felt him return the embrace, and they stood there in perfect silence. _He is always so warm, _she thought, his heat radiated through his clothes banishing the autumn cold that had consumed her. Combined with the heady scent of his cologne, Blair could not help but relax as her head swam, absorbing the diversion of being with him.

At last, Chuck stroked her hair, and looked down at her, "Come, we can't stand in the doorway all night."

Blair loosened her hold on him, and walking into the suite, they moved to set on the sofa. She instantly went to hug him again.

Chuck smiled at her; he could not truly believe she was here. It had only been a few days since he had pleaded for her to not give up on him. He had been trying to think of what he might be able to do next, and now… Now she was here. She was upset and had come to him. He felt that aching sensation in his chest- maybe she was hugging him too tightly? He stroked her long hair, "Tell me?" He murmured. She would not lift her head, but he heard her muffled voice.

"My mother… Serena… never enough." She then promptly sniffled.

Blair did not volunteer any more information than that, but he knew enough to guess the rest without the details. After all, he was an expert at being a disappointment.

"Hey…" Chuck gently cupped her chin and made her look up at him. Her eyes were full of unshed tears, and it pained him; he knew that pain.

"What can we do to cheer you up?"

Blair responded by hugging him again. He shook his head and smiled; he could not help himself, though she was sad and upset, it felt wonderful to have her here with him. When he was with Blair, he felt different. He was not so concerned with always being Chuck Bass- her presence soothed him, relaxed him, yet his attention was heightened. Right now, all he wanted was to give her a little bit of what she gave to him.

"We could go see the penguins?"

Blair shook her head no.

"Watch a movie?"

Again, no.

"Hm…" As Chuck pondered what else might cheer her up, he heard her stomach grumble.

"Room service?"

"Pancakes." Blair un-tucked her head in order to place her request.

"Only if," He titled her head up to look at him again, "you smile for me?"

Her large brown eyes stared back at him as he waited. Her lower lip caught between her teeth for a moment before she managed a small smile for him. It did not reach her eyes, which still looked on the verge of tears, and though her sadness still pressed on him, it was at the least, a beginning.

"That's a good start." Knowing she would not want to let go of him, he hooked one arm under her legs. Chuck scooped her off the couch, smiling at the sound of her startled squeals.

"Chuck!" Blair held onto him even tighter, if that were possible.

"Don't worry, I just want you to be comfortable." He laid her down on his bed.

Kissing her forehead, "I'll be right back."

Lying back, Blair stared at the ceiling as she waited. She felt safe. A week ago she could not have imagined feeling this way with Chuck, but in her distress, she had turned to him. She truly did feel safe, and he was already trying to chase the dark clouds away. She wrapped her arms around herself in a small hug, and smiled a little again. She wanted to be here, she wanted…

Chuck returned, and fell into bed next to her, derailing her train of thought, "It will be a few minutes."

He pursed his lips a moment, and then took her right hand in his, "Right, thumb war."

A giggle bubbled forth from Blair, "Thumb war? Are you serious? What are we, ten?"

He started grabbing at her thumb with his, "Maybe? After all, you did fall asleep at my party. Was it past your bedtime?"

Chuck pouted at her in teasing; allowing Blair to catch his thumb.

"I won!" She smiled, then promptly blushed when she realized what he had said, "Maybe you were just that exhausting?"

"I'm sure that is what it must have been." He smirked at her.

Blair smirked back.

His heart skipped when she mirrored his smirk. He played with her hand in his, working to keep his focus on how Blair was feeling, "So… your mom?"

She looked away from him, "It's okay. Serena saved the day!" Blair played with the hem of the dress; "I guess Waldorf designs look better on a van der Woodsen than an actual Waldorf?"

Chuck was about to ask more, but the food arrived. He had ordered pancakes, and there was a bowl of whipped cream and strawberries, warm syrup, and a bottle of champagne. He poured them each a glass, and they toasted, "To miserable parents."

This made her smile, and in turn Chuck smiled. He watched as she tucked in to the pancakes. He could see her spirits rising, her face brightened, and her eyes were no longer sad. As her distress lessened, he found himself feeling contented… a small spark of something different- happiness?

After a few bites, she held her fork up to his mouth and pouted at him. He chuckled and ate the bite he was offered. Her playful nature gave him an idea.

While Blair was distracted with dissecting the pancakes, Chuck used his fingers to scoop out some of the fresh whipped cream. "Oh, Blair…"

Her eyes grew large as she watched him, but she was laughing a little as she tried to catch the fingers coming towards her. Half the whipped cream ended up in her mouth, half on her face.

"Chuck!" Blair squealed as she removed the offending substance from her face with a napkin.

"Oh, wait… You missed a spot." He smirked at her, and licked her nose.

"Ew. Right, well, fair is fair." Blair dipped her fingers in the warm sticky syrup. Chuck was too fast though, capturing her fingers, he sucked them free of their sweet burden.

It was more intimate than Blair had meant it to be, and she felt her heartbeat speed up as his tongue caressed her fingers and his eyes stared into hers. She bit her lower lip as she watched her fingers leave his mouth.

"Oh… wait…" She murmured, "You missed a spot."

Chuck felt his breath hitch as Blair leaned in to him, her soft lips pressing against his; the tip of her tongue ran along his lower lip. He groaned with desire, oh, how he had missed her these past few weeks. She pulled away, and he smiled to see how her cheeks had flushed pink.

"Your turn."

Chuck went for more whipped cream, but this time, he missed her mouth entirely. It landed across her chest, coating her breasts and onto the dress.

"Oh, and that's a Waldorf original, isn't it?" Chuck smirked.

Blair looked down at the mess in mild disbelieve. She felt some of the cool cream sliding down into her bra, in between her breasts.

"What are yo…?"

Before she could finish, Chuck had bent down and began to lap the cream off of her skin. His mouth was hot, his tongue insistent as it passed over her skin. Blair's eyes rolled back as he licked between her breasts. She grabbed his hair, pulling him away from his ministrations so she could kiss him again.

Chuck enjoyed her taking control, showing him her desires. Her kisses were urgent, and she moaned with delight when his tongue finally slid into her mouth. He reached up to cup her breasts. She gasped, feeling the cold mess of cream pressing against her skin, and broke away from him.

"I'm such a mess." Blair stared down at her spoiled dress.

"Well... there is a shower."

She eyed him for a moment, and suddenly, she felt defiant. She could not control her mother, or Serena's natural appeal, but she did have her own power. Blair decided to own _that_- her power, her feelings, her sexuality, and she was going to have fun. She may be drawn to Chuck, but he was also drawn to her. She turned her back to him.

"Unzip me?" She pulled her long hair aside.

Chuck swallowed hard; he had not expected her to give in at all, never the less so casually. He pulled the zipper down, his mouth going dry at the sound, his hands twitching with longing and anticipation. He watched as Blair stood, the dress dropping to the ground. As she walked towards the bathroom, she unhooked her bra, letting it fall away.

He stared at the trail of clothing as she disappeared into his bathroom. The sound of water falling broke him from his meditation on Blair's little exhibition. Rising from the bed, he leaned against the doorframe, watching her in his shower.

Blair let the warm water fall over her skin, washing the cream from her breasts. Turning, she saw Chuck watching her from the doorway and she smirked. There was nothing between them but a few feet, and the glass enclosure of the shower. She could see the lust and desire in his eyes and she could not resist the temptation to torment him.

She cleaned herself slowly, with great care, touching ever plane and curve of her body. The sight of him watching her- the way his eyes devoured her every movement, caused that tightness low in her stomach. Pressing one hand against the glass, she leaned down. Water slipped off the perfect orbs of her breasts as her free hand slipped between her legs. She made a small cry as her fingers found the softness buried there, "Chuck…"

He moved from the doorway to stand by the shower, his hand mirrored hers through the glass, "Don't hide from me, Blair. Show me your need…tell me your desires..."

Her hand moved faster, harder, and she whimpered with need, "I want it all… good girl… bad girl…"

"Oh, you are, Blair," He purred her name, "You are. When I first saw you that day in the garden, I saw the good girl who was very, _very_ bad."

He could see- he could hear, how close she was getting, and he urged her on. "As soon as I laid eyes on you, I imagined it was your body I was touching. But even I could not imagine how incredible you feel when I slip my hand under your skirt."

She delighted at his revelations. Blair came hard, her back arching, legs trembling, as she cried his name in half want, half praise. When her breathing finally began to slow, she looked at him through the glass. He was smirking at her, and she returned the look, raising her defiled hand up to smear the result of her passion across the glass.

Chuck lightly shook his head and murmured, "My, my, I think showering just became infinitely more enjoyable."

He watched as Blair rolled her eyes and turned to shut off the water. Retrieving a towel, he offered it to her, only to pull it away before she could take it, "Ah, toll."

"Come on, Bass, I'm getting cold!" She pouted.

He opened the towel and wrapped her in it, simultaneously leaning down to kiss her. She lifted her arms, and tangled her fingers in his hair. Her mouth tasted so sweet, he wanted more. He pushed her against the wall and led her to wrap her legs around his waist. If he could not take her, he wanted to feel her body all around him.

Blair was excited at the feel of his erection pressing through his pants, against her. She pushed her hips into his; happy with the knowledge she was going to leave a mess on his khakis. She felt him pull away from her mouth to begin kissing down her jaw. Digging her fingers into his shoulders, she bucked against him as he traced the shell of her ear with his tongue.

"Tell me!" Blair commanded, her fingers moving to grasp his hair, yanking his head back so he had to look at her, "Tell me you want me. I want to hear it."

Chuck smirked, tilting his head as his eyes stared into hers, his mouth almost kissing hers, "Tell you? Tell you how with every passing day I don't just dream of taking your precious virginity, but rather, I dream of giving you so much pleasure, that I ruin you for all others?"

His lips crashed into hers, and his hands grabbed her ass harder. He felt her legs wrap around him even tighter as her tongue dove into his mouth. He moaned deeply, full of desire.

The sound of his desperate moan woke Blair's common sense. As she tried to pull her mouth away, he followed. So she bit his lip, and Chuck pulled away instantly. She chuckled, "Down boy."

Acknowledging that playtime had ended, he remorsefully lowered her back to the floor. He watched as she clutched the towel now, rather than his body, and his arms felt empty. Chuck softly touched his throbbing lower lip and smirked, "If you wanted to play rough, all you had to do was ask."

He watched her smile and shake her head at him. She moved to pick up her discarded black lace panties. But he reached them first, snatching them away from her.

"Nope, mine now." His brown eyes twinkled.

"Chuck!" Blair fumed for a moment, "You had better be sending me more lingerie! That's TWO pairs!"

"Well, if you insist…"

Blair huffed and stomped out of the bathroom. She scooped the dress off the floor and examined the dirty garment. Stepping into it, she folded the top half into the dress, making it a skirt. As she replaced her bra, her eyes scanned Chuck's bedroom.

He watched quietly as she dressed. He needed to breathe, let his pulse slow, and hoped his hard on might relax. A smile spread across his face as he watched her pull out a white dress shirt, a thin pink pinstripe woven through it. It was a bit too large for her as she slipped it over her delicate shoulders. She was rolling up the sleeves when he came to her, his fingers working to close the buttons.

"Now we're a little more even." Blair mused, as she tied the loose ends of his shirt into a knot around her tiny waist.

"I highly doubt that, I happen to adore this shirt." Chuck touched the softness of her cheek, "Though, I suppose it's okay since it is being worn by someone I adore."

He saw Blair's eyes light up, and he felt the air rush from his lungs when he realized that he meant what he had just said- and how much he meant it. _Adore_. He was petrified with the knowledge of his own emotion when he felt her lips pressing against his with a quiet insistence. Her fingers slid along the long line of his jaw as she continued to brush her lips against his. There was a fluttering in his stomach, and his arms wrapped around her. _I adored her, and it is okay._

Minutes passed as they kissed, until Blair gently pulled away.

"I need to go home. But… thank you." She spoke so softly, and her eyes were shining up at him.

"No," Chuck laid a small kiss on her lips, "Thank you."

They stared at one another for a few moments, before Blair felt sheepish and stepped away from him to slip on her shoes.

"I'll take you home in the limo."

"No!" Blair squeaked, "You are too infamous to get into a limo with, alone, at night!"

It was Chuck's turn to roll his eyes, but he forfeited, given that she was right.

"Then I'll have Arthur take you home, alone, in the limo."

He texted his driver, and walked her to the door. "Walk you to school in the morning?"

The fluttering roared to life in his stomach once more at her broad smile. Blair kissed him again- one last time, leaving him wanting more as he watched her go, in his dress shirt and half a dress.

* * *

**AN: Chapter title taken from SaturnineSunshine's fun little pre-series one shot. **


	10. Rules of Engagement

Chapter Ten:

Rules of Engagement

When Blair entered her bedroom, Serena was sitting on the bed, waiting. She paused in the doorway as the blonde looked up at her, bright blue eyes pleading.

"B, I'm so sorry! Please… please don't be made at me. Laurel just attacked me, I didn't know it was just going to be me!"

"Stop it S, I know. It's just how my mother is." Blair heaved a sigh; a little annoyed at being reminded _why_ she had ended up running to Chuck.

Relieved, Serena furrowed her brow as she realized what Blair was wearing. "By the way… what happened to you?"

Blair fidgeted with the hem of Chuck's shirt; a giant smile spread across her face, of which she instantly tried to hide, "Nothing, I just had to get out of the house…"

Serena stood up and approached her best friend. Leaning down, she inhaled deeply. "Oh, so that's what Chuck Bass smells like?"

Blair hid half of her face behind her hands. "I was so angry, and I had no where to go! I just… sort of ended up there."

"And he consoled you?" Serena mocked her friend- and the idea of Chuck Bass being sweet and caring.

Narrowing her eyes, Blair gave her friend a curt smile, "Haha, yes, Chuck Bass a giant sweetie, who knew!" Her voice dripped with sarcasm, then softened, "But… he did make me feel better."

"Then, ah, what's with the shirt? Don't tell me you're no longer…" Serena raised her eyebrow in question.

"No!" Blair sputtered, mentally adding _barely_. "My dress got dirty was all. And I mean ALL."

They sat down on the bed together, "Awww, so my best friend is going to date the most infamous playboy in town, and I'm not going to get any juicy details, huh?"

Blair lifted her chin, "A lady never tells." They both giggled.

"Then, you two are okay again? It will be good to not see you so sad all the time." Serena asked the question that had been hanging in the air since the first mention of Chuck.

Blair nodded her head and hugged her friend close. A little bubble of happiness rose inside her; she was excited about what tomorrow would bring.

* * *

The next morning, Blair spent extra time getting dressed. The lingerie Chuck had given her was back in her good graces. She could not resist the temptation of wearing the white set- the one he had caught her wearing and had first kissed her in. Little butterflies fluttered in her stomach, and she had to focus her breathing in order to keep herself in check. He was still Chuck Bass, and she would be smart to not forget it.

Chuck had to fight his own little butterflies when she came down that morning. He felt a mix of happiness and arousal. His eyes drifted to that little plaid skirt and the image of her naked in his shower last night… And here Chuck thought he had taken care of _that_ this morning, in the aforementioned shower.

His heart skipped when she held his hand. He knew things were still delicate between them, and he swore to himself he would not mess it up. "So, how are things? Better?"

"Serena and I are fine, we talked. My mother? That is just who she is." Blair shrugged her shoulders.

They talked only a little on their short walk. As they departed for their separate sides of the school, Chuck moved to kiss her hand, as he looked deep into her eyes, watching the color rise in her cheeks.

The next day, it was the same. Only this time, Blair kissed him on the cheek to say goodbye.

At lunch, Serena showed Blair the picture that was circulating of her chaste kiss on his cheek.

"You are going to ruin his bad boy image if you keep that up." Serena chuckled.

"I really cannot believe people don't have better things to do." Blair scoffed.

"Ah, they're all just hoping for a sex tape. Chuck Bass and the uptight nerdy little virgin. Every boys wet dream."

Blair rolled her eyes, "He's actually _nice_ to me, and… I'm still a virgin…"

"For now." Serena gave Blair _that_ look. "I'm sure I can only _imagine_ the things you two have done."

Serena watched Blair turn pink, "Ha! I knew it. I don't know how… or why really, you are holding out. You know he is going to be amazing, right?"

"I think I should be finding someone else to eat lunch with!" Blair managed to choke out.

Hugging her best friend, Serena said, "Ah, you don't mean it. Plus, no one else is already planning your birthday party for next weekend!"

The conversation moved on from talking about Chuck, much to Blair's relief. The topic of actually sleeping with Chuck made her incredibly nervous. There was no doubt he would be good- but what about her?

* * *

That afternoon was student council and committee meetings. The Snowflake Ball plans were in full swing, and they were preparing for the venue selection. In Blair's mind, this was no difficult task, but the committee members seemed to have other ideas.

"I think using the Hayden Planetarium would be _perfect_." Penelope proposed. The other girls nodded their heads in agreement.

"Snowflakes Under the Stars." Hazel chimed in.

"Are you kidding me?" Blair balked at the idea. "It's on the Upper WEST Side. And it's a planetarium. This is Constance, not some lame public school."

"Well, I have connections. Do _you_ have something better, Ms. Committee Chair?" Penelope shot back.

"The Grand Ballroom at the Plaza would truly be perfect." Blair stated.

The other girls, aside from Penelope, made approving noises.

"Like that's going to be cheap! Do you have a proposal already?" Penelope was growing defensive.

"I've been working on one." As in: no, not yet, because I do not have connections and am desperately trying to find a way to get it, and at a good price. She looked down at her watch, "Well, that's it for this meeting, Penelope, bring your proposal on Monday and we'll select the venue then. Hazel, I want the catering contract by then, too. No excuses."

Blair was thankful for the cool blast of wind that swept over her as she exited the school. She was in over her head, but the thought of the planetarium… she shuddered. Turning out of the courtyard, she found Chuck waiting for her.

"Chuck!" She tried to sound cool, like she was not totally thrilled to see him.

"Hey." He leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. "How were the meetings?"

Blair inhaled the scent of him, felt the warmth he emitted as he kissed her. She was momentarily dazed at the unexpected pleasure of being near him.

"Hm? Oh… yeah, the meetings." Blair huffed for a moment. "This ball is going to suck!"

"That can't be true- you're in charge of it." Chuck countered.

"Doesn't seem that way." She replied, her frustration pushing his compliment aside, "Penelope is taking over- she proposed the planetarium for the venue _of the Snowflake Ball_."

"Really? That's… interesting." Chuck watched her as he listened.

"And I'm going to have no choice. I've been trying to get the Grand Ballroom at the Plaza, but it's out of budget and they're not exactly enticed at the prospect of a bunch of high schoolers having a party there, no matter how well off our families are."

"I could see that." He paused to see if she had anymore to say. When she did not continue, he asked, "How important is this to you?"

"What? You mean, not losing face? Putting those girls in their places? Representing Constance well? Going to Yale? No, that's not important to me at all" Blair ended sarcastically, the pressure of her philosophical slippery slope weighing on her.

"I could help- but only if you want. If not, I will never mention it again."

Blair looked up at him, "Really?" She then eyed him suspiciously, "What's the deal I'd have to make?"

"Hmm…" Chuck looked thoughtful as he pondered the opportunity. There was something that had been on his mind, and he needed to know... "If I should get the Plaza for you, I get to be your date to your birthday party next weekend."

"Excuse me?" Blair looked at him with shock and total disbelief. She had been waiting for some sort of sexual favor or, something equally appalling. He wanted to be her date?

"You heard me. Is it worth it?" Chuck was a little taken back by just how surprised she was.

"Yes! Of course!" She sputtered. "But… how are you going to get the Plaza?"

He smirked at her, "Now, now," he put his hands over her ears, "That's nothing some sweet little virgin like you should be hearing."

The look she gave him was half dirty, half pout. "By the way, what were _you_ doing at school this late?"

Chuck shrugged like it was no big deal, "Just, you know… stuff."

Blair leaned into him and sniffed, "Wow, not pot?"

He playfully rolled his eyes at her. They had reached her place, and though he knew he should leave, the thought of it was displeasing.

Blair could see this on his face, but she had a lot to do- and to think about. "Thanks for walking me home."

Chuck's limo arrived, as if on cue. "Well, I suppose I have some work to do. Wish me luck?"

Blair saw the twinkle in his eyes and smiled. She leaned into him, as Chuck cupped her face in his hands. Their lips met, and all the drama of the day melted away. She wanted to drag him into that damned limo and show him just how much she _appreciated_ him. Her body remembered being wrapped around him as he pressed her against the wall. She might need to take a small... reprieve before starting her schoolwork. Pulling away, Blair gave him a small smile. "Good luck."

Chuck watched her hips sway as she walked inside. Slipping into his limo, he went straight to work. Chuck Bass hated to lose a bet.

* * *

By Friday morning, Chuck greeted Blair with the Plaza contract in hand. Shuffling through the pages, she could scarcely believe it. She smiled, half jumping, she hugged him, "You did it!"

Chuck had a smug look on his face, "Of course I did it, I'm Chuck Bass."

She blushed a little, "So, I guess I should make sure Serena knows you are my date next weekend. She'll want to make sure you have all the details."

"I wouldn't want to pick the birthday girl up late; it's true." Chuck reached out to hold her hand as they started walking to school.

When Blair came home in the afternoon, she smiled to find a Bergdorf's box waiting on her bed.

_I do owe you…_

_xx_

Opening it, she found a set of black lace lingerie. There was always something more exciting about lingerie when Chuck bought it for her. But there was another card inside. Furrowing her brow, she pulled the envelope open.

_If you should ever need more shirts…_

_Or me?_

Blair's heart thudded in her chest; there was a Palace keycard with the note. Her head spun, she tried furiously to keep calm, but she had no idea how to respond- or process what it meant. She had access to Chuck's suite.

Serena walked in at the moment, "I changed my mind, I just want to go shopping straight away. It's not like anyone is at home waiting for me…." Registering the look on he friends face, "Blair? What is it?"

Serena glimpsed the keycard in her friend's hand, "What is that to?"

Blair look up at Serena, "I… Chuck."

"Chuck? Oh my god, that's to his suite?"

All Blair could manage was a nod.

A small chuckle, "Well, that's temptation. There's no way you can hold out that much longer…"

The brunette shot her friend a dirty look; "I almost want to lose it so YOU stop harassing me about it."

Serena laughed again, "Come on, let's go shopping! Stop thinking about Chuck and come play with me!"

The girls were once again in the lingerie section at Bergdorf's. Blair found herself drawn to one particular manikin. She fingered the delicate material and imagined…

"Oh, that's beautiful, B. You're not…"

Blair shot Serena a look, cutting her off mid-sentence.

"Right, I get it. But that really is quite pretty."

"It couldn't hurt to try it on?"

"That's my girl!" Serena egged her on.

In the dressing room, Blair's reflection took her breath away. This was it. It was that simple. She felt giddy watching the salesgirl package it up for her and her fingers tingled holding the bag in her hand.

Returning home, she reverently tucked it away. Blair was not quite ready, but something told her… soon.

* * *

Monday afternoon, Blair crushed Penelope with the Plaza contract. It was beyond satisfying. The other girls all admired her, and while Penelope looked thoroughly disgusted, she seemed to back off.

"I expect the work of this committee to meet the standards set by having such an historic, prestigious venue for our event." Blair made sure to give Penelope a good hard look as she spoke. She saw Penelope snicker to the girl next to her.

"Is there a problem Penelope?"

"I was just wondering what you had to promise Chuck Bass to secure the Plaza?"

The peanut gallery twittered.

"Just an invitation to my birthday party, actually. Why? What did _you_ have to do to secure a venue like the planetarium?" Blair arched her eyebrow as she watched the girl blush and mumble something inaudible. "That's what I thought. If that is now settled, we should proceed with the next stage of planning."

Blair later relayed the story to Serena, who laughed, imagining the scene.

"Chuck really saved you only asking to come to your party… as if he wasn't invited?"

"He really did," Blair nodded, "Though, I didn't phrase it the way he did… you know, that he wanted to be my _date_. I just… couldn't give them that much information."

"Plus, won't it be more fun to surprise them?" Serena laughed. "You know, we should probably do something to make sure Penelope keeps in line."

"You think so? Like what?"

* * *

The next morning, Blair arrived at school early, meeting Serena, who handed her a spoon, and a cup of yogurt. "Ready?"

They waited for Penelope to start up the stairs to the courtyard, then…. _Plop_. Two spoonfuls of yogurt landed in her immaculate hair. The girl shrieked and ran inside to the bathroom as Blair and Serena laughed.

Chuck watched from the shadows. He had wondered what had made Blair want to come to school early today. He walked over to her as she was disposing of her yogurt cup, "Congratulations. I think you won't have any more problems with the committee?"

Blair smiled at him, "Thanks to you… and a little yogurt."

She felt so good! She was happy, and excited and… she threw her arms around him, in the center of the courtyard, and kissed him.

Chuck was a little surprised, but that did not stop him from pulling her close and kissing her back. _Good lord she feels incredible_.

Everyone in the courtyard turned to watch. After several long moments, someone called out, "Finally!" and the St. Jude boys started whistling, causing them to at last pull apart.

Blair turned pink, but it only added to the broad smirk on her face. "Have a good day?"

He smirked back at her, "It's off to a good start."

She winked at him, and then turned to walk to class.

* * *

**AN: Chapter title taken from one of the great Isabelle's one-shots. **

**Happy birthday to my friend and fellow GG author, the fabulous Poinsettia! I hope it is as fantastic as you truly deserve, mon amie.**

**Gossip Girl did you know? Whether or not you use Nightingale-Bamford (the school Constance is based off of) or the Russian Orthodox Church Synod of Bishops (used for filming the school) it is only a four minute walk from Blair's building?**


	11. Virtue Fell

Chapter Eleven:

Virtue Fell

The last piece of business on Friday, before the birthday weekend could commence, was auditioning bands for the Snowflake Ball. It was tedious work, but at least Serena stuck around to keep Blair company. The blonde's bubbly energy was infectious. One of the bands began to play a catchy jazz tune. Serena took this opportunity to pull her from her seat and dance.

Later that night, Blair found herself humming the tune as she prepared for bed. Somehow she fell asleep that night, in spite of her excitement for the weekend ahead. Thoughts of Chuck filled her dreams, and mixed with that catchy tune.

* * *

She stood in a pretty pink dress. The music started and she saw Chuck. He wore black trousers, a white dress shirt, sleeves rolled up, with suspenders. The lyrics of the song began to come out of his mouth as he grabbed her hand:

_You could have a great career,_ _and you should;_ _yes you should. _

He nodded at her, then held up his hand.

_Only one thing stops you dear: You're too good,_ _way too good!_

He shook his head and smirked at her.

_If you want a future, darlin', Why don't you get a past?_

_'Cause that fateful moment's comin' at last..._

He grabbed her hand, spinning her in a circle, and then brought her in close, holding her in his arms. The feel of him left her breathless.

_We're all alone, no chaperone, can get our number_

_The world's in slumber-let's misbehave!_

His eyes twinkled, and he ran his hands down the front her body as he invited her to misbehave.

_There's something wild about you child; that's so contagious_

_Let's be outrageous-let's misbehave!_

She turned and strutted away from him, teasing him with the sway of her hips. He smacked her ass then grabbed her hand.

_When Adam won Eve's hand_

_He wouldn't stand for teasin'._

Chuck waggled his finger at her.

_He didn't care about those apples out of season._

Leaning in, he kissed her on the cheek.

_They say that spring means just one little thing to little lovebirds_

_We're not above birds-let's misbehave!_

Chuck unbuttoned his dress shirt, exposing his skin… the hard body underneath. Blair licked her lips.

_It's getting late and while I wait_

He slipped his suspenders down

_My poor heart aches on_

He touched his heart, and pouted at her

_Why keep the breaks on? Let's misbehave!_

He reached out, and with the slightest tug to her dress, it fell away, leaving her in the black lace lingerie with stockings and heels.

_I feel quite sure affaire d'amour_

_Would be attractive_

His hands cupped her breasts, then ran down her abdomen.

_While we're still active, let's misbehave!_

_You know my heart is true_

_And you say you for me care..._

_Somebody's sure to tell,_

_But what the heck do we care?_

He pushed her back, and she fell onto a bed. He slowly crawled up her body.

_They say that bears have love affairs_

_And even camels_

_We're men and mammals-let's misbehave!_

He kissed her full on the mouth, as his body pressed down against her, his hardness pressing between her legs. Her back arched, her hips pushed back against his, a moan of desire rumbled in her throat…. the song ended and her mind went black.

Blair awoke feeling hot, the images of Chuck still fresh in her mind. Her thighs were slick, and she felt _that_ tightness below. She groaned and got out of bed; she did not want to think about needing to do such a thing this morning. She wanted to focus on her birthday and having fun- not how hot and bothered Chuck made her.

The daytime was spent at the spa with Serena, laughing and being pampered.

"So, do you know what Chuck is getting you for your birthday?" Serena fished.

"No… I'm trying not to think about it, thank you! Papa and Roman sent me gifts from Paris, and I'm sure there will be something I set aside at the jewelers from Mom later."

"Well, being such a good friend as I am, I did let him know you had some pieces set aside. You can't just leave these things up to guys, you know." Serena examined her nails, avoiding her friend's gaze.

"What? S, what did you do!" Blair turned a shade paler; the butterflies began swirling in her stomach.

"I like to think I made your 16th birthday that much better!" Serena shot Blair a giant smile, "Now, tell me, what are you doing with your hair?"

* * *

That night, Blair stood in front of her mirror smiling when Dorota came in.

"Mister Chuck is here for you. Oh! Miss Blair, you look…"

She turned to her maid and hugged her. "Thank you, Dorota. Have a good night!"

And with that she left her room and descended the stairs to meet Chuck.

As Chuck waited in the foyer, he was feeling nervous and having his own internal struggle. While he was excited to be with Blair tonight, part of him wondered at _what_ exactly he was doing. Chuck Bass did not do dates- or girlfriends. But, here he stood, as Blair's date, on her birthday- at his request. And for some reason, the idea of having her for a girlfriend did not repulse him; he almost liked the sound of it: Chuck and Blair, Blair and Chuck. The jewelry case in his breast pocket pressed against his heart, and then he saw coming down the stairs.

She wore a tight black dress that hugged her curves and was cut in such a way as to tempt him with the sight of the white skin of her breasts. Soft curls were loosely tied back away from her neck; Chuck's mouth went dry recalling the memory of pressing his lips there, tasting her, listening to her moan in his ear. Her eyes met his, and in spite of his desire, he smiled at her. He took her hand as she walked down the last few steps, "Blair, you look… incredible."

She took in the sight of Chuck in a black suit, black shirt, the top button undone, and the pop of a pink pocket square. He looked dangerous and seductive. _What a pair we make, _she thought.

"Thank you." She leaned in to kiss him on the cheek, "Is that all you have to say to me?"

Chuck felt her breasts press against him; the touch of her soft lips on his skin, and it took every ounce of his self-control to not moan, grab her, and take her back up stairs. "Happy birthday."

"Should we get going?" Blair went to move towards the elevator, but Chuck stopped her, grabbing her hand.

"If it's okay with you, I want to give you your birthday present first."

She felt her stomach drop; she was terribly nervous. Blair did not know if she was strong enough to see what he might give her; she was still reeling inside from the keycard. Her eyes followed his hand as he reached into his breast pocket and pulled out the iconic red and gold box. _Cartier? I hadn't asked for anything from Cartier…._

"I hope you don't mind too much, but when Dorota told me what you wanted most… I happened to find a superior version."

Blair's mind spun, _oh god oh god oh god_, as she watched him lift the lid. A brilliant white diamond lay nestled in velvet. Lifting it from the case, the diamond was set in a delicate chain. She barely managed a reverent whisper, "Chuck."

He moved to stand behind her as she pulled her hair aside for him. The diamond sat just below her collarbone and twinkled even in the soft light of the foyer. Fixing the clasp, Chuck could not resist the closeness of her and kissed her neck.

Blair felt she could scarcely breathe as she felt the cool gem lay on her skin. When his lips press against her neck, she closed her eyes as a delicious sigh fled from her lips. Before he pulled completely away, she felt his hot breath in her ear.

"Tonight you are light and dark, and no one can deny you."

She turned to him, a flurry of emotions urging her forward. The look on his face… she could not find a word for it. There was desire- always desire, but so much more too. As she leaned in to kiss him, his mouth turn upwards into a soft smirk, and Blair found herself mirroring him perfectly as her lips pressed against his. His arms wrapped around her and Blair felt such happiness. Aside from all the pleasure, the warmth, and desire kissing Chuck made her feel, she realized something new; it also felt _right_.

Chuck's own control began to deteriorate as she kissed him; she slipped her tongue into his mouth, and pressed her tight little body against him. He wanted to die, _fucking party_. He gently pulled away from her, and had to swallow hard, if only it was not her own birthday party, they would be on the floor right now…

"We should… probably get going, don't you think?" Chuck swore that was the hardest thing he had ever done, just now.

Blair took his hand in hers and smiled, "Okay."

As they exited Blair's building, she saw Chuck's sleek black limo waiting for them. "Chuck!"

"Really? After that kiss in front of the _entire_ school the other day, you are still going to try and tell me you won't get in the limo?"

He had a point, but she still looked up at him, not completely convinced.

"What if I told you I had it freshly detailed, just for you?"

"Not quite sterilization," Blair teased as she touched the diamond around her throat instinctively, "But… it was going to happen sooner or later."

Chuck watched her thoughtfully as he helped her into the limo. It almost felt like she could have been talking about something else. He sat down next to her on the seat, doing his utmost not to stare at her breasts; his fingers tingled with the memory of how they felt in his hands. Lowering his eyes, he realized how short the little back dress was, and rather wondered…

"So, tell me…" He drawled, purring in her ear, "what are you wearing underneath your dress tonight?"

"Well…" Blair smirked at him, "No bra… obviously…" She then turned to him, putting one of her legs over his, half straddling him, "As for the rest…"

She placed his hand on her naked thigh. His hand slid along the back of her leg, slipping under the tight fabric, he grasped her bare ass. A low moan of approval, Chuck pressed his face in between her breasts, his tongue tasting the soft outline of them that the dress so dangerously left exposed. Her fingers were in his hair; soft sounds of pleasure fell from her lips. His hand sought the warmth between her legs, and he delighted to find she had not even bothered with a thong- she was completely naked underneath her dress.

The limo jostled them as it came to a stop. Blair untangled herself from him as Chuck made a small cry in protest; she slid away from him declaring, "Oh, we're here!"

He gave her a mean look as he watched Arthur hand her out of the limo. There was no doubt in his mind- he had created an absolute vixen. _What a tease!_

"Coming, Chuck?"

_Not yet_, he thought. She was smirking at him and he smirked back. Fine, if that is how she wanted to play.

It had been awhile since they were the elevator together that would take them up the van der Woodsen penthouse. Chuck wanted to make sure Blair would be the one panting and desperate when the elevator doors opened this time.

She held his hand as they stepped into the elevator. Chuck licked his lips as he watched the metal doors slide shut. He shoved her against the wall, pressing his body against hers, one hand dragged up her thigh, the other on her neck.

"Birthday girl or not, don't forget, Blair," He breathed heavily into her ear, "I'm still Chuck Bass."

He listened to her moan as he licked along the outline of her ear, "You want to know the dangerous thing about short dresses and no underwear?"

Her voice was barely a whisper, "What?"

"Someone might notice how wet you are for me when it's running down your legs." He shoved two of his fingers inside her, feeling her tremble and hearing her gasp. His kisses were rough as he worked her, feeling her hips buck against his hand. Looking up at the display, they were nearly to the penthouse. The pad of his thumb rubbed against her clit for a few delicious seconds as he watched her cry out his name, begging.

With only a couple floors left to ascend, Chuck pulled away completely. He stared into her glazed over eyes as he licked his fingers clean, then drying them, ever so gentlemanly on his handkerchief. He offered his arm to her, and she took it, still trembling, just as the bell of the elevator rang.

"Basshole." She grumbled.

"Tease." He responded as the doors slid open to the party.

Everyone yelled happy birthday as they stepped off the elevator. Serena emerged from the crowd and hugged Blair, "B! Happy Sweet 16!"

"Thank you S, this party is incredible!" Blair murmured; the room was crowded with people, and everyone seemed to be having a good time.

Pulling out of the hug, Serena saw the light twinkle around Blair's neck, "Oh my god- not half as incredible as that necklace. Tell me that's not a diamond?"

Blair blushed, her hand flying up self-consciously to touch the large stone. She looked over at Chuck through veiled lashes, who had gone to get them drinks. "It was a birthday present…"

Serena followed where her friend's eyes were lingering. "No…" she deadpanned.

Chuck returned, handing Blair a glass of champagne. He looked from Blair to Serena and back again, wondering at their expressions. He had not stepped away that long, yet he clearly had missed something.

Serena just stared at the diamond; it was at least half an inch wide, and flawless. Then she noticed the dress Blair was wearing. Black, sexy, seductive- where was she when Blair picked that dress out? Her best friend was changing, and it was a bit unnerving to watch. She cleared her throat, "I was just admiring Blair's necklace. It's so stunning!"

"You really think so?" Chuck looked at Blair, "It is quite pretty, but I rather think the model is a great deal more beautiful."

Blair's cheeks turned an intense shade of pink at all of this attention. Serena was looking at her funny, and she was still feeling shaky from Chuck's assault in the elevator. She had no idea how she was going to make it through the party at this rate.

"Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to steal my date back." Chuck winked at Serena as his arm wrapped around Blair's waist, pulling her away.

Blair greeted several more friends as they walked through the throng of people. Then she turned to Chuck, "Dance with me?"

"The only dancing in Chuck Bass' vocabulary is lap dances."

She rolled her eyes in response, "Really? Well, it's my party; I'm going to go dance with Serena."

Chuck traded his champagne for a glass of scotch and sat back to watch Blair bump and grind with Serena, letting time pass, unmarked as the songs merged from one to the next. Why would he ever want to join in such a thing when watching it was so enjoyable? Serena might be tall and bright, but he could not take his eyes off of Blair. He loved watching her body move, the black dress leaving very little to the imagination. Seeing the sparkle of the diamond he gave her made him grin with smug satisfaction. He would be surprised if everyone in the room did not know by now who had given it to Blair.

Perhaps his thoughts were a bit hasty. His eyes clouded over as he watched some guy begin slinking up to Blair- watching her, dancing closer and closer to her, putting his hands on her. Chuck instantly stood up and walked onto the dance floor, people moving away from him as if they somehow knew. Stopping next to Blair, he stared mercilessly at her new dancing partner.

"Hey Bass, what's up?" He smiled, as though he knew Chuck.

Chuck's face was cold and unreadable. He made no reply except to reach out, taking Blair's arm and pulling her away from the intruder. He turned his gaze to Blair, and she smirked at him. _Minx_ he thought, yet he could not help but smirk back. His fingers wrapped around her hips and he pulled her roughly to him, possessively, before his head dropped down and claimed her lips, kissing her deeply. After a brief pause of stunned silence, the crowd started jeering at them.

The music came back on, and Blair wrapped her arms around Chuck before he could try and get away. She pushed her hips against his and moved to the beat. She could feel how hard he was through his trousers and smiled up at him coyly.

"Blair…" He growled at her.

"It's my birthday. And you did say _no one_ could deny me tonight." Her smile was sugary sweet and she fluttered her long lashes at him. She watched the muscles in his jaw flex, his eyes black.

Chuck said nothing, but placed his hands back on her hips. He moved with her, mostly following Blair's lead, as she wrapped herself around him, writhing in his arms. The adrenaline had made her brown eyes hazy, her skin was hot, and his eyes caught sight of a bead of sweat as it ran down the exposed curve of her breast. He lost some control at that moment, leaning down to bury his face in her hair, and kiss her neck. He tasted the salt on her skin; she tasted- smelled, like sex.

This is why Chuck Bass never danced; watching made the activity appear more like art- or pornography, but to engage in this 'club style' dancing was masochistic. His cock ached as she ground herself against him. He bit and sucked on her neck in revenge, listening to her cry out. It was torment of the worst kind, to have to feel her like this and know he could not have her. As the song changed to a slower one, he felt half blind with lust and half ill with want.

Blair had been in heaven as they danced, rubbing their bodies together. She felt like a cat in heat, and when he had attacked her neck, she mewed. Only wanting to be close to him, her naivety meant she had no idea the full extent of what she was doing to Chuck.

He pulled away and led her from the crowd and the loud music. _Enough_, he could not take anymore. He needed space- to breathe, clear his head, try to relax.

"I need to go," He had pulled out his phone to text the limo, "Text Arthur when you're done for the night, yeah?"

Blair furrowed her brow, confused as she listened to his hurried speech. She was absolutely dumbfounded, and nodded her head at him, unable to fully process what had just happened as she watched him go.

Serena saw Chuck walk past her as he left and turning, she saw the look on Blair's face. Seeing her best friend look so confused, Serena went to her. "B, where is Chuck going?"

"I don't know." Blair had no clue what was going on. "We were just dancing…"

"Oh, I know that… I think everyone saw you two _dancing_." Serena added.

"And he said he had to go… That's it."

"What is it you do to him, Blair?" Serena giggled a little.

"I really have no idea." Blair shook her head.

"I guess the dancing was a little too much for him?"

Blair thought about it and realized Serena could be right. They were always playing, but what if it had finally gone too far? "I should probably go make sure he's okay."

"But it's your party!" Serena could not believe Blair would leave so soon, but saw that she already seemed to be somewhere else, "At least blow out the candles on your cake?"

This made Blair smile, and she agreed. It only took a few minutes, and gave her time to text Arthur. Blowing out the candles, she managed a smile for the photos, but was only thinking of Chuck. She kissed Serena on the cheek goodbye.

Arthur waited for her as she swiftly walked out of the building, "Take me home Arthur, but then wait for me? I need to you take me to Chuck."

The valet nodded and helped her into the limo. There was a little smile on her face as her hand touched the leather seat. Had it really only been a few short hours ago they were tormenting each other in this very spot? She felt silly because she _wanted_ him. They could not keep off of each other when they were alone together and when they were in public he was good to her. She was not scared, or nervous, she knew what she needed to do- and she wanted to do it.

Once home, she hurried to her room, kicking off her heels and tugging the dress from her body. She slipped on the little negligee from Bergdorf's, and after throwing together an over night bag, she swallowed hard as she retrieved the keycard. Finally, she wrapped her Burberry trench around her tightly and slipped into her heels. Hurrying back to the limo, Blair was in a haze of excitement, barely registering when they came to a stop in front of the Palace.

* * *

In his room, Chuck paced furiously. He had pretty much decided leaving Blair was a mistake. He was incredibly horny, but he could not even think of calling any of the numbers in his little black book. He wanted _Blair_, no one else. The glass of scotch he had downed only served to make him feel hotter as he discarded his jacked and unbuttoned his shirt. Frustrated, he leaned against the full-length mirror in his bedroom and stared at his dim reflection in the dark room.

The brass numbers reading 1812 seemed to sparkle at her as she pushed the door open. Her hand felt tingly holding the keycard. It was dark in the suite, and she wondered if perhaps he might already be asleep? Quietly, she removed her shoes and coat. She had planned- hoped for the darkness. Pulling a small candle from her bag, she lit it, and holding it in her hands, she walked to Chuck's room. The door opened with the smallest nudge, and she saw him, leaning against the wall, his hair disheveled, his frustration written clearly on his face. Then, he turned his head and clapped eyes on her.

A light in his doorway… no… it was Blair. The soft light twinkled in the diamond around her neck and in her beautiful brown eyes. He felt lightheaded, and it was difficult to breathe as he looked at her. She was wearing almost nothing- a wisp of soft sheer fabric fell from her shoulders to mid-thigh, held loosely together with a ribbon around her waist. He could see her curves, the texture of her skin, the contrast of her taunt pink nipples atop her creamy white breasts. Chuck thought if he were not already dead, he was about to be. _Oh god, what is she doing?_

"Chuck," she whispered setting the candle on his dresser as she stepped closer to him. He turned to face her completely, and she could see the frustration on his face change into a longing desperation.

"Blair… what are you doing? Why are you..."

"Chuck-" Blair repeated, her fingers reaching out to place feather light touches across his torso, "I want you."

And with that small admission, he pulled her against his body and kissed her. A wave of heat bloomed in his chest as their lips met, soft, gentle- devoid of the lust and urgency he had rather come to expect. Her fingers pushed his shirt away, then came up to trace along the line of his jaw. He found the ribbon of her negligee and with a small tug it came apart. Slipping his hands inside, he swept the fabric away, banishing it to the floor.

Blair's fingers fumbled with his trousers as he kissed her earnestly. _I'm undressing a man _she thought, making her heart beat even more wildly. She was excited, if a little anxious. It was all so new to her. She pushed his trousers and underwear down- they were both naked now. His hands fanned out against her back, pulling her tight against him, naked skin met naked skin, her tongue slid into his mouth. As they kissed, Blair grew more eager as she felt the heat and hardness of his erection pressing against the flat of her stomach.

Chuck's mind was hazy with bliss. He had wanted this- dreamed of this, for weeks. Pulling his mouth from hers, he smiled, and stared into her beautiful eyes as he knelt down to scoop her up into his arms. He laid her down so gently onto his bed and she caressed his cheek. Only after taking in the sight of her naked form did he join her; he ran his hand along one of her pale, slender thighs. He watched them part and he lowered himself onto the bed, between her legs. He kissed her mouth again, soaking in the feel of her body beneath him, controlling the urge to claim her when he could feel her, just… right there. He started kissing down her body, intending to give her more pleasure. She was already moaning, her fingers tangled in his hair as he kissed further down. She squirmed under him as his mouth reached her stomach. She pulled on his hair painfully hard, pulling him back up to her face.

"We have all night," Blair growled at him, "Take me now, Chuck, I need you."

He smirked at her, _and here I was concerned with being sweet and gentle_, he thought. He settled his hips against hers, and pinned her hands above her head; he wanted to watch, un-obscured, to begin. Ever so deliciously, so very slowly, he pressed into her, feeling the heat of her body taking him deeper and deeper, and then… no deeper. He hated the thought that it was going to cause her pain, but he would spend the rest of the night making it up to her. He leaned down to kiss her mouth as he pulled out and then; forcefully he rammed into her, feeling her body arch beneath him, she turned her head from their kiss, crying out in a sob of pain as he broke through, sinking even deeper into her body.

Chuck captured her lips again as he stilled inside her, letting her feel him. He felt her lips tremble against his as he pulled out. Lifting his head, he watched her face as he began to slowly thrust into her.

Blair kept her eyes closed, and bit her lip as her body adjusted to him. Sooner than she would have expected, the pain ebbed away and melted into pleasure. The small waves of pleasure relaxed her, and she opened her eyes to see Chuck staring intensely down at her. Her heart fluttered in her chest from something all together different than from giving in to her lust.

He watched her face- no, her whole body, transition from pain and discomfort to relaxing into his motion and becoming pleasurable. When she opened her eyes, he drank in the fiery brown pools that stared up at him. Letting go of her hands, he reached one hand down to where they were coupled. His hand spread across her stomach as he pulled out almost completely. Hearing her whimper he said, "You want to feel me deep inside you, don't you Blair?"

There was no need for a response, and as he slid back into her, his fingers pressed into her soft flesh of her lower abdomen, feeling her body change as he filled her, "Feel how deep I am in you?"

He pushed his hips into hers that much harder and his cock flexed inside her. He smiled as Blair cried with pleasure, her eyes rolled back, and she writhed against him, wanting more.

"Tell me," He commanded, as he moved ever so slowly inside her, "Are you tired of me treating you like a virgin yet?"

Blair's eyes snapped open, her body trembled a moment, and she gave him a cold stare before grabbing his hair, pulling him down to her. She kissed him furiously, every ounce of the weeks of pent up lust spilling forth as she wrapped her legs around his waist.

He began thrusting in earnest, but he broke their kiss- she still had not answered his question. "Blair," he growled, "tell me."

His head dropped to bite her neck, making her cry.

"Fuck…" she hissed, "Oh god… fuck me, Chuck, please!" She pleaded.

And he did, faster and harder, he fucked her, riding her with reckless abandon as she clung to him in ecstasy. Her nails raked down his back, biting into his skin, as she cried out. It was all too much; his cock ached as he filled her over and over again, never enough. His movements became erratic as he pushed, harder… faster… his body tensed. He revealed in crying out Blair's name as him came, at last, his cock bursting inside _her_.

* * *

**AN:** **Chapter title taken from the epic dark AU story by the incredible The Very Last Valkyrie. **

**Blair's dress: Raina's dress from 4x18 in black.  
**


	12. Definitions of Bliss

Chapter Twelve:

Definitions of Bliss

"Stop it." Chuck grumbled. Blair was curled up against him, her head resting on his chest. He could feel her smile and he knew what she was thinking.

"I wasn't doing anything." She pouted, even though she knew.

"I know what you're thinking." _I know you_. He purred in her ear, "You're not a virgin anymore."

He heard her sigh happily as he ran his hand along her body. He moved to untangle himself and slip out of bed, listening to her protest. He picked her up in his arms and carried her towards the bathroom, "You said we had _all_ night."

He sat her in the bathtub and turned on the lights, she cried, "It's cold! And bright!"

Blair covered her eyes for a moment as he turned the faucet on. Peaking through her fingers she watched Chuck reach out and touch her thigh. Her eyes fell on the smear of blood on her legs and her heart pounded in her chest, seeing the undeniable truth written on her body. As the tub filled, she watched with wide eyes as he cleaned the blood away with a washcloth. He turned his head and smiled at her.

"There, all better." His eyes were hazel and gold as he looked at her. She leaned in and kissed him; Serena was right- he was amazing. And gorgeous; he pulled away and she silently watched him as he dumped oil and bubble bath into the tub. The slight tone of his body as he moved, seeing the hair that started at his chest and ran all the way down to _there_. She blushed a little, embarrassed at her thoughts; she distracted herself by tying her hair into a knot at her neck and enjoying the feel of the warm water.

Chuck slipped in the large bathtub behind her, his arms wrapping around her waist, pulling her against him. Her head lay back on his chest and he heard her sigh. They lay together, relaxed, one of his hands caressing the soft, sensitive underside of her breast.

"Are you upset?" Chuck murmured.

"Mm, no. Should I be?" Blair replied, feeling only blissful, she wondered why she should be upset.

"You didn't come." His free hand snaked down between her legs, his fingers stroked against her.

"Oh…" Her body jolted as his finger circled her clit. Blair became intensely aware of the tightness inside her; she did not just want to come, she _needed_ to come. Excitement rose at the idea of coming with him inside her. She focused her thoughts, and clearing her throat she said, "What do you suppose we do about it?"

"First," Chuck kissed his favorite spot on her neck, evoking a moan from her, "proper foreplay."

He reached for a sponge, and immersing it in the water, he spoke softly to her, "The stunning thing about virgins," he pressed the sponge onto her back, watching rivulets form and run down her skin, "they are a blank canvas of pleasure."

His fingers traced over the notches of the vertebrae in her spine, he leaned down and pressed his lips behind her ear. "We can try anything… everything… to learn what pleases you."

"What do you get out of it?" Blair queried, her voice uneven as his hands came around to cup her breasts, his thumbs making delicious circles around her pert nipples.

"The challenge…" He kissed her ear, "the exploration…" he kissed her other ear, "the knowledge that I am the only man in the world who will know how to bring you to your knees…" his hand dropped between her legs, making her tremble as he touched her, "make you beg with want, and cry out my name." Chuck kissed her neck, his teeth grazed the skin as he sucked on her, making her gasp and cry out.

Blair bit her lip at the promise in his words. Just the thought of what he was saying made her want to climb into his lap and escape into the white light that flooded her mind when he was inside of her. She breathed out a small moan. She heard the low rumble of a chuckle.

"I suppose I should not be quite so surprised you enjoy it when I talk dirty to you. I imagine you might like being pushed around a bit too, told what to do, no?"

She blushed, but her heartbeat quickened; she did like the idea. Chuck was strong, and powerful. She wanted to feel that.

"Up." He pushed her away from him, "Sit on the ledge and open your legs."

Rising from the tub, she complied, sitting on the edge of the bathtub, the water lapping around her ankles. Hiding in the darkness, it was easier to submit to pleasure. But now… her cheeks were a furious shade of pink, and a modicum of embarrassment kept her from opening her legs to him.

"Blair, open your legs." Chuck commanded, moving to kneel in front of her. She submitted this time, but turned her head to look away from him. He reached up and turned her face to him, "And you will watch me, until you no longer can because your eyes have rolled back in pleasure."

Her eyes were wide, and she bit her lip once more as she watched his head drop down between her thighs. She leaned back against the wall behind her as his fingers spread her apart and his tongue reached inside her body, sending tremors through her.

Chuck moaned at the taste of her and his tongue reached deeper. He slipped a finger inside, listening to her moan his name, her fingers curling in his hair. Adding a second finger, he moved his mouth up, and blew on her clit, smiling as he listened to her cry with pleasure. He wrapped his tongue around her clit, sucking it as his fingers stroked her. She shook against him with want.

Gripping his hair harder, she pushed his face down, "Oh god, Chuck…. Please!" She was so very close, just a little more. His fingers worked her faster, and then, with the simple flick of his tongue against her clit, Blair was spiraling through ecstasy. Chuck's fingers continued to press into her as she slowly came down, her hips still rolling against his hand. When she at last stilled, he pulled his fingers away, his tongue licking one long stroke, tasting her full pleasure. The eyes she could not remember closing slowly came open to the sight of Chuck licking his fingers clean, that smirk on his face. The orgasm that had just swept through her was rendered useless by the look in his eyes, his naked body so close to hers. She wanted- needed more of him.

Chuck helped her out of the bathtub. He was still grinning as he watched her move, the turn of the soft curves of her body. As he watched her reach out for a towel, desire bolted through him, his need overriding everything else. He pushed her forward, catching her hips in his hands as she cried his name and grabbed the counter top in front of her. Looking into the mirror, he saw her fiery brown eyes looking back at him. He leaned down; his hands cupped her breasts and his hips settled against hers, the head of his cock pressing ever so slightly into her wet opening from behind.

"Shall we see if you like it like this?" His voice was thick with desire and he felt her want as she tightened around the small part of his cock that had just barely moved inside her, her body begging for more.

"Unless…" He slowly pulled his hips back, his eyes staring into the reflection of hers in the mirror, "it is too soon… you don't want this?"

"No!" Blair gasped, pushing her hips back against him.

"My, my, so needy already." He lightly pinched her nipples, making her cry out as he slowly filled her. He groaned with pleasure when they were at last fully coupled; she was so tight around him and he held her there, grinding himself against her, reaching that tiny bit further into her delicious body. He watched as she sighed, her eyes closing, her head dropping down.

"No," Chuck growled, one hand snaked up her chest, his hand wrapping around her neck, forcing her head up. "You will watch as I fuck you."

Blair's eyes were a haze of brown and black as she stared up at his reflection in the mirror. All she could think, looking at him, was how gorgeous he was wrapped around her- inside of her. He was thrusting into her in earnest now, and she panted for more. She gripped the countertop so hard her hands hurt; she was on the precipice, so close it ached inside. She could barely keep her eyes open now, and his name fell from her lips, begging, "Chuck…"

His grin was wicked as the hand that was not grasping her neck slid down to tweak the spot that would give her release. It took but a few gentle caresses to have her shake and tremble against him. "That's right…" He moaned in her ear, "Come all over me."

Blair gasped, her eyes at last rolling back. Cursing and crying his name as she came, her body tightened around him even more. His hands moved to her hips, and she half opened her eyes to look at his reflection, a blissful smile on her face.

He saw her looking at him, and that did it. Those brown eyes, glazed over in ecstasy, staring at him. Chuck gritted his teeth with that final thrust, halfway pulling out as he felt her body try to desperately hold on to him, only serving to milk him harder.

Blair cried out when he refused to bury himself deep inside her as he came. Blair felt his hips still as he pulsed inside her. A few moments passed before Chuck pulled out of her completely, and she pouted in disapproval. When she moved to stand upright, he stopped her.

"No, you stay right there, I want to watch." Chuck was not looking at her in the mirror, but down at her sex. His left hand ran over her ass and along her thigh as he watched.

"You wanted to be a bad girl, well… now you are properly fifthly." His grin was broad as his eyes flicked up to look at her for a moment.

Blair flushed, and her body instinctively clenched at the memory of him inside her. She heard him murmur with approval before she felt it- wetness, coating her. She felt horrified and embarrassed as Chuck's come dripped and slowly slid down her leg. She started but he held her still.

"No… it's beautiful. I loved feeling you come all over my cock. Now, you're feeling me run down your legs." His hand continued to caress her for a few long moments before he was satisfied with her. He lightly smacked her ass, a petulant smile on his face.

"Clean up, and then maybe I'll let you think about sleeping." Chuck sauntered back to the bed.

Her feelings were initially mixed at his _gift_, but Blair found herself grinning with secret delight. What he had done was so dirty, it excited her, and something about the act made her feel it was somehow possessive. Weariness at last began to settle in however, as she slid under the covers next to him. Chuck felt so warm, as she curled up next to him. She drank in the feel of his body pressed against hers. "Sleep?"

Chuck's arm came up and pulled her closer. "For now." He murmured, pressing a kiss against her forehead.

* * *

Blair rolled over and smashed her face into something warm. She grumbled and inhaled deeply. _Chuck_, why could she smell Chuck…? _Oh god!_ Her eyes fluttered open. Early morning light fell through the narrow slits of the blinds above them. Chuck lay next to her on his back, one arm lying above his head. His face was relaxed, stubble ran along his jawline, his hair was a tousled mess that tugged at her heart and made her smile.

Her eyes traveled down his body. He had pushed nearly all the sheets aside, and with a small tug, his naked body was on full display. Blair sat for a moment, absorbing the knowledge of it all. For her sixteenth birthday she had tormented Chuck Bass until he could not take it any longer, in which she came to him, gave him her virginity, had sex a second time, and then slept through the night with him. A giant smile spread across her face. For this moment, it was a delicious secret, no one but her and Chuck knew that this had happened, and she felt wild and free as she remembered the feel of him, the sound of him urging her on. Her hand reached up and caressed the diamond around her neck as she stared awhile longer at his body in beautiful repose.

Until the naughtiness began to creep in- he was naked. Chuck had given her so much pleasure the night before. He had been sweet, and dirty, and… just the thought of what they had done aroused her need. She also thought she knew of a wonderful way of waking him. Ever so slowly, she crept down to the center of the bed. She licked her lips, pulled her hair back, and leaned down, wrapping her mouth around his cock. He quickly grew hard in her mouth as her tongue stroked him.

Chuck moaned, his mind felt so fuzzy, and his hands instinctively flew to where the waves of pleasure his body was registering were radiating from. His fingers tangled in long hair, and he knew he was not dreaming. His brain was still offline, and half dazed, he opened his eyes. He knew that long brown hair… Blair. And suddenly he was _that _much harder, and the memory of last night came back to him. She took him deep into her mouth just then and he groaned.

"Fuck… Blair…" Chuck pulled her off of him, hungrily kissing her, grasping her hips, dragging her to sit astride him. She let out little giggles until she sighed with pleasure as he penetrated her.

Blair leaned over him, her hands curled in little fists, grasping the sheets; her nipples grazed his chest as her hips ground against his. The friction felt heavenly, and he was buried so fantastically deep inside her. She pouted when he pulled away from their kiss.

"Isn't it amazing, Blair?" He whispered in her ear, "How quickly a teasing little virgin can become such a dirty vixen."

Chuck then dropped his head to her neck, his teeth scraping the skin as he sucked hard. She gasped, rocking back as his hands wrapping tighter around her hips. Without even needing to touch her, he watched as she threw her head back and cried out, her body shook and trembled as the orgasm rippled through her.

The sight of her in so much pleasure; the curve of her long neck, dusty pink nipples atop her creamy full breast, the flat of her stomach extending down to where his large hands wrapped around her waist sent that final surge of blood through his cock.

"Yes… fuck… Blair…" His eyes rolled back as she rode him hard through the final waves of her climax. Chuck's hips jerked against hers as he groaned, his pleasure flooding into her for the third time. Their hips slowed from rocking, and Blair curled up upon his chest in her post-orgasm bliss. Chuck simply stroked her hair, smiling. Once their heartbeats had finally slowed, their skin cooled, he at last jostled her, thinking perhaps she may have fallen asleep.

"Come on, this is the not fun part."

Blair protested as his hips moved beneath hers, "No, I don't want you to…"

His cock was still rather hard as he slipped out from inside her.

"Leave me." She finished, rolling to her side, sighing and pouting up at him.

"You are just trying to prove what I said, aren't you?" Chuck grinned, kissing her forehead.

"I have no idea what you are referring to." She gave him a petulant look.

"That overnight you've become a complete vixen." He growled in her ear, pulling her close and kissing the spot on her neck that always made her moan.

Blair reveled in the feel of him holding her- he felt so amazing. Her eyes began to glaze over with lust as he kissed her, but not before they fell on the clock setting on his nightstand first. She gasped, pushing him away.

"Is that the time? Oh my…" She clamored up from the bed.

"Hey, where are you going?" Chuck objected.

"My mother will be home from Paris in an hour! We are to have brunch together for my birthday." Blair returned with her overnight bag only to move directly into the bathroom.

Chuck unhappily extracted himself from the bed and followed her. A pink frock dress hung from the door, her womanly accouterments were haphazardly scattered across the bathroom counter. Blair had just stepped under the shower, and he swallowed, watching the water roll over her skin. He grew hard instantly, groaning to himself. _We just had sex…_ He saw the diamond glimmer around her neck as he stepped in behind her.

"Hey." His hand moved toward her neck, "You shouldn't wear this in the shower."

"No!" Blair hands flew up to grasp the stone, "I don't want to take it off." _Ever._

"If you're sure." He smiled at her, "Just take good care of it, yeah?"

She gave him a giant smile in return, "I will, I promise."

"Now," He poured her shampoo in his hand and began washing her hair, "how are you going to make it through brunch with your mother?"

"By secretly stabbing myself with a fork underneath the table?" Her voice dripped with sarcasm. The water rinsed the shampoo from her long hair as the smile slowly slipped from her face, and the twinkle in her eyes went matte, her mind picturing how the brunch would most likely turn out.

Chuck saw this and grasped her shoulders, "Don't do that. It doesn't help."

Blair looked up at him, her eyes wide, "I don't know what more I can do. I've done everything she's ever asked, done all I could think of to please her…"

Images flashed in her mind of her mother's general indifference or all the times she disapproved, making offhanded comments about Blair's appearance or behavior. Her eyes welled up and she sniffed, trying to hold on to her collected demeanor. Chuck's hand came up to caress her cheek, his brown eyes full of concern.

"You really don't see it, do you?"

Blair flushed under the intensity of his gaze, and she had to look away. She had no idea what he could be talking about, but she felt hot, and her heart thudded wildly in her chest.

He pulled her against his body, his mouth burned against her ear, like the words he was whispering.

"God, you are so incredible." He half moaned, "So smart, and driven… and so beautiful."

The feel of her body against him had instantly made him hard again. Lust swept through him at her nearness, her soft mouth, her supple breasts pressing into his skin. "Fuck, Blair," Chuck gasped, "Look what you do to me…"

Her hands came up to his face, looking into his eyes before she leaned up and kissed him. He drank in the feel of her perfect mouth on his; she was much too good for him- so many things he was not. Yet she was more than that, and he ached with the need she caused to boil hot in his blood. He spun her around, pushing her against the wall. Picking her up, she wrapped her legs around him, allowing him to slip blissfully inside her once more.

It was hot and raw. His fingers dug deep into her skin, he panted and groaned as he brutally fucked her. Something had clicked inside him and he had to possess her. It was hard, and much too fast. More, more, more… it pounded in his ears as he pounded into her.

Blair found herself in a haze of elation. His lack of restraint, the near violence of his need after so much, it pleased her. She held onto him, gripping his shoulders just as hard, if not harder, than he was her. In a daze she panted and whimpered, consumed by her climax, she cried out to him.

Her cries of pleasure sent him over the edge. Chuck shuddered, and rocked her hips against his as he spent himself inside her once more. With as much care as he could manage, he lowered her back down to the ground and then leaned against the wall, exhausted.

Blair simply could not stand. Her legs wobbled beneath her, and she sank down to the ground. She was half dizzy; her eyes still clouded over with pleasure as she leaned her head back to look up at Chuck. His eyes looked the same as hers.

Silence stretched out between them, the only sound from the water splashing against the floor. At last, Blair managed to breathe out what had been spinning though her mind, "What… was that?"

Chuck half smirked at her, his voice hoarse from their exertions, "That… was what you do to me."

She swallowed, biting her lip a moment, her only response, "Oh."

Feeling his own strength again, he reached down to help her from the floor. "Time to get you to your mother, come on."

Chuck behaved himself for the rest of his time with Blair. He just… watched her. He made her smile by letting her apply shaving cream to his face. He fought her for her towel, so he could slowly towel her dry, leaving a trail of kisses all over her body. Finally, she goaded him out of the bathroom when she could not take his distractions anymore. So he dressed, every so often glancing at the bathroom door, waiting for it to open.

At last, she stood in the doorway. Grasping the doorframe, she leaned over, adjusting the pink heel on her right foot. Soft, loose brown curls tumbled over her shoulder; the pink dress was cute and sweet, yet sophisticated, and as she leaned down, a soft blush of the top of her breasts peaked out, his diamond twinkling above.

Her shoe fixed, Blair looked up to him, her pink glossy lips smiling. Chuck was gorgeous all in gray and purple, oddly in a complimentary color palette.

"Time to go." Her little smile was laced with sadness.

Chuck walked her down to his waiting limo. He pressed her against the car, holding her tight to him, giving her a last blissful kiss goodbye before she slipped away from him.

In their passionate embrace, neither of them caught sight of the classmate taking a photo of them with his cellphone.

* * *

**AN: Chapter title from Sky Samuelle's post 2x25 collection of dirty encounters.**

**Adoration for the lovely Georgia (CheeryFan/Atalanta) for beta reading this chapter! **

**Tiny reminder: It's fantasy. Be smart in the bedroom.**


	13. Life Through A Lens

Chapter Thirteen:

Life Through A Lens

Blair was relieved to find she had arrived home before her mother. She unpacked her overnight bag, smiling to herself. She felt so alive, like a new person. She sat down at her vanity, to check her appearance before undergoing her mother's scrutiny. Seeing her smiling reflection, the diamond sparkling at her throat, her heart fluttered, and she wanted to feel this way always.

Dorota called her down for brunch, and Blair greeted her mother at the table.

"Hello mother. How was Paris?" Blair had to work at being her usual placid self, though the thought that her mother might notice a change in her was a funny idea.

"Busy, always, busy. If it is not something at the atelier, it's something with the suppliers. I will barely be home long enough to have brunch!" Eleanor spoke, as she started in on her fruit plate.

_Of Course._ "Serena threw me a nice party yesterday at her penthouse," Blair offered, trying to maintain some level of conversation.

"Oh, yes, happy birthday, my dear." Eleanor patted Blair's hand across the table, "Serena has such wonderful taste, I'm sure it was a lovely party."

Blair had to stop herself from rolling her eyes, _why did I mention Serena?_ Her hand drifted up to Chuck's necklace, fingering the stone, trying to soothe her thoughts. The sparkle caught Eleanor's eye.

"What a lovely necklace. Have I seen it before?" She queried, furrowing her brow.

"No, it was a birthday present from a friend." Blair had to rein in her smile.

"What a lovely gift." Eleanor returned to her meal without another word on the necklace.

Blair was not surprised by her response, yet she could not believe her mother would accept such an answer. Eleanor expected someone who was _just_ a friend to Blair to give such an item as a present? That did not come across as odd or suspicious? This could perhaps be… fun, she decided.

"School is going well. The Snowflake Ball is going to be fantastic. Did I tell you where it is to be held?" Blair chattered.

"No. Last year was so beautiful, it must be so much pressure on you to attempt to reach such a level of perfection as the previous chairwoman accomplished."

Blair normally would have been offended by her mother's jab, but she was too happy, and having too much fun to let it phase her. "We're hosting it in the Grand Ballroom at the Plaza, actually. It's going to be stunning. I had help from a wonderful friend of mine, and it's all completely in budget. The committee is quite excited, the event is going to be amazing."

_Score one for Blair, and two indirect mentions of Chuck._

"My, the Plaza! That is quite the accomplishment." Eleanor declined to say anymore, unsure how to respond to such an undeniable success and instead changed the topic.

"I have to fly back to Paris at the end of the week. Your father has invited us to celebrate Thanksgiving with him and Roman in Paris. Since I do not want you to have to choose between us, I agreed to this. You will be all right flying by yourself?"

_Paris? Papa!_ Blair was beyond excited, and a huge smile swept across her face, "Of course!"

Eleanor gave her daughter a stern look, "Good, be sure to let him know your flight information by the end of the week."

They both heard the sound of the elevator and saw Serena walk into the foyer. She lit up when she saw her friend, "B! Oh, I'm sorry Ms. Waldorf! I thought you had already finished brunch."

"Oh, it's fine, Serena. You are looking quite lovely today, what a fantastic ensemble."

"Thank you, Ms. Waldorf. If it's okay…" Serena looked at Blair.

"You two go on, I need to get to work soon anyway." Eleanor smiled at the girl. She watched as her daughter began to leave the table.

"Don't forget about your father, Blair." She chided.

"I won't!" Blair smiled, and the two girls went up to Blair's room.

Serena pushed Blair's door shut behind her, "Oh my god, Blair, what happened?"

Blair furrowed her brow, completely confused, "What? What are you talking about?"

Serena pulled out her phone: a picture of Chuck pressing Blair against his limo as they kissed- from this morning, followed by some text beneath:

_My, my, what is the shining princess of the UES_

_Doing in the arms of the most infamous playboy in town?_

_We all saw you two dancing last night,_

_But Chuck Bass went home alone._

_My bet is there is one less flower in New York this morning._

_You know you love me,_

_xoxo_

_Gossip Girl_

Blair's jaw dropped and she promptly sat on her bed. She looked up at her best friend, "What is this?"

"It's a website that started not too long ago. Sometimes… my exploits have made it onto her page, it's kind of shameful. I never thought I'd see you on her page… or this! Blair…" Serena gave her friend a questioning look.

"What?" Blair tried to feign ignorance, but a pale pink started to creep across her cheeks, despite her best efforts.

"Oh my… really?" A huge smile spread across Serena face, as she hugged her best friend.

Blair mumbled into her friend's hair, "I barely got home before mom got back from Paris."

Serena pulled back, "Oh, that is too good! Blair! I'm just so…" She shook her head, still smiling.

"Now, you two were… you know… safe, right?" She put on her serious, motherly face.

Blair's pale pink cheeks turned an even more intense shade. "I've… been on the pill for a few months now…."

"How did I miss that?" Serena smiled, "You sneaky girl. So… was he all Chuck Bass is famed for being?"

"S!"

"Oh come on… I'm your best friend! Tell me, tell me!" Serena begged.

Blair looked down, playing with the hem of her dress, "It was really good… just… yeah. I mean… what do I know? Just that I'm really _really_ sore. At least I'm not walking funny?"

Serena laughed and playfully bumped against her friend, "Um, you know if it feels good, and makes you feel happy and sexy."

"Then…" Blair looked up at Serena, smiling with a hint of sheepishness, "it was the most wonderful, amazing thing ever."

Serena smiled back at her friend, "That is so wonderful, B. You're so lucky!" she giggled a little, "So, what does he look like first thing in the morning? He can't look _that_ put together even in his sleep?"

Blair laughed, and the two girls sprawled out on the bed, chatting happily, "Well, his hair is a beautiful mess, and he has this bit of dark gold stubble along his jawline…"

* * *

At the same time, Nate and Chuck were lounging in Chuck's suite, smoking pot.

"Man, you always get the best weed." Nate mumbled before taking a long drag on the joint.

"I'm Chuck Bass," Chuck replied, exhaling from his own joint, watching the swirls of smoke.

"So, what's up with you and that girl, Blair? I saw some picture of you two lip locked earlier."

"Really?"

"Yeah, there was some snarky line about you going home alone, but you two were together this morning, saying you totally took her last night." Nate continued on.

"My, how the rumor mill has become so much more efficient." Chuck drawled.

"So, did you?" Nate's interest was piqued.

"Ms. Waldorf and I passed a delightful evening together, it is true."

"Finally man!" Nate was congratulatory, "It will be good to have my boy back; I was starting to miss all your stories. You haven't slept with anyone in weeks. Really, I was getting quite worried."

"Well..." Chuck pondered what his friend was saying. He was not quite ready to be done with Blair. Last night… last night was just the beginning- it was not the end.

"Really?" Nate sputtered.

"It was rather interesting. She was different from other virgins." Chuck offered.

"But… but you're Chuck Bass! You're going to sleep with the same girl more than once?"

"Now, now, Nate. It's a project- a challenge. Imagine what I could make out of this quiet, demur, little virgin?" Chuck countered, imagining all the things he wanted to do to Blair; all the different places and ways he wanted her. It was not so much that last night was the best sex he had ever had, but there was something about her. She did something to him; that last time, in the shower. That was new, and deep down inside, it excited him. He took a deep, long drag on his joint to mellow the feeling, and his thoughts. _I adore her_.

"That could be quite interesting. I guess I don't object, as long as you don't become a total stick in the mud." Nate pondered, staring at the small nub remaining of his joint.

"Another joint?" Chuck offered, smiling, a promise, to his friend.

* * *

That night, Blair sank into her deep bathtub. She leaned her head back and sighed. Her thighs still ached from… everything. A wicked grin appeared on her face, recalling all of the incredible sex she and Chuck had last night- and this morning. She sank a little deeper into the tub, embarrassed and excited now that she was at last alone, the reality of what they had done sinking in.

Her excitement started to cool, to be replaced with apprehension. Now what? She did exactly what he had said she would do. Blair came to him, offered herself to him, and begged him to take her.

She did not regret it. She was getting hot and bothered just at the thought of all they had done. But, what was it going to do to Chuck?

Her stomach turned as she realized this was Chuck Bass she had slept with. And that photo? _Oh god._

She was suddenly tempted to drown herself in the bathtub. Everyone at school would know by the morning, if they did not already. The photo was not even proof of anything except them kissing this morning. But that stupid Gossip Girl had to insinuate what had… well, actually happened.

It all came back to Chuck. If he did not abandon her, there was hope. Hope for what? Blair huffed. So much of this depended on Chuck and _his_ decisions. She was just going to have to play it cool and see where this would go.

She fell asleep that night, thinking of his warm hands on her, and remembering the sex they were having this time last night.

* * *

The next morning, Blair was smiling, still having happy, dirty, thoughts as she walked out of her building. Chuck was waiting for her, looking cool and collected. There was only a slight hesitation in her step at the realization that he was there. Her heart skipped a beat.

"Hey." He murmured.

"Hi." Blair smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning up to kiss him deeply.

Chuck breathed her in, absorbed the feel of her body pressing against his. It all combined to make him grow hard, his khakis now feeling rather uncomfortable. Her mouth pulled away from his, but he would not let her go. He whispered in her ear, "Now, it is a good morning."

Blair laughed a little, and kissed his cheek, "Come on, off to school. If you're not good, I can't reward your angelic behavior later."

Chuck quirked his eyebrow at her, "I thought you liked me for my less than angelic behavior?" and pinched her ass.

"Chuck!" She scowled at him, but took his arm anyway, as they turned to walk to school.

Not a minute later, Eleanor left the building as well, catching a glimpse of her daughter walking to school- with a boy. From behind, she did not recognize him beyond the regulatory St. Jude's uniform. She paused for a moment, slightly stunned. But she shook it off, something to deal with later.

Blair leaned her head against him as they walked. She was happy, but her mind wandered to the photo. She wondered if his reaction to it might tell her something of his thoughts on her. That he was even here… it gave her hope.

"Chuck… have you seen the photo on that gossip site?"

He was also pondering the same question. "Yes. You've seen it too?"

"Serena showed it to me. What… do you think of it?" Blair spoke very carefully.

"Well… I'm Chuck Bass. My exploits are legendary." Chuck had a playful yet proud smirk on his face, "You on the other hand…"

He paused and looked at her with consideration, "What do you think about it?"

"I think it's rather annoying. Don't people have better things to do than stalk around taking photos?" Blair acted rather indignant. Inside, she was relieved that he was not affected by the incident.

"Really?" Chuck was surprised, how was she not horrified by the photo's implications? Everyone at school would know- well, suspect, what had happened between them that night. He was Chuck Bass, and that photo was enough to ruin her.

"That picture tells no one anything they haven't seen before." Blair knew it was not true, but at the same time, she was still right. They were only kissing in the picture. Part of what happened next was Chuck's choice, and that was the important part. They arrived at school, and she turned to look at him, a little smile on her lips.

"Speaking of before… care to give them all a reminder?"

Chuck needed no other encouragement. He needed another fix to get him through the day. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her. The feel of her was addicting. When he let her ago, he saw her brown eyes had glazed over a little, and it made him want to forget school. He wanted her naked again, to feel her heat, her wetness. _Not again!_ He mentally groaned, a little exasperated with the intensity of the effect she had on him.

Blair simply absorbed it all; his kiss, his touch, it was all heaven. He was Chuck Bass, and all she wanted was to be with him. The haze in her eyes cleared at that thought, making her heart ache a little. She gave him a quick kiss on the lips and playfully winked at him before walking off to join Serena.

Blair and Serena held a united front in the hallways against the whispers, while Chuck experienced reverent stares and smiles from his classmates. Blair knew as long as Chuck did not leave her, it would get better… though, at the same time, it seemed like such a small issue. What mattered most was that Blair could not stand the thought of Chuck leaving her.

* * *

Tuesday was a repeat performance. To distract Blair during lunch, Serena asked what Blair was planning for Thanksgiving the next week.

"Oh! I didn't tell you? I'm going to Paris! We are all going to have Thanksgiving together."

"B! That's fantastic! You'll get to see your father and be in Paris. Promise to eat some macarons for me?" Serena requested.

"You know… you could come with me?" Blair suggested.

"Your dad won't mind?"

"I'll ask, but I doubt it! We can run around Paris together!" The girls squealed in excitement.

"I wonder what Chuck will do for Thanksgiving?" Blair pondered.

"Not much, I imagine. Can you really see Chuck and the mighty Bart Bass sitting down and eating turkey together?" Serena had trouble seeing the father and son sharing a meal together like a normal family.

Blair too had trouble imaging it, and her heart ached to think of Chuck alone in his suite for the long weekend. No turkey, no pie…. No family. "What if…"

"What if… what?" Serena was not following.

"What if we asked him to come with us?" Blair was sheepish as she spoke the words.

"Oh! We could take him shopping!" Serena bounced in her seat at the thought of getting to dress Chuck Bass.

Blair rolled her eyes, "Do you think of anything beyond partying and shopping?"

"Of course!" Serena instantly calmed down, acting insulted a moment before a huge smile broke across her face. "You!"

"Oh S!" She hugged her friend, "Do you think he'll come?"

"Well, if the way he kisses you is anything to go by…" Serena pulled out of the hug and winked.

Blair scowled at Serena's teasing, "Fine, I'll ask him. Are you sure _you_ don't mind?"

"Hey, I can share. I promise!" Serena laughed.

* * *

Wednesday afternoon, Chuck and Blair took a quiet walk through Central Park after school. Blair hung on Chuck's arm, chatting about school and the plans for the ball. Eventually, they came to sit together in the park, snacking on their favorite candy. It was a gloomy day, but it did not dampen the happy contentment of the couple. Chuck was the first to speak at this point, curious to experience something new.

"Did I ever tell you?" He watched as Blair looked up at him with wide eyes, "I didn't fail my test on Much Ado About Nothing."

A sweet smile spread across Blair's face. A memory from a time not so long ago, but a very different place than they were now. She had been so happy these past few days, and now, Chuck had gone and passed an exam- and part of that was because of her?

"Chuck, that's so wonderful!" Blair excitedly threw her arms around him and gave him a giant kiss on the cheek.

She then pulled away, and trying to act cool after her display of affection she inquired, "So, in the end, what did you end up finding the most interesting?"

Chuck smiled at her. He felt so warm all over; the sensation welled up inside of him as his brain pondered her question. "The lengths that Prince John went to, the people around him he would take down, just to damage his brother. It's so prevalent through the entire story."

"It's amazing how an accident of birth can define who we let ourselves become." Blair replied.

"Do you let being a Waldorf define you?" He asked.

She laughed a little, "Of course, but not too much I hope? My biggest weakness would be my father though. It's true I want Yale for myself, but I wanted it for him first. It can also help us define who we do _not_ want to be." Blair thought of her mother.

"I can't imagine _not_ being Bart Bass' son." Chuck felt his contentment begin to slip.

She reached out and took his powerful hand in her two small ones, "Would you consider being a Waldorf for the holidays?"

Chuck looked at her sweet face and furrowed his brow in confusion.

"I thought maybe you'd like to come with Serena and I to Paris for Thanksgiving? We'd stay with my father, but we'd be out most of the time, enjoying the city, partying. You know… just having a good time," Blair shrugged her shoulders, like what she was asking was nothing so very special.

"I…." Chuck was speechless for a moment, as his mind processed the invitation. Thanksgiving- with people, with a family… with Blair. His chest felt tight, his head a little fuzzy from the odd excitement. He had reconciled himself to a long weekend without Nate, without his father. Alone. He had not been away from Blair for so long either… now, now he would be almost alone with her, away from the prying eyes of the city. He could explore her more… Yes, he liked this idea.

"Would it be okay with your family?" He wondered.

"I'll ask Papa when I call him tomorrow. If you and Serena come, I get to have all my favorite people with me." Blair hugged his arm.

Little bubbles of happiness fizzed inside of him at the sight of her, and he wanted to do something, his mind turning, "Let me know when you find out? I can reserve the jet for us."

"No…" Blair stared at him, "That's too much!"

"Not nearly enough, in my opinion."

Thunder cracked overhead and the gloomy clouds suddenly opened up above them, pouring down. Blair squealed; in seconds they were both soaking wet and neither had an umbrella. They rushed from the park, the nearest safe haven being Blair's home.

Realizing they could not fight the rain, they smiled, laughing as they held hands ducking under trees and hurrying towards Fifth Avenue. At last inside her building, they tumbled into the elevator, a sopping mess. Blair leaned against him, smiling, her eyes shining, as they both caught their breath. Chuck felt the pull of his attraction to her, and without the slightest overture or provocation, he swept her up in his arms and kissed her sweet mouth. She tasted like Skittles still and smelled of the fresh rain.

Blair's happy contentment bubbled into bliss as she melted against him. Her hands curled up in his wet blazer, his mouth hot against hers. Arriving at the penthouse, she was tangled in him as they somehow made it upstairs and into her room. She pushed the dark blue blazer from his shoulders, then unbuttoning his shirt as he worked to remove his pants. He then greedily tore the wet blouse that clung to her skin from her body. Blair let out a small laugh, "Perhaps I should make you take me shopping in Paris?"

"Anything…" Chuck rasped as he kissed her neck, his fingers unclasping her bra, "As long as I _take you_ in Paris."

Her skirt dropped to the floor, and he kissed down her body as he dragged her underwear and stockings down. His goal accomplished, he kissed her mouth again before they tumbled onto the great expanse of her bed. They touched, tasted, teased, and licked each other for minutes and minutes.

Blair grabbed his hair as he crept down her body, her breath panting, "Don't you even think about it.

Chuck kissed a circle around her belly button, murmuring, "About what?"

"Charles Bass, if you do not begin to fuck me in the next twenty seconds, we're going clubbing every single night we are in Paris."

He pulled himself back up her body, his hips sinking between hers, his cock throbbing against her opening.

"What have I created?" fell from his lips as he simultaneously kissed her lips and entered her. A low moan rumbled in his throat as her hot, tight body contracted around him. He rocked into her with a steady rhythm, not too slow, nor too fast. He reveled in the sensation as his eyes drank in the sight of her under him: the curve of her lips as she gasped, strands of dark wet hair clinging to her neck, the whiteness of her breasts tipped with rosy nipples.

Blair sighed when his hardness reached into her core. Her eyes closed instinctively as the pleasure of it all overwhelmed her body. She moved with him as he thrust, her fingers traveling across the wide expanse of his back. Chuck dropped a kiss on her mouth.

When he pulled away, Blair's eyes had opened, looking up at him. The haze of desire swirled in beautiful pools of dark brown. The sight of her shot right through him and his cock throbbed, growing painfully hard. His head dropped down and he breathed in her ear, commanding her, "Touch yourself, Blair."

"I…" She whispered; a flush of embarrassment came over her.

"Feel us connected." His voice was hoarse with lust.

Her hand slipped down from his back, over her stomach. Chuck shifted, holding himself higher, so her fingers could feel where she ended and he began as the shaft of him moved in and out of her.

"Fuck… Blair…" He rasped as her soft fingers touched him as he thrust, "Come with me."

He pounded into her, as she caressed the sweet spot that pushed her closer… and closer. She had closed her eyes in concentration, but she opened them, and saw him above her. Diffused light fell through the windows, giving him a soft, hazy glow, as her eyes traveled the line of his jaw, his furrowed brow dewed with a touch of sweat. Her breath caught at how beautiful he was, amplifying the sensation of him inside her, and making her heart swell and ache in her chest. Her body tightened and her fingers brushed against her clit.

"Chuck!" She cried, her back arching off the bed, her entire being seizing with pleasure.

"Yes…" Chuck moaned as she writhed against him, feeling her sex contract around his throbbing cock. His hips slammed into her one last time, as his essence spilled into her.

He held her close as they recovered, and thoughts of her floated through his mind. It occurred to him that what he was feeling was real happiness. He enjoyed being with her, and not just like this, naked, in post-coital bliss. When he was normally around people, it was to drink, do drugs, to escape being himself. But that was not what this was….

Blair pressed her hand against his chest and pulled it away, giggling, "We managed to get undressed, but we're still sticky…. Even stickier?"

Chuck smiled at her, "You mean, suddenly I'm just sticky? I'm no longer the most gorgeous man you've ever laid eyes on?"

Her eyes grew large as she looked up at him, her bottom lip pouting, "That's not what I meant! I'm getting cold… and I want to play with you in the shower."

His laugh was deep as he pulled her from the bed, kissing her.

* * *

The next day, Blair called her father in Paris. Thanks to Serena's presence on the trip, her father allowed Chuck to stay with them as well, though she could hear his concern about his daughter and a boy.

Fathers tend to not see a difference between _boy_ _friend_ and _boyfriend_, when the words are coming from their little girl's mouth. Harold Waldorf was also a lawyer, and he would assume the latter until he saw Blair and Chuck together for himself.

Blair was relieved that everything had fallen into place. She realized that she had to use Serena as a shield against her father, secret keeper from her mother, and a buffer against having to admit to Chuck's face that she thought of him as her boyfriend. _My…. Boyfriend…?_

Thank heaven for Serena van der Woodsen.

* * *

**AN: Title from uncorazonquebrado's sadly on hiatus fic. Such a fun story!**

**My undying love to Georgia (CheeryFan/Atalanta), to whom I could not have written this chapter without. Calling her my beta would be a disservice! **


	14. Not Your Autumn Moon

Chapter Fourteen:

Not Your Autumn Moon

Early Wednesday morning Blair stretched out happily under her covers. Pulling herself up, she glanced at the luggage at the foot of her bed, packed and ready for Paris. Showered and dressed, she was pulling her hair back in a chignon when her phone rang: a call from Serena.

Fear and horror clawed at her stomach as she listened to her friend prattle on. The car was coming in less than an hour, and Serena would not be coming with her. Blair's Thanksgiving with friends and family had suddenly veered into a holiday with Chuck Bass, the playboy she could not _call_ her boyfriend. But every thought and feeling in her told her that he was. She could not be the one to say it… it had to come from him first. _Oh god, I can't do this_.

Blair smoothed the line of her skirt and adjusted the soft lavender sweater. Her luggage was now in the lobby, and he would be here any minute. She sighed, realizing that once more, she was going to have to trust what came next to Chuck. He could come with her, or not. Either way, she was going to have to be strong. _Be strong…_

* * *

Blair met him outside when he arrived. Her anxiousness melted away at the sight of Chuck standing next to the limo. She was so used to seeing him in the yellow, blue and khaki of his St. Jude's uniform. The gray suit he wore now, hugged his beautiful body in all the right places. His white dress shirt was crisp, topped off with a pink bow tie, which matched her skirt. His eyes were hazel and gold as he looked at her, and she could not help but smile.

Chuck's mouth watered at the sight of Blair. The little pink skirt was demur hanging down to her knees, but hugged tightly to her hips. The lavender sweater was also sweet, peeking out from under her brocade coat. He reached out and wrapped his arms around her as she directed the doorman to load her luggage in the limo. With no words he kissed her in lieu of a hello.

When he pulled away, Blair's cheeks were flushed. She cleared her throat, trying to gather her senses, "Good morning."

"Quite." Chuck smiled at her. He lifted his head, looking to greet the leggy blonde accompanying them.

"Where's…."

"She's not coming." Blair's eyes instantly dropped to the ground, sheepishly admitting the fact that it was to be just the two of them.

"What?"

"Her grandmother arrived this morning, demanding that they have a family Thanksgiving. Cece Rhodes is not a woman to be taken lightly." Blair rambled a little in nervousness.

"So… it's just us?"

"Yes…I'm…I'm sorry, if you don't want to come along now, I understand."

"What? Why would I not go now?" He shook his head and took her hand, "Why would I want to be stuck here, alone, for the long weekend? And… just think how much more sex we can have without Serena around…" Chuck's reply was cocky, yet he was startled by her offer. For once he had a chance to not be alone, in his suite, or be ignored by his father in a vain attempt to appear to 'be a family' at a table full of strangers.

"Chuck…" Blair rolled her eyes. He smiled and led her into the limo.

Chuck gazed out the window as they drove, though his hand was resting on Blair's knee, caressing little circles with his fingertips. "Tell me about your family?"

"I…" Blair's eyes watched the movement of his hand on her knee, and she had to work to focus her thoughts on his question. "I figured you would know from the rumors? My father ran off with his boyfriend last spring, and now my parents are divorced. I think they're doing this- Thanksgiving, for me- no, I know they are. So don't be surprised if dinner is wrought with tension."

Blair's phone buzzed in her handbag, distracting her. She pulled it out and groaned.

_What is our princess thinking!_

_A long weekend- with Chuck Bass?_

_Where could they be going?_

_And we can only imagine the things_

_He will do to her._

_Let's hope her only regret will be_

_Eating too much turkey._

_You know you love me,_

_xoxo_

_Gossip Girl_

The text accompanied a photo of Chuck kissing her, as her luggage was being loaded into the limo, not five minutes ago.

Chuck looked down at the screen, "They just keep getting faster don't they?"

Blair shook her head, "If my parents saw this, what would they think of us?" She began to panic a little.

"What about _us_?" Chuck furrowed his brow, confused by the strain in her voice and the pale look on her face.

"Our… friendship." Blair's tongue felt overly large in her mouth as she spoke the words.

Chuck smirked at the uncomfortable expression on her face, his hand traveled up from her knee, slipping a little under her skirt. "Oh, you mean, would your parents want to know how much I enjoy watching you come all over my cock when you ride me?"

Her cheeks were a furious shade of pink; she was upset about the blast, and here he was seducing her. "I don't think that's quite what they'll be asking…"

His other hand reached across to tilt her chin, turning her so she might look into his eyes, he was cool when he spoke, "Let them think what they will."

Chuck then leaned in and whispered in her ear, "As long as you know that you will have to keep especially quiet when I slip into your room at night."

His hand snuck further up her skirt as she whispered his name and his mouth closed over hers. She was being so serious, and he wanted her to relax, be excited about their time together. She brought her hand up to touch his face as he pulled away from her lips, "Just let go… come play with me."

His mouth covered hers again. He felt her moan when he slid his tongue into her mouth. He grasped her thighs and pulled her into his lap. The pleats of her pale pink skirt fell over his knees as both his hands reached under the soft fabric to cup her ass.

Blair sighed at the feel of his hands on her. She shook her head, "No…"

He tried to capture her mouth again, but she denied him.

"We should talk… figure out…what we'll tell them…"

Chuck unceremoniously dumped her on the limo's seat, pinning her down with his body. If she was not going to listen to him, then he would make her relax, clear her mind of all this needless worrying. "Or you can just go with it. We're on holiday… away from New York. And you're with me."

Blair licked her lips and swallowed at the dangerous look in his eyes. She trembled as his hands traveled up her legs once more. He bunched the skirt around her waist, smirking. "But… Chuck…" She whispered.

"No. No more." He moved down her body, dropping his head between her legs. He tugged her pretty little La Perla's aside and greedily pressed his tongue against her. He inhaled the scent of her, reveled in the taste of her, and moaned.

Blair shut her eyes tight, trying to desperately keep control over her thoughts. The steady lave of his tongue, snaking into her body effectively wiped her mind clean. All thoughts of Paris, of her parents, forgotten in the wake of little trembles he sent through her body.

Suddenly there was a knocking sound; Chuck stilled, and Blair's eyes flew open. Neither had felt the limo come to a stop. "We've arrived, Mr. Bass."

Chuck regretfully removed himself as Blair straightened her skirt, and smoothed her hair. Her face had gone back to looking calm, and proper, though her cheeks were still tinted with the flush caused by his attentions. He leaned in and kissed her cheek, whispering, "We'll finish this on the plane." He pulled away, winking.

They boarded the jet and settled into their seats. Chuck took her hand, giving her a dirty little smile. She looked at him, and scowling, she spoke, "What are you going to say to my father when he meets you?"

Chuck reached over, tucking a strand of loose hair behind her ear, he licked his lips, "I don't know. Why don't I tell him I hope we don't look too disheveled upon our arrival, as I spent most of the flight inducting his daughter into the mile high club?"

The jet began its ascent, pushing them back into their seats as the engines screamed. Chuck was enjoying their verbal sparring, but as he watched her little tongue dart out to lick her lips, all they had been playing at stirred in him. He pulled her to him as he leaned in and kissed her intensely.

They made out as the jet climbed higher and higher, Chuck once more effectively distracting Blair from her thoughts and concerns. His hand was under that innocent little lavender sweater, his thumb rasping against her hard nipples through her much less innocent lace bra. She moaned, and pouted.

Reaching cruising altitude, he unfastened his restraint, then hers. Without provocation or coaxing, Blair was climbing into his lap. It had been days since they had _properly_ been together; apparently it was getting to her as much as it was to him. She was desperately trying to unfasten his trousers, unsuccessfully, and pleaded with him. He laughed, "Maybe I should make sure you really want it first?"

Blair's hands were now on his shoulders and she gripped them harder, she pouted and bounced a little in his lap, like a child being denied their favorite toy. He caught her sweet lips and slipped his hand under her skirt, seeking her heat. Her heart raced, pounding in her ears as he pulled that little line of lace aside. She thought her wetness might begin to run down her legs in anticipation of him. She waited.

He smirked, watching the expression of need on her face, "Missing something, Blair?"

She lost it, wailing, "Chuck!"

"That's better." He shoved his hand up into her, watching relief wash across her face. She rocked against him as he worked her hard, taking in the sight of her beauty as she was consumed with lust.

"Should I make you come like this?" He purred in her ear.

Blair bit her lip, shaking her head, "No!" she begged, "I want to come with you… inside me."

Chuck opened his trousers and slipped them down. His hands on her hips, she lowered herself down onto his cock at last, releasing a sigh of happiness: completion. At least for a moment- because now the need ached in her, deep down inside, where he was reaching into her core. She tightened around him with the thought of the pleasure he was about to give her, loving the feel of him there.

Closing his eyes, Chuck exhaled a blissful sigh. Days. They were going to do this for days and days. He had tried to masturbate prior their trip, thinking of her, of this. But, god, it was useless- a total waste, next to the feel of being inside her. Her lips were on his now, kissing him. He heard her whimpering, and he shook her hips harder against his.

She cried out, waves of euphoria convulsed through her, her mind gone in a blaze of white. Her body shuddered around him, and Chuck followed her, letting her orgasm bring him to his. Breathless, she pleaded, "Yes… yes…" as he filled her with her reward.

They calmed and stilled, slowly returning to a more acceptable arrangement. Chuck put his arms around Blair's shoulders and held her close, letting her curl up on his chest. He closed his eyes and soaked up the feel of her. Stroking her glossy brown hair, he thought of the next few days. Though he had distracted her, gotten her to relax, she had a valid point. That Serena was not here; it cast him in a very specific light in her parent's eyes. He was not… _that_ guy- he was Chuck Bass. But, then, this was Paris, not New York. No awful rumor mills, or Gossip Girl spies. Would it be so bad to feign not being Chuck Bass for a few days, for Blair? He turned the thought over in his mind as he too drifted to sleep.

Blair and Chuck awoke in Paris. They freshened up before departing the jet, correcting the disheveled look he had joked of a few hours ago. As their luggage was loaded into the car, Chuck took her hand once more, "Hey."

Blair looked up at him, her wide eyes questioning. He brought his hands up to her face, slowly tilting her head back, staring into her eyes as he softly pressed his lips, warm and gentle against hers. Chuck felt something rise in his chest, his head felt fuzzy, his breath was light. His lust was there… but so was something else. He pulled away, his hand dropping back to holding hers. She was bright and beautiful before him. It was a promise.

* * *

The black town car wove through Paris. Chuck reached out and held Blair's hand once more, a little smile on his face as she looked at him. It tugged on his heart, and he tried to mentally down play all that she was giving him right now. By sharing her family like this with him, she was giving him an experience he had never had before. He could do this; he had focused on making Blair relax earlier, now he was the one that needed to relax, to let go.

The car came to a stop in front of a large house, all stone, wrought iron balconies in the windows, nestled near the Trocadero and the Palais de Tokyo, the Pont D'Iena, and the Eiffel Tower. Blair threw the car door open as Harold Waldorf came out of the house and descended the stairs. She flew into his arms, "Papa!"

Chuck watched the giant smile that spread across Harold's face as his arms wrapped around his daughter. He could not help but smile, there was so much happiness radiating from them. He slid from the car, and stood behind Blair.

Blair finally released her father, and turning, she went to introduce Chuck, "Papa, this is…"

However, Harold was already three steps ahead, "You must be Charles," he said and reached out to shake hands.

"Yes, sir. Please, call me Chuck. It's a pleasure to finally meet you." Chuck shook Harold's hand. Though he was meeting Harold's gaze, he could see Blair's face too, and saw her smile, biting her lower lip in anxious excitement.

Roman now came out of the house, breaking the slight tension, "Blair, you are here!"

He too hugged Blair, and greeted Chuck, shaking his hand. Chuck smiled seeing Blair with her two fathers, the energy was light and bright, and he could see why she was so excited to be here. He felt Blair's little hand slip into his and turned to see her smiling up at him.

The four of them ate a light dinner; though Chuck did not say much, he enjoyed watching, listening, and soaking in the feel of a family dinner. Harold and Roman were intelligent and funny, and made him feel welcomed and included.

After dinner, Harold showed them to their rooms, situated across the hall from one another. "What are your plans for the rest of the evening?"

"I thought we might exhaust our jet lag at a club, if it's okay with you, daddy?" Blair put just the right touch of sugar on her request.

Harold gave his daughter a long look, "Hmm, well… don't stay out too late? We have to make our pie in the morning."

Blair kissed her father on the cheek, smiling in thanks, and walked into her bedroom, pushing the door half shut behind her.

Harold gave Chuck a nod, his look saying it all- you better be good to my daughter. Chuck entered his room and quickly pulled on a fresh shirt. Walking back across the hall, he nudged Blair's door open. She was standing across the room, leaning over the dresser, putting lipstick on in the mirror. In nothing but black lace lingerie and sheer black stockings held up by a garter belt. He leaned against the doorframe and shook his head at her when her eyes met his in the mirror.

He smirked, "You should really close your door when you're changing clothes."

She glowered at him, and then turned to pick up a little red dress from her bed, slipping it on, "I guess I should, shouldn't I? And lock it too."

Blair shook her hair out of the chignon, her loosened hair falling down the exposed skin of her back in waves of curls. Chuck's mouth watered and he rather wanted to stay in this very room. Forget the club.

"Come on," Blair smiled, as though she knew his thoughts and took his hand.

They had a few drinks at the club before Blair began to pout at him, "Please Chuck? Won't you dance with me?"

He recalled the _last_ time he had danced with her, and he was not about to go through that again. But the memory gave him an even better idea. "No, but…"

Chuck whispered his proposal in her ear, and Blair pondered it a moment before she smiled at him, slid out of her seat, and sauntered to the dance floor, her hips swinging. It took her no time at all in that tight red dress to find a willing victim.

He sat back, enjoying his drink as he watched her dance with another man for a few minutes. He enjoyed watching her move, the curve of her body, her allure reached out towards him from across the room. The moment the other man began to look like he was enjoying himself too much was when Chuck rose from his seat, possessiveness driving him to her side. His face was clouded in darkness as he entered the fray, his black eyes locking on the man as he reached out and pulled Blair to him. His voice was dripping with possession, "I believe you're dancing with _my_ woman."

The image of Chuck was enough to frighten the stranger, who instantly backed off. Blair wrapped herself around him, high on adrenaline as she smiled and kissed him. Her arms were around his neck, her fingers in his hair, her whole body pressing up against him as she moved to the music.

Moaning, his tongue slipped into her mouth. The slight haze of alcohol and her little performance- both here and in her room- how else was he supposed to feel? His cock throbbed and his hands grasped her ass. He pushed them off the dance floor, into a dark corner, out of the light.

Blair's hands dropped to his trousers, pulling them open and he moaned as her hand grasped him. He shoved her hard against the wall and pulled her legs up around him. And just like that, they were coupled once more. It had not even been twelve hours, yet it felt like weeks, months even, since he had buried himself in her tight wet heat. The sight of that other worthless man pawing at her made his blood boil. _You're mine… you're mine._

Chuck's mouth was on her neck as she clung to him. He was fucking her hard; so needy and desperate, the sounds falling from his lips were guttural, primitive. She could barely keep her eyes open at the pleasure of it all, the club around her a haze of colored spots blurring into darkness. She felt so hot… so bad, her mouth curled into a wicked grin. It was a game, she had toyed with him, set him off, and now she was reveling in the darkness. He felt so amazing, and she cried out as he fucked her harder and harder.

Their mutual climax was like a ripple of deep bass traveling through their bodies. Chuck cursed and Blair cried out his name as his passion surged into her body and she tightened even more around him, taking it all in.

Hidden in their dark corner, they recovered, catching their breath, letting their heartbeats slow as they leaned against one another. After a time, Blair fixed her hair and Chuck fixed his trousers. Before returning to the light, his deep voice rumbled in her ear, "Now I hope you see why Chuck Bass doesn't dance."

* * *

The next morning, Blair bounced into his room, dressed and showered, "Get up, get up, it's time to make the pie!"

She kissed him on the cheek before she bounced back out of his room. He begrudgingly showered and dressed quickly, then went to find Blair in the kitchen. She was in a sweet little apron next to her father, mixing the pie ingredients. He saw Roman smile at him, nodding his head for him to come stand next to him. He offered Chuck some coffee and the two men silently watched the legendary Waldorf pie come into being.

Roman was also observing Chuck, watching the expressions on his face. "You like Blair, don't you?" he fished.

Chuck calmly took a sip of his coffee, "We're just friends."

"But you like her," the Frenchman insisted. Chuck did not respond to the bait, "And she would not have brought you to Paris with her if she had no attachment to you, Chuck."

Roman patted Chuck on the shoulder, before he went to sit near Harold and Blair to read the paper. Blair's eyes turned to Chuck, and she smiled; it was like sunlight, so bright and warm. He smiled back, and joined them.

Harold snuck off while Chuck and Blair finished preparing the piecrust. Their hands pushing the crust into the pie pan as they smiled at one another. Harold held up the camera, and Roman called to them, "Blair, Chuck."

Snap. Their first picture- if you don't count Gossip Girl. Chuck turned a little red in embarrassment and Blair nudged him, laughing, "Chuck Bass, a domestic!"

"As long as that doesn't end up on Gossip Girl…" He grumbled, so only she would hear. She just continued to laugh.

He gave her a cruel look as she laughed, and he wiped his flour-covered hands on her day dress.

"Chuck!" She squealed. Blair tried to retaliate but he caught her hands.

"Oh no you don't! Remember last time? You lost that food fight too!" He laughed.

She laughed more, "Sometimes winning and losing are objective, Chuck Bass!"

They struggled a little more, laughing the entire time. Harold was taking a few more pictures, as both he and Roman laughed at them.

"Papa! Were you taking _more_ pictures?" Blair berated her father.

"Happiness is something that should be remembered, and cherished, Blair-Bear." He smiled at her. The words struck Chuck's ears. _Happiness_.

The pie in the oven, they all went to dress for dinner, letting the professionals reclaim the kitchen in order to prepare the early dinner. Having finished dressing, Chuck found Blair curled up in the library, reading Colette.

"Not Madame Bovary?" He smirked at her. She just scowled at him, refusing to be pulled from her story. He selected Shakespeare from the shelf and sat down on the floor at the foot of the chaise Blair had curled up in. Her fingers eventually drifted down to play with his hair, as he leaned his head back against her. They passed the few hours before dinner just like this.

* * *

Eleanor arrived at the appointed hour, Harold and Roman greeting her in the foyer of their home. After lots of cheek kissing and mild awkwardness, Harold finally spoke, "Blair and Chuck are reading in the library."

Eleanor furrowed her brow, "Chuck? Who's Chuck?"

Roman and Harold exchanged looks, before Harold spoke again. "Blair brought a friend. Serena was also supposed to come, but family drama prevented her from joining us."

"But Chuck? As in, a boy?" Eleanor's mind was reeling.

Roman spoke next, "You mean you did not know she was bringing any friends?"

Eleanor just shook her head, and mumbled, "A boy…"

Harold interjected here, "She's never introduced you to Chuck Bass? You didn't even know they were friends?"

Eleanor was completely disillusioned, laughing, "Chuck _Bass_, Bart Bass' son? What is she thinking?"

Harold had been away from New York long enough that he knew nothing of Chuck's reputation, though he knew his illustrious father. "Eleanor, I have no clue what you are insinuating, but I can assure you they have been perfectly innocent since they arrived."

She eyed her ex-husband warily, she knew how sweet he was, but he was no fool either. So she calmed down and decided to see what this Chuck Bass was like in person.

"I will go fetch them, and speak to Blair about her behavior. You two go on to the table," Harold said, turning towards the library.

He peeked his head in first, seeing the two teenagers innocently reading. Blair was playing with Chuck's hair, but she seemed to be doing it almost absent-mindedly. It was a sweet image, though it made his heart ache to see his little girl so intimate with a boy. He cleared his throat, "Blair." She looked up at him with wide eyes, "Can I speak with you a moment?"

Chuck watched as she went to talk with her father in the hallway. They spoke quietly, but he could see it was not a pleasant conversation. She was in trouble and he was rather certain it had to do with him.

"How could you not tell your mother you were bringing someone?"

"When was I supposed to tell her that?" Blair bit out.

"I know Serena was supposed to come, but your mother did not even know you knew Chuck, or were friends with him." Harold cornered her.

"I… I tried to tell her, but she doesn't want to hear such things." Blair was quickly losing her appetite.

"That is no excuse, you were being sneaky, and that was a cruel thing to do to Roman and I, not just your mother."

"I'm sorry Papa…" She sighed.

"We're your parents, Blair. We will always be here for you- no matter what, no matter how busy we are." He saw Blair wrinkle her nose, "Even your mother. Oh, my Blair-Bear." Harold hugged his daughter.

Chuck smiled when he saw this; he had never seen an argument that ever really ended, or that bringing up issues could lead to a resolution. Harold now beckoned to him, as it was time for dinner.

Roman had ceded the head of the table to Eleanor, and sat next to her rather than Harold. Blair sat between her father and Chuck, while Chuck sat next to her mother.

Chuck was curious to finally meet Eleanor Waldorf and she was interested in the appearance of Charles Bass at her Thanksgiving dinner. Their conversation was tactical and polite as they circled one another: how was his father, how was her visit to Paris, how were his classes, how was her new fashion line.

"So how is it you came to meet my daughter, Charles?" Eleanor at last asked. Meaning? _How is it that my pristine daughter came to associate with you? _

_ Oh, she walked in on my having sex with some girl in the garden at a party this summer, so I started harassing her by sending her lingerie because I wanted to have sex with her_. "Well, we go to the same school, so it was only a matter of time really. But I met Blair properly the first time at the van der Woodsen's party in the Hamptons this summer."

"And how long have you two been dating?" Eleanor went straight to it. Roman grew nervous on Chuck's behalf. Blair had calmly been listening the to conversation up to this point. She dared not look anywhere but at her plate, especially now. _Oh, god!_

"We're just friends Ms. Waldorf. Blair has helped me with some English assignments, and we do friendly things together, but we are not dating." Chuck mentally grimaced. _Oh yes, we do some very friendly things. _

Roman interjected now, "Indeed, Chuck is a very good friend to Blair. You should have seen how much fun they had when he was helping her make the pie this morning. Like that one time, remember when…"

Chuck tried to not exhale a giant sigh of relief, thankful to Roman for taking the pressure off of him. He felt Blair's hand reach down and hold his, giving him a little squeeze.

They took dessert in the sumptuous parlor, a great fire roaring in the beautiful fireplace. Roman and Eleanor chatted, while Harold played cards around the coffee table with Chuck and Blair. After a few rounds, Eleanor called Blair away to join her and Roman, something about new dresses to be selected and fitted. Harold and Chuck continued their game.

"I love my daughter very much, Chuck." Harold spoke, not looking at the boy, but watching the cards instead.

"Even if I had not known that before, I think anyone could see that when you and Blair are together, sir."

"Then I think you know why I must say what I am about to say."

Chuck nodded his head.

"You may just be friends, for now, or you could be lying- to me or yourselves. But you're the first boy Blair has ever brought home, so I have to make sure you understand that if you hurt her, I will never let you near her again."

He swallowed hard at the threat, "I understand, Mr. Waldorf."

Blair returned just then, kissing her father on the cheek. "What did I miss? Who's winning?"

Chuck watched Blair and her father laugh together, as the game of cards continued. He had never been confronted by a loving father before. While his manners had gotten him through the conversation, the meaning of it was still sinking in. Harold adored his daughter, and wanted to protect her from… well, guys like Chuck Bass.

The hours passed in front of the fireplace, conversation and soft laughter stretching into the night. It was not until Blair tried to hide a yawn that the late hour was noted and Eleanor departed to her home while everyone went to their rooms.

* * *

The next morning, Harold brought Blair breakfast in bed. She pulled her eyes mask off as he sat the tray on her nightstand. Sitting down on the bed next to her, he patted her hand, "Still jet lagged, sweetie?"

Blair cleared her throat, "Yes, a bit, I'm afraid. I…" her voice cracked a little, "had so much fun last night, playing cards with you and Chuck."

Harold smiled at his daughter, "You're such a good girl." He kissed her forehead, "Don't stay in bed too much longer."

He stood and smiled at her once more as he closed the door. Blair sank back down; her cheeks bright pink as Chuck pushed the covers up, emerging from beneath. She sighed, "That was close!"

"Just close?" Chuck smirked, "But I thought you came?"

She smacked him with her pillow. "Out, out!" she pushed him from the bed. He snagged a strawberry from her breakfast tray, "Go shower before someone finds you here."

Blair shook her head; he pulled his underwear halfway down his ass as he strolled towards her bathroom. She laid her head back on the pillow, swearing she was going to die- he was going to kill her. "You're such a good girl," she chided herself.

She followed Chuck into the bathroom after a few moments, locking the bathroom door behind her for safe measure. She brushed her hair and teeth as he showered. Blair tried to focus her thoughts, but her eyes wandered to his reflection in the mirror. The water running down his body, the way his wet hair lay across his forehead. Her breathing grew shallow, and she berated herself- _focus, focus_, before she nearly drooled brushing her teeth.

Chuck stepped out of the shower; he vigorously rubbed the towel to dry his hair, and smiled at Blair. She looked at him indignantly as she pulled the chemise over her head and slipped past him, into the shower. He reached out and smacked her ass.

She glared at him as the water ran through her hair, "Don't you ever get enough?"

"With you Waldorf?" He grinned, "Never."

Blair tried to act cool, though her heart jolted and her stomach dropped. She must have pulled it off because he left for his room to dress. He never had enough of her? She smiled to herself as she showered.

* * *

Chuck and Blair spent Friday and Saturday walking Paris together, shopping and enjoying all that the city had to offer. They laughed, shared favorite spots; Chuck went to see her favorite paintings, but only in exchange for Blair trying on lingerie for him. After all, he needed to replenish her wardrobe.

They sat in bistros and sipped cappuccinos, and visited boulangeries between boutiques; Chuck even feeding Blair bits of croissant when her hands were full with her newest prized purchases.

They strolled through parks, across the Pont D'Iena and ventured up the Eiffel Tower. The air was cold and crisp at the top, and Chuck tucked their entwined hands into his coat pocket. The view was breathtaking, and they gazed out on the city in silence. Couples kissed sweetly all around them. It made Blair feel nervous, wanting some distraction from the awkwardness.

"Did you know the tower is six inches shorter in the winter?"

"Really?" Chuck turned from the view to look down at her. Her cheeks were so pink and he could only think how cute she was.

"You know… thermodynamics." She made a nervous little laugh. _Oh my god just shut up._

"You want me to kiss you, don't you?" He smiled.

"I said no such thing! Where would you even get that idea from?" _Seriously, just stop talking._

"You mean you _do not_ want me to kiss you? Ever again?" Chuck feigned a look of shock and insult.

Blair fumed a little and then looked up to him; he could see how frustrated and trapped she felt. He smiled, liking that he was the only one that could make it better. He pulled his warm hands out of his pockets and cupped her face, "You… are too sweet to not kiss."

He brushed his lips against hers, and her hands held tight to the front of his coat. Her whole body, her mind, absorbed this moment, so she might always remember it. _Always…_

* * *

Saturday night, for a farewell dinner, Roman and Harold had planned from them all to have a tasteful French dinner at Le Pré Catelan.

Chuck knocked on Blair's door; it was nearly time to depart. He pushed the door open to see Blair standing, looking out the French doors of her balcony, her head titled as she fixed her earring in place. She turned, twisting her body, and smiled at him. He thought his heart stopped at that moment. Her eyes were bright, her full mouth was painted red, glossy brown curls fell down the open back of the long strapless deep green dress, yet the worst part was seeing his diamond glitter at her throat.

Blair lifted the skirt of her dress and walked towards him. Still smiling, she laughed a little and looked into his eyes, "Are you okay, Chuck?"

He licked his lips and cleared his throat, "Yes, fine, just… you certainly do not look sixteen tonight."

She smiled even bigger, and in a moment of courage, her hand grasped the front of his trousers, "Ah, I see you mean that as a compliment," she winked at him.

Chuck rolled his eyes with a small groan before he offered his arm to her. They descended the stairs together, and Blair somehow managed to smile even more for her father and Roman as they murmured in awe of her. Harold made her stand in the foyer and pose for a picture, much to Blair's objections.

"Papa, you are being such a…"

"Father? I know how silly of me. Now smile, Blair-Bear." He laughed.

Roman watched Chuck, who was having trouble keeping a grip on his usual placid expression. She just looked so…. He did not even know a word for it. Blair was always pretty, but this?

"Chuck, why don't you have your photo taken with Blair?" Roman suggested.

"No, no, we're just friends…" Chuck declared, but he was overruled.

"Who would not want to have their picture with a pretty girl? Come…" Roman pushed Chuck towards her. Years of modeling experience, he adjusted them until they were just to his liking. He smiled, "Lovely."

Chuck struggled through dinner. The food was fantastic; the conversation was lively and enjoyable. But he struggled nonetheless because he suddenly did not recognize Blair. That wide eyed girl from the garden, who quoted Shakespeare and called his bullshit, he could not see that girl in the… woman, who sat next to him. He dared any man to tell him that tonight, she was not every bit a woman. Blair was confident, beautiful, alluring…. No- more than all that, she was sexy as all hell.

She turned to him, smiling, laughing at the joke Roman had made. His breath hitched, and the diamond around her neck twinkled in the soft lights. He felt so overwhelmed, wondering how he might make it through dinner under the assault of these thoughts and feelings.

Blair saw the strange look on his face. She blamed it on the strapless gown he had must be imagining ripping off her body before he took her tonight. She reached her hand under the table and just barely touched his leg.

The feel of her fingers shot through him like electricity. Chuck instantly excused himself from the table. Walking to the restroom, his head felt light, his chest felt too small, it was heart to breathe, and his heart was pounding in his ears. He leaned against the bathroom sink, trying to focus on breathing; he splashed some cool water against his overly warm face. _What the hell was this?_

Nightcaps were taken in the library, conversation was light and pleasant. Blair was the first to depart for her room. She kissed her father and Roman good night, though only smiled and bid Chuck sweet dreams. Chuck stayed awhile longer, before excusing himself, commenting that the flight back to New York was early. Truly, he could not contain his need for Blair another moment longer; he was desperate to know what she was doing to him.

He did not bother to knock this time. Pushing her door open, he found Blair on her balcony gazing out at Paris and the full moon above. Chuck shrugged off his jacket as he crossed her room. Placing the warm coat over her shoulders, he spoke, "It's cold out, what are you thinking?"

"I just wanted some air." She turned to face him, "And I'm thinking how happy I've been here." _Been with you_. They stepped back into her room.

"I never really knew how beautiful Paris was before." He murmured, caressing her cheek as he looked into her dark eyes, her lips calling to him, her whole being pulling him in. He could not resist her and he did not bother trying. As he leaned into her, he whispered, "Blair…"

His lips were rough against hers, his lust burning her. Blair felt every second of time they had left together slipping away. What tomorrow would bring, she did not know. Chuck had been different here, she could see that, and in the corner of her mind, she suspected- she knew, New York would not be like this tomorrow. But she had tonight, and she wanted to feel every moment of it. She gasped, "Please…" He kissed down her neck as she pleaded, "Slowly… we… have time… make me yours…"

Chuck pulled his head back and looked into her eyes. The moonlight fell across them, and she glowed in his arms, her beauty overwhelming him once more. He closed his mouth over hers, a silent, reverent promise. _We have time…_

He kissed across her collarbone as he unzipped the long gown, letting it drop away from her; kissing the tops of her breasts as he unfastened her bra. He knelt before her, his fingers dancing across her skin, his mouth around her breasts, his tongue teasing her nipple against his teeth. When he removed her stockings, he contemplated the feel of her legs as the material slowly slid further and further down. He grasped the roundness of her backside, squeezing it gently in his hands before pulling down her thong. Finally, having her naked before him, he felt as though such beauty could only exist in his dreams; _yes, this was a dream. It was the only explanation,_ he thought as he stood once more and her full red lips met his.

His eyes were hazy as he watched her work the small buttons of his dress shirt and unfasten his French cuffs. Her fingers felt hot on his skin when she touched his chest, his shoulders, pushing the fabric off of him, as though the garment was offending her. The metallic clink of his belt opening made a deep groan rumble in his chest, and in another moment, his trousers were on the floor. Her hands were running down his back, and then slipping under the waistband of his black boxer briefs, pushing them down. She moved to kneel down before him, but he caught her, and her eyes shone up at him, "No… let's not spoil this with that."

Chuck led her to the bed, holding her hand, kissing her softly. No one had ever made him feel the way Blair did, now, in this moment. The entire visit felt like a step out of time. He had been accepted, felt wanted even, and now he was having this delicious dream, for he was so certain it must be, and in reality, he was in his room, alone, imagining the feel of her against him, kissing him with as much desperation as he was her.

Blair called to him, her breath soft and panting, "Make me yours, Chuck… please… I want it all…" _I want to be your friend, your lover, to be this way, feel this way… and so much more_. She gasped a small sob when he finally took her, filling her softness will all of his hardness. His strokes were long, yet forceful, and her arms curled around his back. _I never want this to end._ Blair felt the sting of tears in her eyes, and she leaned up to kiss him, a small sob escaping her lips.

He opened his eyes in time to see a solitary tear roll down her cheek. Something inside him cracked, and he knew now this was not a dream. Blair would not be crying in his dreams. _Fuck_. His head dropped down, and he kissed her again, feeling his desperation well up in his chest, meeting hers ounce for ounce. And still he thrust into her, working her towards her first orgasm. Forget her virginity, it was this night he would make her remember over all others. _It was a night he would remember above all others._

He watched her gasp, and tremble, clinging to him harder, as she came apart beneath him. His eyes focused on the curve of her lips as she cried his name, the heat of her tightening around him being almost too much. He tried- fought, to pull himself back from the edge, kissing those lips, feeling her hands on his back, feeling her, focusing on her.

"Again," Chuck whispered in her ear.

Blair trembled under him, her breath shuddering, "No… I can't…"

He reached down, grabbing her ass, lifting her hips a little higher, "But you will."

His mouth found the sweet spot on her neck; he began to thrust into her with more ardor. He kissed, bit, sucked that spot, bruising her, making her cry out his name as she peaked a second time.

Blair dug her nails into his back, breaking skin, making him roar. She wanted to mark him as badly as he had marked her, for all time. Her mouth caressed the shell of his ear, "Come…" she moaned, "spill inside me…"

His eyes rolled back, and he could not fight it anymore… he did not want to fight it. He swelled inside her, and he did just as she commanded, his desperation flooding inside her.

They held each other after that, no words, just the sound of their hearts beating.

* * *

Chuck awoke in the middle of the night, finding Blair snuggled happily against him. Something tore at him inside as he slipped from her bed. He could not find a specific name, or reason, for the feeling. He did not want to risk getting caught their last night together, he did not want to leave her bed, he did not want to leave… her, this way they had been in Paris. He pushed the thoughts aside as he sneaked back to his room and into his cold bed.

Soon enough, it was morning, and Chuck and Blair were on the jet back to New York. They were quiet, a little sad, and perhaps a bit uncertain, as he held her in his arms; they tried to sleep more on the long flight. Blair murmured into his chest as she slipped into her dreams, "I don't want to go home."

Though his eyes were closed, he heard her words. _Home. New York. The end of this break- this experiment, and the return of Chuck Bass, of gossip, his father, all the disappointment_; these things drifted through his mind, and he held Blair just a little tighter to him.

* * *

**AN: Chapter title taken from BassCop69's Historical sequel to the historical, Catch and Release, titled: Not Your Autumn Moon, I am The Night.**

**Giant heaps of love and gratitude to Georgia (CheeryFan/Atalanta) for being, yet again, my super beta on this chapter. And a special spot of love to GGFan73104 for helping me with my last sticky spot and making it so I could publish this chapter that much sooner.**


	15. Never Be The Same

Chapter Fifteen:

Never Be The Same

A long black limo crawled up Fifth Avenue. Its two occupants were fiercely wrapped around one another, kissing, desperately fighting the end of something. Neither had spoken a word of what they were thinking, but they knew what would happen- what would change when they left the shelter of his dark limo. They would not be in Paris anymore.

Standing in their city once more, Chuck held her hand, playing with her fingers, as the car was unloaded. She smiled at him and caressed his jawline. No matter what happened next, the happiness they had in Paris could never be taken from them. _Happiness should be remembered, cherished._

Her luggage was being taken into the building now, and his chest ached a little. But she was smiling and that somehow made it better. "See you in the morning?"

"Of course." She kissed him on the cheek and turned towards her building.

And with that, Paris had ended.

* * *

Blair was unpacked, and reviewing her school work when Serena bounced into her room, flopping onto the bed. "I'm here for my report!"

"Your report?" Blair watched as her friend lay on her bed, getting comfortable, as though she were about to watch her favorite television show.

"I'm here to hear about Paris… and Chuck Bass!" She twirled her blonde hair in her fingers, smiling with excitement.

Blair rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Paris was good. I have to show you this pretty little pair of Vivier's I picked up!"

"Blair… that's not going to work. Tell me about Chuck!"

The brunette bit her lower lip, and tried not to smile too much, "He was wonderful, S."

"Woah. Wonderful? Did you magically take the wrong Charles Bass to Paris with you?"

"No." Blair scowled at her friend, "All the sex definitely proved it was the same Chuck Bass."

Serena burst out laughing, "Blair!"

"Well, now you can't say I didn't tell you anything." She laughed too.

"So, awesome sex," Serena laughed a little again, "great shopping. What else? How was actual Thanksgiving?"

"Tense. My mother asked him how long we had been dating."

"Ouch." The blonde made a face.

"Yeah. But we're just friends- right?" Blair dropped her face in her hands.

"Oh, B." Serena stood and hugged her best friend.

"It's as though that word was the only untruth. Everything else was… was us, Chuck _and_ Blair. Talking in the cafes, shopping together, laughing together, him feeding me croissants, and kissing me atop the Eiffel Tower. Oh, S, and last night. Last night was…"

Blair had no words for what last night had been. There were so many emotions, such beauty, and tenderness. It was unlike anything she had ever thought possible to feel with another person.

"What now, B? I mean… what do you think will happen tomorrow?" Serena asked the question Blair had been pondering since yesterday.

"I don't know…" It was all back on Chuck and his choices again, but she did know the one thing she could do, "I have to believe. Paris was real; there was such happiness. I have to believe in that, and believe that Chuck will figure all of… this, out."

"Wow, B. That's… really mature."

"I guess I've read too many novels?" Blair laughed, thinking of all her favorite Jane Austen heroines.

* * *

Nate and Chuck were reclined on the sofa, catching up on the past few days as they blew curly q's of pot smoke into the air.

"I'm sorry I couldn't have you stay with me for the holidays, man. My parents have been so weird lately. But how was Paris?"

"Paris was good." Chuck offered.

"Yes, but _how_ good?" Nate pushed for more.

Chuck's mind turned over memories of all the sex he had with Blair, but also the places they went, things they did, the smiles, the laughter, the… things, he had felt. "My project is going quite well, if the sex is any indicator to go by. The round we had at that club was pretty exceptional."

"You got her to have sex with you in a _public_ place? Damn, you are good." Nate laughed.

Chuck smirked at his friend, proud to have met his expectations. Though in his mind, he heard Blair begging him to make her his last night, the memory of her beautiful body in the moonlight lying under him.

"How did you deal with her parents? Weren't they all over you- you said it was just you and her, right?" Nate wondered.

"I said we're just friends, and let them think whatever the hell they like." Something felt odd as he said the words this time.

"And Blair was okay with that?" Nate furrowed his brow, not able to imagine the perfect little princess allowing such a thing.

"I told you, the sex is just that good. That's all we did the whole time anyway." Now Chuck _knew_ he was lying. But what was he supposed to say to Nate?

Suddenly, both their phones buzzed on the coffee table. Picking them up, they saw a new message from Gossip Girl.

_Welcome back UESers, _

_Hope you all had a very happy start to the holidays._

_My favorite dish this Thanksgiving?_

_A special treat from France,_

_Aurelie09 snapped this Friday_

_On the Rue Saint-Honoré_

_What is this? _

_Our princess and the dark prince,_

_Looking rather like… a couple?_

_Perhaps it was just all that fresh Parisian air?_

_You know you love me,_

_xoxo,_

_Gossip Girl_

The photo was of a very happy Blair, her hands full from her extensive shopping, with an equally happy Chuck, playfully feeding her part of a croissant.

_Fuck._

"Just sex, huh?" Nate dripped sarcastically.

* * *

Chuck kept his distance from Blair nearly the entire week. He still walked with her to school; he needed her, and walking with her was that little fix he allowed himself. But he was aloof, barely kissing her- anything to avoid the temptation to have sex with her. The experience they had together that last night in Paris haunted him, intoxicated him, and he was wary of being pulled in by her again. Paris had followed them home, and he could not shake the feeling that he had gone too far.

Blair struggled on Monday when he was strange with her. She blamed the Gossip Girl blast and by Tuesday morning she had honestly expected him to not walk her to school. Yet, he was there, every day. He just watched her and made her talk about things. Planning for the ball and her schoolwork were keeping her busy enough, and distracted her from the heartache of it all. He had barely touched her all week, and at night, alone in her bed she wanted to cry, thinking of the distance between them.

* * *

Friday at last, Chuck was looking forward to smoking with Nate that night. He was between classes, switching books at his locker when he heard a couple of guys discussing Blair.

"Man, have you seen Blair Waldorf lately?"

"Yeah, that is one fine ass."

"And now that Chuck Bass has tapped it you _know_ it's open for business."

"I heard she still doesn't have a date for the ball next Saturday, poor girl- I bet she's starting to get quite _desperate_."

Chuck heard the insinuation in the boy's voice and it made his blood boil. _Fuck_.

He was waiting in the janitors closet just before lunch; he was uncertain and needy from his self-imposed denial. He saw Blair and roughly pulled her into the little closet with him.

"Oh my... Chuck!" She was startled and suddenly he was wrapped around her, his mouth hot and insistent against hers.

"Tell me..." He gasped.

He was pulling her underwear down and she moaned as heat flooded her body in anticipation of him, "Anything..."

"Tell me you're mine- only mine," he growled.

He was unfastening his belt, and her mind grappled with what he was asking from her. She was, it was true, yet _that_ was not what he was asking her. Her heart ached but she would not lie to him, even a little.

"Only yours Chuck, take me, make me yours once more," she declared, a note of pleading at the end.

It was a weight off his mind and pure lust rushed through him. Why had he denied himself this? He wrapped her legs around his waist as she held onto the shelves in the little room. He feared he was going to come the second her tight little cunt took the length of him so deep into her body.

His. She was all his.

Her voice was in his ears begging for more of him. More, harder, deeper, yet it was never enough. The shelves shook with their desperate reunion. He kept his mouth pressed to hers as they panted in an attempt to try to keep them quiet. Blair whimpered his name, and he felt her muscles tighten around him, and his mind went white with pleasure as he climaxed.

* * *

Blair was a little late to lunch with Serena. She sat down quickly, trying not to smile with how pleased she was about the wetness between her legs.

"Oh my god…" Serena eyed her friend. "No…"

"What?" Blair focused on opening her yogurt.

"Your cheeks are pink… a little too pink. And your sleeve, look how dirty it is! You were…" Serena had a cheeky smile on her face.

Blair looked a little sheepish as she rolled her eyes, "He's Chuck Bass…"

"And he's been odd all week. Good to see he's perhaps coming to his senses. Maybe he'll finally ask you to the ball next weekend," Serena pondered out loud.

"Or I'll just go on my own?"

"Not if I have anything to say about it! I know a few really cute Dalton boys…" The blonde offered with a smile, "They could take you- oh, or better yet! I could have them teach Chuck a lesson about how to treat a lady!"

Blair shook her head, "Oh, S. As if _that_ would help anything. No. I have to believe. He'll figure out what he wants, and until then…" _Tell me you're mine_, she sighed.

Serena watched her friend struggle for a moment, and tried to turn her thoughts elsewhere, "So tell me about the quiz in English class today?"

* * *

Chuck had an extra spring in his step the rest of the day. Clearly he was wrong to put space between them. This was the best he had felt in days. But eventually the euphoria did wane, and his biggest issue kept turning over in his mind. He heard the other boy's voice in his head: _She still doesn't have a date for the ball._

They walked home together that day. Chuck was curious; he needed to know what she was thinking. "How are preparations coming for the ball next weekend?"

"Fantastic! It's going to be so beautiful; there are just a few things to take care of next week, but everything is exactly as it should be." Blair took a small breath, and told herself to just say it, "Serena has… offered to find me a date, as I've just been too busy to even think about it. I think I just expected to go alone. I'll probably be busy keeping everything perfect anyway! It would not be any fun for my date."

She gave him a chance, and an out, now it was all on him. Blair tried to focus on staying relaxed and acting cool, but as he said nothing, it got more and more difficult not to freak out. Nothing. He was saying nothing. And now she was home. He looked deep in his own thoughts, so she gave up, and kissed him on the cheek, "I'll see you later?" she asked, half a question, half a request, and went inside. She threw a small fit in the elevator, allowing herself that small gap of time to be upset. When the doors opened, she was perfect and poised once more.

Lying in bed that night, Chuck struggled. What a failure. The whole thing was unacceptable. Blair could not go with anyone else, and it would be awful for her to have to go on her own. _But I'm Chuck Bass._ His thoughts were erratic, shifting from one side then back to the other. _We were happy together in Paris! But this is New York. She's just another girl. Yet she's unlike anyone else I have ever met._

Why could he not suck it up and just take her? Even infamous playboys go on dates and take women to events. It was no big deal, why was he making it one? Yet, he had waited so long to ask her; she had even given him a chance to ask. Maybe if he found a really romantic way to ask her, he could make amends for his idiocy.

* * *

Blair sat at her desk, deep in her studies on that Saturday afternoon. There was a soft knock at her door and she completed her note before looking up. When she turned her head, Chuck was kneeling next to her, a large box in his hands. Her heart instantly started thudding in her chest. His eyes were all hazel and gold, and something pulled at her making her all at once want to kiss him and yet run away.

"I wondered what you're doing next Saturday?" he paused, his little smirk sneaking out, "As I was kind of hoping by the end of the night, it might be me?"

"Chuck…." She wanted to cry, she had been telling herself to believe but inside it had started to kill her, as though Paris was a dream after all. But, here he was.

"I know it's a bit of a delayed request, but I thought this might help make up for it? I know how busy you've been." He lifted the box in offering.

She took it tentatively, quietly waiting to wake up from this daydream. He watched her, waiting for her to open the box. Blair held her breath as she lifted the lid. Layers of pale pink silk lovingly tucked in delicate tissue paper. She reached out and felt its softness slip through her fingers. Lifting her eyes to look at him again, her breath caught and all she could think to do was kiss him. Her lips brushed against his, and she felt that bubble of happiness rising inside of her.

It took all her strength to pull away from him, "Pick me up at seven?"

The smile on his face was utterly adorable, making her want to forget everything and pull him into her bed. Instead, she sat the box aside and scooted him out the door. He pouted at her and she berated him, "No… no, this is your punishment for being slow- and aloof all week!"

Chuck stole another kiss from her; he was happy, and feeling playful, "But this isn't the kind of punishment I like…"

Blair huffed at him, "Go do something useful! And no… that was not an invitation!"

She pushed her door shut and let out the huge smile she had been hiding. She went back to the box and pulled the dress out, holding it up in front of the mirror. _Stunning._

* * *

Blair had been spending so much time with either her books or preparing for the ball that Serena had to practically kidnap her best friend that night in order to spend time with her. They had gone to several bars by the time they had drunk enough to become properly silly. Their current location had karaoke, and Serena decided she needed a good laugh.

"Blair!" Serena shook her friends arm, "Sing us a song? I wanna hear your beauuuutiful voice," she slurred, pouting.

Blair was too far-gone to care that she was about to make a spectacle of herself. Hugging the tall blonde, she said "Aww, only for you, S! You know I love you, right?"

Serena pushed her towards the stage, "Go on…"

Finding a song almost immediately, Blair could not help herself. Did she ever stop thinking about Chuck? Fixing her dress and shaking her hair back, she grasped the mic, standing center stage. She posed, and rocked her hips to the music.

_I know all about,_

_Yeah, about your reputation…_

Serena started to laugh, was Blair really singing _The Right Kind of Wrong_? She pulled out her cellphone, hitting the record button- there needed to be evidence of this!

_You walk in and my strength walks out the door_

_Say my name and I can't fight it any more_

Blair was enjoying the spotlight and anyone might think she genuinely meant the words coming out of her mouth.

_Oh I know, I should go_

_But I need your touch just too damn much_

She shook her head, tousling her mass of soft curls.

_Loving you, that isn't really something I should do_

_I shouldn't wanna spend my time with you ya_

_Well I should try to be strong_

_But baby you're the right kind of wrong_

_Yeah, baby you're the right kind of wrong_

_It might be a mistake_

_A mistake I'm makin'_

_But what your giving I am happy to be taking_

Her hands traveled down the curves of her body.

_Cause no one's ever made me feel_

_The way I feel when I'm in your arms_

_They say you're somethin' I should do without_

She pointed out at no one in particular, lifting her chin defiantly

_They don't know what goes on_

_When the lights go out…._

She smirked - no, no one knew, except Chuck.

The crowd was cheering Blair on by this point. Her presence, standing center stage, was hard to ignore. Serena was so inebriated she only found the whole situation funny. While Blair's performance was undoubtedly alluring to every man in the room, she knew her friend was singing about dating Chuck Bass, if you could call it dating.

_I should try to run but I just can't seem to_

_'Cause every time I run you're the one I run to_

A genuine smile- she loved being able to run to him

_Can't do without what you do to me,_

_I don't care if I'm in to deep yeah…_

Blair crooned flawlessly, though she wobbled against the mic stand.

The diamond around Blair's neck sparkled in the spotlight and Serena thought that perhaps she should envy her friend's happiness. But she knew; she saw it sometimes in Blair's face, when she thought no one was looking. Being with Chuck was far from simple. That is what made Blair select this song, and Serena almost felt sad for her friend.

Blair sang the last line full of sass, pointing at Serena- and unknowingly, the camera, with a wink

_Yeah baby you're the right kind of wrong_

The song ended, the crowd applauding and cheering, as Serena hit save. Whether it was the alcohol, or something much less superficial, she pressed Chuck's number and then… _send_.

After a few more drinks, the girls were thoroughly drunk. Giggling, they clambered into Serena's town car.

"The Palace!" Blair half shouted to the chauffeur.

"What are you doing B?" Serena slurred, "I need to take you home."

"No, I'm not done having fun yet! I need me a man." Blair giggled. A few minutes later she was tumbling out of the town car.

* * *

Chuck and Nate were in their traditional repose on the sofa, smoking pot. Chuck had missed his phone going off when Serena's message had arrived.

"So, we're going to the ball next week, yeah?" Nate drawled.

"Yeah. We'll get ready here, take my limo." _Pick-up Blair._

At that moment, the door opened and… there was Blair, giggling. She came straight to him, sat in his lap, and kissed him.

"Maybe now I'll get to see what's so special about this one?" Nate laughed, so buzzed he did not realize Blair would have needed a key to enter the room.

Blair paused and turned to look at Nate, "Hi Nate! Oh, do you want to watch?"

Chuck realized Blair was absolutely drunk; _well this could be interesting_. He growled in her ear, "You're only mine, remember? That includes watching."

He pushed her to her feet, as he spoke to his friend "If you don't mind, Nathaniel?"

"I'm sure it's nothing so special, plus, I'm tired, and you get so noisy when you have… company. I'll catch you later, man." And with that, Nate departed.

Blair was pawing at him, clumsily, untucking his shirt and working to open the buttons. "What are you doing?" Chuck inquired, amused with her attentions.

"I'm trying to have wild hot sex with you," she stated, as quite a matter of fact. It was taking all of her effort to unbutton his shirt. She had managed three buttons so far.

"Hmm… that's not quite how you do it, Waldorf." Chuck laughed a little as she popped open the last button, "It's more like this."

He grasped the front of her blouse and with a single forceful pull, he tore it open, buttons scattering everywhere, never to be seen again. She sighed, and his lips met hers, his hot hands pushing her shirt away.

He was high and she was drunk, neither one really knew how they managed to get undressed and into his room. Blair fell back onto his bed, rather like in the dream from her birthday. Chuck looked down at her beautiful pale naked body lying before him, the city lights streaming through the widows to illuminate her. He recalled how all those months ago, he had wanted exactly this.

She grinned up at him, mischievousness gleaming in her eyes. Turning around, Blair dropped her head back off the edge of the bed, chocolate curls tumbling down towards the floor. He sighed as her hands wrapped around his cock, closing his eyes as her hot mouth engulfed him. Gasping, he staggered as she swallowed him, he felt he must be all the way down her throat, and it made his head spin.

Not to be outdone, Chuck leaned down, moaning as he licked her wet sex. He slipped two fingers inside her, and felt her gasp around him. She responded to the pleasure by grabbing his ass and taking him even deeper. His tongue curled around her clit, sucking her. He felt her head drop away from him, back against the edge of the bed, "Oh, fuck…."

He chuckled, "Well, if that's what you want next…" and turned her back around, grabbing her legs, dragging her ass to the edge of the bed. Chuck spread her legs wide and watched as he sank, slowly into her core. His eyes drifted up her body as he continued to take long luxurious strokes. When he looked upon her face, her gaze met his, and he reached up to caress her. She smiled at him, and her little tongue darted out, wetting her lips. His thumb travelled over those full lips, and she licked him. Smiling, his thumb sank into her hot mouth, and her tongue worked him as he worked her. Extracting his finger after a few delicious moments, he growled, "Who taught you to do such dirty things?"

Blair smirked at him, "You."

His hands tightly held her hips, half lifting her off the bed, slamming her body against his, out of lust, retribution, and pure pleasure. He grinned, watching her writhe beneath him, cursing and crying out his name. Growing closer to his peak, he reached up, and with a gentle, precise stroke he sent her spiraling ahead in climax.

When he pulled out, Blair instantly curled up, preparing for sleep to take her. But Chuck was not quite done with her yet. He pulled her off the bed, listening to her protest.

"Chuck… my legs are tired!"

"I'll take care of you, don't worry."

In the shower, the hot steam curled around them. Blair, truly not able to stand properly in her doubly compromised state, leaned back against the cool tile. Chuck worshipped her body, this body that gave him so much pleasure. He washed and touched every curve and inch of it, drinking in the sight and feel of her. Her white skin glowed pink, he imagined from the heat, but also their passion. He loved how her wet hair clung to her neck. By the time he had bathed her, he was fully aroused once more.

He kissed her, and she moaned in approval. He guided her hands to grasp him, her little fingers ringing tightly around him. Without coaxing, Blair dropped to her knees and he was in her mouth once more. Her rhythm was steady, and he fisted her long wet hair in his hands. When she brought her hands back up, one around his cock, the other caressing his balls; his mind went hazy with pleasure. He was in heaven. It only took a few blissful minutes, before he groaned, and with one hand he caught himself, unsteady on his feet, against the wall, while his other hand pressed Blair down and she promptly grabbed his ass and took him deep into her throat. Chuck could barely make a sound at the immense satisfaction of it all, but a low growl rumbled as he came, "Fuck…"

Blair had rocked back to lean against the wall when he released her. He stared down at her, and she smiled up at him, licking her lips. Then, she was suddenly adorable as a giant yawn overtook her. He laughed at her, "Alright, I'll let you sleep now."

He dried them both, and she struggled to stay awake. As soon as this was accomplished, he scooped her up in his arms, and laid her sweetly in his bed before joining her and pulling her close to him. Without another thought, his eyes were closed, and he was deep asleep.

* * *

Chuck roused Blair, who at 11AM was still passed out in his bed. She just grumbled at him.

"No… my head hurts."

"Come on, this will make you feel better." He sat next to her, water and painkillers in hand.

Blair grudgingly sat up, and took the medicine, drinking all of the water. She squinted up at him, "Ugh, what did I do last night?"

"Aside from me?" He smirked at her, "A whole lot of alcohol. So much you offered to let Nate watch us have sex."

"Oh my god… please tell me you are making that up." Blair looked horrified.

"Oh, not at all. Too bad I didn't let him stay; you put on quite a performance." He licked his lips. He was thinking another round might be in order. But there was a knock on the door. He sadly left her to see who it was.

Serena. He opened the door.

"Hey, please tell me Blair is still here. She's not answering her phone and she's not at home." the blonde fidgeted in her concern.

"She's here… though… in a compromising state of undress. Being thoroughly ravished by Chuck Bass will do that to a woman."

"Ew, Chuck!" Serena squealed.

"What? Like you have _no_ idea what I do to your best friend." Chuck grinned.

"If you're done? I'm not leaving without her, we have things to do," she stepped into the suite.

"Can I have her for an extra half hour? I promise Blair will be that much happier for it."

Blair peaked out of his room, wearing one of his robes, "S! I'm sorry, do I have time for a quick shower?"

Ignoring Chuck, Serena focused on her friend, "Just barely, be quick? And you owe me- for this." She gestured towards Chuck.

"Oh, Serena!" Blair closed the door, shaking her head.

The blonde stretched out on his sofa, "Did you like my message last night?"

"Message?" Chuck furrowed his brow. He lifted his phone off the coffee table. He watched the karaoke video, smiling, and laughing a little. Even drunk, Blair was good.

"You don't get it, do you?" Serena watched him as he put his phone down, "Even completely smashed, she still thinks about you _all the time_."

He stared at her, looking unaffected. "You two play at being friends, and then sneak off and have outrageous sex. How long do you think that can go on before something happens? You get tired, or she breaks? Chuck, she wants you. Don't be afraid of that."

Blair opened the door and stepped out of his room. She was wearing the same little black skirt from last night, and one of his black dress shirts, tied at her waist. Serena's words were weighing on him, but Chuck felt his heart race when he saw her walking towards him.

"Don't worry, I didn't forget to pay the toll." Blair winked at Chuck and kissed him on the cheek. Her panties were still dangling off of his dresser, where they had landed last night.

The girls moved towards the door, and she cheerfully called back, "See you tomorrow morning!" before they were gone.

Chuck simply sat there, time ticking past as he thought. There was a half-life on what they were doing. And if he were honest with himself, he would admit that he missed how they had been in Paris. Could they have that here? That person, and Chuck Bass, seemed worlds apart, it was daunting- an impossible task, even if he felt strong enough. _She wants you._ The thought caused something to stir inside him. Blair did that to him. Things were less than interesting when she was not with him. He found himself wondering once again, _what is this?_

He lay on the sofa, pulling a joint off the table from last night. Lighting it, he reflected on his interactions with Blair from the very beginning. The undeniable pull and attraction he felt for her; he still felt for her. She was always challenging him, in one way or another. He remembered her fiery brown eyes: _you will love me… some day._

* * *

They walked together the next morning, and Chuck was still thinking. The words flew from his mouth, though he had been turning such thoughts over and over in his mind for hours. "How do you know what love is?"

"I…." Blair was taken back by his question, "I think it must be different for everyone?"

She looked over at him, and he looked dissatisfied with her answer, so she tried again, "I've read so many novels, stared at paintings, and listened to great masterpieces. But my favorite idea of what falling in love must be like? Someone once said, when we fall in love, we hear Puccini in our heads. I like that. The way your heart swells, the way you feel uplifted when you hear Nessun Dorma. I think that might be what it feels like."

"Puccini, huh?" He smiled tenderly at her, and reached out to hold her hand. Perhaps he just needed to stop thinking so he could try and _feel_ that.

"Music just does something to me, it has so many layers. I think love must have many layers, too."

He thought on her words, their intertwined hands keeping each other warm in spite of the cool December air. Before they parted ways at school, Chuck leaned down and kissed her oh-so-carefully. If Puccini was playing in his head, he could not hear it over the sound of his heart beating in his ears.

* * *

After classes, Blair was in the auditorium with several committee members, planning the separate set list for the band to perform at the ball. Chuck was taking a break to watch her, leaning against a wall, hidden out of view. He just wanted to watch her, to try and feel, rather than think.

The band began playing _Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps_. He watched as Blair's feet began moving a little to the beat, her hips swaying as she stood there, scrutinizing the selection. He quietly came up behind her, and taking her arm he whirled her around and swept her into a rhumba.

_You won't admit you love me_

_And so how am I ever to know?_

_You always tell me_

_Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps_

Blair was startled to find herself in Chuck's arms and gliding across the floor. "Chuck- what are you doing?"

"Dancing with you."

_A million times I've asked you,_

_And then I ask you over again_

"Chuck Bass doesn't dance."

_You only answer_

_Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps_

"Clearly, that is a piece of misinformation, no?" He smirked at her. They moved together across the floor, he gracefully spun her and watched her smile.

_If you can't make your mind up_

_We'll never get started_

_And I don't wanna wind up_

_Being parted, broken-hearted_

He moved away from her, then pulled her back towards him, their faces passing so temptingly close as they danced.

_So if you really love me_

_Say yes, but if you don't dear, confess_

Blair's eyes were wide, the song played on and her heart beat wildly- _say yes._

_And please don't tell me_

_Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps_

Chuck spun Blair, moving around her. He watched as her dark hair flared out, her plaid skirt rising and swirling around her waist. She was beautiful, and the sight of her mesmerized him… she always mesmerized him.

_Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps_

_If you can't make your mind up_

_We'll never get started_

_And I don't wanna wind up_

_Being parted, broken-hearted_

They turned in circles, and she stared deep into his eyes. His hand came up, nearly caressing her face, but instead, he turned and spun her away from him.

_So if you really love me_

_Say yes, but if you don't dear, confess_

_And please don't tell me_

Blair's heart ached as they danced, teasing each other, so close- yet never close enough. _If you really love me_, she could not help but wonder… _love…_

_Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps_

_Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps_

_Perhaps... perhaps... perhaps_

Slowly, very, very slowly, he dipped her, letting her cling to him, her head titled just slightly, making it so terribly easy to kiss her. He stared into her eyes and saw how she felt. His heart thudded uncontrollably in his chest, but his mouth felt dry, his tongue too big and awkward to say anything.

The girls that had gathered around started applauding, and it shattered his contemplation. Chuck brought Blair up, and for once, _he_ looked flustered. Blair watched him intently as he kissed her cheek, and then, without a word, walked away. She rubbed her hands on her arms as she watched him. Their dancing had felt wonderful, but something was clearly going on with Chuck.

* * *

She went to him later, finding him in his bed, staring at the ceiling. Blair spoke softly, "Hey."

He turned his head, his heart jumping a little bit at the sight of her as she came to lie next to him. "Hey," he murmured back. They lay together in silence for several minutes, staring up at the light and dark playing across the ceiling.

"You dance beautifully," she whispered into the silence, smiling as she remembered how it felt in his arms, when he twirled her, and looked into her eyes.

_And you are beautiful_. "You looked like you wanted to dance…" It was the best reply he could come up with.

"Chuck."

"Yeah."

"What's going on?" Between this morning and the dance, Blair just wanted to call him out on it.

"I'm such a failure." The words were bitter in his mouth, "I've spent my whole life watching my father work, drink, and screw every model in New York. So that's what I do- if it's good enough for Bart Bass, it's more than good enough for his son. Never tied down, always cold, unfeeling, uninvolved. Yet he's always telling me to do something, make something of myself."

Blair watched him rake his hand through his hair, and reached down to wrap her hand around his.

Chuck turned his eyes from the ceiling and faced away from her, "And then, there's you…"

Her heart froze; terrified of what he was going to say when he could not even bear to look at her. Driven by instinct, she pulled her hand away, but he grabbed it back.

He still could not look at her, but he knew he had to keep talking, or she might run, her mind filling in the blanks with darkness. "I… I don't know what I'm doing, Blair. But, I can't stop. Nothing fits, nothing makes sense- I'm Chuck Bass, and you're Blair Waldorf. From the outside it's ridiculous, impossible. But when I'm with you… I feel…"

_Butterflies_. There, he named it, that feeling he had every time he was with her. That fluttering that filled him… he let them break free. He abruptly turned his head and kissed her, pulling her to him.

Blair filled with relief but was quickly taken over by a warm happiness as he kissed her, and held her close. _Love_… It flickered across her mind, and she sighed a little as he pressed against her. Heat rushed through her. His hands were working to open his pants, and she moved to help him. The memory of their last night in Paris came back to her, and she recalled how much she wanted all of this… wanted all of him.

He slipped between her legs, never breaking their kiss. He was too needy to deal with her underwear, reaching down; he simply pulled it aside and buried himself inside her. They both cried out a glorious sigh as they coupled. _How could this be?_ He wondered, how could sex with Blair keep getting better- more incredible?

She reveled in his kisses, in the feel of him as he filled her so completely. They rocked together, and she desperately wanted this feeling to never end, even as her body tightened and the little ripples of heat began to spread through her. She whimpered a moment in protest of the orgasm that had come… so fast. Blair then sighed, and her hands dug into his pale yellow shirt, his mouth still pressing against her, encouraging her as her body shuddered against his.

When it passed, she was annoyed with herself- with him, for causing it! She bit his lip, and he drew his mouth away, letting her berate him, even as he rode her still, "Fuck you, why did you make me come so fast?"

Chuck made a small laugh, "I can't help how good I feel inside you. Besides…" He was purring in her ear, "I'm Chuck Bass. So, if it bothers you so much, you'll just have to do it again."

He grabbed her waist, and rolled them over. He loved the sight of that demur little plaid skirt, lying about its innocence as it covered the sight of him buried deep inside her. He pulled her down, and they kept kissing as she ground her hips against his; she was so wet around him, it was heaven, and it made him ache. She just felt too good. He slipped his hand under her skirt and caressed the wet, sensitive nub of her sex, sending her into the second orgasm. He grabbed her ass as she bucked against him; Chuck felt the delicious rush overtake him as he came, her tightness around him, milking every drop from his body as she finished her own climax.

He rolled them to lie side by side, still holding her close, though she mewled as he pulled out of her. He ran his hand through her soft hair as he kept kissing her, as though the sex had hardly been enough to sate his hunger for her.

Blair sighed happily in his arms as they continued kissing. Happiness! Such total and complete happiness. She began popping open the buttons on her blouse, and pulling away from him and out of the bed.

Chuck moaned in protest as her lips finally parted from his, "Where are you going?"

"I'm so hot… and sticky…" She pouted, her brown eyes large, yet her mouth was smiling wickedly, as her shirt dropped to the floor and she walked towards the bathroom, her hips swaying.

"Well… I do always love what happens when we shower together…" Chuck was on his feet in no time, half chasing her into the shower.

* * *

The remainder of the week passed just like this. Chuck and Blair wrapped in a bubble of happiness. Besides having to deal with finals and the extra stress the last preparations of the Snowflake Ball were causing her, Blair also had to prepare for the talent show Serena had finally convinced her to enter, celebrating the end of the term. But it was okay because Chuck was there, to make her smile, laugh, and to… massage away her stress.

Chuck let the week slip by, uninhibited by his uncertainty. He followed his pleasure, and his pleasure was Blair. Watching her, touching her, seducing her every chance he found. It was a delicious means of existence.

* * *

**AN: Chapter title taken from Maggi's very first fan fic! Happy Graduation Maggi! ****If you haven't, check out the link in my profile, or my tumblr, to see the stunning cover art she made for this story, as well as checking out her story, like you have been for all the chapter titles, no? ^_^**

**Hugs kisses and inappropriate comments to Georgia (CheeryFan/Atalanta) for being my editor, how did I get so lucky? And lovings to Alyssa (GGFan73104) and Elizabeth (Not/OutForAWalk) for being my cheerleaders. **


	16. Raze It To The Rocks

Chapter Sixteen:

Raze It To The Rocks

Bart pinched the bridge of his nose; he was exhausted and looking forward to a few hours of sleep in his own bed. Opening the door to the suite, he was greeted with the cry of, "Oh, fuck… Chuck!" Rolling his eyes, he entered his bedroom, glancing at the clock, 1:35AM. Seriously, his son was something else.

Dressing the next morning, he heard them going at it again. Good lord. He had heard them in his sleep, as well. There was no way Chuck had been doing the same girl all night long, despite the fact that his son was once again crying out "Blair" like he had several weeks before. Bart had no idea what Blair Waldorf was doing to his son, but it was rather exceptional to witness.

He was standing in the kitchen with his coffee, reading the paper, when his son's bedroom door opened. A petite brunette exited, wearing a lovely little dress. And that's when it hit him. That was no prostitute. It _was_ Blair Waldorf. His mind tried to absorb this information as he watched her turn, startled to find the presence of another person in the suite.

"Good morning, Mr. Bass." Impeccable manners swung into motion, saving her from running out of the room, as she would have much preferred to do.

"Good morning, Ms. Waldorf."

"I was just… bringing Chuck his bow tie, for the ball tonight." Her cheeks were flushed from being discovered.

"My son's bow tie, for the ball?" Bart wanted more information, but refused to ask or appear curious.

"Yes, I wanted to make sure it was the same shade of pink as my dress. Such a little thing, but it can make such a difference in the way a couple appears together. Don't you agree?" Blair could not help but ramble a little, as this was so uncomfortable.

"Quite." Bart's eyes shifted from Blair, to his son, as he entered the room, the top of his silk pajamas open. Chuck was so distracted, he had not yet registered that Bart was even in the room, his eyes hungrily consuming the sight of Blair. He wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her neck, before she cleared her throat, trying to draw his attention to the fact that they were not alone. Bart was simply amused, and a bit intrigued to see his son's behavior. "Good morning, Chuck."

Chuck's arms dropped and he stepped away from Blair as though he had been caught doing something very wrong. "Good morning."

Blair looked at the two men and could feel the tension in the room. Part of her wanted to stay, to help Chuck. But she also knew that this was between the two of them, and the most she could do was let him know she was there for him, if he needed her. She took his hand, and squeezed it. When he turned to look at her, she gave him a reassuring smile before kissing his cheek, and whispering, "Be strong."

"It was nice to see you again, Mr. Bass." And with that she departed, just in time for her phone to buzz at her. It was Hazel- time for the day to begin!

Chuck buttoned up his shirt and joined his father in having some coffee.

"So there's a ball tonight?" Bart spoke, still looking down at the paper.

"Yes, Blair is the chairwoman."

"Quite an… accomplished young lady, isn't she?"

Chuck flushed at the insinuation in his father's voice.

"I should commend you for seducing such a creature. She's given me hope that you may just grow into a decent person after all. No jail visits in months, no calls from the school, and Charles, matching your bow tie? Well, I never..." Bart chuckled and closed the paper.

There was a knock at the door. Bart answered it as he departed, another chuckle rumbling as he glanced at his son.

"Hey, man!" It was Nate.

Chuck was so disturbed by his father's comments that a good smoke and his best friend were a welcome distraction. They spent the day just being guys, smoking, making crude jokes, and reliving some of their wilder expeditions. Occasionally his father's words would bubble up again... he made it sound like Blair would mold him, make him into another rich boring Upper East Side snot. Chuck Bass was no one's masterpiece.

* * *

Blair spent the morning at the Plaza, finalizing every last detail of the ball. By the time she returned home, she was exhausted. She collapsed onto her bed, realizing a nap might just be in order after, she smiled at herself, getting less than the recommended eight hours of sleep last night. She rolled over and hid her head in the pillows. _Oh! What is it he does to me? He makes me feel so… _Blair could not think of a word for it. She just felt overwhelmed with happiness at the mere thought of Chuck. She fell asleep for a little while, dreaming of being in his arms as he whirled her across the dance floor tonight.

Dorota woke her with a light lunch before Blair began the long process of dressing for the ball. She showered with meticulous attention to detail, and then had Dorota work on her hair until she was satisfied. The maid left and she let her robe drop to the floor. Slipping the thong into place, she smiled; thinking how the nude satin set was one of many Chuck had bought for her in Paris. Sitting at her vanity, she rolled her stockings up her thighs, thinking of Chuck's hands on her, how he would pull these off of her later tonight, or be so ensnared he would not bother with them- the first time around, at least.

Turning, Blair looked at the long pale pink dress that lay on her bed. She reached up and pulled the long dress on, sighing as the cool silk dropped down, clinging to her body. Her heart thudded in her chest, thinking how Chuck picked this just for her, and she felt as though she was wrapped in more than just silk. She turned and looked at her reflection in the mirror. She gasped a little, smiling at how she glowed. The diamond twinkled around her neck and she realized this was all Chuck's; this was how he made her feel. She wanted to be his, all his, and he had claimed her from top to bottom, inside and out. From the lingerie she wore, to her dress, and the diamond around her neck, they were all Chuck's, just like her.

* * *

The boys began to dress for the ball. Nate noticed Chuck putting on his bow tie. He laughed, "What is this? I know you've got that whole sartorial thing going on, but this?"

"Hey, it's a perfectly nice bow tie. And hurry up, we have to pick up Blair soon."

"We're picking up Blair? I thought you'd just take an escort like always. Dude, I get that she must be some lay, but damn," Nate shook his head, "I knew something was off with that bow tie, that's not you, that's her! What are you, her boyfriend now?" he scoffed in disappointment.

_Boyfriend_? Chuck could not handle it. Part of him was surprised it had taken this long to hear the words, but most of him was repulsed. _Boyfriend_. "Chuck Bass doesn't _do_ girlfriends. I'm just having some fun, Nathaniel."

Nate watched his friend as he perfected the knot of the pink bow tie, shaking his head, his voice dripping with sarcasm, "Who knows, maybe this is what Chuck Bass looks like when he's fallen in love?"

Chuck's eyes went hard as he met his friend's gaze in the mirror, "I don't know what love is. It is of no concern to me, what would I do with some love struck female?" _And no one sure as hell could ever love me._ But thinking on the way Blair looked at him, they way they kissed, her smile when she saw him. _Could she maybe love him?_

The two boys were quiet as they left the suite and took the limo to pick-up Blair. Chuck was relieved when he exited the limo alone to enter her building. He and Nate had never argued about anything. The strain was disconcerting.

Blair came down the stairs moments after he stepped in the foyer, and Chuck swallowed hard, his mouth going dry the moment he saw her. Her beautiful curls were swept up and cascaded down to tease her neck. His diamond glimmered at her throat and the pale pink dress he had given her... He could hardly breathe. The dress was no doubt beautiful, but the way it caressed and hugged her body perfectly… _Oh fuck_, this had been the problem all along. Her, and all the inexplicable things she did to him.

She was smiling at him and she reached out, taking his hand, "Hi, handsome."

He could not escape her pull and he cupped her face, smiling as he leaned down and kissed her. Happiness fluttered inside of him at the feel of her. He let it fill him as he pulled her into the elevator, still kissing. It was a challenge collecting his cool exterior as they slid into the limo.

Chuck watched as Nate looked at Blair. "You look lovely, Blair, that is a beautiful dress."

Blair blushed and fidgeted, smoothing invisible creases in the silk, "It was a gift…."

"Really?" Nate raised an eyebrow in question at Chuck. Chuck proceeded to look out the window.

Blair was too happy to notice the strain of awkwardness between the two boys, "Are you excited for the ball, Nate?"

"I think it will be… interesting, to see everyone interacting outside of school together." Nate gave Chuck another rather pointed look. Chuck pretended not to see him.

Blair was saying something about the music when Chuck turned to look at her. Just the sight of her made his heart quicken and his hands itch to touch her. He caught Nate watching him and turned to gaze out the window once more. At last, they had arrived at The Plaza.

The trio exited the limo, and instantly Blair was on his arm. Nate had stalked off to greet some friends, leaving Chuck to be pulled through a procession of greeting Blair's acquaintances and committee members. Serena was one of the first to greet them.

"My, don't you two make quite the pair!" she smiled at Chuck and hugged her best friend.

"I'll catch up with you more, later?" She turned to another friend, but not before adding, "Oh, and love the bow tie!" with a wink.

It was tedious meeting all these pointless, annoying people and Chuck tried to say as little as possible. People were congratulating Blair on the ball, other friends came by to simply say hello. Most of them had the same response when they saw her on his arm. He felt Hazel probably had the best reaction out of all of them when she came to greet Blair.

"This is way cooler than that stupid Planetarium. And I told you the caterer wouldn't mess up the desserts. Oh," Hazel's eyes gazed up at Chuck's face, "Your date is… Chuck Bass," she whispered, the words tumbling out of her mouth and her eyes wide at seeing the pair truly together.

Blair was so sublimely happy with everything that people's reaction to Chuck was positively lost on her, "That is a lovely dress, Hazel. Is it not one of my mother's originals?"

Hazel sputtered, "Yes, I," she glanced up at Chuck again as Penelope intervened on the group.

"My, my, Blair Waldorf _and_ Chuck Bass, in the light of day! Snapshots and Gossip Girl rumors are one thing, but I can't believe you got him to bring you to the ball. I can only _imagine_ what you had to do to convince him," Penelope dropped, giving them both a rather disdainful look.

"Penelope, it's so good to see you made it. You'll have to excuse me, but Chuck Bass is more of a gentleman than the long line of guys we all know you've taken into the bathroom at PJ Clarke's. And P, peach is really just not your color," Blair countered, looking distastefully at the other girl's dress.

Penelope began to blush crimson as she scowled at Blair, "I can wear peach! And how can you defend someone like…"

Chuck was not about to listen to this peach colored harpy attack Blair anymore so he cut Penelope off, mid-sentence. Not with words, but by pulling Blair, her entire silk-clad body, against him and kissing her deeply.

There it was again. Those butterflies, fluttering so hard his mind went fuzzy and his breathing turned shallow. This. This was his problem and his solution all in one. How she made him feel this way, he almost did not care. He wanted to take her back to the limo, or the bathroom, or just… anywhere; he wanted to be with her, consumed by this feeling she caused in him.

When they finally pulled apart, Penelope's jaw was on the ground, but he did not notice for he was entranced by the stars in Blair's eyes. They turned to move on, leaving Penelope in their wake, when Chuck caught Nate's gaze. A cold look of disapproval flashed in his best friend's blue eyes. _Boyfriend_.

Blair was pulling at Chuck's arm now, ever so slightly, towards the dance floor, "You know," she teased him, "this is a dance. Don't think you were going to get out of this."

Their presence demanded the attention of the entire room as Blair pulled him onto the dance floor, just as a waltz began. She was looking up at him, so incredibly happy, though he could still feel Nate's eyes bearing down on him full of distain.

Blair's heart beat wildly in her chest as she looked up at him. Blissful. It was the only word for this level of perfect happiness. Her cheeks were pink without the help of make-up. His arms held her tight, and Blair glowed. _This is it_, she thought, _how can there be anything more than this?_ _This feeling_… she wanted to dance like this with him forever.

Chuck had a small smile on his face, for he was giving her such happiness. She was light and beautiful in his arms, but he felt disconnected now. Nate, his father, the way everyone had looked at him with her tonight. _I'm Chuck Bass and you're Blair Waldorf_. What had he really expected to happen between them? She had said once that she did not know how their story would end. However, he did. He always had. This happiness, it could not be real- it could never have lasted. He was Chuck Bass and Blair deserved someone who could give her real happiness- a real relationship. That was not him; he did not know love, how could he love anyone? The butterflies she made him feel were cruel and her allure made him yearn for an unrealistic ideal. _Chuck Bass… in love._

She felt radiant in his arms. Her heart swelled as he spun her out, then pulled her close again. The song slowed near its end but Blair looked so beautiful in his arms, he didn't want to let her go just yet. With the final cords, Chuck leaned in and kissed her, so tenderly.

Blair felt lightheaded, her body tingled as he held her, his lips warm and tender against hers. When he pulled away she gazed into his deep dark eyes, thinking she could spend the rest of her life lost in them. Her breath rushed from her lungs, "I love you."

His head snapped back and he swallowed hard, his jaw flexing as he stared into her dark eyes, searching. He could see the bliss, feel it radiating from her: she had said it. He had suspected… seen it in her eyes, felt it when he kissed her, but now, it was real, burning in his ears. The cruel butterflies fluttered hard: _love, yes, love!_ He came apart, fighting the butterflies, freezing them out- how could she do this? How could she make him feel such things? Her power over him was too much; _Blair would mold him- he was no one's masterpiece._

He revolted.

"That's too bad," dripped from his lips, hard and bitter. He pulled completely away from her, "No one feels that way about Chuck Bass."

The blissful feeling suddenly fled from Blair as his response stripped her bare, leaving her cold and naked. Her mind was fuzzy, full of static, and she furrowed her brow, "But…"

Her confusion set him off. She had thought he loved her? That Chuck Bass actually loved her? What had she done to him that love had suddenly become a possibility? _Who knows, maybe this is what Chuck Bass looks like when he's fallen in love?_ Remembering Nate's words made him sick. He was disgusted with himself and rancor spiraled through him at all she had caused him to do and feel. Now she was expecting the impossible from him. He could not love, and no one should or could feel that way for him- there was no place for love in his life. He did not need love. Her love. Clearly he had gone too far with her, Nate was right, his father, everyone was right.

"But what?" He sneered at her, "It was a game. A challenge. It was fun for a while, but now you've just gone and ruined it. Did you really think I was going to melt into some prince charming before your eyes and say it back?" he laughed harshly, mocking her. "No. You're just another virgin I've turned into a whore. It was delicious wiping away your purity. I loved watching how dark and dirty our little pristine princess turns with her thighs wrapped around me," he paused reaching out and dragging a finger along the side of her face, "begging for me to fuck you and make you cry for me as you come."

He ridiculed her, and his words shattered all of her illusions as though they were made of finely spun crystal. She felt her chest caving in, tears filled her eyes, and she gasped a sob as her hand came to cover her mouth at the horror of it all.

Everyone had turned to watch them; they had all heard what Chuck said. Blair wanted to collapse on the floor, but somehow, she found some strength and she fled from the ballroom.

Chuck's eyes were hard as he gazed out into the crowd. He caught sight of Serena staring at him, a blonde sentinel, her blue eyes cold as she slowly shook her head at him before leaving to find her friend.

Hurrying outside, Serena was just in time to see Blair slip into a limo; she had shut her out.

"Home!" Blair shouted at the driver. She felt disgusting; dirty… she had to get this dress off! Returning home, she rushed to her room, pulling at the material that was clinging to her skin. Sobbing, she was hysterical as she grabbed a pair of scissors from her desk. Dropping to the floor, scissors in hand, she chaotically cut the gown from her body.

Blair wailed as her heart broke more with every tear of the fabric. _It was a game! I knew better…. I knew better! I… I thought he cared for me… didn't he?_ Memories of him blurred in her mind, his smile, his warm eyes, his hands and mouth on her, the joy of his body filling her when they… had sex? Made love? _What the fuck was that if it wasn't love! A game… a challenge…. that I lost. _

A memory rose to the surface of her mind, the image so bright, she could see them before her, standing in this very room: _"You are going to beg, Blair Waldorf, for me to not just take your virginity, but to fuck you senseless and give you the greatest pleasure you will ever experience." _I lost.

The crying left her exhausted; her emotions had drained her. The world weighed heavy on her shoulders and she did not care enough to even try to move to her bed. Blair curled up on the floor, shreds of the tattered dress- her tattered heart, strewn around her, tears still effortlessly streaming down her face.

Her eyes were hot, and her eyelids felt heavy as they closed. She felt numb as her mind thought of nothing but Chuck. How she had been shocked and angry the first time he had kissed her. Lingerie. The feel of his hand holding hers as they walked through the park. Peonies. _I see you._ His hands on her hips. The way he looked at her on her birthday. His smirk. Reading in the library together. Paris. All of Paris. _Make me yours._ The feel of him, buried deep inside of her. _You will love me… some day. _

Serena arrived awhile later. She roused Blair, helping her up from the mess on the floor to her bed. Picking up the bits and pieces of the gown, she placed them in the box the once whole dress had arrived in. Her own heart ached for her friend. What had happened was cruel, how could anyone be so unfeeling? Anger seethed in her, and she wrote a note for Dorota, placing it with the box in the hallway. Only then did she crawl into bed with Blair, stroking the girl's hair, watching over her until her own eyes were weighed down with sleep.

* * *

Chuck awoke the next morning, hung over, two girls wrapped around him, feeling the hard edge of the coke he had snorted the night before. Removing himself from the bed, he sought out a bottle of his favorite scotch. A large box lay on the counter, it looked familiar, but his mind was much too hazy to know why. Pulling the lid aside, the scent of Blair wafted forth as his eyes fell on the dress. He frantically took in the sight of it, a dress no more, only a pile of jagged scraps of fabric. Burying his hands in the feel of them, his mouth went dry as the distorted memory of last night tried to restore itself. _Oh god._

* * *

**AN: Chapter title taken from The Very Last Valkyrie's fic, where she flips the situation that is season one. Sadly on hiatus. **

**See my Tumblr for the dress Blair wears. The song I wrote their dance to is Sarah McLachlan's Last Dance.**

**This line is in memorium to the two days, two headaches, about ten hours on Google Chat, and the bottle of hard cider I drank, that were the edits to this chapter. The climax required perfection, and Georgia and I settled for nothing less than the best we could do. I know how much you want to hit the next button, but do consider pausing to review?  
**


	17. Ritualistic Wall Pounding

Chapter Seventeen:

Ritualistic Wall Pounding

The clock on the wall read 1:00pm. Chuck stumbled towards his phone, fumbling to open it. There was a text message. Opening it at last, he saw a photo of Blair, Serena at her side.

_The scene at last night's ball is already a legend._

_C bragging about how he took B's V-card_

_While taking her dignity, too_

_Poor B, did no one tell you?_

_Fairy tales never come true_

_When you bet on a Basshole._

_Your know you love me,_

_xoxo_

_Gossip Girl_

Chuck stared at her face. Blair's eyes were hard, her face unsmiling, _she should always be smiling_. It was as though the dress she had chosen to wear was deliberate in showing her barren neckline; she had taken off his diamond. Anger humming in his veins, his hand curled around the small device. Suddenly the phone splintered to pieces against the wall.

Nate groaned from the sofa, "What the fuck man?"

* * *

**Earlier that day:**

Blair sat before her vanity. Serena and Dorota had managed to get her showered and dressed, but she felt hollow and numb. The girl in the mirror was unrecognizable. The diamond around her neck glimmered, and her awareness of it caused it to suddenly weigh heavily around her throat. Disgusted, her hands reached back and unclasped the jewel. She had never taken it off in all these weeks and as she removed it, it felt like a lead weight was being lifted from her chest. Blair dropped it unceremoniously onto her vanity.

Serena walked back into the room just then, and her eyes instantly fell to the spot where the diamond had once sparkled, "B…" But Blair gave her friend a hard stare and Serena said nothing on the subject.

She needed to cheer her friend up, take her mind off of last night. "I thought maybe we should go out for lunch? Perhaps do a little shopping?"

Blair did not really have an opportunity to argue. Serena was determined to keep her busy, and her mind off of wallowing and crying over Chuck. They walked through the city arm in arm and she did feel a little more alive next to her bubbly friend. She absorbed and admired the city that was her home. New York was where dreams came true, it inspired greatness, and nothing was impossible here. But its brightness felt tarnished for her, now. Memories of Chuck were tucked in every corner, and the thought of seeing him- running into him, gripped her heart and made her stomach roll.

They were playing at Bendel's and Blair smiled at the iconic space that surrounded her with a tinge of sadness, "S, I'm going to Paris."

"I know, B, you're going for the holidays, to spend Christmas with your dad and Roman."

"No. I'm not coming back." Blair's face was blank; she knew it was the only way.

Serena dropped the cocktail ring she had been toying with. "Blair, you can't…" She threw her arms around the brunette, "You can't leave me."

"I know, but I'm sorry, S. I just… I can't be here right now." Blair hugged her friend tight before they pulled apart. She saw tears threatening to break free from those blue eyes. "Hey, you're not allowed to cry! You're much too bubbly for that!"

"And you're not supposed to leave me!" The blonde pouted.

Blair shook her head, "Gertrude Stein said America is my country and Paris is my home town. I need that feeling of comfort, and safety… I need my father, and a city free of…" her eyes drifted to the floor.

Serena hugged her friend again. "I want to crush him."

The brunette, "Oh S, as if revenge would make my heart ache any less."

The girls ended their embrace and Serena had a thought, "I think you would be surprised how good a little revenge can make you feel. What do you say, should we perhaps make one go at him before you leave?"

Blair pursed her lips, "I don't know, S…." yet, the idea of sharing a little of her pain with him, showing him how much he had hurt her, made her curious to hear what her friend had to say, "Do you have something in mind?"

* * *

**Presently in suite 1812:**

Nate haphazardly sat up, "What's your deal?"

"It's over…" Chuck growled.

"What? You and Blair? Um, yeah, I'd say you took care of that pretty well." Nate laughed.

"Fuck you, Nate," Chuck spat.

Nate instantly stopped laughing, a look of shock on his face. "It was a game, you said so yourself. She was just another piece of ass."

"She made me _happy_." Chuck said it.

The words sat between the two boys. Nate was startled; Chuck had never been concerned with things like _happiness_. Sex, drugs, and the pleasure money could buy, that was Chuck. But… happiness?

Saying it aloud had made it real at last for Chuck, and the knowledge of it tore at him. He sat down on the sofa next to his friend.

"I…" Nate was at a loss. He came to Chuck to experience the things the world offered, to learn the secrets underneath the glowing façade around him. What did he have to offer Chuck Bass?

"I know…." Chuck murmured.

"What was the phone about?" Nate asked softly.

"Let me see your phone." Nate pulled it from his pocket, and Chuck showed him the Gossip Girl blast.

"Shit," Nate uttered.

"Yeah."

Nate pulled a pair of joints out of the box on the coffee table. He looked at his friend; out of all the times, he had seen Chuck hungover, coming down from various highs, he had never seen him look as bad as this. He handed him a joint. "I think you could use one of these?"

Chuck laughed disparagingly, "Just one?"

They lit up, minutes slipping into hours in a haze of smoke. Chuck pondered exactly all that had happened since last night.

At first all he could think was _fuck_, over and over, _fuck_. Blair had pushed him. He took a long drag from the joint. The things she had gotten him to do. The ball. That damn bow tie. She had made him weak. And for what? His thoughts were derisive; Blair was not the prettiest girl he had ever met, nor the best sex he had ever experienced.

Nate was quiet, letting Chuck unwind. He watched as a range of emotions passed over Chuck's face. "Mm… so what now?" he wondered.

Chuck was so angry with Blair, he was hardly able to process that Nate had spoken, "What?"

"What's next? It's the end of term tomorrow; we have the whole holiday break ahead of us. We could have a lost weekend? Chase tail in the Caribbean, or Europe? Maybe Asia?"

"I don't know. I'm still too pissed to see straight," Chuck grumbled.

It was clear by now to Nate that what had happened last night was eating at Chuck, "Aren't you going to talk to her? I can see you're thinking about Blair. If it's bothering you this much, you should go to her and apologize."

"Me? Apologize? She was the one who pushed me, the things I did for her..." Chuck huffed.

"Were because you like her. If you did not want to do something, no one could have made you do it. Hell, you defy Bart Bass more than you listen to him."

Chuck was silent as he tried to find a flaw in Nate's argument, trying to think of a possible example of when Blair had been pushy with him. Yet, all he could recall were the last words she had said to him yesterday morning: _be strong_.

Nate continued to watch through thick lashes as his friend struggled with his thoughts and feelings.

"Oh well," he sighed, "Don't worry about her. Sure, you were harsh, but she'll recover. More than that, I bet at school tomorrow she'll have a line of guys waiting for her after what you said." Nate mused. If Chuck wouldn't admit his feelings, and that he should apologize, jealousy was an age old means of spurring a man into action.

Chuck furrowed his brow in confusion, "How do you figure?"

"Last night, yeah, you thoroughly tore her down, but you also declared to every guy at school that you had her- multiple times. You gave Blair Waldorf a pedigree no other girl on this island has. You tell me other guys are not going to be curious to see what she's got going on that you didn't kick her out of bed like all the others?" Nate smiled at his eloquent assessment, taking another hit from his joint.

Chuck's stomach turned at his friend's words, and something stabbed him in his chest. He stood and poured a glass of scotch, tossing it back. The image of Blair's legs wrapped around some other guy made him violently ill. The scotch burned, but it could not burn the image away. He had to do something. _I am yours, Chuck- only yours_. He stubbed out his joint and hastened to his room, barking at the prostitutes to get out as he entered the bathroom to shower.

Nate simply pulled out a second joint, chuckling as he lit it.

Clean and dressed, Chuck simply nodded to Nate as he left.

"Go get 'em." Nate called out before he heard the door close.

Slipping into the limo, Chuck went to find Blair. But first he found that pink bow tie peaking out from between the seat cushions. He pulled it free, and felt the silk between his fingers. Silky, soft… like her hair, her lips, her skin when he touched her. _God, what have I done?_

He flew up the stairs to her room. But he only found Dorota, packing. "Dorota! Where is she?"

The maid gave him a cold, hard stare, "She is out with Miss Serena. I hope you never find her…" Dorota began grumbling in Polish.

Chuck was momentarily distracted by the maid packing Blair's suitcase. "What are you packing Blair's things for?"

"Holiday." Dorota refused to say another word, and panic began to lay in to him.

* * *

Serena and Blair spent the rest of the afternoon shopping with a single-minded determination. Blair had to find the perfect dress. Barney's, Bergdorf's, and a myriad of their favorite boutiques, they searched. It was exhausting, but it was the kind of exhausting Blair needed. Serena was massaging her temples, fending off a headache when she heard Blair gasp and dash towards the dressing rooms.

"B?" Serena walked into the dressing area, "Did you find something?"

"Yes… yes, this is it." Blair unlatched the door.

She stepped on the dais and looked into the mirrors. Serena thought she was the most beautiful, yet ghostly image she had ever seen.

Blair held the box tight as they returned to her home. In her room, they sat on her bed, and she held Serena's hand, "S… help me finish packing?"

"Of course, B… of course."

Standing, Blair closed her door, locking it. She feared the world outside her door and its infinite possibilities. The two girls wrapped themselves in a cocoon of couture and memories, lovingly tucking them into suitcases.

* * *

Chuck searched for Blair at Serena's, the park, the Met, Bergdorf's. He burned the rest of the day away hoping to find her. Night had crept over the city before he realized it, and he made one last attempt to find her, returning to her home. His heart thudded in his chest when he saw her door closed. His fingers tingled as he touched the doorknob, and he imagined seeing Blair at her desk studying, or perhaps already sweetly sleeping in bed? But the door did not give way: locked. He snapped at being denied access to her and pounded his fist on the door, "Blair!"

The two girls looked at one another across the suitcase they were packing. Tears instantly welled up in Blair's eyes, and Serena pulled the girl into a hug, "Hush, don't cry. He might hear you."

"Blair!" His voice was harsh in his throat. He had no idea what he was doing, he just needed to see her,

"Please… it only makes sense that you are there if the door is locked."

Serena could not believe he had the nerve to be here. His boldness and demands rankled her as Blair sobbed against her. _Enough_. "Stay here, B. I'll get rid of him."

She exited through the adjoined bathroom and entered the hallway without Chuck seeing her. She was careful to block the door, just in case he deduced where she had come from. He was pathetically leaning against Blair's door when she spoke.

"You need to leave, Chuck." Her voice was clear and firm.

His dark hair was a mess, falling over his forehead, his eyes black and hollow when he turned to look at her, "I need to see her."

Serena laughed, "After last night? Really? You think she's going to open that door and fall into your arms, after _that_?"

"Please, Serena… you don't understand." There was a note of pleading in his voice.

That pleading broke Serena, "No, Chuck, _you_ don't understand. You didn't find her collapsed on the floor last night or held her while she cried herself to sleep," she paused, trying to restrain her sadness.

The image Serena painted was painful, and it only increased his resolve to see Blair for himself. His voice was cool as he stared her down, "This is between Blair and me. So get out of my way."

Serena's sorrow quickly turned into anger, her next words were caustic and loud, "No, you fucking son of a bitch, get out!"

Her blue eyes were icy; he would leave, but he would also have the last word, "You cannot keep her from me forever. See you _both_ at school tomorrow."

He pushed passed her in the hallway, and she watched him go down the stairs, dejected. She dared not breathe until she heard the elevator. She stayed with Blair again that night, trying to guard against the memory of Chuck's words. Serena promised herself as they drifted off to sleep, _he will not touch you tomorrow._

Chuck tried to sleep that night, but it was fitful, the image of Blair's face as the horror of his words struck her burned in his mind. Serena's words also haunted him; he could vividly picture Blair shredding the dress from her body as she wept and how Serena must have tried to comfort her friend. He continued to fight for sleep, but the pain only increased as he recalled the happiness they had together, the feel of her, and the pain he had now caused her. His whole body ached as he realized how empty he felt. He missed her... he had screwed up, and he missed her.

* * *

Serena held Blair's hand as they stepped through the gates of the school. Though they had tried to arrive as late as possible, the crowd in the courtyard was still large- as though they were waiting to see if Blair would show up. The noise level dropped as everyone turned to stare.

Blair's heart pounded in her chest, _one period, I just have to get through one period_. She only had to make it through homeroom before preparations for the talent show began. The whispers and stares were overwhelming; boys were smirking at her and leering, as though they could see through her uniform. Serena squeezed her hand and kept her moving.

A group of students began to part and Blair's heart ached, knowing... Chuck emerged from behind them, his deep caramel eyes locking on hers. Her breath went shallow and her head felt light. _Keep moving,_ she commanded her feet.

"Blair... Please!" Chuck voice was barely above a whisper as he grasped the sleeve of her blazer.

"No!" Blair jerked her arm away from him, "You've already had your say, Chuck. Just leave me alone!" Her feet were firm on the ground as she walked away from him into her half of the school.

Even in her humiliation and pain, she was so beautiful and it clawed at him. The murmur of voices floated around him as he stared after her. His eyes narrowed at the students who were now whispering about him. Turning on his heels, he retreated to homeroom.

* * *

The talent show was one more opportunity for students to compete for an award while showing off those private lessons their parents forced them through. Chuck flopped down in his seat next to Nate. He never competed - Chuck figured the faculty would not approve of drinking and fucking on stage, and Nate did enough sports, he hardly needed another award.

"Did Blair tell you what she's going to sing?" Nate prodded his friend.

"How would I know? It's not like I was her boyfriend, I just fucked her, remember?" Chuck was bitter and sarcastic. He could only think of how much he wanted everything to go back to the way it had been, back when they had been happy. Maybe over the break, with some time, they could go back? Yes, if he had some time, he would get her back and he could be happy again…

Before Nate had a chance to ask anything more, the show began. It was a mini Carnegie Hall performance. Piano, violin, flute, dance, voice, every student had been taking lessons for years. Normally Chuck would have snuck off with Nate for a joint, but he had to see Blair. He mentally groaned, how much longer?

Back stage, Serena fixed Blair's hair to be just so, and smiled at her friend, holding her hand. "You're going to do beautifully, B."

"I feel like I'm going to cry already," She stared into Serena's blue eyes, "How can I go out there in front of… everyone?"

"It's going to be okay. You'll be safe on stage. Just think of Chuck. Show him. Give him some of your pain, and then…"

The stagehand cut Serena off, and with a whirl, Blair was taking the stage.

The students in the audience all murmured, after everything, no one thought she would _really_ perform today; Chuck looked up. There she was, in a beautiful blue dress, the same blue… he realized, as that first set of lingerie he had bought for her all those months ago. The heart he thought he did not have ached. Blair looked sad- maybe not to everyone else, but he saw it, and the music began, the crowd growing quiet.

_If I could take this moment forever_

_Turn the pages of my mind_

_To another place and time_

_We would never say goodbye_

Chuck thought back to when he had first seen the video of Blair singing karaoke, Serena's insistent eyes as she spoke, _you don't get it, do you? She still thinks about you all the time._ Was she thinking of him now? Trying to push his pain aside, he focused on listening to her words.

_If I could find the words I would speak them_

_Then I wouldn't be tongue-tied_

_When I looked into your eyes_

_We would never say goodbye_

She looked into his eyes, and it was all Chuck could do not to shout how sorry he was. He felt panicked; he wanted to go and stop her. When he went to move, Nate stopped him, holding him back and giving him a _what do you think you are doing_ look. It was torture having to sit there and watch this beautiful angel rend his newfound heart to pieces before him.

_If I could stop the moon ever rising_

_Day would not become the night_

_Wouldn't feel this cold inside_

_And we'd never say goodbye_

_Don't._ Chuck thought, _Don't say goodbye, don't leave me, Blair!_

_I wish that our dreams were frozen_

_Then our hearts would not be broken_

_When we let each other go..._

Did she really have dreams for them? Let each other go? No. No, he would not let her go! She was looking at him again, and he hoped she could see all the pain he was feeling. He was struggling to breathe, his chest felt so tight.

_If I could steal this moment forever_

_Paint a picture-perfect smile_

_So our story stayed alive_

_We would never say goodbye_

Chuck watched her flee the stage when the song ended and pushing Nate away, he went after her. In the hallway, he saw Blair exiting the school with Serena's arm around her. Horrified by the realization that she was truly leaving, he ran, so very un-Chuck Bass like. Bursting through the doors, he was in time to see the sleek town car pull away, as he shouted "Blair!"

Serena stood where the car had just been, and she turned to give him an icy stare, "She's gone, Chuck."

"No!" The sound escaped him, hoarse and laced with pain and disbelief.

"What? You thought she was going to stay here? Suffer the pain of being anywhere near you everyday? She said she loves you! And you told her it was a game, called her a whore, and humiliated her in front of everyone. You don't deserve her, Chuck."

He stumbled, catching himself on the brick wall. The street was a blur of gray tinged with the red of taillights. Serena's words echoed through his mind: _you don't deserve her… she's gone._

* * *

**AN: Chapter title from one of Isabelle's pretty o/s. Never Say Goodbye is performed by Hayley Westenra, on her debut album Pure.**__

**Con****tinued awesomeness to be blamed on Georgia's fantastic editing :) **_  
_


	18. Shattered Lives

Chapter Eighteen:

Shattered Lives

Blair's sleep in first class was fitful and she wondered if she would ever sleep peacefully again. Serena's presence the past few nights had been a bulwark against reliving those last moments with Chuck over and over again. But the stifling air on the plane choked in her lungs, she felt hot and dry, and saw his cold eyes burning through her as he called her _just another whore_.

She felt shaky stepping onto the ground hours later, her head ached, and she felt disconnected from her body as she moved through the terminal. Her mind was unfocused, spinning in memories of coming here with Chuck, the sweet kiss he had given her when they had landed in Paris, holding his hand… It had all been pretend, she thought, her stomach rolling; she had been a toy for his amusement. Roman found her before her eyes could focus long enough to spot him in the crowd.

"Blair." He pulled her into a hug, "Your father is in a meeting, come, let's get you to the house."

She pressed her forehead against the cool glass of the car window, listening to Roman make idle small talk as they entered Paris; he talked of the wonderful surprise of her coming to live with them, the fabulous holiday parties she could go to now that she would be here past Christmas, and the school she would attend in January. Blair knew and appreciated that he was trying to be warm and welcoming, but her body ached and all she wanted to do was sleep and never wake.

Once home, Blair pulled herself up the stairs to her room, managing only a small smile of thanks to Roman. Stepping into her room, her heart splintered and cracked, oozing fresh pain. How could she have forgotten… they had made such sweet, intimate… her mind groaned, it was not love, right? Yet she thought of that last night in this room- that had not purely been sex, either. She let out a small cry of frustration, too exhausted to fight it all; she fell into bed and passed out.

Harold brought up a small dinner tray to his daughter, peaking into her room. Roman said she had been asleep for hours, "Blair-Bear?"

Blair moaned, and the scent of food made her suddenly realize she was starving, "Papa?"

"I brought you some dinner." Setting the tray down, he turned on the light at her bedside, and sat on her bed, looking down at her.

"Thank you, Papa." She sat upright and pulled the tray into her lap, focusing on eating so she would not have to look at her father and his inevitable questions.

"Blair… you know I am more than delighted to have you stay here in Paris with Roman and I. But I love you, and I need to know you are okay."

"I'm better now that I'm here," she offered. How could she ever tell her father all that had happened?

"Blair…" Harold knew she was avoiding him.

"I always planned on studying here for awhile, Papa. Things… just happened to line up that made right now the best time to do it." It was a sound enough argument.

He chuckled a bit at his daughter's eloquent statement, "I forgot you are a lawyer's daughter for a minute," he leaned over and kissed the top of her head, "But don't think you've completely escaped me."

Her eyes were large, as she looked up at him, she whispered, "Thank you, Papa."

The next morning she had begun to breathe easier as she stretched out in her bed. Blair was free from his shadow; the entire Atlantic Ocean was between her and Chuck. Pulling herself from bed, she took a long hot shower, scrubbing New York from her body and reenergizing her spirit. Stepping back into her room to dress, she froze as her eyes fell on her bed. Chuck. She had shared that bed with Chuck. Suddenly the fact that an entire ocean was between them did not matter- he still existed in this room. As she walked down to breakfast, she contemplated a way to remove _him_ and to begin again. She kissed Harold and Roman on the cheek before sitting down to eat.

"Papa?" Blair had come up with a means to her new start, "May I redecorate my room? I thought it would be something fun Roman and I could do? Serena won't be here until the weekend and I would not dare to shop the boutiques before she arrives…"

"I suppose that's not a bad idea," Harold paused as he refilled his cup of coffee, pondering her proposal, "it is properly _your_ room now. What do you think Roman?"

"That sounds wonderful Blair! When shall we start?" Roman perked up in his chair. He always loved a good project.

After breakfast, Blair went back to her room. Standing in the doorway, she surveyed the space. She went to the bed, and picked up a pillow. Her mind wondered if it smelled like Chuck's hair? She was instantly angry with herself and her emotions bubbled over. Blair threw the pillows from the bed, and tore the sheets away; soon she was pulling everything apart. She moved her luggage- still packed, to the guest room, while she pitched every last little accent piece and item of furniture. The bed, all of it- it had to go; she had not truly realized how imbedded Chuck had become in her life. Blair wanted a fresh beginning- she needed it. She spent most of the day stripping the room bare before she would let anyone near her.

The room empty, she sat on the floor with Roman, talking about colors as he sketched her ideas. By dinnertime, she was feeling exhausted from her exertions. That night, she fell asleep thinking of a bigger closet, light fixtures, and a soft new bed. But her subconscious twisted her attempt to escape him, and she dreamt of him pressing her into the bed as he slid between her legs. She woke up feeling hot, and a tear slipped down her cheek: _whore… just another whore._

The closet was expanded and redone on Wednesday, while Blair and Roman were out buying a new bed and furniture. No expense or detail was spared; her new bed was sumptuous, and she chose dark woods to vibrate against the deep red wallpaper etched with silver and black she had selected. The next day the wallpaper went up, and they shopped for smaller touches; ornate antique picture frames and door handles, luxurious bedding, and cut crystal sconces and a chandelier.

Friday the room at last came together; the furniture delivered and put in place, new bedding, freshly laundered, the bed made. Seeing the space come together at last, Blair felt stronger and revitalized. This was not the room of a girl, an innocent, all white and soft. It had become a mature place, a woman's room, rich and luxurious. She busied herself the rest of the day making things just so as she moved them from the guest room to her new room. Books and mementos found their new homes, and she rigorously went through her wardrobe. Only so many pieces would be given a place in her new closet. Everything that had been tainted with Chuck she could not bear to look at it. Yet, her heart would not let her discard it completely; instead she packed them away and shipped them back to New York.

She finished her work just before dinner, standing in the large closet; it seemed too large given her newly diminished collection. The space was hollow, shelves were bare and lonely, and Blair could not help but wonder_, not unlike my life_? After dinner, she unveiled her new room to her fathers. Harold commended the work she and Roman had done, hugging her and kissing her on the top of her head. Blair showed him all they had done, as he admired the many tiny details; an antique lamp, the embroidery on her duvet, the fine elaborate handles on her desk. Harold hugged her tight, kissing the top of her head once more before he departed to prepare the nightcap they would take in the library.

Roman stayed with Blair, smiling, as he looked over the room, happy with the result of their hard work. He spoke as they sat on her new bed, "I am so glad you let me help you with your room. You trusted me to help you, and I appreciate that. I hope you can see that you can trust me with other things? If you need anything, I'm here for you."

Blair smiled softly, "Thank you, Roman. In time maybe…" She thought of the single picture she had kept of her and Chuck, tucked in the drawer of her nightstand. It was the one of them smiling as they made the pie for Thanksgiving together. The memory of so much happiness welled up inside her chest and she fought to hold herself together. She leaned over and hugged Roman, seeking some comfort, "Thank you," she said again, thankful for the safety of this house, and the support of both Harold and Roman. Blair took a deep breath and pulled away, feeling steadier.

"We should probably join Papa now? It's cruel to keep his two favorite people from him so long." Blair managed to smile a little as Roman chuckled.

"Too true!" He replied as they went to join Harold in the library for the evening nightcap.

* * *

Returning to his suite, Chuck was on his phone in mid-conversation as he pulled out his favorite carafe of scotch, "I need to know where she is, what she's doing."

It is what Bass men did: sending private investigators after the people in their lives. Blair could run, but that did not mean he would let her go. He took the carafe into his room with him, drinking until he passed out. Thoughts of her pressed on him, to the point that his body ached and in his drunken stupor he had to jerk off to the memory of her lips, the curve of her body, the heat of her wrapped around him. It hurt inside, and her name was a low growl in the back of his throat when he came. Pain enveloped him and he passed out once more.

Chuck's existence for the first several days comprised of nothing but drugs and alcohol. Sometimes Nate came and smoked with him, but time passed in a drunken, drug induced haze. At the end of the week, Nate had come to visit once more. Chuck was too far-gone to notice his companion was not smoking as much as he normally would.

Nate was worried, drugs and boozing in such a depressed state was something he had never seen Chuck do before; he was not being wild, or out of control, it did not have Chuck's usual 'fuck you' sentiment. Chuck was morose and bitter, and Nate was pretty certain he had not been out of the room since… well, since the day Blair had left.

"What do you say we go out? It's Saturday night." Nate hoped getting Chuck out might help his mood.

"Why would I leave when I have everything I need right here?" Chuck waved his arm through the cloud of smoke; gesturing to the mess of drugs on the table, empty glasses and bottles strewn around the room.

Nate was now even more convinced Chuck needed to get out this room, "Come on, you could use some fresh air. Clear your head?"

Chuck grumbled; he had been trying to clear his head all week. Yet, how was he supposed to get away from thoughts of Blair, when he had been lying in a bed that still smelled like her?

Nate sat up from his reclined position on the sofa, "Well, if you want to rot in this room, that's up to you. But I'm going out to have a good time."

Rotting… like the tattered, undeveloped heart in his chest. Fuck, he was not going to let a girl do this to him, "All right Nathaniel, just let me go freshen up."

He changed his clothes, fixed his hair, but gazing in the mirror- seeing his gaunt face staring back at him made him disgusted. _Pathetic._ Chuck inhaled several lines of coke before reappearing before Nate and at last, after nearly a week, departing his room.

A few shots in, Nate attempted to try and find out where Chuck's head was concerning Blair, "So… it's been a week, what are you going to do about Blair?"

However, Chuck dismissed his friends concern, having spotted a pretty little prostitute at the bar, "Why concern myself with the past, Nathaniel, when there are much more interesting prospects in my future?"

Sliding from his seat, he sauntered off to approach the scantily clad girl. It had clearly been too long since he had properly enjoyed the female form and this was exactly what he needed to feel like himself again.

Nate turned and watched his friend go, shaking his head, not quite sure what to do next- after all, this was Chuck Bass. He watched as the girl turned toward Chuck, and furrowed his brow, disconcerted by how much she resembled Blair.

Chuck had locked eyes with her, playboy smile in place as he slid into the seat next to her, "Hello."

"Hi," the tiny brunette fluttered her lashes as she sipped from her martini glass.

"You are quite lovely…" Chuck watched her blush behind her glass, "How much an hour for enjoying your company?"

The girl titled her head, "Excuse me?"

"I'm wondering what it would cost to have you in my bed all night?"

It was at this very moment that an overly developed alpha male appeared behind the girl, "What did you just say to my girlfriend?"

Chuck tried not to laugh, "Girlfriend? You let your girl leave the house looking like a whore?"

The next several moments were a blur; as the brute's fist smashed into Chuck's face, there was only one thing echoing through his mind: _Whore… you're just another virgin I've turned into a whore._ He was unconscious by the time Nate had rushed into the fray.

The next thing Chuck was cognizant of was the cold cement floor beneath him and Nate's hard gaze when he painfully opened his eyes. He slowly sat up, his head spinning; he leaned back against the wall, groaning, "What happened?" he asked.

"Um, you got into a bar fight after mistaking a girl for a prostitute, insulting her to her very muscular boyfriend's face, who then got a few good hits in before we could pull him off you." Nate spoke without inflection or a glimmer of sympathy on his face, "And yes, we're in jail now, thank you."

"Shit, I'm sorry," Chuck pressed his fingers against the puffy tissue around his eyes, feeling it bite and sting.

"Yeah, well at least now you can't hide from me, or run off. I'm in jail because I was just trying to help you. All of this is about Blair, isn't it?" Nate huffed as he stared at his friend.

Chuck grumbled, "I don't want to talk about it… or _her_." Just the sound of her name in his ears caused images of Blair to invade his mind.

"Too bad, you're stuck in here with me, and I can tell something is going on with you. Damnit Chuck, the girl at the bar even looked like her…" Nate was clear and insistent.

"She wouldn't talk to me." Chuck mumbled, his eyes shifted from Nate's face to stare at the adjacent wall, recalling how he pounded on Blair's door.

"On Sunday? What happened?" Nate had wondered about the details, but Chuck would not say.

"I looked for her all day, and when I caught her at home that night," Chuck paused, reliving the desperation he felt.

Nate gently urged him on, "Then…?"

"She wouldn't see me... she sent Serena to throw me out; I just wanted to talk to her…"

"You honestly thought she would sit down and talk to you after what you did?" Nate was disappointed that Chuck hadn't tried any apologetic gestures, or just… anything to soften what he had done so she _might_ talk to him.

"What I did? What about you? You kept mocking me! You can't deny you wanted me to break it off with her.'" Chuck sneered.

"You acted so casually whenever we talked about Blair, how was I supposed to know, man? And no matter what I did or said, what happened at the ball was _you_. You rejected her, you tore her down, _you_ called her a whore." Nate tried not to flinch at the memory of watching Chuck rip her apart.

There was a bitter taste in Chuck's mouth as he listened to Nate. But their conversation was cut short by the bailiff, "Bass, Archibald, your bail has been paid."

And from the shadow of the bailiff appeared none other than Bart Bass himself, "If you don't mind Nathaniel, I'd like a word with my son?"

The cell door rolled open and Nate gave Chuck a nervous glance as he left, thanking Bart for getting him out. Bart's blue eyes were glacial as he looked at his bruised and bloodied son, "I return from Frankfurt tonight, to _this_," he paused watching Chuck drop his head, "What the hell happened, Charles? You were doing so well for once."

It stung; it all stung so much. Doing well? He meant Blair's attempt to mold him had been going well. But she was not making him better- she was making him weaker, and now… his constant ability to fail his father, the look of disappointment in those cold blue eyes inflamed him and he shouted it out loud, "I fucked up- again! Big surprise, right?"

"Charles…" Bart growled.

"I was given one more thing I didn't deserve and I broke it! After all, I'm Chuck Bass." His laugh was hoarse as hot air clogged his lungs and the words burned in his mouth.

Bart could see the way his son was slumped over and the sound in his voice that something deeper was tearing at his son this time. He furrowed his brow, wondering what Chuck was referring to, "What are you going on about? What did you break that you didn't deserve?"

"Her…" Chuck's voice was strained with the pain of thinking of Blair.

"A girl?" Bart was taken back that a girl could upset his son this much, until he remembered the girl from last weekend, "Oh… the Waldorf girl?"

"Don't… just…" The cell had begun to feel suffocating, and Chuck tried to get up. The room spun, and he sat back down on the hard floor.

Bart sighed and knelt down, pulling his son up from the ground, "Let's get you back to the hotel."

Bart felt for his son deep inside. Looking at Chuck reminded him of the wife he had lost, and he hoped that what Chuck was feeling now was nothing more than growing pains.

Chuck awoke the next morning, more sober than he had been in a week. The reflection in the mirror was gruesome, his lip was split, his left eye a puffy mess of black, purple, and yellow. The sight melded with the weight of last night; the girl at the bar, Nate, his father. He had to run, this city was too crowded.

* * *

Blair sat on her bed the Saturday morning, brushing her long hair, trying to soothe her disquiet. She stared out through the balcony doors, the Paris skyline still so alien. She sighed heavily as her thoughts inevitably turned to Chuck. Almost instantly a sob wracked in her chest, she dropped the brush and fell into her pillows to cry for the second time that day.

She did not hear the soft knock on her door, "Blair?"

Roman's heart ached when he saw Blair, and went to her, sitting down on the bed. He began stroking her hair, "Blair, please, tell me what is going on?"

Turning her head, she sniffed as she willed herself to stop crying, "It's too awful to say."

"Well, I could always venture a guess? The French can be very insightful when it comes to matters of the heart," He paused, hoping to make her laugh, or rebuke him, but her brown eyes were hollow as she looked up at him from her pillow, "Does it have to do with Chuck?"

Suddenly, Blair sat up and hugged him. He wrapped his arms around her, hugging her back. He heard her whisper, "I fell in love."

"But Blair… that's wonderful."

Blair pulled away and stared up at him, "No, it's not. Not with…_ him_." She turned away as the tears began to threaten to break free once more. How could she have been so silly? To fall in love with a playboy like Chuck Bass? But she did. She said it to him, wrapped up in the beauty of the moment, but it had not been a mistake or a lie. Her hand was balled up in a fist, the tips of her fingers digging into her palm; letting the pain distract her from reliving her memories.

Roman picked up her discarded brush, and began pulling it through her long hair, "It is still wonderful. Love is what makes life worth living. But sometimes… a lot of times, you love someone before they are able to love themselves. Give it time, Blair. After all, now you are here, in Paris! A world of possibilities await, and then maybe- just maybe, Chuck will discover that he misses how fabulous you are?"

Would he miss her? Did she really care if he did? Blair thought back to when she had looked into his eyes while she had been singing. Chuck had looked sad and hurt. Yet in the skip of a heartbeat, she went from wishing he were not suffering to thinking it only served him right. What he had done at the ball… he did not have to do it that way, so publicly, or so cruelly. But then her memory slipped back, to that last kiss, his arms holding her so tight, his lips so warm and gentle as they pressed against hers. Even if… _if_ he magically appeared at her door and said he loved her, how could she go back to him after… _that_?

Blair sighed as Roman continued to brush her hair. _The future_, she thought, _the future is what I have. I will be strong and amazing, and if our paths should cross again, he will suffer knowing what he lost._

"Roman," Blair broke the silence, "Tell me about my new school again?"

* * *

Not an hour later, Blair was whirling down the stairs, and into the arms of her bubbly blonde best friend. The best Christmas present!

"B! We're in Paris! Where do we go shopping first?"

"That didn't take you long!" Blair managed to grab her coat, shaking her head, as Serena pulled her back out the door.

The girls left holding only their handbags, walking arm in arm, but returned a few hours later in a taxi, unable to carry all of their latest finds. Blair was happy to have Serena's company, for the obvious reasons, but especially in purchasing new lingerie. Chuck had given much of what she owned; she was surprised she had even a single pair to wear after she purged her wardrobe. Yet the few pieces she was left with were dissatisfying remnants of the girl she was before Chuck; dull, plain, utilitarian looking garments that she could not wait to discard. Now she bought bras, corsets, panties, garter belts, and stockings of her _own_ choosing; some were demur and sweet, while others were bold and brazen, however all were clearly items befitting a confident woman.

They spent their week together shopping, visiting the museums, ice skating, and simply enjoying Paris together. Serena and Blair were making new, happy memories where before Blair had the painful, sweet memories of her time with Chuck. She knew sometimes the sadness slipped and showed on her face. But she fought to be happy and she genuinely was having a wonderful time with her best friend.

Serena watched Blair closely, always concerned how her best friend was recovering. There were never any tears, but there was a sadness she saw in those brown eyes. Yet their time was immensely full of happiness and laughter. It surprised Serena a little to see Blair so strong. She suspected her outward appearance belied what Blair was thinking or feeling at times, however she dare not risk mentioning Chuck.

All the fun and activity made the days pass quickly, and before they knew it, it was Christmas! The morning passed in a sea of gifts, the afternoon in a snowball fight, and the evening in a long dinner. Hot chocolate was taken in the library where everyone relaxed, their tummies full. Serena and Blair lay on the rug before the fireplace, staring into the flames as they reminisced.

"Do you remember that Christmas when you refused to wear boots outside, and you ruined your new Mary Jane's in eight inches of snow? The pout on your face was priceless!" Serena giggled.

"It's not half as bad as the year you rudely reached across the tables for the mashed potatoes at dinner! When you singed your hair in the candles it was simply karma. Was it three inches or four that Lily made you have cut off?" Blair chuckled as she watched Serena pout and stroke her long blonde hair.

Blair then sighed as she looked down into her large mug of hot chocolate, "I really thought…" But she halted, realizing what she was about to admit aloud.

Serena saw the look on her face, and reached out to touch Blair's arm, "You thought what?" she asked quietly.

"I thought he would be here…" Blair bit her lower lip hard in retribution for saying it- for even thinking it. She had imagined in the weeks before, that it could be like Thanksgiving. They would be together and it would be so wonderful. She would have stressed over finding the perfect Christmas gift for him and be terribly nervous about what he might give her. They could kiss atop the Eiffel Tower again and secretly meet at night in her room. _Make me yours, Chuck…_

She felt the sudden urge to throw the mug of hot chocolate into the fireplace in rage. But she did not. She seethed a moment, and tried to push past it.

Serena stroked Blair's long chocolate curls, "It's okay, B. You can talk to me about Chuck…"

"I don't want to talk about him!" Blair bit out, "I just want to move forward. I want the pain to end."

"Oh, B…" Serena quietly continued to stroke her hair, "I was out with mom before my visit, and we ran into Nate Archibald."

Blair finally looked up from her hot chocolate, brows furrowed at what Serena was going to say next.

"I was polite, but in his undoubtedly pot smoke addled state, he did let is slip that Chuck had not left his suite since the day you left."

"Why would he?" Blair scoffed, "I'm sure he had anything he needed sent up to him."

"But…" Serena forgot to bite her tongue, as her thoughts wandered, imagining how she might feel if someone she cared about professed their love, "Do you think if he really truly meant what he said… what happened, this is what he would be doing? Holing up in his room for a week?"

"Well, he's not here, he hasn't written, or called or… anything. So I don't care if he's hiding in his suite at the Palace!" Blair abruptly stood up, "If that is all, I'm going to bed now."

"B…" Serena pleaded, but Blair tromped off to her room without glancing back even once.

Blair could not decide if she was mad at Serena for talking about Chuck or how she was feeling from hearing news of him. She did not want to be happy that he had trapped himself in his room, away from the world. That he was not out flaunting that he is a playboy; that what he said was true, she was just a game, and now he could return to chasing girls. She did not want to care about him at all! Yet, if she allowed herself to feel it… there was something small fluttering in her heart.

It was the day after Christmas that Serena was to leave, and they sat on the bed together when Blair went to her vanity, "S, I need to give you something."

"Anything," She watched as Blair pulled a drawer open, and when she turned around, she held the box from Cartier's, "B… no."

"We haven't really talked about it, which makes me so happy. I wanted to spend my time _with_ you, not talking about… Chuck. But I need you to keep this for me. I just can't… have it here; it hurts too much. When I was packing the last of my things, part of me would not let me leave it behind. I wanted to have a little of him near me…" Blair's heart ached at those words, "But now… I have to move forward."

Serena stood and looking into Blair's pleading eyes, she pulled the box from her hands, "I understand, B," and they hugged, "So… are you sure you won't go to Barcelona with me?"

* * *

Chuck wandered through Europe, avoiding France as though it were the plague, but sleeping and drinking his way across the rest of the continent. The incident at the bar made him realize how long he had abstained from enjoying the company of women. And he hoped, irrationally, that the more women he had, the less he would remember Blair. But the intensity of his debauchery increased after the first PI report arrived. The picture of Blair and Serena ice-skating together outside… the smile on Blair's face he thought would kill him. He never forgot that she was beautiful, but having to look at her made his chest feel tight and ache. Running his finger along the line of her face, he felt a deep desire to be the one in the photo, holding her hand, smiling with her, and making her laugh. He glanced down at the date on the report and it made him realize; it was exactly one month since he had been in Paris with Blair. Since he had that warmth and happiness. Warmth… suddenly Christmas in the Alps was less appealing and he found himself traveling towards Barcelona, and the warm Spanish sun.

Leaning back in a corner booth, he took in the landscape of the club through the haze of smoke. The Latin beat had seduced most of the crowd to their feet, bodies writhing against one another. _Blair in that black dress at her birthday, hard against him, the bead of sweat slipping along the curve of her breast_; the memory forced him to drink another shot. He saw a familiar looking blonde figure climb atop a table and begin dancing. He laughed and thought perhaps he had too much to drink?

No- it was Serena van der Woodsen. He leaned forward against the table. But she was in Paris… with…

Serena knelt down and helped a pretty little brunette up to dance on the table with her. From the back, he swore… his heart stopped. _Blair._ Wobbling slightly, he stood, pushing and bumping his way through the crowd. To see her… to touch her, the temptation was overwhelming and it was all he wanted. The world moved in slow motion as he reached out and grabbed her arm, pulling her down from the table and into his arms.

"Why, if it isn't Chuck Bass!" Georgina squealed and batted her thick lashes up at him.

Chuck dropped his arms and stepped back. He felt ill and his head spun. What had he just done?

Serena laughed as she crawled down from the table, "You saw me with a brunette and thought it must be Blair, didn't you?"

She watched as the great Chuck Bass flushed red with embarrassment before her very eyes. Serena laughed even harder at his silent admission, "You are such a fucking piece of work."

Nodding her head at Georgina, Serena threw her arm around Chuck dragging him to the bar. After a few stiff shots of tequila, she told him what she knew he would never ask for, "She's doing no better than you are inside. Though I think she's trying a bit harder to be genuinely happy again."

"So what would love guru van der Woodsen advise?" Chuck grumbled as he took another shot.

"Any run of the mill asshole knows to apologize, Chuck. It would be a place to start, at least." Serena quirked her eyebrow at him, "You broke my best friend's heart and ran her out of town. The only reason I am even talking to you is because I see it in your eyes."

At that, she gazed into his eyes and fear bit through him at what all Serena might just see there. He swallowed hard and broke away from her penetrating stare.

Shaking her head, Serena stood, "It's not like you don't know where to find her."

When Chuck returned to his hotel that night, the concierge stopped him at the front desk, "Mr. Bass. This arrived while you were out."

The gentleman proffered a box marked fragile in several languages. Chuck inhaled deeply as he reached out to receive the package. It was another sign of what he needed to do next.

* * *

After Serena left, Blair found herself restless without her friend. In spite of the cold, she ventured out into the city, alone. She sighed at the realization that inside it still hurt. Time had moved her away from the tragedy of that night; the physical and emotional purge and the time with Serena had all helped her to heal more with each day. Now she wondered what she was going to do with her life? She had left so much behind in New York for the sake of getting away from… _him._

Blair's existence felt like a blank canvas as she observed the variety of women move through the streets of Paris. There was something different about French women; strength mixed with grace… a self-assuredness that Blair had never felt in her own skin. It exuded from their very being, in how they took care in their dress, how they moved, in their every look. Consideration, a strength in who they are; Blair's mind turned these observations over and over as she walked.

Who was Blair Waldorf now? The prospect of a new school… she was tired with the thought of starting over, trying to find a place, and loathing the thought of being 'the American.' She remembered Constance; she never felt alone at Constance, even her walk to school. _Oh, Chuck… _Her hand tingled with the memory of his warm hand grasping hers as they walked to school together. With an annoyed sigh, she shoved the thought away, determined not to think on him.

Her eyes caught on a flowing red scarf, and her feet slowed, and then came to a stand still. A sweet couple, smiling, giggling… he was pulling apart a croissant and feeding it to her. Blair's eyes grew hot with tears, her lower lip trembled, _Pathetic! _Her mind screamed at her, _Weak! I lost… I lost! _She took a shuddering breath and tried to calm her anger and pain, cool logic sliding into her thoughts: _I lost… because I wasn't strong enough._

* * *

It was late afternoon, and small white flakes drifted through the air before colliding with cruel metal or asphalt and blinking out of existence. Blair wrapped the heavy red wool coat around her as the wind pulled lightly at her hair and ruffled the fluted skirt of the coat. That first walk had developed into a regular outing; this was the quiet time she allowed herself to think about Chuck. Blair refused to let the remainder of her vacation be consumed with thoughts and feelings about him. So she made this little spot in the day to own up to her feelings and think of Chuck, and their time together. She walked past the Trocadero, on towards Pont D'Iena, the Eiffel Tower rising before her. The irony of her chosen path was not lost on her- that they had walked this way together, and she took comfort in the masochistic nature of it.

Tucking her head down against the wind, Blair watched the movement of her patent leather pumps as she walked. A pair of men's Bottega's impeded her way, and she drew her head up to gaze upon the intruder. Her eyes grew wide and her heart protested in her chest. She could not look at his face; the memory of his stare hurt enough without having to see it.

Chuck had found her.

He had watched her progression across the bridge, his heart beating harder and harder with each passing moment. It took every ounce of his control to not reach out and wrap his arms around her, to hold her close. Instead, he inhaled a shaky breath.

"Blair… please…" He reached out to lift her chin, to force her eyes to look into his.

"Don't touch me!" Her nostrils flared, her eyes vibrant as her gaze finally met his.

"You don't get to touch me anymore." She trembled, and it was not from the cold.

"Please…" His eyes were sad as he watched her reject him.

"What do you want, Chuck?"

"You." It was that simple, and he did not need to say anything more.

Blair laughed, disillusioned with his words. It stabbed at her heart and she just… she could not do this. "You don't have that option Chuck."

She moved to walk past him, and he grabbed her arm. It ached to be so near her, and he needed more, he had to keep her talking. So he pushed, taunting her in order to make her stay, "Don't you have a Christmas gift for me? I'll forgive that it's late... just for you."

Blair whirled towards him as he spoke, her eyes bright when she replied bitterly, "Nothing that you would want."

He smirked at her reply, satisfied; she had stayed and was looking at him. He had somehow pushed from his mind how intoxicating it was being around her and suddenly his head was leaning down to take a kiss from her lips. He felt her sharp intake of breath as his lips met hers, and after a delicious moment, she sobbed and pushed away from him.

"No!" Her eyes were full of fury as she stared at him.

Chuck was growing frustrated now, "You want me. You always have!"

"That doesn't matter!" She bit back, "And what about you? Did you decide just yesterday you wanted me?" Blair fumed.

"Hardly!" He shouted, "What I want is for you to come back to New York with me!"

"There is nothing for me in New York! You made sure of that at the Snowflake Ball."

He saw her eyes soften a little from the pain of the memory, "Come back with me," he whispered.

"No!" Blair cried, "Why would I go back with you? You haven't said anything to even try to entice me to come with you."

"Because you belong with me!" He growled at her and grabbed her arm.

Blair turned into him, her eyes hotly meeting his; he had pushed her too far. "Then say it," she seethed.

"You're dreaming." He said, the fire in his eyes cooled and he spoke without inflection.

"Am I? What did you think would happen showing up here like this? Maybe you're the one who should let you go of _your_ fantasies?" Blair gave him a mean smile, speaking with sugary sweetness.

He let go of her as though she had burned him. He sneered, "Fine. Is that it, or were you going to tell me you love me again?"

Blair was consumed with all the raw emotion that she had been trying to calm over the past weeks. Her hand flew up and smacked him hard across the face with a thunderous clap. "I will never say those words to you again."

With that, Blair left Chuck stunned on the Pont D'Iena as her patent leather pumps stormed back towards her home in the 16th Arrondissment.

Chuck stood there, his eyes burning as he watched the red coat move away and disappear into the distance. _You will, some day, _he swore to himself, his heart pounding as it ached in his chest.

* * *

Later that night, Chuck lay in his bed staring at the ceiling. That was not how he had hoped seeing Blair would have gone. Not just that she was not here in his bed with him right now, but how it had felt to be near her. To not be able to touch her, to have her not care about him; her slap had not left a mark on his face, but he had felt it down to his very core. It seemed that Nate was right; he had torn her apart and broken them. He really had hoped she would come home to New York. He had hoped to apologize! But instead she fought him. When she swore she would never say… those words to him ever again, he had wanted to hurt her, but in the end it only hurt him more. When had it happened? When had he come to desire her to feel that way for him? He groaned and rolled over in bed.

His eyes fell on the box he had hoped to give her; a belated Christmas gift. He intended it to be a peace offering, but she would not want it now, not after what had happened on the bridge. Yet, he felt compelled to give it to her, that she must have it- she needed to know that it had all meant something to him.

He pulled himself up from the bed and reached for a notecard. What would he say to her? How could he apologize for what had happened, or explain that what was the worst night of her life, he now looked back on so fondly until those last few minutes? How beautiful she had been, how perfect she felt in his arms, and when she whispered that she loved him… What had then been revolting now made his heart race. He may have ruined it, but the memories he had of her were full of happiness, and this last moment of them together was the happiest of all.

He stared at the blank page as time ticked away. He thought back on all their times together: at school, the park, her birthday, Thanksgiving, how he had felt a part of something that morning, making the pie with her, her smiling face, the sound of her laughter… and that's when it came to him, the perfect words that would bleed his feelings onto the page. Her rejection weighted heavily on him and he could not help but pull the gift from its box. His note completed, he lay down once more, staring at his gift until his eyes closed and he fell into the deep blackness of sleep.

The next morning, Chuck pled his case to Roman, knowing Blair would not see him, and that Harold would have no sympathy towards him. Roman gave him a sad smile as he opened the front door. Walking through the house felt like small razors slipping over his skin. There was so much happiness he had here once, with her. Pushing her bedroom door open, his heart stopped. She had obliterated the room they had shared; no longer was this space sweet and bright but powerful and dark. His whole being felt heavy as he forced himself to walked to her bed, setting the gift upon it. Chuck ran his hand over the peacock blue duvet, wishing to mar this new space with just a little of him. His eyes drifted to her nightstand, falling on an overturned picture. Walking to it he lifted it, curious to see what it was. Them. Thanksgiving morning. It was too much, and his breath choked in his lungs. He dropped the photo, fleeing from her room, her home, from the damage he had done.

* * *

Pushing her bedroom door open, Blair paused instantly when her eyes fell on a beautiful square package sinking into her thick blue duvet. Pain shot through her heart and the image of all the boxes he had left her flashed before her eyes, for who else ever left her gifts on her bed? Her breath shuddered as she stepped towards the bed, her legs easily giving way to sit down. The box was deep green wrapped in a pretty gold and pink bow that she gently stoked, gathering the strength to open the package.

Fingers trembling she tugged the ribbon apart and pulled the box open, slipping her hands inside, she felt the surface of smooth round glass. Lifting the globe free, her eyes appraised its contents. Two small figures, that despite their diminutive size bore a strong resemblance to her and Chuck the night of the ball; her dress, her hair, even his little pink bow tie. A purple-blue translucent sky had been painted in the back half of the orb. She was fighting hard not to cry, and she questioned her strength as she wound the key to play the music box within. The music they had danced to poured forth, and the miniature Chuck and Blair began dancing together. She clutched it to her chest as a sob racked her body. How cruel was he? To memorialize the night she gave him her heart and he shattered it without hesitation.

She cried awhile- longer than she had in weeks. When calm once more she sat the globe on her nightstand her heart still aching. Picking up the ribbon and the box she realized she had overlooked his note. Wanting the pain to end she tore the little envelope open.

_Happiness is something that should be remembered, and cherished._

What she would give to forget what he had ruined.

* * *

**AN: Title from a fun C/B/N triangle by thebelleoftheball!**

**Giant hugs and thank yous to Georgia, Elli, and Alyssa, you girls are so important to me- and this story!  
**

**I dedicate this chapter to the fantastic little coterie that has sustained me these past months. Either through PMs, forums, or Google Chat, you all saved me and helped me get back to a place where I could write again. **


	19. Phantom Needs

Chapter Nineteen:

Phantom Needs

Harold walked into Blair's room as she was sitting at the vanity, fidgeting and perfecting her hair. "Oh, my little girl is so grown up… You look so beautiful!" He gushed.

"Papa…" She gave him a sweet smile as she stood and smoothed out her gown, "I am hardly grown up. Are you sure there will be anyone for me to talk to, aside from all of your colleagues? I am only sixteen."

"And smarter than most of the stuffed shirts there. I promise there will still be young people!" He offered his arm to his daughter, "Anyway, no one would guess you are only sixteen tonight."

Blair's smile faltered for only a moment as she took her fathers arm. _Chuck, in this room… you certainly do not look sixteen tonight._ "Let's not keep Roman waiting."

Downstairs, Roman was all smiles, "Oh, Blair, the dress is more stunning than even I could have imagined. You look as though you walked right out of Funny Face!"

This made Blair smile, "I'm not sure how Dior would feel at being compared to the House of Givenchy, Roman!"

Blair fixed a fuzzy white fur pillbox hat atop her coiffure, as Roman placed a matching wrap over her shoulders. She then tucked her hands inside a white fur muff and the three stepped out to meet the waiting town car.

Though in the past weeks the beauty of Paris had become more and more familiar to Blair, on this night the city was particularly bright and stunning. Beautiful soft white lights shone from every tree and building, and the Eiffel Tower was golden and twinkling. The sidewalks were filled with friends hugging, people shouting, and everyone was full of happiness. For the briefest moment, she thought of Chuck, but the overwhelming beauty of the night helped to push him into the corner of her mind.

* * *

Chuck had decided to stay in Paris for New Year's. Or, perhaps, not so much decided, but rather he was too inebriated to do otherwise. The sounds of revelers outside led him to leave the dark comfort of his hotel room. He found the lights almost blinding through the haze of alcohol. He stalked through the streets, annoyed with all the happy people, and consumed with memories of walking these streets with Blair. Maybe she was home? He wanted to feel happy again… seeing her would make him feel happy…

As though a magnet pulled him, he was walking down her street. A town car sat, waiting in front of her house. But before he could cross the street, before he could get close enough, the front door opened. Chuck froze, unable to move once his eyes fell on her. Blair's face was radiant as she laughed at something Roman had said. He saw the puff of white fur resting atop her upswept hair. He smiled at how she could be stunning, yet cute at the same time. He imagined running his hand over the soft fur and then through silkiness of her hair slipping between his fingers…

During his reverie, Blair slipped into the town car. Chuck snapped back to attention when she left his sight. The town car pulled away and moved past him; he was alone. He had no way of knowing where she had gone and he became even more morose. Wandering some more, the cold began to bite through his wool coat, and he sought warmth and comfort in a crowded club. The noise crowded out his thoughts and he distracted himself with booze and women, finally forcing Blair from his mind.

* * *

In what felt like the blink of an eye, Blair found herself in a noisy congested mansion, being introduced to a myriad of faces, all very happy to meet her. Time slipped by quickly in such a crowded place, but it began to feel hot and claustrophobic. Blair eventually maneuvered an escape to the ladies room, where she was able to close her eyes and breathe for a moment. Returning to the main room was less than appealing, and Blair wandered down the hallway, away from the party.

She opened the small black-feathered fan that had been hanging from her wrist, slowly fanning herself as she investigated the opulent hallway. Peaking her head into an open doorway, Blair smiled and stepped inside. The room was a large greenhouse with lush plants, and through the glass you could see the tower nearby, shining. It felt so open compared to the party, and she breathed deeply as she walked towards a small alcove containing a bench.

Sitting down, she sat back, simply taking in all the beauty the view afforded. Paris looked stunning, but whether she was in the crowded ballroom or here in this space, she longed to have a friend to share it all with.

A rather elegant gentleman suddenly stepped into the green house. Blair tilted her head, watching as a look of relief washed over his face. He turned towards the alcove and was startled to discover her sitting there.

"Forgive me for intruding." He spoke in English with a French accent, as he made a slight bow of apology to her.

Blair offered him a friendly smile, "No, please, do not leave on my account."

He stepped towards her, and attempted to return her friendly gesture, "I see I am not alone in finding the main room of the party too crowded."

"It is absolutely dizzying the amount of people in that room. I do not think I shall remember a single person I meet tonight." Blair replied, watching as he smiled at her. She subconsciously reached for Chuck's necklace, startled to find it was not there and then horrified to realize what she had been grasping for.

He stepped closer and made a slight bow towards her, "I am Louis. I hope you will not forget my name… Ms…?"

As he moved closer to her, Blair panicked at the realization she was alone with a man; that even after Chuck, she did not know the first thing about flirting- or what it even looked like. Would this Louis try and flirt with her? How would she know? Her stomach rolled a little in trepidation, but she fought her anxiety, channeling her best Audrey Hepburn.

She offered her hand to him, and the small chain of loose diamonds twinkled, slipping down her wrist, "Blair."

He lightly took her hand, his lips sweeping over her skin, the whisper of a kiss. Blair wondered… she waited, to feel the jump and excitement she would have felt at such attention from Chuck. It did not come.

Pulling her hand back, she gestured towards the bench, "Would you like to sit?"

Louis sat at the opposite end away from her, inquiring, "What brings you to Paris for New Year's?"

"I live here now, with my father. I will begin at lycée next week." Blair fidgeted a little with her fan, realizing how close school was.

"Where did you move from? Do you miss it?" Louis continued, intrigued that such a lady would still be only in high school.

"New York City." For a moment she pictured Serena having a wild party in her penthouse, "And yes, I miss it."

"New York?" Louis was slightly taken back, "But you are so refined, and elegant! New Yorkers are famed to be rough and loud, are they not?"

"Though an island, it has a great variety of people. Clearly, I am not from that part of New York." Blair was surprised he was not aware of the great diversity to be found in New York, "Do you not travel much, sir?""

"Louis. Very little I'm afraid, and I have never been to America. Perhaps I will find a reason to visit soon?"

"Is a desire to travel not enough?" Blair flushed from his interest in her, before changing the topic, "Do you always hide at parties?"

"Usually I cannot manage to escape, but this time I am quite glad to have found such a lovely reprieve." He smiled at her, "Am I a suitable distraction from the other party-goers?"

"Tolerable, I suppose…" she laughed a little, "At least you are not so superficial? Every time I was discovered to be Harold Waldorf's daughter, suddenly it was as though I had not earned my invitation to such a lavish party." Blair smoothed her dress to distract from recalling her annoyance.

"Yes…" Louis sighed a little in sympathy, "People can be quite false, and especially at these events." He paused, studying her a moment, "But what a sad subject this is! Tell me Blair Waldorf, what will you be when you are all grown up, attending these fancy parties?"

"Me?" Blair tilted her head as she pondered his question.

Louis smiled as he watched her, leaning in with anticipation, "Will you be one of those terribly educated housewives? Or…?"

Blair's pulled face at that proposition, disliking the idea immensely. "Oh, please no! Let me do something more useful than babies and keeping house. Maybe I will be a lawyer like Papa? Or take over my mother's company? What about the next Madeline Albright? Only without the bird pins please… more like, Madeline Albright and Princess Diana. That would be quite wonderful!"

Louis watched the expression on her face grow from distaste to blissful excitement. Such an experiment in possibilities had never been an option for him.

"Though…" Blair continued her thought, growing quieter, "I could just become a sour old intellect, teaching at university and writing research papers. Alone, lost in a pile of books…" She was whispering now, "Alone…"

"Or alone in a room full of people…" Louis was pulled into her feeling of loneliness, his own sadness resonating with hers. It was like watching a beautiful flower be crushed, he thought.

Midnight struck and the city was shouting, as fireworks filled the night sky. Blair and Louis looked up at the display, both wondering what this New Year might bring.

Suddenly, there was a gentleman standing in the doorway and he nodded towards them. Louis stood and took her hand, kissing it once more before departing. There was a little smile on his face, and his brown eyes twinkled a little. "Bonne année, Blair Waldorf."

She watched him leave, and then stared up as the fireworks continued over Paris. What _would_ this year bring?

* * *

Chuck adjusted his bowtie in the mirror. He had only been home from Paris for a few days, but he still felt the sting of Blair's slap across his face. His massive failure hung on him, and now he was going to have to have dinner with-

"Hurry up, Chuck. I don't want to be late to Lily's." Bart stood in the doorway of Chuck's room.

Bart was on the phone for the entire limo ride to Sutton Place. Chuck spent the time thinking of how he could speak as little as possible during dinner. In the elevator, Bart's only comment to him was that he should try and behave himself.

"Bart!" Lily greeted them, walking towards them with open arms. She was her ever-radiant self as she hugged Bart and kissed him on both cheeks.

"Lily, you look as stunning as always." Bart was charming, and it was always a bit disturbing for Chuck to see his father in action.

Lily then turned to Chuck and proceeded to give him a small hug, "Charles, so good to see you."

Serena politely greeted Bart, and only gave Chuck a curt nod of her head, saying his name in acknowledgement of his presence. He suddenly wondered how much Serena knew…

They all took their places at the dinner table, and at first the adults dominated the conversation. However, Lily was a well-trained hostess and would not allow Chuck to be neglected. "Charles, did you have a pleasant holiday? Serena spent most of hers visiting Blair Waldorf in Paris. Did you not also travel?"

Chuck watched Serena as Lily spoke. Serena smiled a little, a small twinkle in her eyes as she watched him for any sign… any flinch at the mention of her best friend in Paris.

"Yes, I traveled through Europe a little this winter." He replied vaguely.

"Actually," Serena perked up, "I ran into Chuck one night in Barcelona."

Chuck's stomach rolled.

Serena was a perfect actress as she continued speaking, "I'm… not sure where he went after that…" she tilted her blonde head, pursing her lips as she mocked having deep thoughts, "Was it Paris?"

Chuck was staring daggers at Serena, but his nonchalant façade was in place when attention was returned to him, "Yes, it was. I had a desire to see the city of lights before I returned home."

Serena took his reply in stride, "Did you see all you had hoped on your visit?"

Her disingenuous line of inquiry was starting to press on Chuck, and his heart was beating furiously as he stared her down, "I don't think you can ever get enough… of Paris."

Serena sighed a little, fingering her glass of water with a sense of longing, "That is true, I already miss it… so much. Don't you?"

Chuck's eyes dropped as he thought on how much he missed Blair. His eyes fell to the elegant arrangement on the table… peonies. He remembered the first time he had hurt Blair. The look on her face as she pulled from her locker the peonies he had left for her. Such sadness… It was too much, and he excused himself. Quickly walking to the bathroom he closed the door, leaning his head back; he closed his eyes, and inhaled deeply. In his mind, he heard Blair's giggle, and his lips tingled at the memory of her kisses. He let out a ragged breath and splashed cool water on his face. He hoped the conversation would have moved on when he returned to the table.

Lily looked curiously at her daughter after Chuck abruptly excused himself, "Serena, whatever did you do to upset poor Charles?"

Bart cut in, "He went to Paris?"

"Yes, I believe he was there around New Year's. I had suggested it, actually. I thought _Paris_ might be a good place for him to visit. Perhaps I was wrong?" Serena shrugged, dismissing her statement to make it look like less than it was.

Bart however, saw through this, and understood all that had just passed. Chuck had tried to see Blair and it clearly had not gone well, given Serena's dig and Chuck's reaction. He was rather grateful for Serena's teasing, for it was more than he imagined he would have gotten out of Chuck. But now a change in topic was overdue.

"Lily, is that a new piece of art above the staircase?"

"You always have such an eye for detail, Bart! It is indeed…" Lily continued on about the new piece and Chuck quietly slipped back to the table.

Serena quirked an eyebrow at him, and Chuck gave her a blank stare. He had given her too much as it was. He only hoped no one else understood what they had really been discussing.

Across the table, Serena had enjoyed torturing Chuck, and in front of his father! But he had reacted more than she had expected. It occurred to her that she now had something in common with Chuck Bass - they both missed Blair Waldorf.

She left him alone the rest of the evening and when the visit came to a close, Serena reached out, and touched his arm. With this gesture, Chuck met her gaze, his face was pale and his eyes were empty. Suddenly, she could not help but hug him, and whispered, "I'm sorry…"

Somehow, Serena's pity only made him feel worse. When she hugged him, his mind jumped to the idea that, in a way, it was like receiving a hug from Blair by proxy. Yet none of this soothed him.

Bart kept quiet in the elevator down from the van der Woodsen penthouse, watching his son from the corner of his eye. Chuck had changed so much in these past months; Bart could no longer quite tell what to make of him. He had never seen Chuck pursue anything remotely serious. But Blair Waldorf had clearly affected his son in a significant way.

When the chauffeur closed the limo door, Bart turned to his son, "Is there anything I need to know about Paris? Serena went rather out of her way to ask you about it."

Chuck laid his head back against the seat and sighed, "No. Just an exceptional end to my holiday."

Bart, however, did not buy it, "What is Blair doing in Paris? I thought she went to school with you?"

"She lives there now." Chuck's voice was monotone, though it burned in his chest to say it aloud.

"She moved in the middle of the school year? I would imagine there would have to be a substantial reason to motivate such a sudden and drastic change like that." Bart persisted.

_Would shame, humiliation, and a broken heart suffice?_ Part of Chuck's mind replied bitterly. "Yes, I suppose there must have been."

"Did you see her in Paris?" Bart was growing annoyed with his son's prevaricating, and they would be at the hotel soon, where Chuck could hide or run off.

"Yes." It was curt, and acrid.

"Charles." Bart growled.

Chuck's resolve broke in a wave of frustration, "She left because of me. And I can't clear her from my mind."

Bart furrowed his brow in concern, "What did you do that made her run away to Paris?"

"I…" Chuck's lips were dry, and he licked them as he recalled Blair's face the night of the ball, watching bliss turn to agony. "I… hurt her. She made me happy, and I hurt her."

He raked a hand through his hair, his chest tightening. He hated the memory, and had denied what he had done- when Serena threw it at him, when Nate pushed the topic, but when he had seen it on Blair's face on the bridge in Paris, and remembered how it felt to be near her… saying it now to his father, he saw and felt the depth of what he had done.

"Chuck." Bart's voice had lost a bit of its usual brusqueness, "You're my son, and Bass men don't give up. If you care about her, don't let her go, and be the man she needs." Bart's phone suddenly went off and he looked down at the screen, "Fuck."

He gave Chuck a brief glance as he answered, "This had better be important."

Chuck stared out the window as he listened to his father growl at the poor person on the other end of the line. Bart had to go straight back to the office. When he dropped Chuck off at the hotel, he grabbed the boy's shoulder and looked into the brown eyes his wife had blessed him with, "If she's important to you, don't give up."

Chuck did not want to go up to the suite and sit in silence. He stepped into Gilt Bar, enjoying the buzz of people around him; he took a seat and ordered scotch. The best part of getting wasted here was that the suite was just upstairs and all of the staff knew him.

It took several drinks before his mind began to relax and the bitterness of the memories was washed from his mouth. Now he found himself staring into the murky brown liquid, his father's words tumbling around in his head: _if you care about her… be the man she needs. _Since that night all he had thought about was how _he_ needed _her_, how _his_ happiness was gone. He winced a little, recalling her slap, his cheek tingling once more from the memory.

He thought of their walks, all of their flirting and challenges, the intense rounds of sex, shopping with her in Paris, and when they sat in the library just reading and being close to one another. How was he supposed to fight for that thousands of miles away?

"Is this seat taken?"

Chuck's face was harsh, his eyes narrowed coldly as he looked up at the intruder. He softened the second he recognized the willowy blonde. He gestured to the seat next to him.

Serena ordered a cosmopolitan, and after a few sips, she fidgeted with the glass before speaking at last, "I really am sorry for going after you like that, and in front of your father. I guess… after I heard about Paris from Blair, I was angry on her behalf. But the look on your face, and how you left the table…"

"That obvious, huh?" Chuck laughed humorlessly and then tossed back his scotch. He cared. He cared and his father was right, he could not give up.

"What are you going to do? Don't get me wrong, I hate you for hurting my best friend, and I hate you because you're the reason she's not here anymore." Serena had been looking into his eyes, and now she looked down at the translucent red drink in her hands, "But I think she would come back sooner- if she ever does, for you."

Chuck stared at her, "Do you really believe that?"

Serena finally turned back to him, "You've been a womanizer for the past couple years, and on _that_ night you were a tremendous ass. But for four months you made my best friend so happy and she grew as a person because of you."

"Then what more do you want from me?" He looked angrily down at his fresh glass of scotch. "I tried…"

"Do you forget you've been here before? Do the little things like you did last time. Nothing too intense- or painful, just… remind her you care. She will probably be angry for awhile, but don't stop- not if you're serious." Serena promptly finished her drink, thinking she was probably saying too much. She turned and gave him a serious look; pointing her finger at him, "_Don't_ think you can get information from me. If I tell you _anything_ it is for Blair's sake. Don't confuse my loyalty."

Chuck recalled the several times she had gone after him before. He would not make that mistake. Raising his drink to her, he downed it all in one long draw. Placing the glass back down, he simply said, "Understood."

Serena hopped down from the barstool, her peppy self once more, "Thanks for the drink! I'll see you at school."

* * *

Blair stood in her closet, changing her mind again. She knew her new school did not require uniforms, but the intense pressure of the first day made choosing an outfit difficult. She huffed a little, irritated with her indecision before she finally pulled out a modest black skirt, red knitted shirt, and her new Chanel pumps.

Her sleep was fitful from her nervousness, and her subconscious distracted her with memories of her nights with Chuck. In her mind, the feel of him was so vivid; her skin felt hot, the sound of him whispering in her ear before kissing down her neck, the sensation of him inside her, filling her, reaching so deep inside… She was so exhausted, pulling at her sheets in frustration before giving in, her hand slipping between her legs. She pushed hard, trying to reach as far as Chuck did, and the effort made her head swim and her hips buck. She shuddered as she came into her hand, whimpering, "Chuck…" before her eyes rolled back and she passed out.

The next morning Roman and Harold fawned over her like it was her first day of kindergarten. It was excessive, and sweet, and just enough to make her forget her nervousness and her anger with herself at last night's indiscretion. They walked her out to the town car, beaming as they waved her off.

Blair gazed up at the iconic Clovis bell tower for a moment after stepping out of the town car. Students were streaming into the building to get out of the cold, and in spite of her apprehension, she raised her head high and walked into her new school. Some students stared at her, others whispered as Blair walked to the administration office.

Her schedule and a pile of books awaited her in the office- along with a boy. He took her books, shuffling them in his arms nervously as he looked at her. The secretary spoke, "Charles, please show Ms. Waldorf to her first class."

Blair smiled sweetly at him, in her head thinking; _of course his name is Charles!_ She watched him as they walked through the halls, deducing his place in the hierarchy by whom he greeted and who greeted him. He was of fair social standing it appeared.

"How have you come to study at Henri IV?" Charles asked her.

"I came from America to live with my father." Blair replied, her French flawless.

"You are American?" He sputtered, "Why are you not at an International School?"

Blair tried to not sound haughty, "Because this is Paris. We are in the academic heart of the city. The Sorbonne, the Panthéon… why would I not study here?"

He looked back at her sheepishly just before they arrived at her to her first class, "Welcome to Henri IV, Blair Waldorf." before departing.

The first day of classes was as exhausting as Blair had predicted it would be. The teachers pushed to see where she was compared to the other students, but she had prepared for that. Introducing herself to her new classmates was tedious and their reactions were mixed. Some were clearly not impressed with her, while others twittered about 'the American.'

Yet the most exhausting part of the day was lunch. It was a tactical maneuver she made; Blair sat alone at a table rather than choosing to sit with anyone else. For the first few minutes, she desperately missed Serena. But slowly, the curiosity of her classmates began to win out, and they broke from the coteries to learn about her- well, mostly they wanted to hear about America. Had she met any celebrities? Was New York really what it looked like in the movies?

She humored them, the little ones that came to her. But she was more interested in the ones that did not come; the ones that looked at her with distaste and disapproval. Who were the powerful ones here? One name kept coming up in conversation: Marie Girard.

Too many things had to happen on this first day of school. And though the end of afternoon classes had completely worn her down, she had to make a move to be clearly in play within this hierarchy. Gathering her things at the end of the day, with several of her new minions flanking her, she saw Marie walking down the hallway, surrounded by her own minions. Blair moved to stand directly in her path, forcing a confrontation.

"My, my, if it isn't the new little American." Marie chided in English, "I cannot imagine what you think you are doing in such a sacred school as Henri IV."

"Sacred it is- an inspiration to a life of the mind. But it is hardly the Maisons d'éducation de la Légion d'honneur." The name rolled smoothly off Blair's tongue, and it clearly irked Marie to mention a school whose admission was only by hereditary right.

"There need to be some places that are safe from filthy Americans. Go home, Blair Waldorf." Marie ended the skirmish, by pushing past Blair.

Inwardly, Blair sighed with relief that it had been so short. She was feeling more and more tired by the minute. On her worst days, Constance had never felt so draining. She had never had to prove that Waldorf meant anything substantial, but starting out here, she was nothing but an American. A smart American, who spoke French well, but it was going to be a fight to teach them what it meant to be from the Upper East Side, and to be Blair Waldorf.

Sliding into the safety of the town car, she tried to relax, to rest a little, and be strong. She thought of how much Serena believed in her, but it only made her miss her best friend more.

* * *

Serena stepped out of the town car, staring up at her school. She sighed; none of this would be the same without Blair. Standing in the courtyard she looked around, feeling oddly lost. She could sit with Penelope and the girls, but they had never been to her liking. She could sit anywhere she liked, honestly, but she only wanted to sit with Blair. Glancing into a dark corner near the entrance to the building, she saw Chuck in the shadows.

Walking over to him, Serena noticed he was looking at something in his notebook. Peaking her head over to sneak a look, she asked, "What are you looking at, Chuck?"

He promptly snapped it shut, and looked at her with a blank expression, "Nothing."

Serena knew better, "I'd bet all the peonies in New York it's a photo of Blair." She raised her eyebrow, half question, half challenge.

"Just my notes from English class." Chuck glared at her.

Staring back at him, Serena pulled the notebook from his hands and flipped it open without breaking stare. Glancing down now, she saw his English notes were there- since when did Chuck take notes in class? But there was a picture of Blair, too. She was wearing the green dress Serena knew she had worn in Paris over… Thanksgiving.

Chuck furiously grabbed his notebook back. He shoved it into his bag and hastily turned to leave, nearly running headlong into Penelope.

"Chuck Bass." His name was sharp on her tongue, "Looking forward to the new term? Without Blair Waldorf here, I rather expect we'll see your return to… proper form?" Penelope's grin was wicked, and she enjoyed watching him flinch when she said Blair's name.

His gaze was hard as he looked into her vapid black eyes, "She may be gone, but you are still unworthy of even uttering her name. And if I needed a good fuck, god knows it would never be with you."

Chuck pushed past her and walked into the building. Serena's eyes were wide, and she had to cover the smile on her face as she tried to not laugh at Penelope.

* * *

Blair smiled at Roman, who was waiting to see how her first day of school had gone.

"It was good!" She lied, "Just let me put my things away?"

In her room, she pushed the door closed behind her and let out a shuddering breath. Closing her eyes, she thought how much she missed Serena; she missed her uniform, Dean and Deluca coffee, and the Met steps.

She opened her eyes and glanced at her desk. Her breath fled from her lungs at the sight of a vase full of perfect pink peonies. Setting her bag down, she reached out, hand trembling, for the card nestled in the soft blossoms. Maybe… maybe they were from Serena? Or her father? Eleanor? Her mind wanted it to be anyone except who she knew they must be from.

Opening the envelope, she saw CB at the top of the card and she swallowed hard as her stomach pitched and rolled. It occurred to her that this card had come from New York, penned in his own hand, rather than just a dictated note to the florist. Her head spun and she pulled out her desk chair, sitting before her legs grew any weaker. Blair removed the card from the envelope.

_Words fail me. Forgive that I must look to those from the past _

_to find the words to describe my present._

_xx_

"_Happiness always looks so small while you hold it in your hands,_

_but let it go, and you learn at once_

_how big and precious it is."_

_~Maxim Gorky_

It hurt. It hurt _so_ much. And she was angry- no, furious. How arrogant… and presumptuous! Strength restored in her fury, Blair dropped the card and picked up the vase, stomping down to the kitchen. Setting it in the sink, she tore the blossoms from their stems, feathery petals crushed beneath her fingers before dropping and crashing into the cold metal sink. It was sick satisfaction for all the pain and anger in her heart. After the day she had… to come home and have him stab her in the heart.

She fought against the sob that heaved in her chest, "That Chuck Basstard!" It came out part curse, part cry.

Roman walked into the kitchen in search of a refill for his coffee mug. He heard Blair and he saw her figure hunched over the sink. She jerked against him in surprise as he hugged her, "Shh, it's just me."

Blair wrapped her arms around her other father, resting her head against him. She managed to not cry, but the weight of her emotions hung on her. She whispered, "When will I be happy again?"

Her heart pounded in her ears, pressure making her head ache. She was irrevocably torn- angry and touched at the same time. Why was he torturing her like this? Why was he not letting her go?

* * *

Chuck turned on the light as he stepped into his bedroom. Sighing, he sat down his school bag and glanced at the clock. There were several hours until dinner, after which Nate would be by for an evening smoke. Sitting at his desk, Chuck pulled open his notebook and removed the picture of Blair.

The pain was acute but he could not stop himself. Even though it hurt, underneath it there was that little warmth of happiness, because that night in Paris with her was the apogee of everything for him. It was the first time he saw the kind of man he could be, the life he could have- being a part of a family, of someone else's life. It was the first time he had ever felt so deeply about another person.

He propped the photo against the desk lamp and pulled out his textbooks. He stared at the thick algebra book for a moment before opening it. Part of him could not believe he was doing this. But the stronger part of him was louder; this was a fight, a fight that he had to win. _Be the man she needs_. It was a long road to redemption, but it was worth it- Blair was worth it.

* * *

**A/N Chapter title from from Sky Samuelle's one-shot, which OutForAWalk wonderfully suggested for this chapter!**

**A lot of thank yous, hugs, and kisses for this chapter. Thank you to Glutton/Maribells for the amazing job beta-editing this! To Poinsettia, GGFan73104, OutForAWalk, Noirreigne, and TheVeryLastValkyrie for their feedback, support, cheer leading, and just being fantastic friends. I love all of you!**


	20. They All Lived Happily Ever After or Not

Chapter Twenty:

They All Lived Happily Ever After… or Not

Blair was determined to carve out a place that was uniquely hers at Henri IV. The course work was challenging, and it would most likely be weeks before she could fully prove herself to her teachers. Socially, 'The American' enchanted more students with stories of her posh life in New York than she was disgusting them. They came to respect her strength and knowledge. At lunch, she listened to her minions, gathering basic information about everyone, most especially, Marie Girard.

"I heard at New Year's, she danced with Prince Louis of Monaco!" One girl, Maddy, gushed.

"He may only be second in the line of succession, but he is cuter than his brother! And completely sweet from the things I've heard," Alyssa, a newer minion, jumped in.

"He is studying at Sciences Po. If only he were at the Sorbonne we might get to run into him!" Maddy fantasized.

"As if any of us have much of a chance! And if any of us does, it will be Marie. She's met him, and is determined to have him if she can." Emilie now stepped into their conversation.

Blair filed all this away; the whole time wondering what Serena had been doing lately.

Wednesday passed in a similar manner, with the added event of a minor skirmish in the halls with Marie. Blair continued to hold her own against the Queen.

At home, she relaxed with a cup of tea before opening her books. Philosophy and math were her least favorites, and she was deciding which one to start with when Roman knocked on her door.

"Blair, you have a visitor in the library." He paused a moment in thought, "And put on the little dress from Chanel."

He closed the door, and Blair stared at it for a moment. A visitor? And why would Roman tell her to change? But she did as she was advised, freshening up in the process. She hopped down the steps, a little happy at the prospect of a diversion from her studies. Pushing the library door open, Blair tried to hide her curiosity.

"Louis?" She recognized him, though he was more casually dressed than on New Year's.

"Blair! I hope you do not mind my visit?" He smiled at her.

"Not at all. Just a little bewildered that you tracked me down." Blair was genuinely a bit astonished by it.

"Such refreshing conversation is worth the minor effort. Now come, will you sit with me?"

A maid soon brought them tea and biscuits, and Blair enjoyed talking with him, and thinking about something beyond school. Louis talked very little of himself, always spurning her on to talk more about herself, her life in New York, and her friends and family. He stayed for half an hour, to the minute. Rising from their seats, he asked if he might visit again next week. Blair obliged and found she was dreading her homework a little less after their tea.

* * *

Friday night in New York found Chuck and Serena at the Oak Bar, drowning in their respective drink of choice. He was morose and she was bitter.

"She should be here," Serena grumbled into her fifth cosmopolitan, "Why did you have to run her off!"

"She left _both_ of us. If you're such great friends, she would have stayed for you." Chuck drawled mockingly.

"If you hadn't been an insensitive prick, she wouldn't have wanted to leave." Serena smacked his failures in his face.

"Well, if she loved being with you over the holidays, she would have come home," he insisted, "You couldn't even get her to go to Barcelona with you," Chuck smirked cruelly at her.

"You should have apologized before New Year's and swept her off her feet!" Serena half shouted before pouting into her glass, "Now she'll never come back…"

"Yes she will- she'll visit you someday. And at least she's talking to you," Chuck muttered swirling his scotch a moment before emptying its contents into the bottomless pit of his sorrow.

"True…" Serena forfeited, "But the time difference makes it odd, and this is Blair. She knows how to keep busy; we only spoke for a few minutes. I wonder if she even has time to think about us. Does she miss us?"

"Does she miss _you_? She couldn't possibly miss me," he said with a bitter smile, his heart aching at the thought, "When you spoke… on Wednesday, did she mention me? Or the flowers?" Chuck was pleading a little.

"Flowers? Oh Chuck!" Serena drunkenly tried to hug him, "You _are_ trying!"

"Well?" He sounded more impatient this time.

"No. I had no idea. We don't ever talk about you…" Serena was halfway though her sixth cosmopolitan, "Not even during the holidays except once… well, twice."

"Tell me?" The scotch had completely dissolved his protective shell, and all he wanted was to hear about Blair.

Serena could barely handle the look on his face. She questioned if she was actually looking at Chuck Bass for he looked so broken down. She empathized with his pain, so she began talking, "It was on Christmas. Blair reluctantly admitted to me how she thought she would have been spending it with you, the way she had thought it would be. She became so upset after that, I tried to placate her, telling her how depressed I had heard you were. But it only upset her more and she went to bed."

Chuck drank the information in and although it tore at him, there was that little bit of joy from knowing she had been thinking of Christmas… with him. "Thank you." He whispered.

Serena looked at him for a few moments, not quite sure what to make of the person sitting next to her. Neither of them said much after that and soon Serena left, and Chuck returned to his suite to pass out in his bed, imagining what Christmas could have been.

* * *

Time passed to the steady beat of Blair's alarm beeping in the morning. Blair kept her energy focused on schoolwork and her skirmishes with Marie Girard, as neither of them was backing down. It kept her mind off Chuck, whom she still dreamed about some nights- but it was getting a little better. Serena never mentioned him on the phone, but they never spoke long; just talking with Serena hurt, she missed her best friend. Chuck still sent flowers however, every Monday, like clockwork, they waited for her after school. She was stronger the second time around and his second note made her smile before she realized what she was doing:

"_For every minute you are angry,_

_you lose sixty seconds of happiness." ~ Unknown_

She sighed and quickly tucked the card away with the other note in the little drawer of her nightstand. Blair glimpsed at the photo of them she kept there as well and then quickly closed it all away.

When Wednesday arrived, Blair found she was looking forward to having tea with Louis and talking more with him. It was the one time she could talk to someone- other than Harold or Roman, without having to wear the bitch-façade she wore at school.

Louis enjoyed his time with Blair because though she was beautiful and interesting in her own right, it was a chance to be around someone who did not know he was a Prince, and therefore did not treat him like one. To Blair, he was just a person.

After the general niceties, Louis asked a question he had been wondering since they last spoke, "You've told me all about your life in New York, the friends you have there, the things you loved about the city. Yet, I don't understand what caused you to move to Paris?"

Blair stared into her teacup a moment, she paused and decided it was time she probably told someone. "Love. His name is Chuck, and I fell in love with him. Then he broke my heart… in an awful, awful way. And… I had to leave."

She looked down at the carpet and was surprised that, although her breath shuddered as she spoke it, she was at last not crying.

Louis reached out and touched her hand, "I'm so sorry, Blair. I would not have asked if I had any idea…"

"No, it's fine!" Blair instantly pulled herself together and smiled at him, "Now, I just want to enjoy myself. No boys, just… life. See parts of Paris I have never seen before and meet new and interesting people- like you."

He found her response enlightening, "I feel the same way. My family… well, I am not so concerned with dating, I just want to enjoy the world around me. Sometimes it would be nice to have someone to take out though." Louis looked at Blair thoughtfully.

Blair laughed a little, "But you are at university! It's hardly like you exist in the microscopic social sphere of my lycée. Some days it is absolutely brutal."

"I think you'd be surprised how well I understand it." Louis laughed in response, but changed the conversation, "How are you liking it at Henri IV?"

* * *

Another Friday night and Chuck could hardly be bothered to even leave the Palace. So he drank at Gilt Bar. Oddly, Serena joined him again. When her drink arrived, she clinked it against his, "To Blair."

That made him sigh. He felt so strange in his own skin and lately the only thing that made him feel alive were thoughts of Blair; that he could get back to that feeling that he had with her.

"How is she?" He queried, not certain Serena would give him a response.

"Fine, I guess? I can tell now that she misses me… I think things are more of a fight than she expected. Yet, I know in time, she'll be okay." Serena then proceeded to down her cosmopolitan.

"Good heavens, I could see the storm cloud over your heads from a mile away!"

Serena turned and perked up, "Georgina! Is it already that late?"

The brunette was scantily clad, "I'm early. I'm ready to party! Speaking of parties…" Georgina locked her sights on Chuck. "You haven't had a party since October. This whole 'I'm lost without her' thing is just pathetic."

Chuck simply stared at her; he could not believe Georgina Sparks was lecturing him.

"If you don't get it together soon, you're going to loose all your credibility. No one cares that you smoke pot with Nate Archibald. You're Chuck Bass, not…" Georgina gestured at him, "this."

He gave her a dismissive look, though he was already thinking she had a point. The last thing he needed was his peers giving him lip about his personal life. He was not going to let them attack or judge him while he quietly fought for Blair. He would get her back, and then they would all bow before them.

"Come on, S. It's not really Friday night until we've danced on the tables at Bungalow!" Georgina pulled Serena away from the bar, without a second look at Chuck.

Finishing his drink, Chuck thought on what Georgina had said. He needed some more perspective and pulled out his phone. A quick call and he was out to meet Nate at one of their old hangouts. His friend was happy to see him out of the hotel; that alone spoke volumes.

"What drags the great Chuck Bass from his palace?" Nate chuckled.

"An unwelcome reminder." Chuck offered and then ordered a scotch.

Nate had smoked plenty before coming out and was still happily relaxed, willingly calling it as he saw it, "Blair?"

"No," Chuck replied swiftly, "Me actually. Is it so obvious to everyone that… she affected me?"

Taking a drink from his beer, Nate thought a moment. "In a word, yes. You should have been back to your old tricks weeks ago if what you had said at the ball was true. If you keep up behaving like a heartbroken, alcoholic hermit then everyone will know it was a lie. They will judge you for it, look down at you, and if that happens? You might as well run away to France, too."

Chuck soaked it in for a few minutes- the honest truth of what Nate had said. The image he had created before Blair was powerful and useful. It was a means of status in their society, and now it was a shield with which he could protect the things that were important to him- his desire and feelings for Blair.

"Well then, what shall we do first, Nathaniel?" He inquired before downing his scotch. And with that- Georgina's comment and Nate's agreement, Chuck Bass began partying again. That weekend alone the clubs were happy to see Nate and Chuck back to their usual games.

* * *

Back in Paris, several more weeks passed for Blair in her established pattern. She and Marie made passes at one another throughout the week, while Wednesdays were tea with Louis. She enjoyed the happy distraction that was her tea dates with him. Louis was kind and friendly and now she was even able to tell him a little more about her time with Chuck, though she still could not speak of the night he broke her heart.

The nights she happened to dream of Chuck were now always full of her happy times with him, before spiraling into more… intimate recollections. These instances still vexed Blair however; they were uncontrolled moments in a very controlled existence. That is what Chuck was to her: volatile, uncontrolled, and emotional, the one thing that could unravel her. Receiving peonies from him marked Mondays with structured regularity, however his notes were a hazardous affair. This past Monday had made her flush pink, her lips tingle as she absentmindedly stroked the silky peonies while reading his note and thinking of him:

_"Happiness is like a kiss...you must share it to enjoy it." ~ Bernard Meltzer_

It was a cold and bitter Wednesday at the end of February. Blair was of course looking forward to seeing Louis, but today it was the hot tea that she was most excited for. Marie had made a particularly cruel comment about her being a lowly American and it left her feeling cold and grumpy.

Stepping outside at the end of classes, the snow had stopped, the sun was shining, and there was a soft breeze. The harsh morning had calmed and the day had become quite pretty. Blair looked for her town car, but did not see it. She was about to pull out her phone when Louis suddenly stepped out of a nearby car. She walked the few short steps up to him, smiling, "Louis, what are you doing here?"

"I have a sudden engagement during our usual tea time, but I did not want to miss having tea with you. Shall we go?" He began to turn back towards the car.

"Oh, your highness! What has brought you to Henri IV on such a cold day?" Marie was heading straight at Louis. Blair kept her face cool, but did she hear her say _your highness_?

"I am just picking up Blair. We are off to have tea at her home."

"Tea?" Marie politely asked, her eyes moving from Louis to Blair, her face looking at her enemy as though they had been best friends for years.

"Oh yes," Blair put her arm through Louis's, smiling, "Just like every Wednesday since New Year's."

And with that, Blair and Louis quickly slipped into the car before Marie's shock wore off and she said another word.

They sat in silence for a few beats before Blair turned to him and calmly asked, "Prince?"

"I was going to tell you today at tea… I'm sorry for keeping this from you, Blair." Louis looked painfully guilty as he apologized.

"But…" Blair's head was still spinning, "Why would you not tell me?"

"It was nice talking with someone that, for once, saw me as a person and not a Prince." Louis stared out the window as he spoke.

It was quiet again as Blair thought about this. She came to Paris for the same kind of reason, she realized. No one here knew her, or knew what Chuck had done to her. She was able to escape that, and looking at Louis, she realized he could not escape his title. They had arrived at her house, and she opened the door, "Would you still like some tea?"

Louis looked at her and smiled.

* * *

The first weekend of March, Chuck hosted a huge, debaucherous party to announce his 'return.' He felt numb the entire time, but he kept the act up and in no time people were so drunk, drugged, or wrapped around another person, they were hardly concerned with their host. He ruled over all of them quietly from above the main floor of the club he had rented out. Nate was always at his side, and on occasion, Chuck caught him looking at him, a knowing look in his eyes. But Nate was a part of his mask, and he would not share his secretly beating heart.

It took several more weekends of partying before he took his last step backwards for the sake of his reputation. Drugging himself a fair bit, he took a prostitute to bed. Even through the haze, he knew it was not Blair; her hair was too short, and not as soft, her body felt wrong. So he fucked her hard- harder and harder, until in his mind he could hear Blair crying his name- making him come.

It became easier after that, but at night, when no one was watching or waiting for him to screw - to screw up something, or someone - it killed him: the pleasure-seeker, the thrill-chaser, the masochist forced to live side by side inside him. Alone, he worked for Blair's love and attention, all pink peonies and words of sadness...but in public, he was Chuck Bass, with a heart two sizes too small, if one even lived in his chest at all.

* * *

After word spread about Blair and Louis at school, Marie started losing ground. Blair's influence had steadily been growing, and now that it had come to light that she had been spending time every week with Prince Louis? This only added to her power over the school's population.

Blair and Louis continued their tea dates, and soon he asked her to a gala being hosted the following week, "It would be an immense favor to me, Blair, if you would go. You have been such a good friend to me these past two months, I just think we would have a fun time together."

"Of course I'll go!" Blair hugged him in excitement, before scooting him out the door, "Now I have to go shopping!"

The evening of the gala, Blair was nervous and excited. She really felt like she was living her life now. Louis arrived, her dress was declared stunning, and photos were taken. Slipping her coat on, she realized, "Oh dear, I left my clutch on my nightstand!"

She moved to go back upstairs, but Louis stopped her, "No, let me, I will be quick."

He had briefly seen her room in the past, and he quickly walked to her nightstand. Louis picked up her clutch, but then noticed a tiny drawer was ajar. Pulling it open so he might properly close it, he saw a photo of Blair with another man. Curious, he picked it up, looking on the back he read, "Blair and Chuck, Thanksgiving 2006."

_So this is Chuck?_ He thought, appraising the photo. Chuck was handsome, and he and Blair made a beautiful couple. The look in Chuck's eyes, the smile on his face… it made him wonder what could have caused him to break Blair's heart. He looked so happy here, happy to be with Blair.

Setting it back in the drawer, there was also a mess of note cards with the photo. CB was printed atop all of them, and lifting one up, he read,

_"If you wait for the perfect moment when all is safe and assured, it may never arrive. Mountains will not be climbed, races won, or lasting happiness achieved. " ~ Maurice Chevalier _

The date penned at the bottom was this past Monday. Louis replaced the card, setting it back with its siblings, and closed the drawer. Returning to Blair, he began to wonder more about her and what had happened with this Chuck. But pushing it aside for the evening, he had to focus on being Prince Louis of Monaco tonight and save being Blair's friend for later.

Arriving at the gala, Louis handed Blair out of the car and onto the red carpet. There were photographers and a small number of reporters. Blair smiled on Louis's arm, a perfect angel, polite and demur, charming everyone from reporters to dignitaries with her wit and conversation. She was happy, and she was a success.

* * *

Sunday morning, there was a pounding on Chuck's door. His head ached from a night of excess, and he fought to get himself out of the bed. Opening the door, he saw through half-opened eyes that it was his PI.

"What brings you to my door at such a lovely hour?" Chuck drawled.

"I felt I should give these to you in person." The detective replied as he handed Chuck several periodicals.

Taking them, Chuck walked into the kitchen for a glass of water. Looking down, the papers were already sorted through and opened to the relevant sections. Blair. Blair was in the papers. His mind went fuzzy and he could not read the print because she was staring up at him from the page, "What is this? Explain to me what this is?"

"Since January there had been an unidentified man visiting the house every week, on Wednesdays. He was always quick to be in and out, and we had been trying to identify him for some time, though if he was visiting with her or one of her fathers, we could not discover. Now we don't need to. Last night she attended a gala with him-"

"Who is he?" Chuck roared cutting the man off mid-sentence as his anger began boiling.

"Prince Louis of Monaco. Second in line to the monarchy," the detective finished.

"I need to see her. Tell me when I can see her, find out what she is doing, now!" Chuck gripped the paper in his hands, his eyes devouring the image of her smiling up at him. _Blair_.

* * *

**AN: Chapter title borrowed from JenCourt's epic GG fic. **

**Endless love to Georgia, my beloved editor, just freshly returned from Spain- lucky girl! And dear me, who else gets love on this chapter? There are so many wonderfully supportive friends I am so fortunate to have! Noirreigne, Poinsettia, The Very Last Valkyrie, GGFan73104, mlhaper, and GellerGreen for all your kinds words, support, and just being incredible women.**

**I'd also like to dedicate this chapter to my kitty Winifred who I had to put to sleep today. She was just 18 years old, and such a constant in my life since I was a little girl. She was the best cat and an even dearer companion. Heaven only knows I got through editing this chapter because of my great friends given all the crying I've done today. **


	21. The Unforgettable Fire

Chapter Twenty-One:

The Unforgettable Fire

It was the last full week of March, and all of Paris could feel the hints of spring in the air. After the gala with Louis, Blair floated to school on Monday. She had not enjoyed herself this much in months. She felt like a person again, and Louis was so kind to her.

Entering the great green doors of Henri IV that morning, everyone was talking about her. What had been rumors before were now out in the open. All the girls wanted to hear the details; what was the Prince like? Did she dance with him? Who was at the gala?

By the end of the day, Marie was livid that Blair was usurping her position, and the man she wanted. But Marie had been doing her homework. The two girls came head to head exiting the school.

"I cannot imagine what Louis sees in a pathetic little American like you," Marie spat, frowning at Blair.

"_His Highness_ apparently enjoys my company more than any of the French girls he has met," Blair replied haughtily. All of the students murmured, and Blair began to push past Marie.

But Marie snagged Blair's sleeve for a moment, and hissed in her ear, "You know you love me."

Blair's step never faltered, her face remained cool and pristine, but inside she was shaken. She stepped quickly toward her waiting town car. What had Marie found?

Blair was still preoccupied when she came home and walked into her room. Like all the weeks before, there was a giant vase full of pink peonies. It shook her down from the last bit of her cloud of happiness, and she sighed. Pulling the card free, she sat on her bed, fondly touching the letters of her name across the envelope. She lifted the envelope up, inhaling its scent before she realized what she was doing. There was an overwhelming shock of tender memories coming to life at the slight smell of him. Oh, the idea of lying in his arms again! Her breath shuddered and it took all her strength to push the memories away. She opened the envelope and read his note:

"_When a man has lost all happiness, he's not alive._

_Call him a breathing corpse."_ ~Sophocles

Enough. Enough! Why was he doing all of this? What was his goal with all this torment and torture? Blair went to her desk and pulled out a sheet of stationery.

* * *

In place of tea that Wednesday, Blair and Louis walked through the gardens at the Trocadero, enjoying the fresh air and the little bit of sunshine that was peaking out from the clouds.

"Blair, you were delightful at the gala. Thank you so much for going with me," Louis smiled. "Will all the attention and speculation not bother you?"

"No, I enjoy our friendship. No one ever seems to believe men and women can only be friends." The irony of her words was not lost on her; she thought of Chuck and how they had pretended they were _only_ friends in front of her family. She wondered if he would hear news of her outing with the Prince, but she pushed the thought aside; an entire ocean was between them and she was safe.

Louis seemed to follow her thoughts and breeched the topic, "Might you finally tell me now… what happened with Chuck?"

Blair's eyes were wide when she looked up at him, "He broke my heart. Isn't that enough?"

"Not if we are truly friends." Louis would not let her drop the topic. They came to a bench and sat, as Blair pondered how to explain Chuck Bass to a stranger.

"It was… a strange relationship to begin with. Chuck is famous, even at our age, for living a hedonistic and indulgent life. One day, I caught his attention and after that… we pushed each other, and challenged each other. I discovered a whole new part of myself with him, and after awhile there were feelings…" Blair began thinking of that last night together in Paris, "I think… I know he felt them, too."

Louis kept quiet, but reached out to hold her hand.

"He was good to me; he was different with me. I never asked him for anything, yet… I gave him everything." _Make me yours- only yours, Chuck._ "He took me to the winter ball, and I was so happy. It was all so perfect, and we were dancing. It was heaven, and he kissed me… and I said 'I love you.'" Blair felt her throat closing, as the words grew thicker in her mouth. Louis put his arm around her, squeezing her tight. She closed her eyes, trying to shut out the pain of the memory. But she saw him, she saw Chuck's cold eyes, his face hard as he looked at her.

"I didn't mean to… " Her voice was pleading, the words meant for Chuck's ears rather than Louis'.

" I mean it wasn't planned- it just slipped out." Blair felt her chest tightening as the memory rolled back onto her, "He snapped; in front of everyone. He ripped my heart out and called me a whore."

Her voice slowly dipped into a whisper, "But I loved him…" A single perfect tear slipped down effortlessly, though she had not felt tears and had hoped by now she had no more tears left for him.

She inhaled a shuddering breath and straightened her back, pulling herself upright, "But I will not be weak anymore! That is why I am here- to grow stronger, without his shadow hanging over me. It is taking time… I am not strong enough yet, but… someday."

"You are already quite strong, Blair." Louis smiled softly at her and held her in his arms for a few minutes longer. "Now… in exchange, how would you like to hear a scandalous story about Prince William?"

Blair laughed and smiled appreciatively up at Louis, "I imagine there must be more than just _one_ scandalous story!"

"Very true!" Louis laughed, "But I'll only spill if you get Chinese take out and agree to dinner in my flat tonight?"

Blair cutely faked pondering his proposal, pursing her lips, before smiling and saying yes.

* * *

After classes the next day, Blair went to ask her French literature teacher about her ideas on the next paper before going home. She pushed the classroom door open without a thought to knocking on it. Glancing into the room, she froze, her brow furrowed.

Mr. Fournier was undoubtedly the most attractive male teacher at Henri IV. He had stunning blue eyes, dressed impeccably well, and had the most beautiful voice. When Blair saw him sitting at his desk, she froze not from his powerful magnetism, but more from the sight of the girl on her knees before him. And not just any girl… it was Marie Girard. His eyes were closed, and neither heard her open the door. He groaned, "Oh god, yes, Marie… like that… I love it when you suck me like that…"

Quickly, quietly, Blair pulled out her phone and took several seconds of video before sliding away. She leaned against the wall opposite the classroom door, smiling as she held her phone, waiting. Marie had yet to expose whatever it was she had learned from Gossip Girl but Blair was about to make sure she never could.

A few minutes later, Marie exited the classroom, smiling as she fluffed her hair. Then her smile dropped as her eyes fell on Blair, who was grinning like a cat, "What ever do you want, _whore_?"

Blair quirked her eyebrow at Marie's choice of insult, "Mmm, I'm a whore?"

Marie narrowed her eyes, "Isn't that what he called you that night, in front of everyone?"

"Perhaps…" Blair flicked her phone open, "But no one ever had hard evidence to prove him right…"

Marie looked at the screen on Blair's phone and gasped.

"Can you imagine, Marie? Our classmates… the teachers… your parents… Mr. Fournier's job?"

Marie's face grew hard, "What do you want?"

"Leave. You will never breathe a word against me, and you will find some other dark corner of Paris to inhabit." Blair's grin was wicked with triumph as Marie's head dropped in defeat.

* * *

Chuck was anxious as he arrived back at the Palace Thursday afternoon. He was already packed and ready to depart in a few short hours. Maurice, the concierge, stopped him before he went up to the suite, "You have a piece of mail, sir."

"Mail?" No one sent Chuck mail. Finances were handled by the family accountant, so whatever would he receive mail for? Accepting the elegant ecru envelope, he felt his heart begin to race. His name and address were written across the front in an elegant flowing script and when he turned it over, there was her name and address. Nodding to Maurice in thanks, Chuck hurried up to his room.

He dropped his bag down without a second thought and rushed to sit on his bed. He cherished the envelope for several long, loving moments; touching it, learning if it smelled like her. He felt light-headed and his hands grew cool in his anxiousness. Opening it, Chuck imagined Blair's mouth on the envelope- though he rather knew better, that she would never lick an envelope. But just the idea made his blood hot.

At last, he freed the card and initially, he could barely focus on the writing, in the excitement that she wrote to him, and it was not some cruel device to return something to him. How naïve he was to think it would not be cruel.

"_Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another."_ ~_Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary_

It was a cold shock. Now, he was even more eager for tomorrow to come.

* * *

Friday evening Blair was blissful once more. She was Queen of Henri IV, her and Louis were great friends, and she was attending a charity performance at l'Opera Garnier. She was happily seated between her father and Roman as they looked down on the stage from their box seats. She held her father's hand as the concert unfolded; feeling beautiful in an ethereal dress made of layers of red material that whirled down from the bodice into a long train. Blair began to look about the theatre as a woman on stage sang Caccini's Ave Maria. Little opera glasses in hand, she spied other people fortunate enough to have box seats. A sweet elderly couple in one box, a garish woman in last season's Valentino, and then… suddenly, the glasses tumbled to her feet, and she squeezed her father's hand.

Chuck only wanted to be near her, to see her; he did not trust himself to speak to her- not yet. She had come without the Prince and he was enjoying the simple pleasure of watching her, unfettered by jealousy. He would find her at intermission and then he would discover how she was and what she was doing with the Prince.

"What is it, Blair?" Her father asked, stroking her hand.

"Chuck…" She whispered. Tears already threatened to spill forth, she could not be here, not even in an opera house full of people knowing _he_ was here.

From across the theatre, Chuck saw Blair stand, exiting the box with great haste. _Shit_. Perhaps he would not be waiting until intermission.

Blair choked back a sob as she fled. Her heels clattered on the marble floor as she ran through the opulent golden hallway, chandeliers casting their warm light on her, the music thrumming throughout the space. The red fabric floated behind her as she flew down the grand staircase, tears streaming freely down her falsely pink cheeks. She was not strong enough to see _him_; she knew that- why! Why was he here?

Chuck came from the shadows and Blair, in her duress, ran straight into him. His arms fell around her, holding her close. He nuzzled his face against the top of her head, she felt so… so perfect. She trembled and sobbed, crying out, "No!"

He lifted her tear stained face with the gentle touch of his fingers. Blair was so beautiful, and it pulled him in. Oh, how he had missed her…

"No…" She whispered, a tear running down as his lips brushed against hers. Every thought and feeling- that flame that burned deep inside her that she had fought to bury, burst into an inferno and spiraled through her body, turning her thoughts to ash.

There was no thinking; they were overwhelmed with what they were feeling as they fled the opera house together, slipping away into the dark of the night in Chuck's limo. They found each other again in those few minutes as Paris passed by the windows. Grabbing, pushing, pulling- had his hotel been much further away, it would have been more than Chuck's fingers seeking the heat to be found under her skirt.

In the elevator, Blair shoved him against the wall kissing him as though she were attempting to make up for all the days since they had last kissed. She needed this, all the dreams she had been having, the way her body craved him, there was no denying her yearning. Yet… _I will not be weak anymore_. Her broken heart was still patched together and she could not allow him anywhere near it tonight. She would allow him access to her body, but it was _just_ sex; she had to be smart about this.

Throwing the door to his room open, he knew they would never make it to the bed. The soft light of the city fell through the ceiling-to-floor windows as he kissed her furiously, pulling her dress open, pushing her towards the sunken living area. Finally freeing her from her dress, Chuck pressed her against the nearest surface- a gleaming black baby grand piano.

Blair was panting, her head swimming as she came to recline against the piano, instantly wrapping her legs around him in search of that delightful friction. Chuck was shifting to push off his jacket and his shirt, which she had already ripped open, just like he had taught her. Grabbing a lapel, she reached inside his jacket, slipping her hand into his breast pocket. Somehow, she knew… this was Chuck Bass, right? Pulling open his wallet, she found the little foil wrapped package.

It was overwhelming, Chuck thought, how he could not stop kissing her. He had already torn her underwear away and now his hands held tight to her corseted torso, groaning as her hips ground against his. He felt her little hand reach inside his jacket before it slipped away from his shoulder to the floor. He heard the crinkle of foil as her hands moved to open his trousers, and he was instantly confused.

"What… are... you… doing… Blair?" he asked breathily between kisses. Suddenly, he threw his head back, moaning as her hand hotly wrapped around his cock.

Blair held the wrapper in her free hand and tore it open with her teeth. The wrapper dropped away, and she felt bitter. She stroked him, the feel of his bare skin against hers. In that moment she hated him; she had to do this because _he_ had changed them.

After the surge of pleasure from her initial touch subsided, his eyes fell back to her, and suddenly he knew what she was doing.

"But we never…" Chuck began to say.

"I can only imagine where… and _what_ you've done since then." Blair's breasts heaved against the corset as she spoke, her eyes sparkling with lust and fury. Her gaze was cruel as she rolled the condom over him.

He was angry. Oh, he was so incredibly angry. He wanted her so badly, and this was such a slap in the face. He never had to before, and in his mind, nothing had changed. She was the only one he wanted to bury himself in. So he grabbed her hips and slammed into her without the slightest warning. He grinned wickedly when her head fell back and she cried out, exposing her pristine white neck to him. He gripped her tighter and dropped his head to sink his teeth into that spot just behind her ear, his mouth sucking hard until he tasted salt and iron. She cried harder- louder, and shook against him and he drove himself into her deeper, again and again.

Blair felt she had fallen to pieces in his arms. She felt complete… it killed her inside, and it made her hate him more. She clawed at his back as she clung to him, her nails breaking skin as hot, angry tears streamed freely from the torrent of conflicting emotions. It was bliss and agony, love and hate, everything she wanted and the one thing she could not have. His touch, the feel of him, branded her anew, and she came, the heat of him rippling through her.

The sound and the feel of her coming made his heart beat even faster. She fell away from him in exhaustion, laying out before him all whiteness wrapped in the darkness of her black corset, her eyes shining at him through a haze of tremendous satisfaction. He dragged her hips towards him, rocking… shaking her against him with violent need until he let out a desperate groan, more powerful than any word that could describe his torment, as he shuddered inside her.

When his tremors subsided, they gazed upon one another; the only sound their panting breaths slowly quieting. Chuck was incredibly careful and gentle pulling out of her- quickly discarding the condom as Blair pushed herself up from the piano. He stood before her once more, and the look on her face was more shy and ashamed than he had ever seen her look in all this time. He pulled her long silky hair aside, and heard her gasp at his touch. She leaned into him as his hand traced down her back, and pulled the long line of hooks and eyes apart, releasing her from the corset.

Looking back at her face, he cupped her cheek as she looked up at him, her eyes large and round, so deep they pulled him out of this slipstream of time. He lifted her into his arms, and carried her to the shower, her arms wrapped around his shoulders, tucking her head under his chin.

The bathroom light was harsh, and Chuck wished this were his suite, for there would be candles. She stepped away from him, tugging on his heart as she moved into the shower. He was still angry… he could feel it throbbing in his veins, but it somehow made him even more vulnerable.

Blair stood under the shower head and turned the water on, cold drops spraying down on her. He had torn her again and she felt in shock, how could he do this- all her cool resolve, all the feelings she had buried with hate, shaken to the surface by his powerful hands, his burning lips. She shook as the water slipped over her skin. What had just happened?

Part of him felt like he should leave her in peace… but her pull was too strong. She looked so small under the water, her back turned to him as she simply stood there. He could not leave her… he wondered if he could ever leave her?

Stepping behind her, his breath caught for a moment as he considered where to put his hands. Grasping her shoulders, he pulled her against him, the water freezing as it splashed over their bodies. "No…" he whispered, reaching out to make the water warmer and pressing his mouth against the cold skin of her back.

She wanted to cry at the feel of him. The water grew warmer, seemingly loosening all her feelings with it. Blair turned towards him at last, and gazed up at the man she… loved… loves?

When his eyes met hers, the eyes that had once sparkled up at him were hollow and empty, and it reached all the way down to his core. He had done that and there was no denying the fact. He lifted his hands and held her face, brushing his thumbs over her soft cheeks. Blair closed her eyes to him and furrowed her brows as if the pain was too much. Tilting her head, he placed the softest kiss on her cheek.

She inhaled sharply at the feel of his lips on her and she felt part of herself fall away. She slipped her arms around his waist and leaned her head against his chest as he pulled her close. Chuck had always felt so… so warm…

Passing his hand over her wet hair, he smiled a tiny bit at the feel of her. She made him feel… so many things. But he frowned at the thought that all he had done was cut her. He whispered in her ear, "Please…"

Blair looked up at him with those wide, hollow eyes again, and it shot through his heart. In penance, he started by washing her, digging his fingers into her hair and rubbing her scalp until she could not help but smile a little bit. He then reverently washed her body, soaping every curve, peak, and plane that he had missed and dreamt of. She was so beautiful and he was incredibly attracted to her. Yet, as he placed chaste kisses across her body, it felt as though his attraction transcended all of that, and those idealistic butterflies began to beat their little wings once more.

Blair was drowning in him. His touch, his kisses- each one built on the last and she could no longer think. His actions, the look of him, it was all working its way towards her heart. No- this was only physical and she could take no more of… what he was doing to her. She shut the water off and grabbed a towel, her naked feet pattering on the floor as she fled the bathroom.

"Blair!" It was desperate as he watched her go. Grabbing a towel, he quickly dried himself a moment before going after her. His feet barely touched the carpet before she was wrapped around him, pulling him to the bed. She had another foil wrapper clutched in her hands.

"Again," she whispered, a plea falling from her lips. She felt him respond, full of ardor, pressing her into the bed. His mouth fused with hers and her blood rushed hot between her legs. He pulled away and kissed down her neck and she whispered _yes_, before lust filled her, passion clouding her eyes, and overrunning all else. She needed to feel him, she wanted to forget it all and lose herself in the pleasure he gave her.

Blair grabbed him, and rolling in the sheets, she pushed him onto his back. He trembled from the look on her face. Chuck had never seen her so in control and the sight only caused his cock to stiffen more. She was incredible. She grinned as she slid between his legs, her tongue suddenly lapping against him- he groaned, his fingers in her hair as his eyes rolled back. "Fuck..."

The feel of him filled her mouth and she pushed further, slipping him deeper. His hips shuddered, and the sound of his groaning, his praise of her, made it so hot and wet between her thighs. She teased and tormented him for several more long delicious minutes. Only when her jaw began to ache did Blair at last sit up, smiling at him as she reached for the condom. But he grabbed her as her fingers curled around the tiny wrapper.

"Not until I know you're wet for me, Blair," he growled. He pushed her down into the bed, slamming two of his longer fingers into her, watching her cry out in pleasure. His heart pounded in his chest a moment, as the thought of how much he missed this… missed her, fluttered across his mind. He worked her hard as he stared at her, mesmerized by her mouth, her breasts- her entire body. The roll of her hips as she writhed, her hands furiously clutching the sheets.

"Please!" She cried, pleading for him.

That made him grin, and pulling his fingers free, he stuck them in his mouth, savoring the heady taste of her. With his free hand, he snatched the condom from her, tearing it open, and sheathing himself quickly. Grabbing her waist, he pulled her up and flipped them so he might lie back and watch her.

Blair greedily straddled him, and locking her eyes with his, she slowly sank down onto him, fighting as her eyes struggled to roll back at the sensation of him filling her… more and more. "Oh… Chuck…" she whimpered.

He let her be, only gently stroking her body with his hands as she ever so slowly began moving over him. Chuck let her use him, as his eyes hungrily roamed over her curves, the play of shadow and light on her body, the expressions on her face as she cried and praised the feel of him inside her.

She felt so hot… he made her feel this fire inside. Through her pleasure she gazed at his face. It was open, and adoring, and her heart ached in her chest. Her eyes locked with his, and suddenly there were tears, was she crying? And the look of concern on his face, it pulled at her, and she pleaded, "Chuck…"

Her hips still moved against him, but he pulled himself up, wrapping his arms around her, holding her close as they moved together. He began to kiss her face, her cheek, and then down, working towards her perfect mouth, "Sshhh…" he implored, "I'm sorry… I'm sorry…"

They kissed, and it was the final massive surge of pressure as their bodies joined, wrapped together, so lost in one another all that was left was the explosive power of a supernova to burn everything away, screaming in their ears, blinding them with light until everything went black.

Chuck roused some time later, staring at the ceiling in absolute bliss. Long minutes passed, loving Blair's little body curled up next to him. He turned towards her, drinking in the sight of her slumbering form. Stroking strands of her long hair away from her face and neck, his heart swelled, and ached. His smile was sad and the words tumbled out of his mouth, "You broke my heart."

He curled his body around her, content to hide in this dream, a magical twist in time, as long as he could hold on to it- on to her.

Blair dared not move, or open her eyes. Sleep weighed heavily on her as she focused on keeping her breathing steady while his words rang in her ears. _You broke my heart_.

The warmth of his body wrapped around her lulled her closer to sleep, his arm keeping her close, his hand holding her hand. She at last succumbed to sleep at the feeling of their broken hearts beating against one another.

* * *

Blair stirred from the deepest sleep she had felt in months. Inhaling deeply, she stretched out. Her body pressed not into cool sheets, but against something warm and soft and she smelled…

Her eyes flew open. Chuck. She was in bed with Chuck. She spent the night with Chuck! Suddenly her brain was whirling with the memories of last night, and she was fully awake. Slowly… calmly… she slipped from the bed, watching his face to see if he would wake. He looked so peaceful, and it tugged at her heart. _No_, she berated the traitorous organ. Quietly, and as quickly as she could, she dressed. Still she watched him and still her heart ached. Before she slipped from his room, she could not help but have one last kiss.

Chuck lazily drifted into consciousness at her soft lips brushing against his. No one kissed him the way Blair kissed him. He lay there, warm and happy, mentally waiting for her to curl up to him, to kiss him more, for this bliss to never end. The soft click of the door sent shockwaves through his delicious dream state. He sat up and looked at the mess of empty sheets next to him, inhaling, he could still smell her; she was here, she had been with him. Tearing the sheets aside, he stormed to the door, nearly pulling it from its hinges. The hallway was desolate. Letting the door swing shut, he turned to the large window that looked down on Paris below.

There she was, bright and beautiful in the morning sun, the red dress flaming out around her as she slipped into a taxi. His hand pressed against the cold windowpane, the chill reaching through his veins, working its way straight to his heart. He had shown how he cared for her last night- he had finally apologized; yet here she was running from him. It crushed him, deflating his hope, leaving him feeling lost and horribly confused.

Despondent, Chuck methodically packed, forgetting what had spurred on his visit, and found himself on the Bass jet heading back to New York. Soft jazz pulsed over the sound system as he watched the amber scotch swirl in its crystal tumbler.

_Ev'ry time we say goodbye,_

_I die a little_

_Ev'ry time we say goodbye,_

_I wonder why a little_

_Why the Gods above me,_

_Who must be in the know_

_Think so little of me,_

_They allow you to go._

A small mirthless laugh escaped as he pondered the timeless lyrics.

_When you're near,_

_There's such an air_

_Of spring about it_

_I can hear a lark somewhere_

_Begin to sing about it_

_There's no love song finer_

_But how strange the change _

_From major to minor_

_Ev'ry time we say goodbye_

His heart ached. He sat back in his seat and closed his eyes, letting the music soothe him. The warmth of the scotch spread through his body, relaxing him. There she was… Blair never really ever left him. He saw her that day in the garden, her eyes wide, the sunlight playing on her beautiful hair. When he spied on her, watched her undress to reveal that first set of lingerie he had bought for her. That first kiss, how it pulled him in- it had been fun, enjoyable, but it had also intoxicated him. Talking in the park… holding her hand. The memories began to hurt, flashing faster. The first time he made her orgasm, when she teased him in the shower, kisses… so many kisses. Scheming to make her happy… laughter… his heart beating in his ears…. Her birthday. When she came to him. Paris. How she felt, holding her in his arms when they danced. _I love you_.

Chuck came out of his repose and held his head in his hands.

* * *

**AN: Title borrowed from the story by Maribells, check it out ^_^**

**More of Georgia's majestic editing on this chapter! **

**Credit to Hayley Westenra's performance of Caccini's Ave Maria, as featured on her album, Odyssey and Natalie Cole, for Ev'ry Time We Say Goodbye from the De-Lovely Soundtrack. **


	22. No One But You

Chapter Twenty-Two:

No One But You

Blair ran to Louis.

"Blair!" Louis pulled the door open, then promptly furrowed his brow, "I think you are a bit overdressed for breakfast," he joked.

"Louis! What have I done?"

He pulled her inside, concerned, and made her sit, "What is it?"

Blair clenched her hands in her lap, staring at them rather than Louis as she spoke, "Chuck… I was with Chuck."

"When? Just now?"

"Just now… last night…" Blair bit her lower lip.

Louis's eyes went wide a moment as he took in her meaning, "Is that all…?"

"Yes… no… maybe?" she struggled to hold on to her thoughts, or understand any of what had passed last night. _You broke my heart._

"How stupid am I?" Blair said, dropping her head into her hands.

Louis shook his head and moved to sit next to her, placing his arm around her shoulders, "Love is not stupid. Fight it all you like, I don't think you would have gone if you were no longer in love with him."

"Don't… don't say that, Louis. That… doesn't matter here." She shook her head, "What do I do now? Oh god, what do I tell my father?" Blair became even more panicked.

"Tell him you were here. I can't imagine he'd be okay with you staying with Chuck. But if I were keeping you safe from Chuck?"

Blair threw her arms around Louis, "You are too good to me."

"I can't help it. You're too interesting." He smiled at her, "I suppose we should try and clean you up a bit before sending you home, and maybe feed you?"

"Please… distract me from thinking more on last night." Her eyes were somber as he directed her out of the room.

"Go, freshen up, and I'll get some breakfast for you. You will need your strength today I think."

She had Louis pull the zipper of her dress down part way for her before closing the bathroom door, alone at last. The sound of the zipper… seeing her reflection in the mirror, Blair wrapped her arms around herself, scared and uncomprehending. She was covered in his touch, his kisses and as she watched the spray of water fall from the shower head, she felt her heart tug, wishing to not wash him away.

These feelings only served to upset her more as she stepped under the deluge. Steam curled around her as she fought the memories of Chuck's fingers in her hair, his hands on her skin, and the look in his eyes. The harder she scrubbed, the more she began to sob. Slowly she sank to the floor, water still falling down upon her as she hid her face in her hands, wondering, _what did I do?_

She had heard of hate sex… and perhaps that is what the evening had started as. Their undeniable attraction leading to them slam into each other with the fury of all the hurt they had caused one another. But that was not how the night had ended, and she could not face the new raw emotions she now felt. Her breath shuddered as she acknowledged what she had seen. Last night, he had been _her_ Chuck.

Suddenly, she felt emotionally exhausted all over again. Yet, she pulled herself from the floor and finished showering. Looking at the long, flowing gown, she sighed and stuck her head out the door, "Louis?"

Louis popped out of the kitchen, "Oui?"

"Do you have something else I might wear? I mean, have you seen the train on this dress?"

Louis chuckled, "I will lend you my pajamas and we can send Jean-Michael to pick you up something while we eat?"

Taking the pajamas from Louis, Blair inwardly sighed slipping the soft silk over her body. They looked so much like a set she knew Chuck owned and it made her pout a little at her reflection. After months, how could she still feel all these things so deeply?

Blair and Louis sat in the kitchen, eating the crepes he had just made. She saw him watching her, though she pretended not to. "Blair…" Louis started.

"These are really good crepes! Who knew princes could cook?" Blair smiled at him.

"Thank you, but you know I won't let this go until you talk to me about what happened. How did you end up going off with him?" Louis's eyes were full of concern.

"When I saw him at the opera, I ran. I had to get out, just knowing he was there. But he was waiting for me before I made it to the door. I was so upset, I ran straight into him… and that was it. In his arms, the sound of his voice… the smell of him… the feel of him…" Blair sighed.

Louis only smiled, "You love him, Blair. You still do."

"No." Blair snapped back from her recollection, "He's cruel, and possessive, and cannot love. He said as much himself, and has certainly proved it. How could I, after _that_ night, and after all this time, still love such a self involved Basshole?"

"Because, Blair," Louis looked hard at her, "He made you happy. You were so happy together, with him, and that happiness? The way he made you feel? Cannot be forgotten so easily, or completely destroyed by a few bad choices. It means too much to you, and so still… you love him for that. For the man you saw he could be."

"But…" Blair slumped in her seat a little, trying to find a way to fight against what Louis was saying.

"No buts. What happened when you left the opera house?" Louis, knowing he had already won, continued eating his crepe.

"We… he… the look on his face." Blair felt her heart drop, "He… even said he was sorry."

"Really?" Louis said between bites, "You said he never apologized, not in his notes, or that day on the bridge."

It all snapped inside, hearing Louis say those things. Chuck had apologized. On the piano, they had had hate sex. But in his bed, they were old lovers reunited, and they had made… love… intense and emotional. Chuck had watched her and cared for her throughout, and when he had kissed her and whispered how sorry he was… Blair's heart swelled at the memory, cracking and breaking the walls she had put up around it.

Jean-Michael returned just then with a new dress for her. She ran to put it on, and Louis smiled at this, asking after her, "Where shall Jean-Michael take you to?"

Time could not move fast enough. Finally, Blair hurried out of Louis's car and back into the hotel she had fled from just over an hour ago. She pounded on Chuck's door, not knowing what she was going to say, only that there were things that needed to be said. There was no answer, and her heart felt as though it had stopped beating. Asking the concierge downstairs, she learned that Mr. Bass had left.

Slowly walking back to the car, she pathetically looked up to Jean-Michael and told him to take her home. _What did I do?_

* * *

It was the day just after Chuck had returned from Paris and Bart had scheduled for them to play squash. His heart was heavy, it ached, and it made him angry. He slammed his racquet against the ball and ran for it so hard, he kept colliding with the wall recklessly. Sweat poured down his face, his lungs burned, but he was still angry.

When Blair had left him without a word that morning, it had hurt him so much. It had felt like the right thing to do at the time- dragging his poor heart home after that. But he was doing it again; thinking of his pain, and not her or her pain. Maybe… if he had stayed, tried to see her again, tried something… different. He could not tell anymore what the right thing to do was. Just that he hurt and he did not know how to make it better.

Bart watched his son as they played. When the match closed, he clapped his hand on the boy's shoulder. "That was quite a performance today."

Chuck bristled. Really? Was his father really going to go there?

"Anything I should know about?" Bart inquired.

Chuck turned and met his fathers ice blue eyes. He was serious. Chuck stared back at his father and thought, _oh, what the hell, why not._ "A girl."

Bart's laugh was deep, like Chuck's own. He had noticed his son had returned to his… previous behavior with women. "Just one girl?"

Chuck sheepishly dropped his head. Bart's hand was still on his shoulder, and he jostled him. Chuck had no idea what to say next.

"Oh… _that _girl? Miss Waldorf has really gotten to you, hasn't she?" Bart spoke as they sat down on a bench. He watched his son nod his head in silent agreement.

"I saw her… in Paris, yesterday. It was…" Chuck shook his head as he stared at the ground, remembering how beautiful she was, how she had felt, and how his heart now ached more than ever before.

Bart could not help but smile at his son, "My, you are growing up."

He looked up at his father, seeing him smiling. It only added to his pain, he had failed Blair in Paris, and in turn, he was failing his father right now.

"Charles, you're my son. Men in the Bass family don't give up on the things they want. We persevere, because we know what is important to us. Watching you these past months… I'm thinking you will not give up on Miss Waldorf."

Patting his son on the shoulder, Bart began to stand, "I have a meeting soon, but… it was a good game, Chuck. Don't forget, we have dinner at Lily's tonight at 8."

Chuck waited, dressed and ready to leave for the Van der Woodsen's on time. Bart was impressed, but said little of consequence. Chuck inwardly was nervous, had Serena talked with Blair? He knew he would find out rather quickly if she had, and wondered if she would hide her ire while in front of their parents?

As Lily greeted them, Chuck watched his father and Lily, suddenly wondering at their friendship. The way they smiled at each other, and flirted. Was his father contemplating a relationship? But Serena disturbed his thoughts.

"Chuck!" Serena was happy to see him… a little _too_ happy.

"Serena, how are you?" Chuck was polite, yet friendly.

"Well enough. Certainly better off than other people." Serena looked at him coolly.

"You are Serena van der Woodsen. I imagine you are far better off than quite a few other people." He tried to soften her with flattery.

Lily cut in at that moment, asking everyone to take a seat at the table.

However, Serena picked right back up where she had left off, "I hear you were at a concert this weekend. Some opera? How did you find it?"

Chuck had to stop himself from sighing. _This, again?_ He thought. "It was quite beautiful. I always forget how opera makes me feel."

"Oh, very true. Though, I was not aware you enjoyed music so much. I always heard that either you love opera, or you do not. One can come to appreciate it, but you will never truly love it. Do you _love_ opera?"

Lily and Bart were having their own conversation, ignoring their children's sparring match. Serena certainly had her claws out tonight, but Chuck fought to stand his ground this time, "I had not expected to ever feel anything exceptional, but I find I enjoy it more than anything else I have ever experienced. Even after all this time, my adoration for opera has not wavered."

Chuck took a long drink watching Serena over the rim of his glass. Her face visibly softened and it made him long to know what Blair had said. They were both quiet for several minutes and Chuck watched his father and Lily together. Trying to forget this was his father he was observing, he realized Bart clearly cared for Lily. The way he leaned towards her- was listening and smiling at her. Suddenly, Chuck began seeing his father in a different light. He might be distant now, but once… his father was a husband… his father had loved.

Too much of an epiphany to fully process, Chuck focused on his meal now that Serena had backed down. He went back to wondering about Blair- what she had told Serena. He thought perhaps he would try asking. "How is she?"

Serena quirked an eyebrow, "You're really going to ask me that? Is your imagination _that_ lacking?"

"She's the one that left me… again, I might add." Chuck looked solemnly down at his plate.

"Well, I don't know what to tell either of you anymore. Not after that!" Serena stabbed the piece of pork on her place, "Just tell me though, are you done with her?"

Was he? Chuck thought back on what his father had said that afternoon; _we persevere, because we know what is important to us._ His heart thumped a little harder in his chest as he remembered Blair. Not the Blair from yesterday, but how she had been- how they had been in the beginning. How she would smile at him, and that day in the park when he first held her hand. He looked up and gazed into Serena's cool blue eyes, "Is she home, Serena? Is she in my arms, smiling at me? Until those things are fact, then no, I am not done. Especially after _that_."

* * *

Chuck worked to continue his duplicity. He began to diligently read the papers, his grades were rising- though he was still dismissive in class, and he continued to send Blair peonies, every Monday, with a handwritten note.

"_Happiness is the longing for repetition."_~ _Milan Kundera_

At night, he would lie in bed with a picture of her or look at the latest PI report. She seemed to be doing well at her new school, and she was still being seen with the Prince. Raking a hand through his hair, he cursed himself for never asking Blair about… that. Serena would not talk to him about it, and in all the photos, she just looked… happy, on the Prince's arm. When he slept he saw her… he felt her, those eyes, those lips- she tormented him.

He had planned an even bigger, more outrageous party for that weekend, hoping to distract himself from his failure the week before. He read the latest PI report before getting ready to head out. He knew it would hurt, but the temptation was too much as he gazed at the latest photos of Blair. She was beautiful, smiling up at him from the page. He stared a few moments before inhaling a shuddering breath and shoving the whole thing away. He wanted to be with her, so much… Shaking his head, he walked toward the bathroom in search of a refreshing shower.

However, she followed him. Standing in the shower, his memories reached back. Once upon a time… she had run _to_ him, not from him. He had held her, made her smile… and laugh. And she had stood right there… Even feeling crushed inside, recalling the image of her naked body, soaking wet, standing there, Chuck became incredibly aroused. He reached out and placed his hand on the glass, where her hand had been that day, and remembered the flush of her cheeks, the water running down her back and shoulders, slipping and dripping off her breasts.

It was in his raw desire for her that his hand wrapped around his cock; wishing it was her tightness surrounding him. He thought of her crying out when she came for him, in this very spot, making him even harder as he stroked himself. But oh, if that had only been all, and he groaned as the memory of the night he first took her surfaced. He had tried to comfort her, and instead... _Look what you do to me. _It was the fourth time he had taken her in… less than twelve hours. He jerked himself even harder with that thought.

His head spun as blood pounded in his ears; he should have known then. He should have known that how he felt with her was special. The touch of his skin against hers, even just being in the same room… oh god, and how he had coupled with her that fourth time; it was so raw- how he had needed to possess her, the heat, the power, how he had poured himself into her. There was a delicious rush of blood to his cock_, That… was what you do to me. _

His voice cracked as he groaned, his legs trembling as he came. His mind was white with the haze of hormones and adrenaline, and it spun fast. The last time he stood in the shower with her. Cold. Broken. Empty. He had tried. He had… and she had cried. He saw her tears… streaming down her beautiful face. He gasped, half crying out in pain as his come surged from his body. He had hurt her so badly… his legs shook, slowly giving out beneath him. His hand slid down the glass as his body gave out and he met the floor.

The water rained down on him as he laid there, his eyes unseeing as he stared at the fogged up glass. He registered nothing for those several minutes. Just saw in his mind all her pain… at the dance, when she had sung, on the bridge, that night she had spent with him. Oh, and how she had run… from the school… from the bridge… from his arms. It consumed him, as he knew it had her, and his blood roared through his body once more. He needed to escape this, before it swallowed him whole.

So that night he fought to run from her. He drowned her out with liquor, tried to wipe her from his mind with drugs, and buried himself in the arms of other women. When he went upstairs to fully enjoy tonight's company however… something happened.

Or more correctly, something did _not_ happen. He saw Blair's anger as he fucked her on the piano, her sorrow as she stood naked under the freezing water, and her tears as she sought to feel him inside of her. His heart cracked and bled and his body refused to cooperate, give him sensation, satisfaction, or relief.

There was an endless stream of women that night, and the weeks that followed, with whom he sought refuge and release. While impressive from the outside, every one of them had been paid extra to smile and keep their mouths shut. Chuck Bass… was broken. Fuck.

Serena found Chuck at Gilt Bar the first night of spring break. She was leaving to travel with Georgina through the end of March, and thought it prudent to check on him and his possible plans. She slid into the seat next to him, "Hey, Chuck."

"Come to torment and berate me?" he asked before drinking his scotch in one long go.

"Or to visit? Drown our sorrow together over our mutual loss?" Serena swirled the cosmopolitan that just arrived.

"Mutual loss?" Chuck let out a cruel laugh, "She talks to you. You're still friends. She still… cares about you."

"So?" Serena bit out, "So what? It is a small consolation when we have an entire ocean between us. She's like a sister to me and life sucks without her here. I hang out with Georgina Sparks or… _you_."

After that, they quietly drank for a time, drinking more… and more. They started talking about silly things; exploits from school, infamous social guffaws, and then Serena told some funny stories of her drunken escapades.

Chuck laughed and through his drunken depressed state he finally said it out loud. "I'm broken."

"What ever do you mean by that?" Serena downed the end of another cosmopolitan.

"I'm Chuck Bass," he drawled, "What is he known for?"

"Drinking, partying, and screwing whatever short skirt strikes his fancy," she rattled off the list.

"Yup. Maybe before my last visit to Paris." Chuck stared at his scotch and cruelly wondered which visit to Paris had truly broken him?

"Before Paris?" Serena glared at the fresh cosmopolitan in front of her like it was going to tell her the answer, "Well, you still drink… check… and party… check… and…"

She turned her head not really able to believe it. Blair had only alluded to _what_ had happened between her and Chuck that weekend, "No."

"Totally broken. I've tried everything… and I mean everything." Admitting this, Chuck downed his fresh glass of scotch.

"Well…" Serena found this all a bit incredulous, yet, also saw some odd justice in it, "Only seems fair to me."

"Fair?" Chuck stared at her, "You're going to have to elaborate on that."

"You never saw her, Chuck. Her face… even weeks later, at Christmas; god… when she shoved that Cartier box in my hands…" Serena shook her head and in turn, her long mane of blonde hair.

"What?" Chuck latched onto her last few words, suddenly very alert, "What box?"

Her blue eyes grew wide as she realized what she had said… and to whom. His soft brown eyes were coal black as he stared at her, hard, and unyielding. His gaze trapped her, and she could not look away from him. He was every bit a Bass at this moment, immense power radiating from him.

"Tell me, Serena."

The intensity on his face was frightening, and his look forced the words from her, "That… box… she could not leave it," Serena swallowed hard, "But in the end, she could not handle it… so she entrusted me with it." Her mouth was dry and the words felt like sand as she choked them out.

He was angry; his blood boiled. He had reconciled himself to believe the necklace was in the family safe, while secretly, he hoped she had it tucked away in her bedroom in France. But now, to know she had chosen to take it with her… and then rejected it. This made his heart ache all over again. Yet to give it to Serena to safeguard… meant she wanted to keep it. She was not intending to return it to him- to send it back, and cut him even more.

He stared coolly at Blair's best friend for several moments before he completely shut down. This new information stirred so many emotions in him. Pushing his seat away, Chuck went back to his suite without another word. He lay down with a bottle of scotch and the photo of her from Thanksgiving, his necklace sparkling up at him, like her eyes. He gazed at her until his eyelids grew too heavy and he passed out.

* * *

After her elation and subsequent let down, Blair threw herself into her classes, before the long Easter break in April. Her new position of Queen was satisfying, and she used it to feel in control and find relief from the anguish in her heart. It was refreshing that no one could question her, since alone in her room, her heart questioned her constantly.

Blair should have known things were going too well, however. Her plans for the two weeks of Easter break were to visit Monaco with Louis. That is until Aileen sneezed on her at lunch on the very last day of classes. "That… was disgusting; didn't anyone teach you to cover your mouth?"

"I'm so sorry, Blair!" Aileen cowered, sniveling from her now runny nose.

"Move to another table, before you contaminate any of us further." She dismissed the disease-ridden girl.

That one sneeze ruined it all. Blair awoke the next morning feeling miserable. When she did not make it down to breakfast, her father came to check on her. She squinted at him as he entered her room, "Papa…"

"Oh, my Blair-Bear." Harold felt her forehead and inquired, "Are you feeling hot or cold?"

"Cold… and I ache, and my throat…" Blair stared up at her father as she pulled her covers tighter to her body.

"No Monaco for you I'm afraid. Just bed rest and fluids until this cold passes." Harold stood to go and prepare some tea and honey for her.

"But Papa…" Blair winced at how scratchy her throat was.

Harold only smiled at his daughter, shaking his head before heading down to the kitchen.

The cold hit Blair hard; she felt miserable when awake, congested, sore, and eating little. When she slept, it was fitful and as the days passed, her dreams of the holiday she was not to have with Louis in Monaco, strolling through the gardens twisted into memories of walking in Central Park, holding Chuck's warm hand. She felt helpless in her frail, weakened state and could not fight against the memories of him, so instead she soaked up the happiness. _He made you happy_.

One particularly rough evening, Roman brought up a light supper for her. Blair could hardly look at it, but there was something she had thought of retrieving, if only her head did not ache so badly.

"Roman, would you get something from that drawer for me?" Blair pointed to a deep drawer in her desk.

Opening the indicated drawer, Roman hesitated, seeing what lay inside. He looked up at her, but her eyes were insistent. He lifted the globe from its hiding place and sat it on the nightstand for her. Blair thanked him and he gave her a careful look. She seemed much too fragile to want to do such a thing to herself. Yet, she reached out and turned the key. Music poured forth and the couple waltzed in their perfect bubble. Her eyes were dreamy as she watched them, and Roman left her to her thoughts.

Blair's mind reveled in the way she felt that night. _I love you_. She had meant it, with all her heart, and four months later? She played back the memory of that stolen night in Paris with him. The way he had looked at her and touched her. Her heart ached and she suddenly missed him so much. Before sense could catch up with her, she was holding her phone and calling him; her eyes still transfixed on miniature Chuck and Blair dancing.

"This is Chuck Bass, and clearly, I have more important things to do than talk to you right now."

She smiled at the sound of his voice as it reverberated in her ears. Slipping it from her ear, she whispered, "Oh, Chuck…" as she set it down next to the globe, wholly forgetting to press the end button. Fatigue was setting in again, mingling with the nighttime medication she had taken. Turning over in her bed, she slipped away into her dreams.

* * *

Chuck was trying to relax with an afternoon massage. He did not see her call until a couple hours later. He thought he must have been hallucinating when he saw her name on the screen. Yet when he heard her voice, and the sound of the music coming from his globe, his heart ached and all he wanted was to talk to her, and know she was okay. Quickly saving the message, he tried to call her back, regardless of the hour. No answer. He tried several more times through the evening to no avail, always hanging up the second her phone went to voice mail; his frustration building each time he failed to talk to her. Why had she called him? He could not process a reason or meaning behind it. Exhaustion began to overtake him, and he resolved to leave a voice message, before passing out.

"Vous êtes bien sur le répondeur de Blair Waldorf, laissez un message après le bip."

His heart raced at the sound of her voice, yet ached all the same at the French that rolled seamlessly off her tongue, reminding him she was in Paris. "Blair… please, why did you…"

His brain stopped there. Why did she what? Write him that note? Leave him that morning? Call him tonight? He simply sighed and hit end, allowing sleep to claim him and pull him away from his sad reality.

* * *

Blair neglected her phone for the next several days as she slowly began feeling better. Set on finally having a chance to talk to Serena, the color left her face when she saw Chuck's half a dozen calls before then listening to his voice message. She was horrified; she thought that calling him had been a dream. Knowing she could not talk to him, for how could she explain herself? Blair pulled out her stationery.

_Chuck,_

_Please forgive my momentary lapse of judgment during severe illness. I am a true Parisian now that I have survived their strain of the common cold. What we once had together will always be special to me, but I will not forget again that our time together is in the past._

_Blair Waldorf_

Signed and sealed, she stared at the letter before tucking it away. It felt cruel, and part of her knew it was a half-truth. She could not bring herself to post it, not right now.

* * *

Chuck suffered in silence, Serena's only mention of Blair being that she had been sick during her spring holiday. How that should cause her to call him however, he had no clue. So his existence continued, pushing this question aside as best he could.

A few weeks after classes resumed, Blair and Louis, with some of his friends, went to Queen Club. The venue played a mix of electronica, with its thumping beats and ethereal lyrics. They drank and danced for hours, laughing and relaxing together. Exhaustion had begun to set in when the track changed and everyone swayed to a different tempo, raising their hands to move with the instrumentation. However, listening to the song, Blair suddenly felt dizzy, her ears ringing as she grasped Louis, so she would not fall.

_There is no choice I belong to your life, because I will live to love you some day._

The memory flashed bright and brilliant: _and you, Chuck Bass, will love me… some day. Some… day. _Louis took her outside, and the cool air blasted her face with the naivety of the memory of her former self. _Love… I love you. _Saying she just must be tired, Blair headed home, angry at remembering their game, and the little girl she was when she had agreed to play. In her room, she retrieved the letter she had hesitated to send and placed it in the post. _Our time together is in the past._

Less than two weeks until his birthday, Chuck was on the phone finalizing details for his most over the top party yet. Entering the hotel lobby, Maurice handed him a letter. Keeping his cool, he finished the call and waited until he was alone in his room. He revered it for several long moments like he had her first letter. But this note cut him deeply as he read it _in the past_? He was fighting for a place in her future, yet she was trying to relegate him to being part of her past? He had to try something different.

* * *

Blair entered her room Monday, expecting the usual display of pink peonies on her desk. When they were not there, she swayed a little in her Louboutins in confusion, as her Vanessa Bruno tote slipped from her shoulder to the floor with a gratuitous thud. Had her letter finally broken him? She felt odd at the thought- she wondered why she was not happy?

However, her eyes spotted a brown and white stripped box on her bed, a beautiful ribbon of brown with white polka dots urging her to unwrap it and see what treat had traveled across the ocean from Henri Bendel's just for her. Her heart fluttered a little, and she ached, thinking he had picked its contents just for her.

Gathering her strength, she opened his note first.

_The symbol of a true Parisian woman._

_Now you will embody the best of New York and Paris._

_xx_

Blair felt the textured ribbon between her fingers as she released the bow. Lifting the lid, she trembled from the memory of the first Bendel's he had given her- the long sheer white robe hanging in her closet in New York. Inside lay a pretty silk scarf in one of Bendel's iconic prints. She smiled at his wit and care, imagining him in Bendel's, thoughtfully selecting the scarf that she now caressed with her fingers. She sighed; there was that heartache again. She wondered if it would ever go away?

* * *

**AN: Story title borrowed from Chair4vr's fic where Chuck 'breaks' also, hehe. **

**I am an endless font of love to Georgia, greatest editor EVER. Hugs and kisses and exasperated shaking of my head to Alyssa, my cheerleader and Alicia, for reminding me you can never have enough smut :p**

**Song credit: Gigi D'Agostino's L'Amour Toujours, of which, obviously, the story title is borrowed from. YouTube code: watch?v=w15oWDh02K4**


	23. Longing For Hope

Chapter Twenty-Three:

Longing For Hope

Blair had trouble rebuilding the walls around her heart that Chuck had knocked down the night he had visited her. Her slip up while she was ill was evidence of that. When she woke up the next morning, she was drawn to the scarf. Her mind put up no fight when she tied it around her neck after dressing. It was a lovely spring day and Blair felt strong and confident as the wind tugged at the scarf.

At lunch, Emilie noticed the scarf, recognizing it was not something from the shops in Paris. "Blair, that scarf is so beautiful... is that from Bendel's?"

"Maybe." Blair smiled and adjusted the scarf, "A friend sent it to me."

"You know..." Emilie smiled back at her, "If you wear a scarf a boy gives you, it means you are his."

Keeping a cool face, Blair gave a noncommittal reply. She dismissed the butterflies that were fluttering and held her feelings at arms length. The scarf was only a gift- it was sweet of Chuck, but... she accepted that all they had together was now history.

After classes, she was in no hurry to return home and wanted to enjoy the weather. She made the short walk to the Panthéon and sat on the steps, watching the intermingling of students from the lycée and universities with tourists trying to take it all in. She lifted her head up to the sky and felt the sun on her face. She suddenly missed her best friend, and though the Panthéon was beautiful, it certainly was not the Met steps. She pulled a sheet of paper from her bag and began to write to Serena.

_Dear S,_

_Right now, I am sitting on the steps of the Panthéon. Though beautiful, I cannot help but think how they pale in comparison to the Met steps, and sitting with my best friend. I do not mean to sound morose; I am doing well here in Paris. But there are times when I miss New York, and times when I especially miss you. _

_Chuck sent me a beautiful scarf from Bendel's yesterday, in lieu of the usual peonies. I could not help but wear it today. He wrote how now I would embody the best of New York and Paris. After that night at the opera- after what I did when I was ill, I cannot seem to get back the numbness I used to feel towards him. I am not as angry or as hurt as I used to be, and when I think of how we had once been, I smile at the warmth of the memories. My feelings for him have never been a lie, and I think I may be at peace with that now._

_I cannot wait for classes to end so we can be together once more. I can just be Blair Waldorf from Manhattan, and not the Queen of Henri IV or that girl on Prince Louis's arm. _

_Love, B_

* * *

Serena knocked on the door of suite 1812 Saturday evening. The door opened and she smiled, "Happy birthday, Chuck!"

She breezed into the suite, and plopped down at the bar, carelessly dropping her handbag on the ground. The gift in her hands she set on the countertop.

"Hey, Serena. What are you doing here? Aren't you coming to my party later?" Chuck asked.

"Aren't you going to offer a girl a drink?" Serena beamed at him and he moved to the bar to mix a drink for her, and pour a scotch for himself.

"You still didn't answer my question." He pushed a dirty martini towards the blonde.

"I just…" Serena thought on Blair's letter, juxtaposing it with the last time their families had dinner- what Chuck had said, and the sad state between Chuck and her best friend "I don't think I'm really up to partying tonight." She paused, knowing she could not watch him play at being that other person, but then smiled again, "However, I still want to toast to your 16th birthday!"

They clinked their glasses together and drank for a few moments before Serena pushed the gift towards him, "For the birthday boy!"

Chuck gave her a questioning look and Serena replied, "I promise, it's something you'll like."

He pulled open the box, noting it was from J Press, and pulling back the tissue paper, he discovered a blue, red, and white patchwork silk scarf. It was a bit bold, but very sharp, and he smiled as he draped it over his shoulders, "Thank you, Serena."

"Don't thank me yet…" Serena hopped down from her seat, haphazardly picking her bag up from the floor. "Last year, Blair dragged me to J Press with her so we could find something for Harold's birthday. Meticulously combing through the store- you know the way she does, this scarf caught her eye. I commented on it, and," she paused for dramatic effect, "Blair said she always imagined dating the kind of guy that would wear a scarf like this."

She hugged him before exiting, tugging on the scarf with a smile before she turned towards the door. Chuck watched her go, at a complete loss for words. Had Serena, Blair's best friend, who was always fervently protective, given him a sign of approval?

It was too much and Chuck poured himself a second helping of scotch before walking toward the sofa. His eyes caught on an envelope on the floor. Picking it up, he saw that it was addressed to Serena. He assumed that it must have fallen out of her bag, and then… he recognized the handwriting. Turning it over, he felt his chest tighten as he read the return address. It was indeed a letter from Blair. He held it in his hands for a few minutes as he sat on the sofa, just staring at it. It was not meant for him, yet…

He pulled the envelope open, unfolding the letter, and hungrily read it over. Its contents made him giddy and he had to reread it several times. She had written it while wearing the scarf he had sent her? His heart swelled with happiness at that alone. But then she wrote of her feelings for him, the thought that Blair had softened towards him so much… and then how she closed the letter. The letter was for Serena, he knew that, but the way she wrote the ending- could she mean her and Serena could be together again or… maybe, him and her? It was unclear- she had just been writing about her feelings for him. He felt lightheaded at the prospect of finally having her back.

There was a pounding on his door, shaking him back to reality. Opening it, Nate mauled him in a man hug. "Happy birthday, man! Ready to head out? Oh, and nice scarf."

* * *

Chuck was officially sixteen. Surrounded by people in his den of iniquity, he did not care. It all meant nothing; Blair was not here. All he wanted, needed, was to see her. The drugs and alcohol could wipe her away, but only for a short time. Then he was back to thinking about that letter, about her… He was desperate and determined, he would find her, and then he could feel alive once more. Leaving his own party, he sought out Serena.

He met her at the Oak Bar, "I'm going to Paris. Tell me where to find her."

Serena looked up at him from her drink. He looked awful, but she recalled that visiting Paris never turned out well, "Chuck, she won't see you. I don't know why you think you can just show up the way you…"

Chuck interrupted; the drugs he had taken causing him to act out as he slammed his fist on the counter of the bar, "Fuck Serena! I just…"

Serena watched his fury wane, Chuck Bass crumbling into Chuck, a boy who needed her best friend. "Her school has a concert tomorrow, you can see her there, she's singing. Do _not_ screw it up, or I swear, Chuck. You will never pleasure anyone again, and… yeah, you can imagine the rest."

Chuck shuddered from the image of what Serena was implying. She may approve of him now, but Blair came first. After all, he still had not won her back yet. He nodded in agreement before departing. He would have to pack quickly.

* * *

Louis escorted Blair to the stage entrance; he smiled at her, "You will do wonderfully, Blair."

"I just…" she smoothed her gown, inhaling, "I think that little things, like this, help me move forward and away from what I feel for Chuck. And maybe… maybe someday, I will lose him altogether?" Blair bit her lower lip, hoping the strange logic made sense. She wanted it to, though deep down, she knew better.

He reached out and squeezed her hand, "Until then, you have your family, no? And me, and all your friends."

She gave him a weak little smile and turned to enter the staging area. Blair focused on warming up and on the music. She tried to not think of Chuck… and the day she left New York.

Chuck found a dark corner to stand in; he dared not risk her seeing him at all. Right now it was enough to watch her. He knew a little how it would feel to be seeing her again. The rush of feelings… it would be good to have a few minutes to collect himself first.

When Louis entered the auditorium, he saw Chuck standing out of the way, observing the room. He knew it was Chuck, he recognized him from the photo Blair had of them together. Thinking back on Blair's sadness after Chuck had left, Louis became instantly protective. There was only one reason Chuck would be here and Louis did not want to pick up his mess again. Taking his seat with Harold and Roman, he focused his mind on how he could keep Blair away from Chuck.

Chuck's breath caught in his lungs when he finally saw her again. His memories never did her beauty justice. It was like coming into the sun after so much darkness and the little butterflies in him rejoiced.

The waves of music began, and when she began to sing, it was like a shot through his heart. Puccini… _When we fall in love, we hear Puccini in our heads._ Why? Why was she singing Puccini? His heart instantly shattered at the thought that she might be in love with someone else- with her Prince. He recalled her letter again: _that girl on Prince Louis's arm _and how her feelings for him had changed- _I think I may be at peace with that now. _He watched her then, completely heartbroken and reverently loving the image of her with unbearable regret.

Blair's face was sweet and sad; she was imagining she was in the opera, that she could be Lauretta, feeling her love, her hope, and her torment as she sang.

_O mio babbino caro/ Oh my dear papa,_

_mi piace, è bello, bello./ I love him, he is handsome, handsome._

_I love him… _she thought of Chuck smiling at her and her heart skipped a little, before dropping in acknowledgement that she still loved him… so much. Her voice climbed the aria with so much emotion. She could see herself standing before him again that night of the ball, his words, the image of him, tore through her anew mixing with the pain and confusion she felt from that night after the opera.

_Mi struggo e mi tormento!/ I am anguished and tormented!_

_O Dio, vorrei morir!/ Oh God, I'd like to die!_

After several more bars, the aria ended, and Blair held herself together long enough to make it off the stage. Practicing the song had never bothered her so much, but performing it today had taken a toll on her. She missed him, she missed him so much, and it was weighing on her. In her mind, she knew no reason to feel so weak- she knew she was amazing- incredible even, but her heart… her heart lay on the other side of the ocean.

Louis found Blair slumped against a wall in the hallway, despondent. He was relieved he had found her before Chuck had, as Louis had lost sight of him. "Blair…" She tumbled into his arms and he held her. He stroked her hair as she trembled against him. He saw Chuck out of the corner of his eye, and it occurred to him; a way to send Chuck packing.

Chuck turned from a long hallway and suddenly, he found her- in another man's arms. If the thought of her with someone else had shattered his heart, he knew not how to describe this new feeling. His eyes were hot as he watched them, and then, time slowed. He recognized the Prince as he tipped Blair's face up to his and kissed her so tenderly. Chuck turned on his heels instantly and fled, hurt and anger pulsing through him. Why had he thought she would cling to her love for him? He was such a fool.

Blair felt Louis's lips on hers and the tears and pain she had been trying to keep inside burst. She sobbed, "Chuck…" and turned her head away from him, tears streaming freely down her cheeks.

"Blair, I'm sorry, I just…"

She pulled away from him, and left to get some air, to try and gather her composure, as she brushed the tears away. Turning down the long hallway, she caught sight of a beautifully dressed gentleman exiting. He wore a scarf she recalled admiring at J Press, and then took in his dark brown hair, and that confident gait… she felt something flutter in her chest, _Chuck?_ Her father and Roman exited the auditorium just then, pulling her into hugs and congratulating her. Had she simply imagined seeing him?

* * *

Later on, Louis apologized to Blair. His actions made her face that even after all this time; Chuck still beat in her heart, as strongly as the day she had realized she loved him. _Chuck_… she thought back on what she had perhaps seen, and wondered, "Louis, why did you do it?"

"Well…" Louis was a little flustered, "Your singing was so beautiful, and you were so upset, I wanted to comfort you…"

But something about his body language, and the way he spoke told her it was only a half-truth, "And you wanted to protect me from Chuck?"

Louis dropped his head in acknowledgement of the whole truth, "I know how sad you still are. I see you struggle with how you feel and I didn't want him to hurt you anymore than he already has, Blair."

She ached at his admission; she thought perhaps she had imagined him. But it _was_ Chuck. She felt a mix of anger, sadness, and a little bit of hope knowing he had come to see her. Yet, her rational mind also understood why Louis had kissed her; he was protective and fiercely loyal. Blair sighed, "I understand, Louis… but you don't know why he came. What if something happened? What if he needed me?"

"What if he loves you?" Louis gave her a small half smile. After she had last seen Chuck, he saw how hard she was trying to move on. But, looking at her now, and how she cared, and worried for him? He knew someone had to say what she would not.

* * *

Chuck was enraged. He started drinking the moment he stepped onto the jet. The image he saw tore at his heart, the sound of her beautiful voice…he could not drink fast enough to blur the memory, so he drank until he passed out. His debauchery made him late to school the next day; he had slept in, and it took him several hours to pull himself together again. At lunch, he had nothing but coffee and he groaned as Serena approached him.

"So, how'd it go, Romeo?" she twittered.

"Well, you won't be castrating me," he offered.

"What do you mean?" Serena furrowed her brow in confusion.

"She destroyed me without even a word… or a look in my direction." Chuck took a long drink, letting the scalding acrid liquid burn down his throat.

"How… is that possible?" she asked, still quite baffled.

"I saw her…" Chuck nodded his head, a bitter expression on his face, "In the arms of Prince Louis… they were…" But his throat seized and closed up as the image burned hot in his mind.

Serena saw the tension in his face, his jaw muscles flexing, and his labored breathing. She was confused. Blair had never mentioned feeling anything more than friendship for the Prince? Had that changed? If it had… maybe Blair would never come home?

So she focused on Chuck, "Stop it."

Chuck lifted his dark eyes to stare into Serena's blue ones. She was adamant and he held on to that.

"I can't tell you what you saw, but why does it matter? School will be out soon, and a few weeks later Blair will be here to visit me. You can't give up now, Chuck. If you weren't serious about her after all this time, then you would not have gone after her, and you wouldn't be this hurt and upset right now. You told me you weren't done with her- not until she was home, and in your arms. You sure as hell better prove to be right about that." Serena finished, and walked back to sitting with Kati, Iz, and Penelope.

He took a deep breath and opened his notebook. There she was, smiling up at him. Raking a hand through his hair, he thought of Serena's words and contemplated, _what in the world was wrong with him_?

Returning home that afternoon, he pulled open the drawer where he kept the PI reports on Blair. He reviewed the photos of Blair and the Prince together, unable to find anything beyond them walking arm in arm and the pleasant smiles on their faces. No hugs, no kisses, no chemistry… this soothed his fury, as he looked at other photos of her. He lost himself looking at her and sighed. Serena was right. He was not done with her- he was not ready to give up.

So he hefted his textbooks from his bag and went back to work. Just three more weeks, then, he could focus all of his attention on Blair. He would do it right this time.

* * *

The week finals began at Constance-St. Jude's, Bart and Chuck had dinner with the van der Woodsen's once more. Chuck noticed his father was acting… odd. Cool, yet, there was something else, too. He could not decipher it before they reached the van der Woodsen's penthouse. Lily was especially radiant and she gave him the sweetest hug. It made him smile a moment before he said hello to Serena.

Sitting at the table, it was all polite conversation and Lily asked if Chuck was ready for finals. He simply shrugged, acting indifferent, "As ready as I'll ever be."

Serena, in her mischievous ways, just smiled at him, "I just think he's ready for summer to start."

Chuck narrowed his eyes at her, and Lily went along with it, "Oh, do you have special plans this summer, Charles?"

Serena was grinning like a cat from across the table, and he coolly replied, "Just hoping to see an old friend that moved away."

It twisted in his stomach to call her what he had so long ago, and he saw Serena's eyes grow sad at having to remember Blair had left her. It all hung heavily on him in that moment, and he and Serena were solemn at the table. Unbeknownst to the children, Bart had filled Lily in on Chuck and Blair, and they looked at one another then, thinking on how sweet Chuck and Serena were in their sadness.

"Come now, it's a family dinner you two, no moping over your plates," Lily tittered.

Chuck and Serena eyed each other at that comment for a moment, _family dinner_? then looked at their respective parent. That's when Bart cleared his throat. "Both Lily and I hope we might have your permission to wed."

Dead silence.

Serena and Chuck were staring at each other with wide eyes. When had _that_ happened? They were going to be… a family?

"We spoke with Eric earlier on the phone and he has already said yes," Lily chimed in after the silence began to grow uncomfortable, "Charles, what do you say?"

Lily gave him a sweet smile, her eyes asking him to give her a chance- a chance at being a mother to him. He would have a family. His body tingled with excitement. He knew it would never be Thanksgiving in Paris… but this- this would be _his_. The hint of a smile tugged at his mouth, and he tilted his head a little, "I'm game if you are."

Bart turned to Serena, "Serena?"

She fidgeted a moment in her chair. She had to admit Bart Bass was certainly different from the other men her mother had married over the years. But she had never inherited any siblings from those unions. Chuck Bass would be her stepbrother. She glanced up at Chuck, and thought of how he was changing- how he felt about Blair. Recalling that weekend Chuck had stayed last fall; she remembered it had not been awful… even a little nice. So she turned to Bart, her smile beaming, "It would be nice to have some men in the house."

Chuck grinned, "Aw, you don't really mean that, do you, sis?"

Serena gave him a cool look, "Did I say men? I meant a man… and a boy." At that, she quirked her eyebrow and smirked a little.

Suddenly, Lily was laughing, followed by a deep chuckle from Bart. The children looked at their parents, and after a moment, just smiled. There was an overwhelming sense of completion as they all sat around the table, as a family.

After finals passed, Chuck was preparing for a celebratory smoke with Nathaniel that Friday night. Part of him wondered how he had done it, yet then, he thought of Blair, and all he had accomplished did not seem so hard. His phone began to ring and he pulled it from his pocket. It was his father. He answered it, and within a few moments he was running out the door.

* * *

Back in Paris, the friendship between Blair and Louis had been strained for a several weeks after the concert, but he continued to visit or pick Blair up so they could go out together. It took time, and control, but Blair had managed to keep herself together, focusing on school work and activities, and promising herself she could think about her feelings more after finals. Perhaps when she saw him this summer, no one would remember what had passed before, and she would feel nothing for Chuck?

It was summer at last now, the middle of June. Classes were winding down at Henri IV and she was ready to take on her final exams. She arrived home late Friday evening after going out with Louis and his friends. She was laughing with Louis when she noticed that her father was waiting for her in the foyer. He looked distressed and a little pale, "Papa, what is it?"

"I just had a call from New York… from Serena's mother."

Blair felt the blood drain from her face, and she grasped Louis's arm in anticipation.

"There's been an accident."

* * *

**AN: Title taken from Longing for Hope, by Nyuh-Cullen**

**As always, all my love to Georgia for putting up with my madness on this chapter, lol, and Noirreigne for helping patch up the last few edits! Thank you!**


	24. The Fire Below

Chapter Twenty-Four:

The Fire Below

In a few short hours, Blair was on Louis's private jet in the dark of night, heading for New York. He held her hand, as a reassurance that everything would be okay. Looking out at the black sky, Blair knew she should be sleeping, but anxiety built inside of her with every mile that took them closer to the city. Her thoughts were fractured; fear gripped her heart, she hoped that the accident was not horrible. There had been no details before she departed from Paris, the doctors were still performing test.

Blair turned away from Louis and tried to sleep in her seat; she knew she needed her strength. But behind closed eyelids, she saw Chuck. Was she strong enough? He would hear she was home, but after everything, she did not know what to expect from him: anger, sadness, indifference… happiness? Tired and frustrated, Blair shifted in her seat again; annoyed that she was even thinking of him. She focused her thoughts on being there for Serena and Blair realized then that she was not the same girl who left this island all those months ago.

* * *

The next morning, Chuck entered the hospital room and immediately froze. Blair was sitting at Serena's bedside- with Louis. Rage exploded inside of him.

"What is _he_ doing here?" Vitriol dripped in his voice, his face twisted with disgust. To see Blair was one thing, but to have to face her with the Prince at her side; he could not control himself.

"Chuck, stop it. Without Louis, I could not have gotten here so quickly. We are here for Serena, so, shut up or get out." Her words were strong and solid, her face clear and unyielding against his anger.

Serena was awake, and she looked at him, giving him a weak smile. Blair's strength and candor was like nothing he had experienced before. She was always gentle with him or playful, but never had he seen her radiate such power. But he could not quell the riot of feelings inside of him.

"I'll perhaps get some… air." Chuck stormed off.

Serena turned to look back at her friend; exhaustion on her bruised and cut face, "Louis, may I speak with Blair for a few minutes?"

"Of course." He stood, giving the girls a small smile as he departed.

"Oh, S!" Blair hugged her friend's arm, afraid to truly touch her.

"I'll be fine, B. It wasn't such a bad car accident. I'll be home in a few days, and before you know it, we'll be at Bergdorf's together again! But you should know…" Serena waited for Blair to look at her, only then did she continue, "Chuck…"

"Serena, this isn't the time for talking about Chuck, you're hurt!" Blair half wailed.

She had not said anything to Blair all this time about them, never lectured her on any of it, and though the accident had not been so very severe, it put life in a different context for her. Serena missed her best friend and she saw so clearly how much Blair and Chuck cared about each other.

"So is he, B. My wounds will heal. What about yours? What about his? You two keep cutting each other as if it could make anything better. He's… changed." She watched Blair pull a face, "Don't get me wrong, he's still a giant stubborn Basshole, but the other day… no one knew. He gave me something, to give you, if I thought it was right…" Serena gestured towards her purse.

Blair ached at her friend's words but could not deny her request, moving to pick up the handbag. Her eyes felt hot as she watched Serena pull a folded sheet of paper from her wallet, "He has hope, Blair. After everything, he still hopes."

Serena forced the thick sheet of paper into Blair's hands. Her fingers felt awkward and numb as she unfolded it. Her eyes were unfocused as they ran across the page. The crest of St. Jude's School, Charles B. Bass… but the line above his name, she blinked her eyes several times, uncertain as she read it over: _most improved student_.

"I…" Blair could not process the implications, "It… doesn't mean anything; he still parties, drinks, does drugs, and screws anything in a skirt."

"Does he B? You've been in Paris for six months. He still parties and drinks, but," Serena laughed, "He, uh… he's not sleeping with anyone, that's for sure."

Blair was now even more stunned and confused, "What do you mean? And how do you even know these things?"

"You didn't know? We're the official 'we miss Blair Waldorf' fan club." Serena smiled, as much as she could without it hurting, "We drink together sometimes, and miss you."

Serena's smile became sad and Blair could see all the things they would never say on the phone; how much the one missed the other. But Serena rallied and continued on, "As for my meaning… after a few drinks too many, I found out Chuck developed… a problem, after seeing you at the opera in Paris."

"Problem?" Blair furrowed her brow and was not following her meaning.

"A… _problem_." Serena gave Blair a look, nodding her head.

"Oh my god!" A huge grin spread across Blair's face in slight disbelief, "No?"

"Yes. You broke him. He's been out of commission for over two months. Poor Chuck…" Serena shook her head, and then made a little grin, "Maybe you should help him with that?"

"Serena Celia van der Woodsen!"

"What? Louis is sweet, but Chuck… he has missed you, and he wants you so badly." Serena's voice was teasing, but she reached out and held Blair's hand, "I know you still love him. We're practically sisters, B. Lie to yourself if you want to, but I see it. And look into his eyes Blair, _really_ look at him."

At that moment, there was a loud commotion outside the room and Blair went to see what it was.

* * *

Louis sat alone in the hall, feeling glad to have been able to help and be there for Blair. He was a little alarmed at Chuck's hostile behavior, to be so belligerent in front of company was bad enough, but to do so in a hospital, and in the presence of a traumatized person? It made him concerned that he would upset Blair more during this stressful time. She was already so upset about Serena; she hardly needed, what appeared to him, to be a jealous, lovesick boy in the mix.

While Serena and Blair were still talking, Chuck returned from his attempt to calm down. He saw Louis sitting outside the room and was instantly rankled once more. He walked up to Louis and looked down at him, his eyes cold, and his voice hard, "I know."

Louis stood at Chuck's accusation, "And what do you think you know? That I care about Blair? Any man who is lucky enough to know Blair is a fool to not care about her."

_Fool_. The words hurt in his ears. "And you think you know her? Because you walk with her and have taken her to a few parties?"

"I know I've never hurt her. I never humiliated her in front of everyone. I never broke her heart." Louis was succinct.

Chuck seethed with anger and grabbed Louis by his shirtfront. He gazed into the depths of the Prince's eyes, searching. He thought of the photos of Louis and Blair, recalled he had not been touching her, or holding her hand in the hospital room. With a cruel smirk, he called their bluff, "You don't love her either."

Louis stared back at him, his lips pursed together, "And you do?"

Blair opened the door at that moment and saw Chuck's hold on Louis, "Damnit, Chuck!"

Chuck let go, his expression instantaneously softening as he looked at Blair's face; she was furious with him, but it only served to make her more beautiful in his eyes. They were not in love. His heart leapt- they are not in love! Chuck's joy mixed with apprehension- _and you do?_ His thoughts and feelings were a tangled mess as he stared into Blair's eyes. He swallowed hard; he had not been ready for any of this. So he turned and retreated to his suite, planning to see Serena later, after Blair had left, and he had time to think.

Blair and Louis sat and visited Serena awhile longer. Louis said nothing about what had happened in the hallway, though Blair tried to apologize for Chuck's behavior. Soon, they made their excuses. Blair was determined that she be a proper New Yorker and show Louis the city, starting with a picnic in Central Park.

* * *

Chuck paced in his suite for a few hours before he gave up. He could not sort out his own thoughts at all, he itched with excitement that Blair was back, but lost at what to do next. Everything felt off track. Desperate for some level of clarity, he left to return to the hospital. He brought Serena lunch, and upon entering her room, she smiled at him, "I wondered how long you would be."

"Oh, would you like me to leave? I guess I'll take all this delicious food with me…" Chuck half turned out the door.

"No! Don't go! I'm dying for real food… almost as much as you are dying to hear about Blair?" Serena chuckled. He turned around, a rueful look on his face as he sat down next to her, unpacking their lunch.

"I'm worried about you too, you know…" Chuck had been horrified when he had heard about the accident, "After all, I just got my first sister…"

"Thank you, Chuck." Serena patted his arm, still a bit disconcerted with being Chuck Bass' sister, "I know I will be fine. You, however… that is yet to be seen."

Chuck frowned, "She's here with that damned Prince… and I haven't even…" he sighed, running a hand through his hair.

Serena shook her head as she stole some food from his plate, a small smile on her face, "Oh, stop it, Chuck. There has been one big question you haven't answered this entire time. What do you want?"

"Blair." It flew from his lips without hesitation. It was all he wanted. To be with her, to make her smile, to feel her little hand in his, to hear her laugh at him, her body pressed against his… Oh, how he wanted her… all of her.

"I know that!" Serena groaned, pushing him, "Why, Chuck? Why is she different from every other girl you've ever been with? Why does Blair being with Louis bother you so much?"

His heart ached; he remembered seeing Louis kiss Blair, causing his feelings to fly from sadness to anger. She was different because… he recalled that last night they shared in Paris in November, the intimacy of it. The thought that she might share such a night with someone else pressed on his heart and made him crazy with jealousy; he half shouted in desperation the feeling he had refused to name, "Because I love her!"

Serena leaned back into her pillows, a little smile on her lips as she watched Chuck's face when he realized what he said. There was a quick flash of horror, but mostly it was sadness, his eyes hollow. She reached down and squeezed his hand, "I know, Chuck. I'm glad you know now, too," Serena gave a deep sigh, unabashedly changing the subject, "It is so lovely out. What I wouldn't give to stroll through the park today!"

The look on her face, the little grin she had- said it all and Chuck did not need to be told twice. He squeezed Serena's hand back and left her to enjoy the rest of her lunch. He headed straight for Central Park.

* * *

It truly was a lovely day out as he ambled through the park, enjoying the beauty of it all, wondering what he was doing- what he was even looking for? He heard the sound of music in the distance, and found himself walking towards it. A meadow opened before him, and there was a large group of people dancing while others were picnicking on the outskirts of the improvised dance floor. His eyes instantly fell on Louis offering his hand to Blair as she stood from the blanket she had been resting on.

Chuck hotly followed them as they merged with the throng of dancers, his mind straining to place the music as he stood in the crowd, watching Blair smile up at Louis as he held her. They were about to whirl past him when Louis spun her out and suddenly Blair's delicate hand was outstretched towards him, even though her eyes were locked on Louis. It was impulsive- greed and jealously welling up in his chest. Chuck grabbed her hand, pulling her away from Louis and into _his_ arms.

Shocked, Blair let go of Louis' hand as she turned to see who was swiftly pulling her away from the Prince. Her heart pounded violently in her chest as her eyes met with those deep pools of caramel and gold she had fought so hard to forget. Her most vivid memories could not do justice to the feel of him, the warmth of his body, or the depths in his eyes as he enveloped her. Blair's chest tightened with pain at the feel of his hands on her, the heat from them burning through the fabric of her dress, rousing the recollection of so many touches, kisses, and the feel of her body joining with his. The lyrics of the song began, and instantly her heart ached, forcing her to turn away from the intensity of his gaze.

_He loves, and she loves_

_And they love, so why can't_

_You love, and I love, too?_

Blair felt even more perfect in his arms than in the dreams that haunted him in the darkness of night. He felt a warmth and contentment holding her that he had not felt since… His heart swelled recalling all the happiness they had once shared, hoping he could desperately find a way to push and pull the chasm between them closed.

In an attempt to shut the sound of the songs lyrics from her ears, Blair spoke, still avoiding his gaze. "You interrupted my dance with the Prince."

"I thought he could spare you for one dance with an old friend." Chuck's mouth felted dry, tasting bitter as he spoke the word they had once tried to hide behind.

"Were we even that, Chuck?" There was a sting in her voice as she said it. She would run from him if only it would not cause a scene.

He tilted his head down, his mouth grazing the shell of her ear as he whispered, "We were so much more than that. If only you hadn't left…"

Blair pushed him away, placing a respectable distance between them once more. Her face was a cold mask, but fury burned in her eyes, "If _I_ hadn't left?"

"You left me here. You left me in Paris. You have no idea what you have done. None at all, because you never stop running long enough to see me." His coolness matched hers, but his heart was furious and the words felt thick in his throat.

"How could I bear to look at you after that night? At what you became when you broke my heart?" The sun, which had been so pleasantly warm before, was becoming incredibly hot. Chuck's intimate proximity combined with the heat of their painful memories, all making Blair's head spin.

Chuck's grasp on Blair tightened, "That was almost six months ago," he nearly growled as he spoke. She looked up at him, her expression matching his fury and pain, all pushing him to continue, "I know… that night…"

He shook his head, shaking away the pain and the memories, "But you haven't seen me, and after all that time, with the Atlantic Ocean between us… was nothing against your power."

Blair felt her world tilting, and closed her eyes as he reverently brought his hand to her face, his fingers lightly caressing her cheek. The pounding in her ears became louder, and suddenly, Chuck was no longer holding her, moving them in perfect circles across the meadow. Her eyes snapped open and the loud noise she heard was applause- the song had ended. Glancing up at Chuck, she saw a sad softness in his eyes as he gave her a small smile before turning and walking away.

Chuck had to walk away. Today had been full of so many emotions, and this encounter with Blair had been too much. He could no longer ignore that secret thought he had kept quiet in the deepest darkest corner of his mind these past months. Even with the painful words and furious looks, in these past few minutes with Blair… he had felt more complete and alive than he had in over six months. His life, without Blair Waldorf, was no life at all.

After Chuck's little stunt in the park, Blair politely feigned a headache to Louis, though she was certain he knew what her true problem was. When Chuck had pulled Blair away from him, he was shocked; not only from the bold action, but the look on Chuck's face. The intense longing and desire on his face was not something he had expected to see. So he stood in the crowd, and observed the pair.

Louis had been curious to see them together after all Blair had told him these past months. Though the conversation hardly looked to be a pleasant one, the energy between them was palpable as they danced. When Chuck had abruptly left her, the shock and heartache on her face was plainly obvious, and Louis was hardly surprised by her desire to return home after that- headache, or no.

* * *

Back home, Blair took a cold shower, trying to cool herself and the fury that was consuming her. It was the most they had spoken in months, and the upset on his face, his sadness, it all roiled her. _How dare he!_ She thought. _How dare he act like a wounded puppy! He was the one that broke my_ _heart!_

Blair angrily yanked her dresser drawer open to change. She instantly blanched, forgetting she was not in Paris, and her luggage was still packed. All the lingerie Chuck has lavished her with now lay before her. It felt like a swift kick in the chest as the air rushed from her lungs in a gasp. She sat back on her bed and dropped her head in her hands. _I should not still love him. He doesn't love me._

A little part of her felt sorry for him, and she laughed for a moment, recalling what Serena had told her: _Chuck developed a… problem._ Blair had trouble believing she had ever truly hurt the great Chuck Bass, however that she had dented his armor was quite satisfying. But she needed to be done with this game. She had a good life in Paris and it might never be safe for her to be near Chuck.

Standing, Blair reached into the very back of the lingerie drawer. Grasping silk and boning, she smiled. Check… and mate.

* * *

As Chuck returned to his suite, his phone buzzed. Opening it, he groaned at the sender ID before his eyes fell to the image and then read the accompanying text.

_Our Princess has returned!_

_And with a real Prince to boot._

_We hear in France she has become a proper Queen._

_Yet, as Temp02 snapped in the park,_

_It appears that this Queen_

_May have lost her King._

_You know you love me,_

_xoxo_

_Gossip Girl_

His feelings were tattered and raw as he cursed at his phone. Someone had taken a photo of him walking away from Blair in the park. The look on her face… He could not think or feel one more thing today. Pulling the blinds shut he sat on the sofa, scotch in hand staring into nothingness.

His eyelids felt heavy halfway through steadily drinking the contents of the carafe on the coffee table and he was more than happy to sink into the darkness that was awaiting him. A deep sleep, no dreams, or images, or memories of…

The door to his suite clicked. His head lolled to the side to witness the strange phenomenon of someone entering his room without knocking. _Without knocking_, the thought clattered through his mind at the same time his eyes registered the curious sight. He sighed heavily at the resplendent image of Blair Waldorf in his doorway.

His eyes raked over her in tall black pumps, sheer black stockings, and a dark blue silk trench coat wrapped around her. Then he stared at the whiteness of the long expanse of her neck exposed by her upswept hair. If he was dreaming or hallucinating, his imagination was becoming far too good.

Blair paused when she opened the door. She had not expected Chuck to be sitting on the sofa, but rather hidden away in his room, like he had always been in the past. His face was devoid of emotion, his eyes were dark, and his hair was disheveled from raking his hands through it one too many times. Yet, in spite of all his darkness, she was pulled to him, her skin grew hot with the memory of his touch, and the knowledge she would feel it again soon.

Walking to him, she watched as he laid his glass of scotch down and leaned back against the sofa, his eyes following her until she stood before him. "Chuck."

He gazed up at her, his eyes drawn to her mouth, painted a siren red. He imagined smearing the redness from them as he watched her lips move, speaking his name. Blair was pulling open the silky coat, and Chuck feared he had stopped breathing as it slithered to the floor. Red silk with black details clung to her torso and pushed her breasts up until they nearly spilled over: it was the corset she had never worn for him. His cock was hard and aching in his trousers; if this was a game, Chuck knew he had already lost.

Blair only smiled at the expression on his face when her coat had dropped away. She would cure Chuck's problem, and in turn, hopefully, her own. Her incredibly tall heels slipped away and she straddled his lap, her hands holding his face, she kissed him as her hips settled against his. Her hands slid slowly down his chest as she opened the buttons of his dress shirt.

He felt his eyes roll back before her lips had even crashed into his. His hands grasped her waist, forcing her body closer to his. She smelled like heaven, tasted like perfection, and he felt he would dissolve in the feel of her.

Breaking the kiss, Chuck shrugged off his shirt and Blair's hands dropped to unfasten his trousers. Blair felt her chest heaving inside the corset with wild anticipation. She wanted him so badly and she hated him for it- that it had to be him that would make her feel this way! She could have had such a different life if she was not so in love with him. Shoving his trousers and underwear away, she looked at him with fire in her eyes, "I could have been a Princess."

He made a small laugh, his eyes as fiery as hers, "Because that's what you want?" Pulling the pointless scrap of black lace aside, in his mix of lust and fury it snapped, and he tore it away before shoving all the way into her, making her scream with pleasure.

Blair's nails sank into the muscle of his shoulders as her back arched and she cried out. She rode him at a demanding pace, and came shamefully fast and hard, panting his name. _Completion_- the thought pulsed through her as his body met with hers.

Chuck devoured the sight before him, his head swimming with pleasure. His lust overwhelmed him, and he shoved her back onto the heavy wooden coffee table, his tumbler and the half-empty carafe of scotch knocked to the floor, shattering. There was nothing in his life comparable to fucking her; even memories of it were incredibly insufficient to the real thing. She clung to him as he ruthlessly pounded into her every ounce of his frustration. Frustration for leaving him, for denying him, for making him feel, for being all he ever wanted. Her nails scratched his back and he yelled as he came, pouring into her… into Blair, with all the unobtainable relief he had been seeking for months.

It took several minutes for the haze of sexual bliss to clear and Chuck to pull away. It was done. She had fixed his problem. She gave into him, letting his passion burn her, and now, it could finally be over. The hooks and eyes of the corset dug into her back as she sat up from the table. Chuck was watching her as she reached for her coat. His hand grabbed her arm, "You didn't expect to be leaving already?"

Blair tilted her head, "Well, your little problem is all better now, isn't it?"

"My _problem?_" His eyes were hard as he realized that Serena must have told her. He pulled the coat from her hand, banishing it once more to the floor, "If _only_ that was my problem."

His hands wrapped around the corset, and with expert skill, he popped it open and let it drop away. Drinking in the sight of her naked body at last, he touched the curves he desired so much. She shivered and he looked into her wide eyes and shook his head. Grabbing her hand, he took her to the window, pulling the blinds open. The sun was setting over New York and the city was golden. He looked back at Blair, "I could have any of that. Mine to choose from, to discard as I please."

Chuck's hand clasped around her neck, forcing her head up so he could stare into those pools of deep brown, "But none of it matters now. None of it."

He shoved her back against the cold glass, pining her there as he pulled her up, burying himself in her once more without any warning. Taking her a second time did not diminish anything. His lust, the feel of her, his need, how much he wanted her, all burned brightly. He listened to her breath shudder, softly crying his name. She tightened around him in her pleasure, and he felt her little mouth on his collarbone, her teeth sinking into him as she whimpered. His eyes rolled back into his head, groaning deeply as he came again.

Blair's legs were shaky as she stood, leaning back against the window. Chuck was still panting as he stared out on the city. She leaned her head back, closing her eyes a moment. There was a battlefield littered with raw emotions between them. It was going to be a long night.

Chuck lifted his eyes to look at her beautiful face, bitter with the thought that she would leave; leave this room, leave New York, leave him- any of them, it did not matter, just that she would leave because she wanted something that was not him. He stood upright, "Time to go home to your pretty little Prince yet? The one you don't love?"

Her eyes snapped open when he spoke. She pushed herself away from the window and stared up at him, her eyes cold. He stared back, his gaze unyielding, and she became furious that he would say such a thing- that he dared even mention love in front of her. The sound cracked through the air. Her hand stung. He was shocked and his wide jaw line was flushed red. But she saw it again; that look in his eyes she had seen before he had left her in the park earlier. Blair grabbed his hair, pulling him down to her so she could kiss him. Dragging him towards his bedroom, she gasped, "Again."

They passed the night in his bed- a complicated dance of pushing and pulling, passing out only to wake and do it once more. They fucked so much, Chuck inwardly grinned at the thought of his seed pouring out of her for days, their bruises not healing for weeks, and her nails possibly having scarred his back permanently.

Blair hoped to find that point where she would be satisfied. She would have enough and she could feel safe from his temptation. Yet, when the last round ended and sleep finally took them captive, exhaustion found her curled up in his arms, a small smile on her lips as she listened to his heart beating.

* * *

Chuck roused to the sensation of something pressing against his chest. Warmth radiated from it and he realized it was someone lying in his arms. He moaned a little, thinking it had just been another failed night with a prostitute. He leaned his head against hers; this girl used the same shampoo as Blair... Blair! Opening his eyes he saw it was indeed her and his heart ached. He slowly pulled himself from his bed and standing, he looked down at her, raking a hand through his hair. There was nothing as wonderful as what he was feeling now, having her here with him. But... Last night. The air in his room was thick with the smell of sex and he needed to breathe, focus his thoughts. Focus his feelings.

Pulling on some clothes, he quietly left his suite. Yesterday had been such a whirlwind from the moment he saw Blair. _Because I love her_... Could he do it though? Could he be that guy? He thought on the past year and the adventure it had been... because of her. Life was more- meant more, with her at his side. But they had been so awful to each other last night. How could that have been a good thing? Maybe that was her point in coming to him? So she could find a way to hate him. How could she care that he was in love with her?

These thoughts circled in his head and he decided he would not return to his suite. Reaching into his pocket to call Arthur, he realized he had left his phone in his room. Hopefully, she would still be asleep and he could come and go without her knowing, then, she could leave without seeing him again. He felt fragmented and exhausted as the elevator climbed higher and higher.

* * *

Blair stretched out in bed as she stirred- not her bed. Nervous, she peaked her eyes open. The Palace? And like that, it all hit her. But where was Chuck? Slipping from the bed she looked into the living area- gone. That made her nervous, more nervous than if he had been here. _Mine to choose from, to discard as I please_... Perhaps he was being kind? Making it easy for her to be discarded without him saying it to her face.

Her thighs were slick with him, and she bit her lip as to not sob. He was doing the right thing... this had to end once and for all. Blair opened the drawer where she knew he had once kept the underwear he had taken from her. Opening it she was not surprised to find it all still there, but a thick folder had been added to the collection, the corner of a photo sticking out. Chuck was not here, so she could take a quick look, right? Flipping it open, there were photos of her... in France. Blair dropped it back into the drawer. Fuck her panties, she could not... He… Why would he have such a thing? Her mind spun.

He had been having her followed. She pulled it open again and flipped through the pages, staring at the dates. Since about the time she had left for Paris. Oh Chuck... They were so damaged. She wanted love and he had no words and a PI. Blair sighed, rubbing her eyes then pushing the drawer closed. She had to leave. A quick shower and it could all finally be over.

* * *

When Chuck returned, he heard the water running in his bathroom. Blair was already up. Part of him felt guilty for leaving her alone and he slipped off his loafers in an attempt to keep quiet. He pushed the door open out of curiosity, wanting one last glimpse. He swallowed hard as he took in the sight of her naked under the cascade of water. Months… it had been months since she had been here, like this. The various memories of her in his shower flashed in his mind. He had not realized how much it was all killing him until now. Time and space had magnified her allure, her pull, and in turn, his need of her.

Pure temptation dragged him across the bathroom and he pulled the shower door open. All these feelings- all the things he had struggled with came from her. She had made him a broken man and he now wanted to break her body. His arms clasped around her waist under the falling water and pulled her back flush to his chest. He heard her gasp.

"Chuck," She turned in his arms to brace herself against him, "You're still dressed; what are you doing?"

He did not answer her with words. His kiss was rough and bruising- hot and insistent. His fingers dug into her back as the water soaked his clothing, making it heavy, clinging to his skin.

Blair felt that fire burn inside her, his touch flaming out, spiraling through her body. Her hands slid down his wet shirt and pulled his pants open. She moaned, covering for a small sob that caught in her throat as she remembered their first night together, in this very shower:

_What… was that?_

_ That… was what you do to me._

His lips were crushing against hers as she grasped his cock, so hot in her hand, she stroked him, making him growl. His hands moved from her waist to wrap around her arms. Still kissing her, he shoved her, hard into the tiled wall. Her mouth jolted away from his as she gasped for breath.

"You broke me, Blair." It was cold as it hit her ears, but she heard a cry of desperation threaded through it.

"And you twisted me, Chuck."

Her eyes glimmered darkly at him, and he grabbed her thigh, forcing it up and back as his other hand cupped her sex, his fingers pulling her open, his hips coming forward. The head of his cock nestled there for a sublime moment before the shaft of his hardness was buried to the hilt inside of her. She trembled, her eyes rolled back, and she panted hard. He drank in the sight of her pleasure. But he snapped- _you twisted me._

"No!" He gritted, pulling out, he stepped back away from her. His blood was roaring in his ears, pounding through his veins with this madness she caused in him. But he had to fight it- he _had_ to.

Blair crumpled to the ground, the loss of his heat and hardness taking her strength with him. Her eyes fluttered open to see him getting out of the shower. She seethed with need and anger, staggering to her feet. She stepped out of the shower right behind him, reaching out and snagging the back of his shirt. As he turned to try and escape, she knelt down, pulling his cock into her mouth before he even knew what was happening.

He let out a low groan at the feel of her; his head swam. He reached to grasp something but there was nothing as his legs twitched. Blair reached up with her hands, digging her nails into his hips. Chuck shook, groaning, and finally dropped to his knees. She pushed him back against the floor and climbed astride him.

A happy sigh of completion escaped her lips as he filled her body. Her hips jerked at the overwhelming feel of him. Chuck's hands came to wrap around her waist as she began to rock on him. His grip became tighter and she gasped a small cry as he ground her body against him. Harder… faster, he pushed her, pulled her. He was going to break her; she was coming apart in his hands. Tears bloomed in the corner of her eyes, her nails clawed at his chest as she cried out his name, her climax laced with sorrow, loss, and pain.

He only shook her harder, roaring and slamming his hips up into hers as he spilled his agony. Blair quickly wiped her tears away before he could see them, and she stood, shakily walking to the bedroom. She had to hold herself together- she had to leave; it was all over now.

Chuck laid there for several moments, cold and alone, the deep pools of his eyes matte and vacant. When he rose, he shed his wet clothes. Quickly dressing into clean dry trousers, he found Blair in the living room, wrapping the trench coat around her body. "Blair…"

She gave him a small smile and walked over to him. She reached up and cupped his face, "Chuck."

On her tiptoes, she leaned up and kissed him so tenderly. She pulled her mouth away, but kept her face close to his, staring into his eyes. She held him there, fixing him to the center of her universe, "I love you, Chuck."

His body jerked at the electricity of her words, and though she had paused, she did not stop there.

"I will always love you. You were my first… my first everything. Did you even know you were my first kiss?" Blair made a small laugh. "You'll always be a part of me, always in my heart. I hope…" she felt the tears threatening and she forced the last words out, "I hope you'll be able to love someone… some day."

She could have said more, she wanted to. But the heartache was too much, she had been true to herself- to him, and now she had to be strong, it was time to leave. She grabbed her clutch and flew through the door, fleeing from The Palace and all the happiness it held for her.

When she let go of his face and turned, Chuck collapsed onto the sofa behind him. It was the second time she had said those words to him. And he failed again. His mind was hazy and he tried to focus on the other words she had spoken. He was confused, it all sounded so strange, until he replayed the last line in his mind. "_I hope you'll be able to love someone... some day." _

She had given up on him. Blair was done running- she had come to love him and say goodbye for good. His mind turned and turned, his heart pounding, he thought, _but I love you… today_.

Chuck stood, his face set; he was determined. There was work to be done.

* * *

Blair hid in her room all day. She called Serena to talk, but just knew if Serena saw her face, there would be no avoiding her questions. She hid behind her awful headache, and said she would visit again tomorrow, before she left to go back to France. After all, she still had to finish her classes before her vacation could begin.

Louis returned in the evening to pick Blair up for the opera. He found her sitting at her vanity fixing her immaculate hair. He smiled, "I am glad you are feeling better."

She smiled back at him, "I am! I think the stress of Serena's accident and the traveling was a bit much for me." She stood as she spoke, and reached up to adjust his bow tie.

"Blair…" He watched her closely.

"Hmm…" She continued to fidget with his bow tie a moment longer.

He slipped his phone from his pocket and held it up to her.

_A Queen fleeing from The Palace,_

_In less than royal attire._

_Is she running to the arms of her Prince?_

_Or running from the bed of her King?_

_He may rule over the underworld,_

_But what does that matter,_

_If he rules over your passion… and your heart?_

_You know you love me,_

_xoxo_

_Gossip Girl_

Blair audibly huffed at the image of her bolting from The Palace that morning, and its disturbingly accurate text. She stepped back from Louis, clad in a purple gown that glowed against her porcelain skin, her ears, neck, and wrists dripping with pink and white diamonds, and her pouting mouth pink, sparkling and shining with gloss. "What do you want me to say?"

"I've only ever asked you to be honest with me, as a friend," Louis replied.

"I went to say goodbye. I… owed him that much." Blair held her head high as she spoke.

"And?" Louis knew there was more.

"I gave him what I owed him. And I was true and honest to myself, my feelings. I said..." Her strong countenance wavered a little, "That I will always love him."

"Blair…" Louis smiled at her, proud that she had admitted this… and not just to herself, "What did he say?"

"I…" She furrowed her brow here. "I said I hope he might feel that way about someone… some day. And left."

He sighed, and shook his head at her. "Oh, Blair…"

His dismissiveness vexed her and she bit back, "You weren't there, Louis. You didn't see how awful we were with one another. So much hurt, and anger. He wasn't even there when I woke up. There is no love in him!" Her last words choked out of her mouth.

Louis wrapped his arms around her, "Shhh… I just think, maybe just once you should have not run so quickly." He chuckled a little.

"I just… wanted it to be over. No more peonies… no more secretly hoping for… something." Her breath shuddered, "This summer… Serena and I can hide in the Hamptons, or… go somewhere, anywhere. And in the autumn, I can be back in Paris with you, and Papa…"

"Only if that is what you _truly_ want, Blair. I can survive losing such a good friend if it means she isn't losing her heart." He was sincere saying this, as he looked into her eyes. She gave him her best attempt at a smile.

"Come… we can't be late to the opera." She diverted all this seriousness as she pulled him out of her room.

* * *

Blair leaned her head against Louis' shoulder as the third scene of Turandot opened. Nessun Dorma always made her cry, though, she thought it probably made most women cry. She excitedly anticipated the solo nonetheless, for the sweep of emotions it caused. _When we fall in love, we hear Puccini in our heads…._ She sighed. She had not cried all day after she had left Chuck. But now she could and she longed for the release of it in response to the sweet sound of the orchestra and the tenor's voice.

The box that had been vacant next to them all evening was abruptly occupied by a gentleman and a sultry looking, leggy blonde. The gentleman turned to Blair and she sat bolt upright. Chuck. Only _he_ would show up in the last act of the opera. His presence instantly irritated her and she desperately did not want him to ruin her favorite moment of the night.

Chuck smiled as he saw Blair exit her seat from the corner of his eye. The tenor had just taken center stage and begun to sing his solo; he felt he could not have orchestrated this moment any better. He stood and left to find her.

Blair was pacing in the hallway, her emotions overflowing from the undeniable beauty of the music, but she could not calm the bitterness she felt from Chuck being here, with some tasteless woman. She stopped pacing a moment and laughed a little to herself remembering l'Opera Garnier; was he determined to ruin opera for her for life?

He came up behind her, "Blair."

She whirled on the spot, "Chuck. You shouldn't leave your date unaccompanied."

"She's not my date. I brought her because I knew it would upset you, so I could talk to you."

"Then, I should go back to Louis," she bit back, upset to have not seen through his ploy.

"No, you shouldn't. You should stay right here, with me." Chuck took her hand in his, watching sadness pass over her beautiful face. He stepped closer to her, and tilted her chin up, so she might look into his eyes. His heart beat wildly; it beat for her. "You once told me, when we fall in love, we hear Puccini in our heads."

Blair stiffened under his touch, and between him, the music, what he was saying, it was too much, and tears began to gather in her eyes.

"Blair," he smiled, "I think I must be living in one of Puccini's operas, because every day I wake- every day I see _you_, I hear Puccini, walk through a Manet painting, and feel I could write greater poetry than Keats, or Shakespeare, because…" he paused as he drank in the sight and feel of her, his whole body tingling with happiness.

"Chuck…" She gasped as a tear streamed down her cheek, the joy of it all too much to bear. He pulled her towards him, the most beautiful smile in the world on his face.

"I love you."

The music swelled around them as they kissed. Blair was crying, yet laughing too, out of the incredible bliss she felt as he held her, as they kissed. _I love you_.

They held hands as they flew from Lincoln Center, the night was only beginning for these lovers; their lives were only beginning.

~Fin~

* * *

**AN: It only makes sense that this story ends with my beginning. The Fire Below by The Very Last Valkyrie; I love you my dear. **

**Given that the epilogue has its on special dedication, I will take the end of this chapter, with its wild range of emotions and beautiful I love you's, and dedicate it to you- every single one of my readers. It has been an incredible journey for me, and part of that was because of you. I met many of you on forum boards, others on Tumblr, or here through reviews. But even if you are one of my many quiet readers who only show up as a tick on the story's stat report, you have made **_**this**_** story the most amazing creative experience of my life- so far -_^**

**Thank you. **


	25. Love You Some Day

Epilogue:

Love You Some Day

The weather had been temperamental in the Hamptons all week. However, even the weather bowed before Lily van der Woodsen it seemed, as the day was perfect for her annual summer garden party. It would be her last, as a van der Woodsen at least, before the wedding the coming week.

Blair walked through the crowd on the terrace, greeting people, her smile flawless. She waved to Serena, who had captivated the attention of several boys, all clustered around her. Looking through the crowd, she finally spotted what she had been looking for.

Chuck was in conversation with a stuffed suit from Wall Street, pressing his point to the man, "Real estate is unstable right now. Investing in companies with long-term stability while retaining a fair level of liquid assets means when the time comes, the right person could be in a position to buy the entire housing market in Brooklyn if they wanted."

Somehow, he felt Blair's presence before she even touched him. She tucked her arm into his and begged to borrow her boyfriend from the nameless businessman. As they turned to depart, he purred in her ear, "Boyfriend… I still love how it sounds when you say it." Blair threaded her fingers through his, smiling as she pulled him away.

Leaving the terrace, the couple ventured into the gardens. They walked in silence for several long moments, soaking up the sun and simply enjoying being away from the crowd of people. Past the fountain, the gazebo, they strolled, holding hands. Passing a row of hedges, Blair finally spoke.

"You know…" Chuck's eyes met hers, "there is something I have wanted for a long time now."

"Really?"

His eyes twinkled at her and her voice was low and deep when she replied, "Mm, dreamed of… fantasized about."

They passed the row of hedges and the Greco-Roman ruins lay before them. Not another word was spoken. Chuck held her hand tighter, hastily pulling her to the very spot he had been last year. He pushed her against the pillar, his mouth hot on hers, his large hands grasping the thin fabric of her sundress.

Blair's head was swimming from his furious kisses and she panted hard when his hand slipped beneath her dress. She could have fainted from the anticipation of it; how many times in the past year had she dreamed of this? Dreamt that the girl in this garden had been her?

Chuck kissed down her neck as he pushed her underwear aside and sank two fingers deep into her. He listened to her moan as he worked her, her hands dropping down to pull his trousers open.

His mouth was on hers once more; his kisses were feverish as she stroked him with her hand. His hands cupped her ass as he hoisted her up, her legs wrapping around his waist. He slipped inside her and they both let out a delicious moan at being coupled once more. Blair held on tight as he rocked into her, whimpering, "Yes…" as her fantasy came even more to life.

By now, he knew her rhythm as well as his own, and he felt her growing closer to the precipice. Leaning in more, he growled in her ear, "Say my name," before kissing her neck in just the right spot, pushing her towards her bliss.

"Chuck!" Blair cried, her fingers digging into his shoulders through his white linen jacket.

Several more long hard thrusts and it was Chuck's turn to cry out her name as he came. Their trembling calmed, their breathing slowed, and he carefully lowered his love back to the ground. There was no running off to chase a girl this year… all he wanted was right here in his arms.

Once recovered, Blair fixed her dress as Chuck made himself look presentable again. She gave him a dirty little smile before throwing her arms around him and kissing him. They tumbled into the grass as Blair giggled. Life was much better than fantasy.

Lying next to one another under the blue sky, Chuck sighed happily. After a few long moments of contentment he rolled onto his side, propping up on his elbow to gaze down at Blair. Their eyes met and he could not hold back his smile in response to the beautiful one on her face. His free hand reached out to stroke her hair, his look growing more pensive. "Blair, have you had a good summer?"

Her eyes grew wide, how could he not know the answer to that question? "You know I have. A fantastic summer, the best ever."

"So, you don't mind being in love with me?" He smiled as he said the words; just saying them still made him deliriously happy, "We've been away in the Hamptons all summer. With school starting soon…"

"With school starting soon, I'll be able to walk to school with you again, and kiss you in the courtyard, and make Penelope green with envy when we're sitting together at lunch. Because I love you." She cupped his face in her hand and he nuzzled against it.

"Well then," he sat upright, and Blair followed his lead, "I'm glad I went and talked to Serena."

Blair furrowed her brow, thoroughly confused, "Serena? Why did you need to talk to Serena?"

"A consult." Chuck laughed, "And for permission. She was keeping something of mine."

Chuck reached into his jacket, pulling out the little red and gold box from Cartier, which Blair had so many months ago, begged Serena to take. Blair had to force herself not to cry from his sweetness.

He lifted the diamond from its case, "It may have taken me awhile to love you some day," he smiled at her, as they both remembered that day in her room, "But now that I do, I intend to love you every day."

The necklace in place, Blair pulled him to her, kissing him deeply as they fell back into the grass. They made out for a solid ten minutes before Blair was able to drag him back to the party.

Emerging from the garden, Blair saw couples sweeping across a tented dance floor. "You know…"

Chuck tilted his head, looking down at her in question.

"I had once heard Chuck Bass did not dance. But I was later told I had been misinformed. And now… I have no idea. Does he dance?"

Chuck laughed a little, and decided to quote her favorite Shakespearian heroine, "I would not deny you, but by this good day, I yield upon great persuasion."

Blair smiled, knowing the reply by heart; she reached up for him on tiptoe, "Peace! I will stop your mouth." And kissed him.

He wrapped his arms around her and without breaking their kiss, he whirled them onto the dance floor. The Carousel Waltz was playing, and they spun in circles within circles, full of happiness, laughter, and… love.

_Love, at last_, Chuck thought. He lifted Blair all the way up, off the floor, and spun her in the air. The diamond around her neck sparkled at him and the look on her face as she smiled and giggled at the scene he was causing was the most perfect image ever and he knew he would hold it in his heart, always.

After several long minutes, the waltz ended. They walked arm in arm from the dance floor towards Serena, all aglow with happiness. "Some champagne?" Chuck inquired.

"Okay." Blair smiled and kissed him on the cheek as he left her with her friend to retrieve their drinks.

Blair stood next to Serena, still smiling as she watched Chuck move through the crowd.

Serena smiled at how sweet they were. Quirking an eyebrow at her friend, she pondered aloud, "So, wasn't I right? You fell for a Darcy, not a Bingley."

"Oh S! As though we are fully formed as characters at the age of 16!" Chuck returned, handing her a drink, "But I will say, as long as we don't turn into our mothers…" Mimicking what Serena had said when they had talked of Chuck and love last year at this same party.

Blair took Chuck's arm and as they began to step away from Serena, she turned back, a beautiful smile on her face, "I think I'm going to be quite happy."

* * *

**A/N: The end is the beginning is the end. Love You… Some Day.**

**I dedicate this epilogue- and the entire story, to my husband, on the anniversary of our first kiss, the second year of our wedded bliss, and nine incredible years as a couple. I adore you, you have all of my devotion -_^ and… **

**I love you, every day. **


End file.
